A Human Wife
by sciencebaby45
Summary: This is an AU story of the series three episodes Human Nature/Family of Blood. Except in this story, Rose is his companion and takes place in series two after The Idiot's Lantern. Basically, what will happen when the Doctor has to change into a human when Rose is present? And the added complication of: "He thinks he is married to you!"
1. The Change

**Hello! I am republishing this story after my account, gabrielleizzy45, was compromised. Therefore, I apologize if you've read it before. It'll be slightly different, but basically the same.**

 **Basically this story is about what if Rose had been present when he had to use the Chameleon Arch in Human Nature/Family of Blood. It is in present time so that Rose can be around Jackie for the 3 months he is human.**

 **Thanks so much. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review for me. :)**

 **This is an AU story of the series three episodes Human Nature/Family of Blood. Except in this story, Rose is his companion and takes place in series two after The Idiot's Lantern. Basically, what will happen when the Doctor has to change into a human when Rose is present? And the added complication of: "He thinks he is married to you!"**

The Change

"GET DOWN!" the Doctor yelled as he shoved Rose ahead of him into the TARDIS. She hit the grilled floor, her head bouncing with the force of his push, but thankfully escaping just in time.

It had been a relatively uneventful day, well for them it was. They had been on a beach planet with a name she couldn't pronounce, just leisurely spending time wandering around. After the fiasco in the parallel universe when Rose had to say goodbye to Mickey forever the Doctor had been trying to keep things fun and light for her. But, after a few weeks, Rose was just jumping for adventure. Though running for their lives was nothing new, she wasn't too pleased with their predicament right now. Only ten minutes ago the Doctor had jumped up, proclaiming that they had to run. At first Rose thought he was just joking, but suddenly there were lasers trying to shoot them down. They had just managed to reach the TARDIS in time and Rose still had no idea what they were running from.

"Did they see you?" he demanded, breaking her out of her thoughts as she staggered to her feet, tenderly rubbing the sore spot on her head. "Rose? Did they see your face?" the Doctor yelled again, pushing her farther into the TARDIS and away from the noisy world outside the doors.

"You didn't have to push me in," Rose retorted, annoyed that he was being so cryptic. After all they were certainly safe in the TARDIS now, why was he acting so frantic? The largest issue on her mind right now was her head.

Finally seeming to notice what she had said, the Doctor took a deep breath and spoke up in a calmer voice. "Sorry about that, are you okay?"

"Of course," Rose responded as she casually sat down on the jump seat, wondering when the Doctor would pilot them away from this planet into the relative safety of the Time Vortex. "Well, come on then," she finished, hoping to get him moving again.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," the Doctor whispered, standing frozen in place. "But you need to tell me if they saw your face."

"I was too busy running to tell! Don't worry about me, what was attacking us?" Rose said as the Doctor finally ran to the controls and began to pilot the TARDIS away.

"Rose, it's important! Did they see your face?" the Doctor repeated, moving to stand in front of her. She looked up, knowing that she had to answer him honestly. She worried her lower lip with her teeth and then shook her head as the Doctor took a few steps away.

"No, no, they couldn't have!" Rose finally replied, her voice lowering. The rush of adrenaline was beginning to wear off and she felt as though her legs were turning to jelly despite how sharp her mind was at the moment. If the Doctor was this concerned something must seriously be the matter. He usually laughed at danger and, not surprisingly, she did as well.

"Off we go," the Doctor muttered, setting the coordinates, once again refusing to explain what had happened. The TARDIS's alarms began blazing and the Doctor grabbed the monitor, pulling it to where they could both see it. "Argh! They're following us!"

"How can they do that? The TARDIS is a time machine," Rose said, complete trust in her words, standing up and placing a comforting hand on the Doctor's shoulder, hoping that her words were true.

"Stolen technology. They've got a Time Agent's vortex manipulator that they must have killed for," he answered as he began fumbling with the controls, not looking at her. "They can follow us where ever we go now. Right across the universe. And they're never going to stop. Unless…" he said as he scrubbed a hand through his wild brown hair, making it stand on end even more than usual. His brown eyes stared into the far distance, almost as if Rose didn't exist. "I'll have to do it," he whispered to the air. Rose was staring at him, cocking her head to the side in confusion. "Rose, I don't even need to ask – you trust me."

"Of course I do, Doctor," Rose answered anyway. "Wait, what are you going to do that makes you have to ask me that? What you're saying isn't making any sense."

The Doctor ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he explained what needed to happen to Rose. "The Family of Blood," he explained, continuing when Rose didn't seem to understand how much danger they were in. "They want to feed off my Time Lord essence…They have short life spans and want to use mine. And now I have to do it. I'm sorry Rose. I'm so, so sorry."

"What? What do you need to do?" Rose gasped as the Doctor lowered a strange looking device from the ceiling. Everything was happening so quickly now and she wasn't getting the explanation she needed. "Doctor!"

"I am so sorry," the Doctor repeated, coming to stand in front of her and pulling her in for a hug. Something about how tight he was holding her made her realize how serious the situation was. So, she pulled him tighter as well, breathing in his scent as she buried her face against his neck.

Rose swore she heard the Doctor say something in a language she didn't understand, presumably Gallifreyan, but it was so low it could have been background noise. As the Doctor reluctantly pulled away, Rose closed her eyes, relishing in how the Doctor still had a tight grip on her waist. "It's okay," she muttered as she pressed her palm against his cheek, knowing that the Doctor was going to feel guilty about something if he kept apologizing.

"No it's not," the Doctor said, his tone of voice not changing. Then, without saying anything else, the Doctor leaned in and kissed her. It only lasted a few seconds and Rose didn't have time to reciprocate, but she relished in the softness of his lips. Sure they had kissed a few times in the past, but they were always significant.

As she expected, the Doctor didn't deepen the kiss. Instead he took another step back and offered her a small smile. Before she could say anything, the TARIDS lurches as another onslaught of lasers attacked them. Knowing the importance of the situation, Rose sent the Doctor a soft smile. "Well, we'd better get to it then."

The Doctor stared at her a long moment before continuing. "Rose, this is the Chameleon Arch. It's going to rewrite my biology to human so we can hide. I'm going to become human," he explained, messing with the odd device. "As I said before they have a short lifespan of about three months. So we need to hide for three months. I'm sorry, but I won't be _me_ anymore when I'm human. I won't have the same mind as I do now, I won't be able to remember everything. The TARDIS will implant a story into my head. But my mind will be inside of this fob watch," he continued, holding out a watch with Gallifreyan writing on the front. "You need to keep an eye on this watch for me. She'll help you with what to do," he frantically explained, referring to the TARDIS as he ran around the controls to set the correct coordinates.

""But," Rose interrupted, trying to make sense of the Doctor's ramble.

Leaving behind the Chameleon Arch for a moment, the Doctor stood in front of Rose and put his hands on either side of her face so she would have to look at him. "Where would you feel most comfortable being the next few months?" the Doctor asked, continuing when Rose just stared at him wide-eyed. "You would be okay going to London with your mother?"

"Sure," Rose answered, not sure what else she could even suggest. "If I can't be with you I'd want to be with Mum."

"We'll be around Jackie then, she'll just _love_ this," he snorted, turning around and quickly programming the correct settings on the control. "Wonder how many infamous slaps from Jackie Tyler I'll earn after this?"

Rose tried to laugh, but wasn't really able to when she thought of all that was about to happen. "It's okay. And I know we don't have long," she whispered in what she hoped was a reassuring voice, taking one of his hands in both of hers "But…will you know me at all? How am I supposed to make sure you're okay if you don't know me?"

"I don't know, maybe," he slowly admitted. "It all depends on what the TARDIS implants into my human memory," the Doctor said, the tone of his voice and the chance of the whole situation scaring her even more. Before she had time to process that the Doctor connected himself to the arch with surprising agility. "Rose, I was going to take you to see Ed Sullivan and Elvis tomorrow. Remember?"

Rose laughed, remembering all the other places that he had promised to take her. They had still never gotten to Barcelona…perhaps she never would.

However, Rose immediately stopped smiling at the little joke when the Doctor suddenly turned on the Chameleon Arch and started screaming in pain, every speck of DNA rewriting itself. Despite her attempts to remain calm, tears streamed down her cheeks, knowing that she couldn't really help him, as she was forced to watch the Doctor writhe in pain in a desperate attempt to keep them both safe.

…

"Mum! Come help me!" Rose called out as she attempted to drag the human - and now unconscious - Doctor out of the TARDIS. Thankfully, the ship had landed in a warehouse behind the Powell Estate.

"What's wrong with him?" Jackie asked as she helped carry the man into her flat and lay him down on the couch that was much too short for his tall, lanky frame. He was pale and looked as if he had been tortured recently. His shirt was stuck to his chest and his normally spikey hairdo was matted down against his forehead. Rose grimaced – there was no way he could rest comfortably like that.

"Mum, get a basin of cool water and a couple of washcloths and towels for me, would you please?" she asked, knowing her mother would help whether she liked the Doctor or not. "I'm going to run and get him a change of clothes out of the TARDIS." Rose also needed to get whatever instructions the TARDIS had come up with while she was at it. And, she really needed to keep moving. She needed to be doing something, anything really. Otherwise, the sight of the Doctor writhing and screaming in pain would make her break down into a sobbing heap that she wasn't certain she'd ever get out of and the Doctor needed her to be strong right now. Rose felt her body recoil and begin shivering. She swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in her throat. Then, with a determination borne of desperation, she ran back to the TARDIS. There was a recording on the monitor for her – she'd look at it later, knowing she couldn't handle anything more right now. She also grabbed a set of keys and a few sticky notes that the TARDIS had thankfully made for her detailing instructions. She'd look over those once the Doctor was settled and wasn't looking so miserable.

Digging out a spare set of clothes along with some of the more common medicines she knew that the Doctor would be able to take – he couldn't abide human medications, they might kill him as he was allergic to aspirin – she raced back to her mother's flat. Her mum was no slouch and had a pretty good idea of what Rose was planning on doing to help him. Jackie had moved the Doctor to Rose's bedroom, laying him on towels she'd spread out over the mattress. By the time Rose ran back in, the Doctor's other suit was hanging over the back of the door and he was clad only in his pants. The basin of water – cool with a few ice cubes in it to keep it from warming up too much – was sitting on Rose's nightstand. Jackie nodded to her daughter, giving her a look that demanded an explanation soon, and left Rose to wash the sweat off the alien's body. With a wince, a sigh, and a quick prayer that he would forgive her this intrusion into his personal space, Rose set about cleaning him off as she had when he'd collapsed after regenerating so long ago. Then she covered him with the light duvet, shut off the light, and carried the basin and washcloth to the bathroom. She took his soiled suit and decided that she'd run it to a dry cleaner's later so he could wear it again. For now, she wanted to check out the instructions the TARDIS had given her while she also explained, absent-mindedly, to her mother what had happened - how the Doctor had turned himself human to hide out and that he wouldn't be the same person anymore. Well he looked the same but it wasn't really him controlling the body anymore. Admonishing her mum to be polite and not to slap him no matter how rude he was, Rose stood up, tucked the keys from the TARDIS into her jacket pocket, straightened her shirt and trousers so she'd look halfway presentable, and began moving once more before the images could build in her mind again.

"What do I do if he wakes up?" Jackie mumbled as Rose flew out the door to execute the plan the TARDIS had masterfully created. First up was a stop at the local university, with the help of the physic paper, to explain that the human Doctor would make a great guest professor for physics. Also, there was a set of keys to what promised to be a nice flat in a rather wealthy part of the city that she would have to check out to make sure it was ready for habitation. However, that was all the TARDIS had told her. She had absolutely no clue if the human Doctor knew who she was and hoped she could make sure he didn't get into trouble and leave her. He had been quite emphatic about that point.

"Hello, I have this." Rose said, showing the person at the front desk of the administrative university the physic paper. The taxi she had taken waited for her just outside the doors. Rose was relieved she had happened to dress nicely this morning. It would not do well for her to wear a t-shirt and jeans if she was going to pull this off.

"Oh yes, we would be delighted to have John Smith as a professor, he sure does have the qualifications for it," The woman said after glancing at the physic paper. She handed Rose several forms and explaining that she needed to tell John to come in for his first day on Monday. Rose breathed out a sigh of relief now that she had a whole weekend to figure out how she fit into the human Doctor's life.

Grinning to herself in triumph, Rose got back into the taxi, her first checkmark ticked on her long list of duties she made her way to the flat, feeling all posh and a bit overwhelmed as she watched the familiar city fly past her.

She smiled politely at the doorman as she passed by him by, trying her best to look for all the world as if she belonged here. This apartment complex was so posh it actually had a _doorman_. Rose giggled out loud as she entered the fancy elevator and rode up to the eighth floor, hoping that the Doctor, or John Smith she supposed she should call him now, knew her enough so that she could spend some time hanging out with him in what she hoped would be a very nice flat.

"Geez, the TARDIS did well." Rose sighed as she unlocked the correct door, stepping into the large foyer. After she finished staring at the elegant entry way that was lit by a large crystal chandelier, Rose made her way around the large flat, wondering why John Smith would need so many rooms by himself.

Studying the flat with a small frown of concentration, Rose was pulled from her thoughts by her phone ringing while she searched the kitchen. A trip to the grocers' as well as the clothing stores would be in order. Glancing at the phone, she grimaced. It was her mother calling her.

"What is it now?" Rose asked, surprised when she heard Jackie's voice filled with panic.

"Rose, he woke up. He woke _up_ , what should I do? Does he even know who I am?" Jackie gasped, whispering that she was hiding in the small kitchen as the man began to walk around the flat like he was used to the layout.

"I told you his name is John Smith, Mum," Rose explained, pretending like she was calmer than her mother. "I don't know anything about him yet either. Just pretend like he was drunk the night before and ask him to tell you everything about his life to ensure that he's sobered up now. Make a game out of it or something so it isn't suspicious," Rose suggested, glad that she would soon find out about the man as her mother hung up on her to talk to John and Rose rushed to the shops to get everything the man would need.

…

Half a day later, after Rose had finally finished making the apartment livable and believable with the necessities, she was relieved to see that her mum was calling her again.

"What did he say, Mum?" Rose asked, wondering why her mother hadn't called back until now. She hoped he would remember her so she could ensure that he got back to his posh flat safe and sound. She sure did want to have time to grab a quick shower before she had to go see him. The small of her back ached rather badly and she was slightly sweaty from all of the shopping, putting things in their proper place, and cleaning the flat up. Her feet ached so much that she just longed to crawl into her own bed on the TARDIS and sleep for the rest of the day.

"Rose, I think you should sit down for this. John is making me tea now. But you better head over now because I told him that you were," Jackie said, wondering how to break the news to her daughter.

"Mum? What did he _say_ though?"

"His name is John Smith like you said, he is a professor of physics and seems like a perfectly polite man towards me, unlike the Doctor. He moved here a few days ago to get a new job…with his wife."

Rose was silent for a moment before she responded again. " _Wife_? How can he possibly have a wife?"

"He thinks he is married to _you_!" Jackie squealed. "Rose Smith I guess your name is now. The story that he told me is that you two met at University and have been married for almost a year. He doesn't like the fact that you have a job, but you don't care and work at a café even though he's _more_ capable of supporting you both. So it seems like he is quite wealthy."

"I'll see you soon," Rose whispered into the phone, trying to blink the tears out of her eyes as she thought of how difficult these three months would be. Although the new Doctor was much more of a flirt than before and she knew that she loved him, she knew they could never have that kind of relationship…and now she would have to be married to the man that used to be _him_. She reached into her pocket and ran her fingers over the fob watch that contained the Doctor. When he came back in three whole months, he was going to have a _hell_ of a lot of explaining to do.

…

Rose took a deep breath before she walked into the familiar flat of the Powell Estate. She had absolutely no idea how she was supposed to act or say, but she mustered up the courage and walked inside with a smile plastered onto her panicked face.

"Where have you been, sweetheart?" John, her supposed _husband_ , said with a strange combination of worry and delight. "Way to drop me off at your mothers like that. Though she sure is acting strange today," he mumbled in an undertone so like the Doctor that her heart jerked in her chest as he flashed her a cheeky grin.

Rose didn't know how to respond to the stranger that looked so much like the Doctor, so she just settled down in the chair next to him at the table, glaring as her Mum went into the kitchen to get her a mug of tea as well.

"John, I need to talk to Rose for a moment in private, would you mind?" Jackie asked, eyeing her daughter as she pulled her into her bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"What do I do, Mum?" Rose gasped the moment the door closed, finally able to properly freak out in public. Tears quickly sprang to her hazel eyes. She was going to have it out with the TARDIS over this for sure! Jackie just stood there, halfway grinning at her daughter as Rose began to wonder why her mother was acting so fine about this situation.

"Be a wife to him, I suppose," Jackie grinned, her eyes holding back laughter. "You will be fine. It's only three months," Jackie added, thinking about the fact that she knew Rose so well. It was obvious that Rose was in love with the Doctor, and hoped this wouldn't hurt her daughter, even if it was for the best.

Rose huffed, annoyed by the nonchalance answer. "I've never been married before, Mum. I have no idea what he will expect."

"It'll just come naturally for you I assume," Jackie answered much to her daughters chagrin. "You're in love with the Doctor. That's why this is so hard for you?"

"Thanks, just _thanks_ for the advice." Rose whispered sarcastically, ignoring her mother's question. With a final huff, Rose opened the door and walking up behind John, deciding she should go to the posh flat that she apparently lived in now. Since John thought they just moved here it made perfect sense that their flat wasn't completely set up yet.

John turned when she came in, smiling at her as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled something out with a flourish. "I found this in my pocket; why weren't you wearing it?" he asked, his soft brown eyes appearing a tad hurt and confused.

"Oh, you know how I am with cleaning. I gave it to you so I wouldn't lose it last night while I was cleaning the place and I just forgot I guess," Rose easily lied, wondering why the Doctor had such a beautiful wedding ring with him in the first place as she shoved the ring onto her ring finger. It fit perfectly, as if the ring had been made specifically for her. Rose's stomach suddenly lurched and her heart began to flutter as the reality of the situation sunk in. Glancing at his left hand, she noticed a gold band encircling his ring finger as well.

"You want to go shopping for some new clothes for the rest of the day, right?" John questioned, nodding at her tight-lipped smile. "Well then, I'm going to go home and get some more things ready while you do that," he suggested, lightly brushing a kiss on her forehead. She just remained silent and nodded, the silly smile still on her face, and hugged her mother tightly before she left the safety of the council estates'.

…

Rose, carrying more bags than she had ever had before in a single shopping trip, supposed she could feel guilty about spending so much money on such beautiful clothes, but shoved the thought to the back of her mind as she remembered that she had to act the role of John's wife and needed new clothes. Plus, John had told her to get whatever she wanted as he handed her his credit card, explaining how unfortunate it was that her suitcase had been lost with almost all of her clothes a few days ago. Well, if she was going to act the part she'd have to look it as well.

"Hello?" Rose called out as she unlocked the door of her new apartment, wondering what John could possibly be doing. If he was anything like the Doctor all the appliances would be dismantled for an upgrade.

"In the study," he called back, his voice echoing through the cavernous flat. "Thanks for buying us food earlier by the way, I guess I forgot we needed that," John added in. Rose walked into the study, a beautiful room filled with books, and gaped. John looked _exactly_ like the Doctor as he lounged at his desk reading a thick, leather-bound tome.

"I'm just going to put this new stuff I bought in the closet," Rose replied, hefting up one of the bags she had sat down. She walked through the flat to the bedroom, trying to ignore the fact that it was one they would be sharing and then stepped into the huge walk-in closet. She was somewhat surprised and a little miffed that John already had clothing and, with a pang that nearly brought tears to her eyes, noticed he still had a liking for suits by the large supply that hung there. Apparently he had gone shopping today as well.

As Rose was hanging the clothes, she felt John walk in behind her. "What all did you buy?" he asked in a curious tone, more than a hint of a smile evident in his voice. "Why don't you show it to me?" Rose almost gasped in surprise when she felt John walk up behind her and wrap his arms around her, burying his face against her neck and lightly kissing it.

"No, not now," Rose exclaimed, trying to stop herself from blushing when John leaned over and pulled out a piece of lingerie from one of the bags. Rose just gaped at it in shock. She had basically forgotten about _that_ bag in particular. She'd gotten it at her mother's constant insistence over the phone that John would be confused if she just _didn't_ have anything like that in her closet. Her heart began racing as she thought of all the things he would expect from her as his _wife_. Absently worrying her lower lip with her teeth, she grimaced, relieved that her face would turned away from him, as she supposed she would have to eventually. She just hoped the Doctor understood since it was _his own_ fault that John even thought they were married in the first place.

"Fine, but tonight you can show me," he whispered with a somewhat salacious grip, holding the garment a bit longer before finally setting it aside. "I made reservations for us," John explained as he left the room, leaving Rose practically banging her head against the wall in frustration.

 **Let me know how the story is going thus far! I love feedback of any sort.**

 **I will be updating this story at least once a week just FYI.**

 **Anyway review and I'll give you cookies,**

 **Gabrielle**


	2. Awkward Situations

**Here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy it and I apologize if this story seems slow moving at the beginning. This chapter diverges from the original and many of them will after this, only the beginning was almost exactly the same.**

 **Read on and don't forget to review at the end.**

Awkward Situations

"Wow, this is quite… _posh_ …" Rose mumbled as John led her into the fancy restaurant he had made reservations at. At her words, he smiled in delight, failing to pick up her discomfort. Rose just sighed, maybe this was what he thought she expected from him. He certainly had stayed true to his words that their first night together in London with their flat would be one to remember. She shoved the memory of the way his eyes had flashed and waggled his eyebrows at her in such a way that made her think back to the Doctor promising her that _this_ trip wouldn't end up with them running for their lives once again… Honestly, she _should_ have expected this when he had gotten all dressed up in a tux that just so happened to make her jaw drop just a bit and force her resolve about getting close to him physically to waver. After seeing him dressed up so nicely, she had decided to wear one of her new dresses, surprised that she already had an occasion to wear it. In order to distract herself from all of the temptations, Rose had busied herself and actually had fun getting ready for their date. She was already in love with the dark blue dress she had bought herself. It had such intricate and elaborate beading on the front that she wondered if she would ever get the chance to wear it out. That was until she had seen John in a tuxedo. Then she had decided she would match him in formality no matter what. After all, she was his _wife_ for what looked to be very confusing three months, she couldn't act like he was a stranger to her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you like the restaurant?" John asked, looking just adorable with his concerned face. He seemed awfully confused as to why Rose seemed so uncomfortable whenever he spent any money on her. It had never been a problem between them before. He continued to stare at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely today. She hadn't acted this nervous around him since they had first started dating. Well, to his memories that is.

"You know, you definitely don't have to do all of this for me," Rose sighed, resuming her nervous position of chewing her lower lip. John just smiled at her sweet distress, as if he simply loved looking at her. "I don't deserve all the pomp and circumstance," Rose whispered in a hoarse voice as they sat down at their table that was prepared for them and a waiter almost immediately appeared with a bottle of the restaurant's finest wine.

John just smiled at her, his eyes simply glowing with pleasure, as she looked around her fancy surroundings that she had never experienced before. In all her life, she was sure she had never been to this expensive of a restaurant before and this wasn't even an anniversary of birthday. Rose was suddenly very curious as to what sort of activities they got up to on their honeymoon. A faint blush crept up her face as she thought of the _activities_ that he probably recalled. Her traitor mind wondered how soon he would want a repeat. "How can you say that, Rose?" he lightly chuckled while he poured her a glass of wine, appearing at his element. "I know that this isn't our anniversary, but I want to celebrate tonight anyway. It'll be a new anniversary of us in a new city. You have been so _so_ wonderful about coming back here and all the drama that entailed. You are simply wonderful, Rose Tyler Smith, and I _never_ want you to forget that."

Rose smiled shyly, not used to such blatant compliments. She sipped the wine, finding it much better than the cheap wine she usually drank, and glanced at the menu. "Umm, should I know what to order?" Rose asked, hoping her face wasn't as red as it felt. After all, the menu was in French and the prices were so high she had to hide her shock.

"I'll order us both snails," John answered, dissolving into laughter at Rose's disgusted face. "I'll order you something with chicken that I'm sure you'll like. You trust me, right?" he asked, sounding so much like the Doctor at that moment that Rose almost burst into tears then and there. This whole day had been a roller coaster ride for her and she just wanted to go to bed and wake up on the TARDIS with the Doctor.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Rose interrupted, needing a minute alone to maintain her control again.

The moment the door closed behind her, Rose let out a breath she had been holding all day. Yes, it was worse than she had expected. She couldn't imagine only this morning she had been relaxing on the beach with the Doctor, no idea that they'd be separated for three months. Well, his body was here, but John Smith was surely not the same man. Staring at her pale face in the mirror, Rose made a decision. She had promised the Doctor, trusted him, and she wasn't going to disappoint him. So from now on she was going to imagine that John was completely separate from the Doctor, almost like a long lost twin. She needed to accept that the man waiting for her at the table was not her best friend. But that didn't mean she had to make both of their lives terrible these next few months. Yes, she would get to know him as John, not a sad copy of the Doctor. Though Rose didn't really know John that well yet, she sensed he was a genuinely good man who thought he loved her. Rose knew what it was like to be left behind and she couldn't do that to him. So, she finally decided as she took one last look at herself in the mirror, she would be John's best friend the same way she was for the Doctor.

Returning to the table, Rose arrived at the same time as the waiter. As she sat back down, she observed John ordering in fluent French out of the corner of her eye. There was no way to deny that she found the language rolling off his tongue appealing. She always yearned to hear the Doctor speaking a different language, but since the TARDIS always translated, it always sounded like English to her. Once, before the Doctor changed his face, she had asked him what Gallifreyan sounded like. He had never answered her, just brushed it off and suggested a new time and place to discover.

"Are you okay?" John asked once the waiter left, obviously realizing that she was upset. Apparently she didn't have as good of a poker face as she thought. "I thought you were excited about moving back to London," he continued when Rose didn't contradict him. "I know we planned to move here right after we got married and we are a bit delayed, but I think it was a good decision to come here so you could see you mother more and I could get a higher up position at the University," he didn't pause in his ramble, reminding her of the Doctor and causing her face to fall even more. "I've already paid rent for three months on the flat, so we could wait until then to decide if we want to move somewhere else. I know a few colleagues who are up in Glasgow, they'd put in a good word for me and we could go up there instead."

"It isn't," Rose mumbled, staring at the untouched bread-sticks in the middle of the table. "It isn't the same anymore," she answered honestly, referring truthfully to how different it was to be around John the human instead of Doctor the Time Lord.

Obviously taking her words to be literal about their recent transition to London, John started rambling again. "We could go back to Cambridge," he propositioned, obviously referring to his false memories of where they had met. "Is this because you haven't found a job you like yet in London? Because we just got here and you know you don't have to work. I don't want to fight about it right now, but you know how I feel about that," John paused, raising his eyebrow when Rose just looked down at the table. "We could even go traveling for a few months if you wanted, I know you mentioned you would love to see more and our honeymoon was only two weeks. It could be a first anniversary holiday," there was a long moment of tense silence. "Come on, you have to give me some feedback, Rose," John finally finished, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"I like it here," Rose lied, actually preferring the TARDIS. "I love our flat and I think you'll enjoy your new job here. I wasn't insinuating that I wanted anything to drastically change, Doc - John," Rose clipped off the rest of the word, cursing herself for calling him the wrong name. "Everything has changed drastically enough recently."

Not noticing the name slip, John reached over the table and put his hand over hers, brushing comforting circles on her palm. "What did I do to upset you then, love?" John questioned, his brown eyes filled with such concern that it hurt her. All he wanted was to make her happy and it tore his single heart and soul that she wasn't right now. "You haven't been yourself all day."

Rose closed her hazel eyes and gathered up all of her feeble strength to resist the temptation to tell him everything so that he could make it better like he was trying to. He was so like – and also so _unlike_ – the Doctor that she just needed him. "Nothing, you did nothing wrong wrong, nothing at all," Rose whispered, unable to stop a small sob from escaping out of her throat as John tightened his grip on her hand. She was just overwhelmed by how drastically everything had suddenly changed for her. In less than a day she had gone from being just a stupid shop girl who didn't even take her A-levels and traveled the universe with an alien – the same alien that she had stupidly fallen in love with - to being this rich human's wife whom he absolutely adored. What was worse was that they looked _exactly_ the same and she couldn't help but imagine it was the Doctor in front of her and behaving like he was in love with her.

"Let's get you back home, love," John suggested, but Rose immediately shook her head and said she didn't want to go back home yet and they had already ordered, it would be stupid to leave now. Plus she was sure she was acting inappropriate for a posh restaurant like this and didn't want to give John any more reasons to end up hating her.

"But you said you had something planned after this," Rose finished, trying to ignore how John was fiddling with his wedding ring. Rose prayed he would take her drastic emotions as simply being tired from the move, not understanding the warmth of his part. Part of her yearned for memories of a full accounting of their time together so she knew how to act – how to be John Smith's _wife_. However, the rest of her wanted to believe that this was a machination of the Doctor's and that, underneath the facade of the human John Smith, he loved her just as much as she loved him. "I really am fine," she lied with a forced smile.

John seemed to accept her feeble excuse, obviously looking forward to whatever he had planned next for their 'first day living in London celebration' as he had dubbed it. He badgered her a bit, clearly wanting to please her, until their food came. Just as she had expected, there was not a large serving of some food she couldn't pronounce. Although she was hesitant at first, she found herself enjoying whatever John had ordered her, though she refused to try whatever was on his plate. As they leisurely ate, she forced herself to focus as she listened to John tell her about how thrilled he was to have his new teaching job, and as much as she didn't want to she found herself thinking his enthusiasm was quite adorable. His face lit up and his eyes, his mercurial eyes, glinted with a delighting mix of pleasure and happiness as he went on and on. One thing that was for sure was that John had inherited more than a bit of the Doctor's gob.

After they had finished eating dinner, and John payed more for a tip than she ever had for a full meal, he ushered her out the door to a waiting taxi. Worn out from the day already, Rose welcomed John's comforting arm around her, closing her eyes and leaning against his chest as the taxi drove to a 'mysterious location'. Trying not to be obvious, Rose took a large sniff of John, surprised by how even his smell had changed with the Chameleon Arch. Unlike the Doctor who smelled like a strange mix of books, bananas, and what she presumed to be time, John smelled like faint citrus and spices. Slightly muffled by his chest, Rose mumbled on about all she had done that day, surprised John seemed interested with her mundane tasks.

It wasn't long before the taxi stopped and they got out in front of an older movie theater in a part of London she was more familiar with. "Now _this_ is much more my style," Rose proclaimed with a nervous giggle, taking in the surprisingly long line in front of the box office. "And what are we seeing here?" Rose asked, standing on her toes as she tried to see over the tall people huddled in front of her.

"They are playing that old Alfred Hitchcock film you like," John answered, grinning much like the Cheshire cat as he recounted how much she loved going to vintage theaters and films, and how he had seen a sign advertising the theater earlier.

And that was a fact John had right, Rose did love this. She rewarded him with a wide smile as John grasped her hand firmly in his. As they waited for their tickets, Rose glanced at the people around them. Surely they thought she and John were just a posh couple from their attire, never imagining the secrets they held. If she didn't over think it that was exactly what it was, simple. But, then again, she doubted her life could ever be simple after she decided to go on a trip with an alien in a blue box.

"Do you want popcorn?" John asked once they were inside and seated in the old velvet chairs, breaking Rose out of her distracted thoughts. "I know we just came from dinner, but it is tradition, right?"

"The fact that you even had to ask is disappointing," Rose teased, smirking up at John as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek and got up to go buy the snack.

Glancing around once more, Rose imagined what would happen if she saw anyone she knew. How could she explain this? The back of her mind offered her the rewarding scenario of Jimmy Stone walking in and seeing Rose married and presumably happy.

A few minutes later, back with the buttery popcorn, Rose didn't even mind the way John's arm automatically went to rest around her, his fingers tracing lightly over her shoulder. "What brought all of this on?" Rose whispered to John as she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth and they settled down in the darkened room. As if on cue, the cheesy music from the 1950s filled the room. "You know, being such a doting husband?" she asked, adding a teasing tone to her voice so he wouldn't read too much into her question.

"Nothing," he happily replied, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in as close as possible with the armrest between them. "I just want to start making new memories with my wife at our new home," John whispered, running a finger up and down her arm and sighing happily when Rose rested her head on his shoulder.

…

"Tonight was lovely, thanks so much," Rose murmured as they sat in the back of a taxi on their way back to their flat. Although she had felt uncomfortable at first at the expensive restaurant, she had really enjoyed the evening out with John. It felt so strangely comfortable, like she really was his wife. She hated to admit it, but there were times when Rose imagined he was just the Doctor with her. But then John went and said something that was completely human or looked at her with adoration and she knew she could never have _this_ with the Time Lord.

Once inside the more-than-spacious flat, Rose hurried to the master bedroom after throwing off her coat, recalling why she wanted to put off coming home earlier. Suddenly hyper-aware of John's presence in the doorway, she forcefully kicked off her uncomfortable, but very pretty, shoes. Without turning around, she announced that she was going to go take a hot shower, praying that John would not follow. Thankfully he didn't even attempt to, flopping down onto the bed himself as he slowly unknotted his bow tie, staring blankly at the ceiling. Finally in the shower peacefully alone, Rose leaned against the cool tiles and fought back tears, wondering _how_ she would survive the next three months being John Smith's _wife_. She knew how easy it would be to relax into life with John, a life that she could never ever have with the Doctor, a life she never knew she wanted until today. Tonight had shown her how happy she could be with him, how familiar he really was to her. Although she loved traveling with the Doctor, Rose sometimes wished that he wouldn't be so secretive and brooding with her at times. That he would lower his guard and let her in, tell her about the War so she could help him. Sometimes, it was as if he put up a wall against her and, no matter what she did, the barricade would _never_ fall.

"Rose, you've been in there quite a while, everything okay?" John called out behind the closed door, causing Rose to jump as she realized she had probably been in the shower for more than half an hour just thinking and making sense of everything. After all, she had been acting odd all day, who knows what he thought. Maybe he was guessing that she was just worn out from the move. Or, perhaps that she had fallen and hit her head, inhaled a strange blend of chemicals while she was cleaning…

Shaking her head again, Rose made a quickly reply, thankful that he left her in peace to finish showering. She really was exhausted, that wasn't a lie. It had been a mentally and physically exhausting day, making sure everything was perfect for him – so that he wouldn't notice anything was amiss.

Minutes later, Rose came out of the bathroom, the towel draped around her body like armor, cursing the fact that she had carelessly forgotten to bring clothes with her. She was calculating the best way to bolt to the closet when John, still halfway dressed in his tux, came up to casually stand next to her, nudging her shoulder with a devilish smirk on his face.

"Are you sure you want to get dressed right now? It seems like a bit of a waste…" John whispered, obviously noticing her gaze turned towards the open closet doors. Spinning around to face her, his fingers trailed down her collarbones until they paused right above her towel, obviously meaning to unhook it. Trying to remember how to breathe, Rose playfully smacked his hand away as he leaned down and kissed down her neck, oblivious how Rose had frozen. "After all, we do have a lovely, large new bed that we have yet to use," he added in a husky tone, pulling her flush against himself. "What do you say about breaking it in?" he added before he kissed her soundly.

Alarm sensors going off inside her head as John deepened the kiss and she opened her mouth for him, Rose realized in the back of her mind this was the first time she had properly snogged the Doctor. Well, not really _him_ , but these lips anyway. Eyes closed, Rose chanted in her head that this was _not_ the Doctor, but John. And, she rationalized, she did really want to be kissing John right at this moment for being so perfect all night, not the Doctor. So, promising herself she would put up boundaries later, Rose allowed her hands to get tangled up in John's hair. His really great hair that she had fantasized about running her hands through. However, when she became aware of John's gently nudging towards the bed and how low his hands had wandered, she begrudgingly pulled back from him.

"Not tonight, I'm just really tired," Rose whispered once she got her voice back, lightly pushing back against his shoulders so he would take a step away from her. Shivering at the sudden lack of his touch, Rose knew that she couldn't do this. Not now. Not _tonight_. Not ever. She just didn't have it in her. She wasn't immune, of course she wanted to let the fantasy continue. But, in the morning, she knew she would feel wrong about using the Doctor's body when he wasn't fully in control. She and the Doctor's physical relationship was so innocent and she cherished that. Rose loved the Doctor and, at times, thought the feeling was reciprocated. Maybe it was just the Time Lord's way of moving so slow and being cautious, scared he would lose her. All they needed from each other was a hand to hold, an occasional cuddle, and a chaste kiss now and then.

"Rose," John murmured, brushing her wet hair out of her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her lightly again, not noticing how she was pulling away from him. His hands trailed down her back in a somewhat possessive and intimate manner. Rose could feel goose bumps prickling her even underneath her towel. "Are you sure you're okay?" when she didn't answer, John added a few words. "Are we okay?"

With a halfhearted motion, she pushed him away from her again, glaring at the floor so she wouldn't have to see his face. "Of course everything's okay," Rose said, turning and practically running to the closet before he could respond, closing the door with a bang behind her. With her back against the door, she sat on the floor with her head between her knees, drawing in deep gasps of air. She was quite dizzy and confused at the feelings that had arisen within her. Rose wasn't going to lie to herself and say she didn't want to let his actions take their course. She just didn't know what the Doctor would think about her later. If he was conscious in some way inside John, she didn't even want to imagine how mortified she would be. She was sure she couldn't bear it if he never looked at her, smiled at her, or held her the way he had ever since he regenerated. Panic flared within her at the thought of the Doctor suddenly leaving her behind, abandoning her, the same way her had left Sarah Jane so very long ago. That would kill her, she knew it would.

"Rose, I'm sorry," John apologized through the door. Rose could just imagine running a hand through his always messy hair as he waited outside the closet door, too much of a gentleman to open the door himself. Knowing she couldn't stay in the closet all night, Rose threw on the most unappealing pajamas she could find, hoping to stave him off for at least tonight. "Can't you talk to me?" John asked, taking a few steps back as Rose pushed the door open.

"Nothing is wrong, sweetheart," she murmured, hiding her emotions just like the Doctor always had, standing on her tiptoes in order to brush a light kiss against his cheek. After all, she wasn't really _mad_ at him and didn't want him to worry. "I'm just tired and sore from the move, that's all. I want to go to bed and simply _sleep_ right now," Rose explained, enunciating the word sleep. Stepping past John, she rubbed the small of her back, a little too dramatically, as she made her way towards the bed, playing up how sore she was. Still avoiding directly looking at John, Rose flopped down heavily onto the fluffy bed, hoping she had picked the right side. Rose was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief when she heard John mumble that he was going to go shower himself and would come back to bed after that. She just hoped she would be sound asleep by then. She wasn't confident that she would be able to resist John Smith – who was so much like the Doctor and so _unlike_ him as well – if she was still awake when he climbed into bed with her.

…

"What is on the agenda for this fine day?" Rose asked as she walked into the kitchen fully dressed the next morning, trying to act like nothing odd had happened the night before. When she saw John Smith, already dressed and sitting at the table, eating a _pear, s_ he flashed her usual grin with her tongue sticking between her teeth. Instead of knocking it out of his hands like the Doctor would've wanted, Rose just smirked and let him eat it. This was some of the punishment that the Doctor deserved for giving her _no_ warning that she would have to act the part of his _wife_ for three whole months.

"I was planning on going to my office and getting some other stuff set up at the University today. That way I am more prepared for when I start on Monday," he quickly replied, clearly more informed about his new job than she was. The TARDIS had done a good job with that one. "I mean, unless you want me to be home today?" John questioned as he got up and, to Rose's surprise, began to make her a cuppa. That in itself was something that the Doctor would have never even thought to do because it was too _domestic_. She wasn't sure if John was being so sweet because he thought she was mad at him or if this was just how he always was.

"No, you go have your fun," Rose answered, glancing down at the paper he had been reading. "I think I will pop in to see Mum today," she murmured, still in a bit of a shock at the thought that the Doctor – even if he was human now and John Smith – making her _tea_.

Not long after having a perfectly pleasant breakfast, John departed from the flat. There was one awkward moment of his obvious frustration when he had gone in to kiss her goodbye and Rose moved her head so that he only kissed her cheek. She imagined him taking her head into his hands and kissing her until her knees were weak, dragging her back to the bedroom for a long while. Instead, she had just made a stupid joke, grinning at him with her tongue between her teeth, reminding him that he was already running late on his personal schedule.

Rose, practically running out the door once he was gone, made her way to her mum's flat as quickly as possible, eager to get her mother's advice about how to survive married life. After all, she supposed that Jackie had been married for several years before Pete Tyler, Rose's father, had died. Certainly _she_ could offer up some good advice on how to handle a _husband_. And, if Rose was being honest, she was glad she would get to see her mother on a more regular basis for a few months. They had been together almost constantly until Rose had ran off traveling with the Doctor and she missed how close they were. Although the Doctor let her visit as often as she wanted, she could tell that he preferred going on their adventures and would get antsy if he had to sit around the flat too long.

"Mum?" Rose practically groaned the moment Jackie opened the door, relieved to see her mother. Jackie moved to sit on the couch, a small, knowing smile on the corner of her a word, Rose sat down next to her mother as she waited for her to say something or distract her.

"What are you doing here, sweetheart?" Jackie innocently questioned as Rose sat down. Jackie cast a look at the doorway. "And where's himself?"

"I mean, how am I going to act like this _stranger's_ wife?"

"He isn't like the Doctor at all?" Jackie asked, surprised at Rose's words. "At least he looks like _him_. Seems just as smart too, though much more pleasant to be around, or that's what I think anyway. You know, he actually _complimented_ me and wasn't at all rude like he usually is," Jackie murmured, rambling on about how she maybe preferred the human Doctor.

"It's weird," Rose groaned, ignoring her mother. "Most of the time he is completely different from the Doctor, but every once in a while he says or does something that is exactly what the Doctor would have," Rose explained, wondering how she would be able to keep her feelings for both men separate. Although she was fighting it, Rose was already finding remnants of the Doctor in John Smith, as well as unique aspects that she couldn't help but adore as well. All in all, she was confused. John was sort of the Doctor, so she loved him by default.

"But Mum, what am I going to _do_? I mean, he obviously expects us to…" she stopped, alluding to what was worrying her the most right now.

Jackie snickered for a moment at her daughter's innocent words before she responded. "Rose Tyler, stop being such a prude about it. I'm sure the Doctor won't mind. Who knows? Maybe it would give him a new perspective on…things."

"Mum! How can you say something like that to your only daughter?" Rose gasped, brushing bright red as she hid her face in her hands. This was not what she had expected when she imagined coming to her mother for advice.

"I mean, you and the Doctor have…you know…honestly, I don't want to know what the two of you get up to in that blue box of his…" Jackie muttered, suppressing the urge to shiver in disgust.

"No! Of course we haven't!" Rose angrily protested. "Why would you ever even think that? The Doctor is so closed off about relationships and emotions and stuff like that…we've never even snogged," Rose grimaced, remembering the few special times when she and the Doctor had ended up on a planet where they simply _had_ to kiss for one reason or another. It never turned into a snog though, the Doctor was always sure to pull away quick enough.

Jackie was silent for a while before she responded again. "Well then, maybe that will change when he turns back to himself again, yeah? Sweetheart, you can't spend your whole life waiting for the Doctor to look at you," Jackie said with a sad smile. Then, not noticing the irony of the situation, went back to the topic of John Smith. "You two are still young and haven't been married all that long – all things considered. It is simply inevitable! You are sharing a bed, aren't you?" Jackie asked, continuing when Rose hesitantly nodded. "That's settled then, you can't just go three months without it."

"I can't believe my mother just told me to shag someone I've really only known for a day!" Rose cried out as she stood up. Casting about for a quick change of topic, she suggested and her mother do something else for the rest of the day while John was at his office. Rose desperately needed to take her mind off the confusing situation at hand and sitting here wasn't helping.

After a day shopping and eating nicer meals than either of them were accustomed to, Jackie was quite happy that the Doctor's human form had quite a large amount of cash and could get the most out of the situation while he was here. She rationalized it by saying that the Time Lord always claimed to have no money, making Rose foot the bill when they were on Earth. Jackie knew Rose was judging her for using the money to buy new clothes, but her daughter enjoyed treating her Mum to the nice things she had been deprived of most of her life.

…

Rose, having spent much more time than she usually would have in the kitchen at their flat, was quite pleased with what she had fashioned for dinner. Jackie had given her a recipe for shepherd's pie, urging her to practice being domestic for once. before John returned home from whatever he had been doing.

"What is all of this?" John exclaimed when he walked through the door and smelled the pleasant aroma of a home-cooked meal. "I can count the number of times you've cooked for me on one hand.

"Well, what would we ever eat then?" Rose said, pretending like she was joking but in actuality trying to get more information about their married life from her new, well to _her_ anyway, husband. She really did need more info if she was expected to continue the facade for three months. Perhaps the Doctor had left her some more guidelines in the TARDIS, she would have to go check tomorrow.

"I cook sometimes," John admitted with a wince. "Weeeeeell," he said, grinning and drawling out the word in a way that made Rose's stomach churn and her heart flip, "I can make eggs, but we usually order in or go out…" he trailed off with a hint of a smile on his lips. "The last time you tried to cook right after we got married you almost caught the whole house on fire," John laughed as Rose presented him with better food than she had ever prepared for him before.

After eating the nice dinner together, Rose was perfectly comfortable with sitting with John as he told her about what he had done that day and how eager he was for the next week of teaching at his new job. It was so domestic Rose was

"Are you happy with me, John?" Rose whispered , leaning closer to him on the couch. She had been mulling the question over in her mind all evening, not entirely sure what to expect from married life. Was this what domesticity was supposed to be like? Was this what he expected from her? Was this enough for the man who shared a face with an alien who never stopped running?

"That is out of the blue," John retorted, the confusion at her asking such a question so abruptly evident in his voice. "Of course I am happy with you Rose, why would you even ask that," John paused, reading Rose's face. "Is something wrong? Are you not happy with me anymore?"

"Don't overreact," Rose sighed. It was just like the Doctor. The Doctor also went on a torrent of panic when she asked an unexpected question. "I didn't mean it like that in the slightest, don't freak out. I was only just asking John, like overall?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You make me a better man and I don't deserve you," he sighed, presumably perfectly content with her. "I feel like I have loved you forever and I _never_ want to let you go. I mean that is obvious; it's why we got married in the first place," he smiled, remembering the day they'd married. "So stop worrying about whatever is on your mind and just know that I love you," John whispered, leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips. Rose managed to bite back a sob when he said he loved her, thinking that she would never hear those words come out of the Doctor's mouth.

"Thank you, John," Rose said, feeling her heart tearing in two directions as she thought of how much time she had left with her 'husband' John, and the rest of _forever_ she had promised to the Doctor.

 **Poor Rose. Why does John have to go and be so adorable?!**

 **Any thoughts on this chapter? Is Rose being reasonable and believable after the emotional first day with John?**

 **Tell me what you think in a review and I'll love you.**

 **Thanks for the support and reading,**

 **Gabrielle**


	3. Settling into Life

**Another chapter! You guys better be thankful, I was busy this week. Once again this chapter is more set up for the next, but I think it is essential to show Rose's transition into being John's wife. Also I just rewatched the Human Nature ark and it was better than I remembered! Favorite episode status reinstated.**

 **Hope you enjoy and please review with your thoughts!**

Settling into Life

For the next three weeks, life slowly but surely trudged on as Rose tried to keep pace with everything that was happening around her. And a lot had happened since the Doctor had turned himself human. As much as she tried not to, Rose was beginning to rather enjoy this new life, much more than she should. Rose was very aware that it couldn't last forever because the Doctor would come back, he had to. She wanted him back. She cared for John Smith, maybe some part of her even loved him, but she needed the Doctor. The world needed him for too much for her to indulge her wishes.

"Rose, you need to get up now, you have to work today," John said, leaning over and kissing her to wake her up as he began to get ready for work himself. The first time John had kissed her in place of an alarm, Rose had almost panicked. She kissed John, knew she had to and she wanted to as well. But she was always careful to draw a line, to limit the number of kisses and make sure they stayed relatively chaste. So waking up kissing John had almost been too much at first. But she was used to the morning ritual now, was sometimes the highlight of her morning.

Rose peeked through one slightly-bleary hazel eye, observing how adorable John was in the morning. It was when she cared for him the most, with his hair all on end and his own slightly unfocused soft brown eyes, waking her up with a gentle kiss every morning without fail. He was the picture of domestication and she adored it, annoyed that the Doctor had ever used the word in a negative light. It took all of her self-control not to just throw herself at him right then. Still, Rose resisted the temptation as her rational mind quickly took over from sleep-mode and she told herself to stop like she always did.

However, this morning in particular, Rose decided that her rational mind could wait a few minutes to be completely operational. After all, it was Friday. It was hard work being on Earth again, so she had to take advantage of the positive aspects. Already halfway to the bathroom to get ready, Rose called out to him. "John, I'm not awake yet," she called out coyly.

Closing her eyes and leaning back against her pillows, it only took a few moments until John's lips were ghosting across hers. Sighing, she leaned up a bit, fully pressing her lips against John's before he could step away again. Feeling his lips smile against her, Rose let his hands burrow into her sleep-tousled blonde hair, pulling him even closer against her. With a slight yank on his t-shirt, Rose urged John to climb back into bed with her, biting back a moan as she felt his surprisingly familiar weight above her. Placing a hand on the back of his neck to play with the fine hairs, Rose deepened the kiss, almost giggling at John's enthusiasm. He raised his head slightly a few minutes later, pulling away from her embrace. Rose was about to huff in annoyance at his sudden departure, but had to bite back a moan instead when John began nuzzling and kissing her neck. However, when she felt his cool hand confidently slip under her shirt and begin working to remove it as his lips found hers again, Rose tensed and pulled away, the line had been crossed.

"Oi, I have to get up and get ready," Rose murmured reluctantly, pretending as if she had just remembered that she had to work at the café today. John mumbled something against her neck and would his arms around her again. As reluctant as John was to part, Rose felt the same way and smiled at him. Attempting to disentangle herself from John's form, smirking at John's pathetic whine that they could both be a _little_ late for work, Rose finally managed to get John back on his side of the bed. Undeterred, John kissed her hard on the mouth in an almost-persuasive attempt to convince her to stay in the bed with him. Rose managed to extricate herself from him and waved him off, reminding him to go on and get ready for work himself. She'd get up in just another couple of minutes once she was fully awake, she promised him. She heard John muttering to himself, sounding distinctly annoyed and teasing, as he moved through the bedroom. Rose closed her eyes again, waiting for the sound of the door closing so she could trust herself to get up and go about her own preparations without John Smith standing there, tempting her to give in to him.

Knowing she couldn't postpone it any longer, Rose got up with a groan of annoyance and swung her legs out of the bed a few minutes after the door closed. Rose did truly enjoyed working during the day —once she was completely awake, that was - but in the mornings before she left for the café she despised her job because it kept her from sleeping in the way she had gotten accustomed to on the TARDIS. After a few moments and a short mental pep-talk to prepare herself for the day ahead of her, Rose stumbled, still half-asleep, into the bathroom to take a shower. She was sure that was the only thing that could wake her up though she knew she should set the temperature just a touch about "glacial" in order to snap her out of the longing to finally give in to the wild-haired, brown-eyed, and always well-dressed temptation that shared her life (and bed) now.

"Sorry!" Rose squealed out automatically when she pushed over the shower curtain, so lost in thought that she hadn't connected the dots when she heard the water already running. Instead she found herself face to face with a very naked and wet John Smith. She was _most_ definitely awake. She reluctantly wrenched her gaze away from him, her cheeks crimson in mortification, hoping he hadn't noticed how her eyes had trailed up and down his trim form. "Shit, I'm sorry!" she repeated as she turned, thankful she hadn't undressed before opening the curtain herself.

"Don't apologize, Rose!" John teased, unable to resist teasing her. "By all means come in and join me," John laughed. Rose just threw her hands over her eyes as her face grew even hotter, stammering out unneeded apologizes. While she slunk out of the bathroom she declared that she didn't really need a shower today anyway. But she really did now. A cold shower. A very, _very_ cold shower.

…

After the pleasurable and soon after awkward encounter with John that morning, Rose had successfully made it to her job just in time and settled into another relaxing day at work. It had only taken a week of disappointing job hunting before she found a pleasant little cafe with a help wanted sign. Refusing to ever work in a shop again, Rose had eagerly applied, and the next day started working. It was only part time, but Rose didn't really _need_ any money and the job was something to fill her time with. She smiled to herself as she went about the simple tasks, knowing that if something happened and she wasn't traveling with the Doctor anymore, she would want a job exactly like this one. She got to meet new people everyday and, unlike when she worked at Henrik's, the customers respected her. The majority of them were friendly as they got their morning tea or picked up lunch with friends.

"Oi, Rose I need your help back here!" Emma, a coworker and new friend of Rose's, called out, derailing her train of thought. Rose reluctantly turned away from the scrap of paper she had been doodling on while the café was bereft of patrons.

"Yeah?" Rose called back, not sure if she should leave the front desk unattended. Deciding she would hear the bell if the door opened, she went back into the kitchen area to see what Emma wanted. Emma, a short and thin twenty year old complete with a shocking mop of red hair, was sitting on a bucket by herself. Rose assumed that the rest of the workers gone on break or something, they usually had an hour or so mid-morning that was void of customers.

"What were you up to last weekend? We haven't really talked yet today," Emma began, apparently just in the mood to catch up on simple gossip. "The morning rush was absolutely crazy and this is our first time to talk," Emma said, raising her eyebrows to prompt Rose to talk.

"Oh, you know, same old," Rose murmured, thinking back to the wonderful weekend she had enjoyed. John had taken her to a cheesy tourist attraction that she normally would have skipped, being London born and bred. But, the fact that he read every sign out loud in a fake American accent made it more than worth it. John was rather charming , his own unique person. Still, there were still moments when he acted just like the Doctor and she would find herself gaping at him, wondering if the Time Lord was really stuck inside of a watch at all or if he was playing a sort of elaborate – and frustrating – prank on her. "John and I just wandered around London a bit, seeing the typical sites since he has never lived here before."

"Oh don't brush it off like it's nothing," Emma groaned, standing up and starting to work on the dirty dishes, passing them over to Rose to dry once she was done. "That sound better than my weekend of lying around watching telly and eating crisps."

Rose just laughed in response, assuring Emma that she would have plenty of adventures with Paul. Emma had gone on about one of her friends Paul, who she had been on a few casual dates with and was thinking about becoming more official.

"Speaking of Paul, do you want to meet him today?" Emma asked, stopping when she noticed the hesitation on the blonde's face. "We could go out to lunch with him over our break; it'll be fun and you can say if you think he is worthy of my awesomeness," a sly smile spread across the red-head's freckled face and she continued on with elaborate casualness. "Or is John coming to see you again over lunch today?" Emma questioned, referring to how John had stopped by a few times, even though it was nowhere near the University he worked at. "You know, it isn't enough that you have a gorgeous and rich husband, but he has to absolutely adore you," Emma laughed, adding a statement for dramatic effect. "Blonde's really do get all the luck."

"I would love to meet Paul, I really would, but today doesn't work," Rose stammered. She had been lost in thought about the incident in the bathroom this morning, trying to prevent another blush from burning across her face. "My mum is going to take me out to lunch today. Maybe tomorrow instead, though?" Rose responded, glad that she would see Jackie today as she didn't see her near as much as she should considering she lived in the same city at the same time for once. And, she could desperately use some of her wise words of advice that only a mother could give.

Nodding in acceptance, Emma changed the subject and the girls soon dissolved into giggles as they compared their stories about the huge man covered in tattoos who had attempted to pay for his coffee with a pebble earlier that morning. Rose wondered if John would find the story as amusing as she knew the Doctor would. Emma kept the patter of their conversation going while Rose began daydreaming about the Doctor – or maybe it was John Smith – holding her and laughing with her as she regaled him with the quirks of the people who passed by the café

…

Meanwhile, John was just finishing up his first class for the day, grinning as the students practically sprinted out of the classroom the moment he dismissed them. Only a select few even stopped long enough to mumble a quick goodbye before hurrying to their next class or whatever else they had planned for that day. Although he enjoyed his job at Cambridge before he moved here, it was nice to teach more than just beginning physics. Here in London he got his own research lab and taught high level physics students. He was already used to the new university, relieved he had made the right decision coming here. Sure he had to deal with Jackie Tyler, but he had a secret liking for his mother-in-law despite his grumbling about her.

Picking up the book he had been reading before class, John plopped down into his chair with his feet resting on the desk. He could go back to his office but he was prepared to waste time until his next class in an hour or so. Plus he preferred to be in the large lecture hall instead of his cramped office. However, there was something nagging the back of his mind that wouldn't allow him to relax completely. He was almost scared to admit it to anyone, even himself if he was being completely honest about it.

Because every night since he and Rose had moved to their London flat, he had been having strange dreams. But not just _weird_ dreams. They were so clear and realistic that they almost seemed like a long forgotten memory. Except that they definitely weren't his past memories. They just couldn't be real memories. He had a perfectly normal life and he was fine with that, not particularly yearning for anything else. But in his dreams the thought of his domestic life with his wife seemed terrifying, like he just wanted to start running and never stop.

In his dreams he was an alien with two hearts. Although he sometimes looked like himself, he had worn multiple faces and personalities over the numerous years of his life. Several young women starred in his dreams as his assistant while he traveled the universe, through _space_ and _time_ no less, in a blue police box. It got even stranger though, as he practically always saved the world from monsters and scheming aliens. No matter where he tried to go it seemed to always lead to trouble and running. But that wasn't the worst part. There was one dream in particular that haunted him, that had him waking up in a cold sweat practically every night. In that dream, he was surrounded by fire and pain. A mass of chaos and screams that he had started, but he did nothing to stop it or help anyone. Nothing at all. He just watched it burn and ran away.

Shaking his head, John shook away the vestiges of that terrible dream from his mind as he recalled with a smile the happier part of his dreams. Rose, well obviously it wasn't really _his_ Rose, but she looked and acted exactly like his wife. She starred in the majority of his dreams. She was apparently the Doctor's – his dream self's name – most recent companion. Except she must be so much more than just a companion to the Doctor. John couldn't imagine anyone knowing Rose so well and not being in love with her. She was a bright light in his broken life that led him away from the darkness that threatened to consume the Doctor.

Deciding that reading up on the latest advancements in quantum physics was most definitely not happening for him at that moment, John pulled out a journal that he had kept hidden in his desk drawer. With a smile slowly filling his face, he glanced down at his most recent sketch of Rose with golden eyes. It was something he did to pass the time and make his dreams seem less realistic, writing them down like a story. Recalling his previous dream about a werewolf, he scribbled it down and began to sketch images that he had in his mind, relaxing as he let go of the dreams.

Or _were_ they memories?

…

"Sorry I'm late, Mum!" Rose said as she rushed over to the table where Jackie was impatiently waiting. She had ended up staying a few minutes after her shift ended at the cafe.

"It's quite alright, sweetheart. It's nice to see you too, by the way! To think, you are finally on the same planet as me and I haven't seen you in a week," Jackie laughed, glad to see how relaxed and happy her daughter seemed now just two weeks into being married to an alien who wasn't an alien at the moment.

After ordering their food, Rose listened as Jackie spoke about her own escapades with her 'special friend' Howard. Rose was somewhat surprised that he was still a prominent figure in her mum's life. It wasn't like her to keep the same man around for so long.

"So, how is married life treating you now that you have had a few weeks to adjust?" Jackie asked, holding back an urge to wink, after she finally stopped rambling on about her life and started to eat and listen to Rose talk.

"Fantastic I suppose, I don't know what a real marriage is supposed to be like though…" Rose answered with a sigh, rolling her eyes at Jackie's expression. "It's just super weird and all…John looks like the Doctor, but he isn't him, not really anyway, it's all very confusing. Very, very confusing," her hazel eyes staring at the table while her mind continued to conjure up images of John in the shower.

"You better get used to it, sweetheart. You have more than two months left of this waiting this out…what is it you two are hiding from again?" Jackie asked, clearly having not paid attention the first few times Rose had explained the situation.

"Mum, I've already told you multiple times! Anyway, the Family of Blood is some evil alien race but they have a limited lifespan - only three months. Except they want to be immortal and they could achieve that by absorbing the Doctor's Time Lord being, which would obviously kill him. They were tracking us, so the Doctor captured his Time Lord essence in a fob watch so they would die on their own and in three months I will open the watch and the Doctor will come back to me," Rose explained, clearly annoyed at having to constantly repeat herself to her mother.

Jackie, obviously having stopped listening halfway through Rose's basic explanation, once again, nodded and changed the topic. "Eh, those aliens again! Silly creatures, why can't they just leave you and the Doctor alone?"

Rose repressed the urge to grown in annoyance and settled for just nodding her head in agreement, wondering what it would be like traveling with the Doctor if they weren't saving the world over and over again. She had to admit she absolutely loved the thrill of it and she knew that he did as well. They sure did make a good pair, she supposed. She just wished the pairing between them was a bit more like how it was now with the all-too-human John Smith.

…

John, having finished his last class of the day, returned to his office to get caught up on his paperwork. He wondered whether or not he should head directly home after he finished filling out these blasted forms or if he would be done early enough to convince Rose to do something tonight. She'd been running hot and cold the last few weeks and he wanted nothing more than to get to the bottom of it. She promised him nothing was wrong, but she seemed to be withdrawn from him. Maybe if he could set the mood before they got to the flat, she'd be more receptive to his advances once they were at home. It wasn't that he thought sex would fix whatever was wrong, but he missed her in that way. After all, he was a bloke and Rose seemed to have no idea how attractive he found her. John looked up, torn from his salacious thoughts, when he heard someone open the door and enter his office without so much as a courteous knock.

"Oh, hello there, Ms. Baxter. This is a surprise," John muttered, the usual excitement lacking from his voice. wondering why Elizabeth Baxter, one of his brightest students who was always more than willing to answer his questions or bring up an enlightening topic, had come to see him so late in the day. He wondered if she had a question to ask him. Still, her timing was a bit suspicious. "What can I help you with?" he continued, rewarding her with his most welcoming, but very professional, smile.

"Don't worry, John," she said with a casual laugh, "I can call you that, right?" Taking John's shocked silence as a yes as she continued walking towards him with a confident swish of her hips. She picked up the very few pictures on his desk to examine them. "I'm not here for help with your class or anything, you know. You are an excellent teacher and I was just curious about what the brilliant professor of physics does in his free time in his office, all alone with no company to talk to," she half sat, half-leaned against his desk, looming over John as he sat in his chair, who was still trying to figure out what she wanted from him.

"Well, I have to do a lot of paperwork actually," he said, gesturing to the rather large pile on his desk. "It is rather dull, honestly. I always put it off until the last minute because it is my least favorite part of the day. Though I'm sure you and your friends could be up to much more exciting things than what I'm doing right now," John continued, suspicious of the way Elizabeth had begun to lean over him, her eyes filled with careful amusement.

Elizabeth glanced at John's desk, picking up a picture of Rose he had. "Is this your wife?" she asked cheekily.

"I could help you…take some of the _monotony_ out of your day I'm quite good at that certain activity," Elizabeth whispered, trailing off suggestively with a flirtatious wink as she leaned even closer to John and reached up to run her fingers over his cheek.

John, finally realizing what his student was insinuating, leaped out of his chair and began backing away from his desk. His brown eyes were dark and wide with shock. "Ms. Baxter," he stammered, angry and embarrassed. "I'm married! And you are far too young. I'm your professor. This is beyond inappropriate!"

"So much the better John," she replied, her eyes flashing with desire. "It makes it more exciting. The thrill of sneaking around, hiding in the shadows, cupboards even, carrying on in secret, don't you think?" Elizabeth murmured, getting up and walking right up to John again. "Besides, I've your wife. She doesn't look much older than me so don't use my age as an excuse."

"Ms. Baxter! You really should leave right now before," John began to say, only to be stopped by Elizabeth putting a finger against his lips. He took another step backwards to get away from her and found himself trapped between his student and the wall.

"Shush, John, we'll just have to be _very_ quiet now," Elizabeth whispered, ignoring John's protests as she pressed against him, holding him against the wall and began kissing him rather hungrily.

…

Rose, after finishing up tea with her mother, remembered a suggestion that Jackie had mentioned to her. She couldn't ignore the blinking message on the TARDIS anymore, she would have to watch it. And, she decided, why not.

She walked slowly to the warehouse behind the Powell Estates, wishing she could come up with an excuse so she wouldn't have to do this. Watching the Doctor, hearing _his_ voice again, would only make her feel more guilty about her feelings towards John Smith. She had visited the TARDIS many times, but it still felt wrong to see it on emergency power, it felt like she was in an abandoned home.

Taking a deep breath, Rose walked straight to the console, avoiding looking at the Chameleon Arch still dangling there. She didn't want to remember how much pain the Doctor had been in when he turned himself human. Instead she focused on the screen, covered in Gallifreyan writing she couldn't read. The Doctor had vaguely taught her what most of the controls did, but she was still hesitant to touch them in case she tore a hole in the space time continuum. But today Rose, with slightly shaking hands, turned the monitor on. With that done she hit the blinking button, assuming that was all she had to do to activate the video. If there was more it was rather cruel of the Doctor not to leave instructions, but then again he hadn't told her how to deal with John. Though this message may do just that...which is why Rose was so nervous.

The moment she hit the button the Doctor's, _her_ Doctor's face, filled the screen. She paused the screen then, being able to tell just from the frozen image how distinct the Doctor was from his human counterpart. Having stared at his picture for several minutes, Rose gathered the courage and hit play, intensely listening for what he had to say for her.

 _"Rose, I am leaving this for instructions on what to do when I am human,"_ the video began. Rose practically jumped with joy, she had been right, this was instructions. And there was the added bonus of hearing him speak in his quick witted tone again. _"First of all, I'm not sure if I will even know who you are, but please don't let me wander off, make sure you don't somehow lose me. Second, you can't tell him who I really am, you need to go along with the story no matter what I do. Third, I'm sorry I have to leave you with this, but I know you can do it, which is why this is the most important piece of information: don't let me leave you, Rose. I need you, now more than ever, so make sure I never ever abandon you because I couldn't bear breaking my promise_ ," the Doctor on the tape quickly rambled, continuing on with a very long list of other inconsequential details like avoiding pears, a rule Rose had already broken many times.

Rose smiled to herself at watching the Doctor, truly the Doctor, talk to her and stopped the tape near the end again to make sense of what she had heard. Most of the tape was just instructions, not overly emotional or even directly referencing her. However, the end, she needed to hear it again. She couldn't be right about what he was alluding to. "Ro _se, I'm so sorry about all of this, but I know I can trust you with this more than anyone else. So I just want to thank you so much Rose, I promise I'll make up for it in three months' time. Oh, and Rose, remember the most important thing is that Rose, I…_ " the taped Doctor stopped for a long while just staring at the camera before responding again and quickly ending his message. " _Oh, you know Rose_."

Rewinding the tape again, Rose listened to a section once again, wanting to scream at him that she didn't know what he was going to say one bit, and it was very important for her to know, especially right now. Deciding that she probably would never get the answer from him, Rose sat down onto the jump seat, wondering how everything would work out now. If things hadn't been complicated before, they sure were now because she felt so guilty when she was with John. But the worst thing was that she loved him, she loved John Smith and she loved the Doctor. Though he hadn't told her what to do if she fell in love with him as a human...but he did say to make sure they stayed together. And, Rose's selfish mind told her, to ensure he stayed they would have to be married. That wasn't the worst thing, to actually allow herself to feel married to John. She wasn't sure how much longer she could last living this lie, it was so hard. After more introspection, Rose decided to go see John as he finished up his day at work. She knew that he would just love to see her show up there unexpectedly. The last time she had, his face had lit up with delight and he swore that Rose made even the paperwork he had to finish bearable.

Making her way to his office quickly, Rose hoped she had the courage for what she was about to say. She couldn't suppress a delighted smile herself either – nor could she ignore the nervous tingle that swept over her as she pushed open the door, surprised by how actually excited she was to come and talk to him even though she had just seen him that morning. The few hours' separation seemed far too long and she had begun to miss him already.

"John you are attempting to cook tonight, and I'm sure it will be amusing experience for both of us..." Rose said, walking into the office. Before she could finish her sentence, her hazel eyes went wide when she took in the scene that lay before her.

Standing directly in front of her, John was kissing a very young brunette. The pair of them were practically smashed up against the wall of his office and her tongue was halfway down his throat.

 **Any thoughts? I know a lot happened in this chapter and it jumped around a bit. Rose finally listened to the tape and John got himself into a bit of a pickle...**

 **Tell me what you thought in the review and what you want to happen next.**

 **Thanks,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **"I love you," John said instead, punctuation each statement with a light kiss to her lips. "You are my wife," he stated. "You are my best friend," he continued. "And I would never do anything to sabotage what we have."**


	4. Falling into Place

**Hello! I hope you are all enjoying my story and keep reading, I really appreciate it when others read my story.**

 **Anyhow...hope you enjoy this next chapter as it deals with what happened last chapter. Sorry if you think it is slow paced, but I'm trying to be realistic here.**

 **Read on and enjoy!**

Falling into Place

Rose stood, rooted in place and watched in shocked disbelief, halfway wanting to pinch herself to ensure that this wasn't a nightmare. At her entrance, John shoved the woman away from him, his face a mask. Inconsequential details floated through Rose's mind despite how much she wished she wasn't really seeing this. The girl was wearing far too much make up, even to Rose's tastes. The perfume she wore was heavy and had a sharp scent that made Rose's eyes water. And, the worst thing, was that she didn't look that much younger than Rose. John finally showed emotion on his face, looking flustered and outraged as he turned to where Rose stood. She was sure her face pale and ashen, her face clearly showing all of the emotions she was feeling. John met her eyes for a long moment until he suddenly looked away, his face reddening. Grimacing, John wiped off his lips with the back of his hand as he cleared his throat and turned towards the other woman once more.

"Get out of here this instant," he hissed, his voice low and angry. "If you even try to do anything like this ever again I will personally have you expelled from this University," he paused, glancing up at Rose once more. "As it currently stands, you are no longer welcome to set foot in my classroom. Drop my class or receive an incomplete," John finished, glaring down at the girl, who Rose noticed was wearing a very short skirt.

"I don't really think you have the authority to say that, John," she retorted casually, having the audacity to turn and smile at Rose. She looked like she was about to laugh at Rose's expression, but turned back to John instead. "Do you?" she added on, raising an eyebrow as a challenge.

John seemed to be frozen, so Rose stepped forward, defending John even if he didn't deserve her help. "Listen here," Rose began, relieved that she had learned how to give someone a good talking to from her mother and the other girls on the Estate growing up. "I don't know what right you think you have for coming in here and propositioning yourself to my husband."

"I was just trying to help," she responded cheekily, acting innocent as she once again smiled at Rose. "I could report this you know. Talk about how my professor came onto me, no one is going to believe it is the other way around."

John finally spoke up again, keeping a safe distance away from both women. "You will not be allowed in my class anymore," John argued back, his face set as he narrowed his eyes. "If you think you can still take the exams and pass without coming to class be my guest, but I'm not going to stand around while you threaten me with lies."

The brunette set her jaw then, clearly thinking over all her options. "Fine," she finally huffed, brushing her hair back behind her ears. "I'll see if I can transfer to another professor, that'll be easier than having to report it and my parents would be upset," she reasoned aloud.

Rose let out a sigh of relief when the horrid girl agreed. She should after all, how was John expected to teach her after that happened? And it wouldn't be good for anyone if she reported it, they would have taken her word over John's. Now she just wished the girl would leave his office so she could finally confront John about what had actually happened. She didn't really believe that he would do anything like this, but how well did she really know John Smith anyway? At least with the Doctor she knew he was rubbish at lying directly to her, he had so many tells that she knew he was hiding something from across the room. She hadn't really noticed any with John and had assumed it was because he had nothing to hide, but it could also be that he was just a practiced liar.

"I really am sorry," John's student exclaimed, breaking Rose out of her thoughts. She apologized, but her voice was anything but sincere, it was more of a sarcastic apology. "But it just seemed like John could use a..." she broke off, mouthing the word so that only Rose could know what she meant. Rose immediately stiffened, her hatred for the girl increasing exponentially. "A word of advice," she added, glancing back at John's aghast expression. "If you don't want your husband to cheat on you, you should probably have sex with him occasionally," she laughed then, looking between Rose and John who were both too shocked at her brazen words to say anything. "Just look at the poor bloke, he needs a good shag," she finally finished, glancing at John with false pity in her eyes.

"Get the hell out of my office," John exclaimed, the anger practically radiating off of him as he spoke in a strangely calm voice. "You have no right to talk to my wife that way."

The horrific student huffed in annoyance, spun away from John with a sharp glare, and finally marched towards the door. Apparently she had done all she had come for. As she passed Rose by, she hissed something at her, so low John was sure not to hear. "Mrs. Smith…you haven't seen the last of me," she finished, meeting Rose's eyes for a long moment before she left the office and slammed the door behind her.

The moment the girl vacated the room John was right next to her, apologizing profusely and looking properly terrified. His hand hesitantly rested on the small of her back as he led her across the room away from the door. Rose was too surprised by what the slut had just said to her to resist as John led her to sit down in his desk chair. Avoiding looking at his face, she bit her lip as John knelt down in front of her so their faces were the same height.

His voice breaking the tense silence of the room, John spoke up after several moments. "Rose, please let me explain," he said, his voice thick and full of emotion as he cautiously met her gaze. "It really isn't what it looks like," he winced at his terribly cliche line.

"Who is she?" Rose asked, hating how much like a little girl her voice sounded like right now. But she couldn't help but feel insecure right now, especially after what she had said. Rose knew it wasn't true, John, or any decent guy, wouldn't cheat on her just because she wasn't sleeping with them. But the insecure part of Rose's mind whispered that as the truth.

John groaned, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "She doesn't matter, okay?" he responded, finally answering when Rose just glared at him. "Fine then, her name is Elizabeth Baxter. She is one of my students and she doesn't mean anything to me. She just came to my office and practically attacked me."

"Has this ever happened before?" Rose breathed, jerking away from him as John rested his hand on her thigh. "You owe me an explanation, John," she added when John didn't respond immediately.

He leaned closer to her then. "Of course not, Rose," he argued back as his voice shook with emotion. "I would never want to be with anyone other than you, that's why I married you," he paused then, apparently trying to think of what else to say. "Rose, I swear I have never lied to you. Don't you believe me?"

"I don't want to be here," Rose mumbled, trying not to cry as a large wave of jealously hit her full force. At least she had never had to see the Doctor kiss anyone else right in front of her. And to think she had come to his office, finally deciding that she _wanted_ to be married to John Smith. She made to stand up, but John kept her in the chair, keeping a firm grasp on her shoulders. "John, don't touch me," Rose hissed, shock and jealousy finally giving way to anger as she pushed away from him. How dare he act like this? After all she had given up for him. After all the emotions she had been struggling with these past few weeks.

"Rose, she practically leaped on me just seconds before you walked in," John pleaded, remaining on his knees as he tried unsuccessfully to take her hands in his. "Absolutely nothing happened besides what you saw, I swear," John sputtered, panic filling his voice as Rose's face remained harsh.

"Even if she was the one that kissed you first, you must have done something to lead her on and make her think you would be shagging her in your office behind your wife's back!" Rose shouted, not caring if there was someone nearby who could hear her. Never had she felt such a claim over John until right now and she realized that he was _hers._ Her hazel eyes were already beginning to fill with tears as she stood up and took a step away from John.

John reluctantly stood up as well, still maintaining some distance from her. "I'm so sorry, love," he uttered, his brown eyes so wide and innocent she wanted to forgive him then and there. "If I did anything to make her think that I surely didn't intend to."

With barely a warning, Rose stepped forward and slapped him hard against his cheek like she had wanted to since she walked into the room. She almost immediately regretted her rash decision when she saw the hurt look in his eyes. Sure, she was mad at him for this, but a part of her mind told her that she didn't have a right to be. After all she had been pushing him away since she met him, not wanting to be his wife. "Do you want me to leave?" Rose whispered, finally letting out her insecurities. The Doctor had told her to look after John, but if her being his wife wasn't what he wanted, she didn't want to torture him. Perhaps all the adoring looks and love he had shared with her weren't as sincere as she thought.

"You really didn't have to slap me. You're turning into your mother!" John shouted back, obviously not noticing Rose's pitiful question. "You have to know I would never ever even think about cheating on you. Especially with one of my students."

"Really? How would I be sure of that now?" Rose asked, anger filling her again. It seemed as if John wanted to fight. Well, if he wanted to she sure knew how to verbally spar.

Jaw tensing, John took a step closer to her, speaking low. "Jesus Christ, Rose," he hissed. "I had no idea that you thought so little of me."

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore!" Rose admitted honestly, putting a hand on her hip. "You're a stranger to me," Rose spat out, unable to contain the feelings that had been warring inside of her for weeks. She felt like such a fool, expecting John to be the Doctor when he never could be. "You're the one who left me and is making me live this life I never wanted," she admitted, speaking more to the Doctor than John right now. She felt so humiliated. She had come to surprise John and had finally begun to admit how drawn she was to the adorable human, but of course not. Fate had other plans for the two of them.

Rose hunched her shoulders forwards and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for John's reply that was sure to hurt her even more. When several moments passed in tense silence, she glanced up to see him staring at her, a storm of emotions flying across his face. His brown eyes were dark and hard as he glared down at her. She could see his nostrils flaring as he breathed heavily, keeping his temper in check so that he wouldn't provide her with even more reasons to be upset with him. His fists clenched and unclenched and his whole body seemed to tremble with the effort to hold himself in check and not explode in front of her. "You have a right to be mad at me, Rose," John answered, his voice low and dejected. "But don't you dare put everything on me."

"So it's my fault now?" Rose retorted, a gasp of manic laughter escaping her lips. "I have emotions, so it is okay for you to find someone to mess around with."

His voice in a harsh whisper, John addressed her again. "How can you say you don't know me anymore?" he stopped suddenly. "You are the one who has changed, Rose. You act like you're scared of me sometimes. Sometimes I catch you looking at me like you have no idea who I am," his voice almost broke. "I thought you were happy with me, that you loved me," he finished, sounding more sad than angry right now. "You barely even let me touch you anymore," he added as Rose pulled her hand away from his once more.

Shocked by the bluntness, but obvious truth to John's words, Rose took a few moments before responding. "I'm sorry, I'm not perfect," Rose admitted. "Leave me for someone else if you're so unhappy with me."

For several moments all Rose could hear was the pounding of blood in her ears and John's labored breathing before he suddenly moved. With a fluid motion he had her pressed against his office wall, his lips merely centimeters from hers. "Do you want me to prove to you that you are the only woman for me?" he threatened in a gravely voice, his eyes dark and narrowed.

Rose took a deep breath, entirely confident that John would follow through with his threat. She stayed motionless, waiting for the anger to make its way out of his body so that she could slip away from his tight grasp on her. Narrowing her eyes, she breathed through her nose as John's grip tightened around her hips, sure to leave bruises. After a minute he loosened his grip, sighing as all the tension left his body and he leaned his head forward to rest his forehead against hers. Relieved he had calmed down, Rose wound her arms around his waist, letting him embrace her. John pressed a kiss against her forehead then, his jaw tight and his eyes still shut.

She let her body sag against his then in defeat, not having the energy to fight anymore, she just didn't want to. Of course nothing had happened with that skanky Elizabeth. But they both needed that as an excuse to yell at each other, Rose knew. There had been an unspoken tension between them for the past weeks that simply needed to break.

Looking up at John, Rose could tell by the expression on his face that he felt terrible for yelling at her like that, even if what he said was true. "Shhh," Rose hushed when John opened his mouth to say something, pressing a comforting hand against his cheek. He shouldn't have to apologize, she was the one who had forgotten that he needed her. Forgotten that he was _real_ beyond a human with the Doctor's face and a made up backstory.

"I love you," John said instead, punctuation each statement with a light kiss to her lips. "You are my wife," he stated. "You are my best friend," he continued. "And I would never do anything to sabotage what we have."

"I know," Rose answered honestly, letting him kiss her for a long moment before she reluctantly pulled away. "Come on, let's go home and forget about this terrible day."

…

Instead of going straight home, Rose had insisted that they stop for a large quantity of chips. Ever since she saw the Earth explode on her first trip with the Doctor, it had been a tradition of theirs to go get chips whenever they had a particularly trying adventure. So, Rose decided, she would share the same tradition with John, she owed him that much. By the time they reached their flat, the chips still piping hot sitting in her lap, both of them were emotionally exhausted. Despite it all, Rose was still hopeful about their relationship, snuggled up against him in the taxi on the way back home. She loved the way her head felt when she rested it against his shoulder and the way their hands seemed to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Once they'd gotten back home and the tension began to build again, Rose gnawed on her lip as she tried to think of a solution that didn't involve shagging. This wasn't what she wanted her first time with John to be, just a physical way to get their frustrations out. She knew they needed to get everything out in the open, but they both remained evasive while she put the bag of chips by the couch, prepared to watch a film.

Rose had just settled in and was slowly eating a chip when John came into the room, a sheepish expression on his face as he hold a bottle of wine and glasses. "Thought it made sense," he explained, settling down next to her as he sat the wine on the table. "We both could use some stress reliever tonight."

"Ta," Rose muttered, leaning forwards and pouring herself a heavy-handed glass of the dark wine. As she did, John mirrored her, then went and put in some film he had mentioned offhandedly wanting to see on the telly. Without another word, he sat down, further away than he normally would, and grabbed a handful of chips, apparently content not to talk to her.

After several agonizingly awkward minutes sipping the wine, pretending a normalcy existed that neither of them felt, the tension between the couple was almost palpable in the air. Still, they were both too stubborn to say anything about it for a long while, both hoping that the situation would somehow magically resolve itself on its own. Rose sighed when she realized that that simply was not going to happen between them. In this way John was much too like the Doctor, not wanting to bring up the issue first.

"Want to play a drinking game?" Rose asked, saying the first thing that came to her mind. "We each have to say something we normally wouldn't each time we take a drink."

"That isn't really how drinking games work, love," John retorted with a joking tone to his voice. Well, at least he didn't seem to hold anything that had happened before against her. "But I know I would enjoy draining this bottle and I have another one waiting in the kitchen," John paused for a moment, obviously weighing his words carefully. "Let's get smashed."

Rose sat stiffly on the couch, wondering how the Doctor would have handled the situation. She knew he couldn't get drunk, superior Time Lord biology and all, but was curious if he would share his secret thoughts if it was a game. Surely he would have come up with some sort of an excuse about it that would both goad at her and make her love him even more. He for sure would have been smirking the entire time, she thought to herself. It was times like this that Rose was thankful John was so human. Although she did secretly love the fact that John also always wore a nice suit and tie. They more than flattered his lanky frame. She supposed his fashion sense was left over from some leftover traces from the Time Lord himself.

Deciding to just go for it, Rose spoke up. "I don't like it when we go to post restaurants and have to dress fancy," Rose admitted, taking a sip of her wine and swallowing it slowly. "It feels like you are buying me and just showing off with your money."

"I _like_ spoiling you," John retorted, looking at the telly as if he was actually paying attention to the stupid film. "And we will have to go to fancy benefits for my work and stuff, so it is unavoidable. Plus, you knew how I was when we met," he finished with a sniff.

Rose swirled her wine around her glass, surprised this was going so well. Instead of holding this bottled up inside until it exploded into a fight, they were simply talking about it like grown ups. "I'll accept that," Rose responded. "As long as, if I tell you I'm uncomfortable, we leave or don't go," she paused, relieved it was apparently reasonable as John agreed.

John took a large gulp of wine, downing almost half the glass at once. "My turn," he began, turning to face her. "You snore when you sleep."

Smirking, Rose threw a chip at John. "Oi, you can sleep on the couch," she retorted with a grin. "I can't help that, so there is no sense in you complaining about me when I'm asleep," she teased as she scooted a few inches closer to him. "And you're one to talk, always talking nonsense in your sleep."

John tensed up, eyeing her warily for a few moments. While he was silent Rose took another large sip of her wine, mentally counting John talking in his sleep as one of her confessions. Sitting here, staring at John's furrowed brow through her glass, it was easy to feel comfortable with him, as if they really had been married for almost a year.

"I wish you didn't work," John admitted suddenly, taking a slow drink. "Why won't you just let me just provide for you?"

"I only work part time," Rose defended. She wanted to work, enjoyed it. Plus, what would she do with all her free time? It isn't like she could call up any of her old friends. "And I want to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile."

"Sorry, we've already argued about this enough," he said, smiling sheepishly. "But when we have kids maybe we can make another pro con list about it, yeah?" John asked, not noticing how Rose's face had gone pale at his last comment.

Not even wanting to think about John mentioning kids, Rose took a long gulp of wine. She blurted out something random. "You spend too much time styling your hair in the morning."

Well into their second bottle of wine, Rose had her feet draped over John's legs giggling as he fed her cold chips, the film menu having been stuck at the start for over an hour. She was already well into her tipsy phase and John was as well, much more of a lightweight than she had expected. It was a strange experience to see, as the Doctor hadn't even been affected by Jack's hyper vodka. He was even more hyper and affectionate when he was drinking and she thought the whole effect was adorable. They had really abandoned her 'drinking game' more than an hour ago, preferring to flirt and tease with one another.

"I do not only eat chips," Rose playfully argued against John's latest comment about her. To elaborate her point she kept her mouth firmly closed, refusing to eat the chip John was offering her.

"I think you taste like chips," John retorted, abandoning his ploy of force feeding her and leaning forwards to capture her lips with his. After a few moments, he pulled away and blatantly licked his lips. "Yep, I was right."

Smiling, John kissed her again more intentionally. Rose responded instinctively, humming appreciatively as John currently tasted of wine and chips, as well as a hint of mint. Snogging John didn't feel like an invasion of the Doctor's privacy anymore and for that she was thankful. Because, Rose decided as John shifted to deepen the kiss, he was rather talented with his tongue. Through the alcohol induced blur, Rose knew she should pull away when John started pushing her further back onto the couch so he could hover above her, but she didn't _want_ to. Instead, she just bit back a groan as John turned his attention to her neck, hands unconsciously working on the buttons of his Oxford.

Finally through with her task of unbuttoning his shirt, John suddenly spoke. "You can't be comfortable, scoot down the couch a bit, will you?" he asked, his voice breathy. At that, Rose almost put a stop to what they were doing, surprised when John just shifted her over himself so that her hips weren't at an awkward angle any longer. To John maybe this was normal in his memories. But, to her, it was odd how comfortable he seemed about the whole situation. Such consideration and care for her comfort was something she had never experienced in her past relationships. It seemed as if John thought it was his job to please _her_ , not the other way around.

So, when John made to pull off her top, she let him. Rose stared at him for a moment, running her hands over his surprisingly smooth chest. Practically holding her breath, Rose tried to keep her breathing study as John trailed his kisses down lower than her neck. It seemed that he was going to take his time with this, something Rose wasn't going to complain about. A few blissful minutes later, Rose yanked on John's hair, urging him to move his head up so that she could snog him properly. Soon after, when John's fingers began deftly unbuttoning her trousers, even her wine addled mind knew she was entering dangerous territory.

"I can't stand that music anymore," Rose murmured just loud enough for John to hear, trying unsuccessfully to untangle herself from him. The same peppy music from the menu screen had been repeating on a loop and it wasn't really loud enough to bother her, but it was a good excuse to get out of this situation. "I need to turn it off."

John groaned in annoyance, his longer arms reaching the remote before hers as he quickly shut off the telly. "That was grating," John agreed, his hands going right back to the task of lowering the zipper of her jeans.

"Stop it," Rose huffed out, relieved when John froze his motions. With little effort, Rose was able to squirm away from him and sat curled up on the opposite side of the couch, quickly pulling her shirt back on. Looking up, she was surprised to see John had soundlessly gotten up and was pacing across the room. "What are you doing?" she called after him.

"Is something _wrong_?" John asked, his jaw tight. "Because if you keep on getting spooked whenever I..." he trailed off, his teeth grinding against each other.

Rose bit her lip, not sure what to say to him. Technically nothing was wrong in the way he was asking her about, but there was a reason she didn't want to continue. "No," she lied, suddenly feeling very sober.

John tried again, the rawness in his voice giving her pause. "Really Rose you can tell me anything," he practically begged. "If something happened that makes you uncomfortable just tell me and I'll do everything in my power to make it better."

"John," she tried again, trying to ease his obvious worry that he had done something wrong. "You didn't hurt me and neither did anyone else."

"Then why can't I make love with my wife?" John questioned in a husky voice, moving to sit down next to her on the couch again.

"I'm scared of letting you in," Rose muttered in reply, being honest about how she felt mentally and physically. "I _want_ to, trust me I do, just not right now after we fought today and have been drinking."

"Why?" John asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "You have to know I'd never hurt you," he paused for several moments, eyes flitting around the room. "I just don't understand why this is an issue suddenly, Rose. We are married and were having sex almost every day."

Not knowing what to do, Rose stared at the floor as hot tears pricked at her lids. "I just ruin everything," Rose choked out, feeling as if she was cheating on John whenever she thought of the Doctor. She hated how she had allowed herself to fall in love with John. She loved the Doctor first. The confusion that accompanied her heart was pulling her in two opposite directions. John _actually_ loved her – and she had to admit that she was in love with him too. But she would always love the Doctor. What ever would he _do_ in three months' time when he returned? "I don't deserve you," she finally admitted.

John scooted over next to her, putting a protective arm around her shoulders. "Why would you ever say that, Rose?" John crooned, clearly at a loss for words and confused by her sporadic behavior. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or us."

Rose, knowing there was no way she could ever tell John how she was really feeling, let the tears go as she buried her face against his neck. John rubbed soothing circles on her back, his touch calming and steadying her. This wonderful man deserved more than a wife who was so torn between his human alter ego and his true Time Lord self. She couldn't help but love him, all the while while feeling that she was being unfaithful.

 **So...what did you think? Poor Rose...and John...**

 **At least they got everything sort of talked out...what do you think they should do next? Any comments? Let me know in a review!**

 **Thanks and review,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **"Why don't we spend the day in..." Rose trailed off, not sure if she had courage to say the next word. Biting the bullet, Rose continued. "Bed," she finished as confidently as she could, shoveling in a forkful of eggs, feeling her face go red and John's eyes on her.**


	5. The Dream Journal

**Hi! Hope you enjoy this next chapter! I am not sure when I will be able to update again, so here this is! :)**

 **Also if you are in America...no more Doctor Who on Netflix :( I'm sorry, so read this instead ;)**

 **Anyhow enjoy and review when you are done reading!**

The Dream Journal

Rose slowly woke up in the morning, wondering what was tickling her face as she reached up to brush it away. Suddenly, her head shot straight up, remembering the night before and realizing that it was John's hair that was tickling her. He had carried her to bed after she had fallen asleep on the couch last night and Rose's heart clenched as she thought of how much that meant to her. Apparently he felt her move, as Rose bit back a giggle as John groaned in his sleep and tightened his arms around her, speaking an odd sentence as he did so. "No Rose, you can't sit there. You will press the spinney lever. No, it won't explode the TARDIS, it'll just play that silly song you are so fond of and I'm sick to death of hearing it."

Upon hearing John say "the TARDIS," Rose gasped in surprise, wondering how John would ever have even heard that word before. And the most unnerving thing was that she remembered when the Doctor had said those exact words to her…and that just made her think of the Doctor once more.

Thinking of him, Rose knew she had to get out of this room right now if she wanted to avoid having a panic attack, she couldn't believe what she had said to him last night. Trying to wiggle out of John's arms, Rose became very still when she noticed John beginning to wake up.

"No, I am too comfortable for you to move," John mumbled is his half-awake stupor, tightening his grip around her waist as he continued to use her for a pillow.

"I'm sorry, but I just got a call from my mum," Rose practically crooned, relieved when he halfheartedly loosened his grip. "She needs me to go over and pick up something and you know how she gets when she wants something done," Rose sighed, glad to come up with a plausible lie so quickly. "Go back to sleep, John. I'll be back soon," Rose whispered, kissing him lightly on the forehead as she finally disentangled herself from his arms.

Speaking of headaches, Rose had a nasty one herself. Although she wasn't really hungover, wine always ended up giving her a headache in the morning. She remembered that the Doctor had once given her some tablet from the infirmary for a headache that worked instantly and that was all she wanted right now. She had convinced herself to go to the TARDIS anyway, she just had to watch the video he left for her again. To make sense of what he said before she could allow herself to entirely be comfortable with John. Rose quietly threw on some clothes, grabbed a pair of shades, and took a taxi to the Powell Estates. With a sigh, Rose walked to the small warehouse where the TARDIS was parked in a warehouse.

"Thank you alien technology," Rose whispered to the empty air, gulping down the pill and feeling better almost instantaneously once she had found it in her bathroom on the sentient ship. Making her way back to the console room, Rose paused in front of the controls, pressing play on the video with instructions that the Doctor had left for her. Her heart fluttered at the mere sight of his familiar face and the quick and frantic manner of his speech as he listened to his instructions.

Rose listened to his greeting again, now noticing the dramatic differences between him and John. However, instead of rewinding through the middle of the tape, she decided to watch it all. He may be saying something important, something she needed to hear right now. There was a lot of silly rambling on the Doctor's part, but suddenly something caught her ears.

" _Rose, I have no idea what back story the TARDIS will come up with when I'm human, I've never had to use the Chameleon Arch before,_ " the Doctor on the screen began, looking straight at the camera. Although she technically saw his face everyday, the distinct difference between the two men was enough to make her pause for a moment. She missed him. She loved John, but she missed the Doctor too. " _But, no matter what it is, don't let me hurt you. We've been through a lot, so I trust that you'll know what to do if something goes wrong. It would be ideal if you were close to me with the watch these few months,"_ the Time Lord paused, glancing around. _"That being said, I promise everything will go back to normal when I come back no matter what happened those three months. Just be happy, Rose."_

Standing in the TARDIS, Rose felt like the Doctor knew that he was going to turn into her husband when he became human. She knew that probably wasn't the case, it was just her reading too much into a few sentences. The line about everything going back to normal after this made her stomach turn a bit. It was better than she could hope for, she loved being the Doctor's best friend, but she also longed to be properly together. Deciding that was months away from even worrying about, Rose analyzed the rest of the message. But, still, Rose knew the Doctor was sincere when he told her to be happy. And, if John made her happy, that's what she needed to do.

Sighing as she turned off the message and glanced around the familiar console room, Rose knew exactly where she needed to go. She needed to see John. She needed to go home.

...

Making it back to the flat in record time, Rose fumbled with the lock, nervous. She had no idea how to let John know that she wouldn't have to hold back anymore because she was scared of how the Doctor would react. She was finally free to let herself be happy with him and enjoy being married to him for the next two months. The thought of that both terrified and excited her.

Finally able to open the door, she stepped inside, hearing the telltale noise that John was up and about. After putting her coat away, Rose followed the sounds in somewhat of a daze, finding herself in the kitchen. John was facing away from her, making eggs as he did every Saturday morning. He was a creature of habit, the opposite of the Doctor that way, and she appreciated knowing what was going to happen next.

"You got home just in time, love," John said without turning around, the cheery tone in his voice making it obvious that he wasn't mad about anything that had transpired the night before. That eased Rose's tensions, she didn't want to rehash anything they had already worked out. "You said something about Jackie I think."

"Yeah, she just over exaggerated to get me to come over, she wanted my opinion on painting the flat," Rose lied easily, shifting from one foot to the other awkwardly.

Busying herself with pouring them both some orange juice and setting the table, she didn't say anything much substantial to John until they both were almost done eating. "What are your plans for the day?" Rose asked, trying to figure out when was the best time to blurt out that she was sorry for consistently pushing him away and was in love with him.

"Haven't thought about it. Is there anything you'd like to do?" John answered, being overly casual and cautious with her.

Rose bit her tongue, glad she didn't answer him with 'you' like she wanted to. Gah, she must have spent too much time around Jack for that to be her first thought. "Why don't we spend the day in..." Rose trailed off, not sure if she had courage to say the next word. Biting the bullet, Rose continued. "Bed," she finished as confidently as she could, shoveling in a forkful of eggs, feeling her face go red and John's eyes on her.

"Rose, you don't have to say that..." John began as Rose looked hesitantly up at him. "I didn't mean what I said last night. I wasn't thinking. I was upset and I never want to make you feel like you have to do _that."_

"But I _want_ _to,_ " Rose retorted, prodding at the last of her eggs with a fork. She knew that act wouldn't fix everything between them, but she knew it would definitely relieve some of the tension she was drowning in. Plus, as much of a gentlemen John was being about it, she was sure he was frustrated.

John stared at her for a long moment, his eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to read her mind. "I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you," John explained again. "You've been so adamantly against me touching you these past few weeks, I'm not going to just pounce on you when you could be upset later. What has suddenly changed since last night, huh?" he questioned, getting up stiffly and gathering up the dishes to take to the sink.

"I realized I was being thick," Rose replied, getting up and following behind him. "That I was upset at you for something you didn't even have any control over, but I'm over that now," Rose admitted honestly. "And right now all I can think about is you and how much I love being with you."

Setting the dishes in the sink, John turned to face her, his face a mask. "And you aren't going to ever tell me why you were pulling away from me," John guessed, running a hand through his hair. "Tell you what, why don't we go out into the country today on a little weekend holiday?" he suggested, seeming to forget that it was most likely cold and snowy in the places they would visit.

"I don't want to," Rose said, letting the words roll off her tongue as she grew bolder. She was sick of this stupid cat and mouse game. At first it had been her running from John, appalled that he loved her so much. And now that she finally reciprocated the feelings and felt okay about starting this life with him, he had to go and beat around the bush. "I want to make love," she finished, feeling like she was succeeding when she saw John gulp, his resolve clearly faltering.

Without saying anything, John walked over to the fridge, peering inside as he presumably tried to come up with a response. Instead of waiting for him to come up with another excuse, Rose walked up next to him, noticing how he tensed at her close proximity. Leaning in, Rose whispered something in his ear so filthy she would make Captain Jack proud, leaning back when she was done with a smirk on her face. John's ears actually turned red as he processed what she said, his hand reaching up to close the fridge finally to just stare at her.

"Do you love me?" John asked slowly, the answer holding great significance to both of them.

"Yes," Rose breathed, meaning the words entirely. She loved John. That didn't mean she loved the Doctor any less, but she did love John. Loved him in a sort of way she had never loved anyone before, reciprocated and sincere.

The effect was instantaneous. John was suddenly there, pausing to share a long glance with her before his lips were on hers. Rose smiled against his lips, glad that her flawed attempt at seduction had proved so successful. She buried one hand in John's wild hair and let her fingers run lightly over the back of his neck while her other hand clutched at his shirt. He had one hand cradling the back of her head while the other rested on her hip, his fingers tracing seemingly meaningless small circles on the small of her back.

Giggling like a teenager when her back hit the refrigerator, Rose detached herself from John's lips so she could speak. "Why don't we move this to the bed like I said earlier," Rose teased, smirking as John's grin grew. "People _eat_ in here," Rose finished, referencing to the fact that they were in the kitchen. She wanted her first time with John to be in a bed, not hurried against the counter. There was a time and place for everything.

Once they were in their bedroom, Rose turned to face John and wrapped her arms around him for another long and passionate bout of kissing that rivaled any of the others purely because it was so intentional. She felt a tinge of disappointment when she felt him pull away, but forget it entirely when she felt her shirt slide to the floor and John began to kiss down the side of her neck. Deciding he still had far too many layers on for her liking, Rose went to work as quickly as possible,pulling off his shirt in a matter of seconds. She didn't stop until he just had his trousers on. John hadn't been idle himself as most of her clothes were piled on top of his own at their feet. John held her against his chest with one arm while gently pushing them both down onto the bed where they lay in each other's embrace for long minutes, content to do nothing more than leisurely kiss.

"You know, I think I heard someone at the door, I'll go get it," John teased, making to get out of the bed. No doubt he was just jokingly getting back at her for always trying to come up with excuses to stop this from happening.

"Hush, you," Rose whispered, giggling stupidly as she pulled him back on top of her and relished in the moment about how wonderful it felt to be here with him, not caring about any of the consequences. She just knew what was happening right now and knowing how right it felt.

John paused for a moment, suddenly acting more serious than he had since going to the bed. Rose just continued to nibble on his ear. "I love you so much, Rose. I am glad I'm married to you everyday," he whispered, not bothering to control the emotion in his voice.

"Me too," Rose mumbled honestly. She silenced John's response by pressing her lips upon his again, muttering that she wanted him to just shut up right now and make love to her. Thankfully, he took her words to heart and did just that.

...

A week or so later, Rose woke up late in the morning to hear a tree limb hitting the bedroom window. Annoyed by the obstruction, she looked over to see John sitting up next to her in the bed, his eyes scrunched together all adorably as he scribbled into a notebook. Ever since last week, Rose had thrown herself fully into her relationship with John, savoring every moment she had with him as she knew it was temporary. She feared it would be all she had to hold onto once the Doctor came back.

Stretching, Rose decided that it was time for her to fully wake up. "No glasses?" Rose asked him, wondering where the attractive glasses that the Doctor always wore were as she hadn't seen them since John came around.

"I don't need to wear glasses, Rose," John mumbled. Rose, knowing now for sure that the Doctor really didn't need the glasses. He just wore them to look 'sexy'. She let out a giggle, confident that she would tease him about it in two months' time.

"What are you working on anyway?" Rose wondered aloud, scooting over closer to him on the bed. She looked over John's shoulder to see what he was writing. She assumed it would be something scientific that she could never quite understand.

"Writing down some of the odd dreams that I have been having," John mumbled only half paying attention to her, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. It appeared as if John had been up for quite some time, having not slept much at all last night. Much like the Doctor, John didn't really sleep often even though he was human. He was always up before her in the mornings and was usually wandering around the flat.

Rose, stifling a gasp when she saw a sketch of a Dalek in his journal, was amazed at what was contained on the pages. He knew about the Doctor! He must have remembered something about that life. It excited her, the thought of not having to lie about her past. It would mean he would understand why it had been so hard for her the first few weeks after coming to London. She wouldn't have to lie to him about anything anymore. She tried to conceal her excitement, and asked John to explain exactly what he dreamed about. "What? What sort of dreams?" she asked, not wanting to come on too strong or suspicious. "Those sketches look rather odd. Very well done but…odd."

"Yeah, it is weird…" John agreed hesitantly. "Don't think I'm crazy and run away from me. Promise?" John asked, continuing when Rose assured him that he was one of the sanest men she had ever met. It was completely the truth since she was sure she would never meet anyone more insane than the Doctor. "In my dreams I am an alien with two hearts," he paused then as he read Rose's face for her reaction. Apparently believing that she didn't think he was crazy, John spoke on. "Just let me finish first before you joke about it. In my dreams I'm called the Doctor. I have to fight off other aliens that are trying to destroy life on Earth or the Universe."

"So he is you?" Rose asked, trying to get a sense if John remembered being a Time Lord. Or if he just thought it was a dream, nothing more.

"Yes," John answered honestly, abandoning his journal to look at her. "With two hearts and all."

Deciding to flirt instead of letting her emotions take over, Rose leaned over. Placing both of her hands on either side of his bare chest, Rose assured him that he only one heart pumping. He was entirely human, at least at the moment.

Amused by her medical diagnosis, John planted a kiss on her forehead and continued to describe his dreams to her in more depth, thankful she was taking him so seriously. "I travel in a blue box through time and space. It starts with a T or something. Looks like some phone booth from fifty years ago," John explained before changing his train of thought. "And you are there, Rose. You and the Doctor have been traveling together for quite some time now. And you love him…makes sense and all, he is a braver and more impressive man than I," John said, smiling self-deprecatingly.

"Of course I am in your dreams, I would expect nothing less than that," Rose teased, deciding that John had no idea how true his dreams were. There was no sense pushing him to remember something he couldn't. "And as for him being a better man than you, I can assure you that you are an _amazing_ man. A man who loves and will do anything for the people he cares about. And you are quite brave yourself," Rose murmured loyally, surprised by how much John knew about his life as the Doctor from his dreams and how true her words to John had been.

"I suppose you are right, love, but the Doctor sure seems so human sometimes," he explained as Rose perked up, wanting to hear what really went on in the Doctor's mind. "He tries tell you that he loves you, but always finds a way to weasel out of it."

"He loves me?" Rose questioned, trying to remain innocent in her questions, but needing to know the answer to the question for her own sanity. It mattered, it always would. She had allowed herself to imagine it was true in the past, but never really imagined he could love her more than as a best friend.

"Why would you even have to ask that…how could anyone _not_ be completely in love with you?" John exclaimed, pulling her in for a long kiss. "You are _fantastic_ ," John said, smiling down at his blonde wife as she blushed at his words, remembering the Doctor with big ears and nose's last words to her. "And you can read the journal if you want to," he offered, acting awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck.

With a smirk, Rose assured him that she would most definitely want to read what he thought about her in his dreams, winking at him suggestively as he scoffed. "You know I love you, right?" she asked, roughly kissing him.

"Yeah, but it's sure nice to hear anyway," John retorted immediately, placing his journal on the bedside table.

Rose, knowing those three words would make his day, smiled as she finally told him the truth. She had never said it out loud before. Just alluded to it, knowing that he had to _know._ "I love you, John."

Amused by the bright look on John's face at her words, Rose pulled him down once more and kissed him again, whispering the words to him yet another time just to see him smile. Plus, she liked how freeing it was to finally say the words. "Wait a moment, why don't you tell me?" she asked cheekily.

"I love you, Rose. More than you could ever know," John mumbled against her neck.

"I know," Rose answered back, biting back her tongue as she felt her mouth begin to form the Doctor's name. He wasn't here. She just pushed the thought to the back of her mind before reaching up to snog her fully human husband.

…

Later on that day Rose went back to their bedroom, finally completely comfortable and used to living here. She hesitantly picked up the journal where he had left it this morning. He had told her to read it after all. And John had gone into work for the afternoon so she didn't really have anything to pass the hours with.

"Finally a chance to get into the Doctor's thick head," Rose murmured to herself, excitement filling her as she traced her finger across the cover with a few words written on it. "'The Journal of Impossible Things' is a fitting title."

Opening to the first page, Rose mentally reassured herself that it was absolutely fine for her to be reading this, as John had basically told her to. He was her husband for all intents and purposes. Taking in a deep breath of air, Rose settled down into a comfortable chair and lost herself in John's messy scrawl as she read his dreams of being the Doctor. And, she hoped, got an inside look into the Doctor's mind as well.

After what felt like hours, Rose had learned so much about adventures he had briefly mentioned or failed to talk about at all. Finally, she reached the large final section of the journal filled with stories of her own adventures with the Doctor. Tracing the sketch of herself when they went to see Charles Dickens, Rose read John's perception of her time with the Doctor. She was amazed to see how much was in the journal about her. If she didn't know the Doctor better, she would say he loved her based on his interpretation of her. But she knew that could never happen, as she would always be just a stupid unevolved ape in his eyes.

Plus, Rose added as an afterthought, she had so much time ahead of her with John Smith. She shouldn't keep dwelling on whether the Doctor loved her or not. At first, Rose had just assumed she would play the part as his wife, but now Rose knew something entirely different was happening. Although John did act like the Doctor at times, she loved him most for when he was entirely himself. She already knew she would be distraught when he left her. She really did truly care for her husband, the Time Lord turned human.

…

"Rose! There is someone outside who just rung the bell, could you get it?" John called out a few hours later as Rose practically jumped in surprise. It had been silent in the apartment and she was cleaning the bathroom. Rose understood why the Doctor would want to avoid that aspect of being domestic. She got to see who had come calling at their apartment as they really didn't know many people. Well, she had friends in London who thought she was still traveling, she didn't want to complicate things by them thinking she was married now. She walked to the door to the flat and saw John standing in the kitchen staring at a frozen chicken, scrubbing his hands through his hair as he always did when he was thinking. Rose stood on her tiptoes and peeked through the spyhole in the door. Seeing that it was her friend Emma, Rose smiled and pulled open the door to let her in, wondering why Emma would come see her at home after work.

"Emma! What are you doing here?" Rose questioned, pulling her friend in for a hug. She loved spending time with Emma, but they hadn't really seen each other outside of work, though that may change now. "How do you even know where I live?" Rose asked, ushering her to come inside.

"I'm obviously a genius, Rose, duh!" Emma joked as she stepped into the large foyer, the expression on her face making it obvious that she was surprised by how large and ornate the apartment was. Her cheeks were pink as if she had been outside in the cold for a long time.

"Of course, how could I forget that?" Rose replied with a laugh. She was excited and relieved to see Emma, even if it was somewhat unexpected. "Come in, come in! What brought you here?"she wondered, she knew Emma lived in a council estate on the other side of London.

Emma hesitantly followed Rose deeper into her home, relieved when they ended up in a large but simple kitchen and immediately went to work making tea for them. "Oh, I just happened to be shopping not far from here and I remembered you lived around here so I decided to just come and surprise you!" Emma explained casually, grinning at Rose.

John, still in the kitchen searching the freezer for something, turned around once they entered the kitchen. He dropped frozen vegetables on the counter and turned to Emma, enthusiastically shaking her hand. "I'm John," he introduced himself. "I've seen you but we haven't officially met," he finished as he and Emma shared pleasantries and basic facts about themselves.

Once that was done, Rose poured the tea and led Emma out of the kitchen to leave John with the difficult task of cooking. "I can't believe we've never seen each other outside of work," Rose wondered aloud as she and Emma talked excitedly. "That can't happen anymore," she finished, glad she was going to have a proper friend here. She loved John to pieces but having a girl-friend she could giggle and gossip with would help her so much during the next few months.

"Plus, I want to ask if you want to go out with me and Paul tomorrow night?" Emma added excitedly, apparently the reason behind her surprise visit.

Rose grinned, glad that Paul and Emma were officially dating now, less drama to hear about at work. "We'd love to," Rose answered, she had always loved double dates. "But only if you stay for dinner tonight," Rose continued, glancing at John in the kitchen to make sure nothing was on fire. "If John manages to make something edible, that is."

Emma agreed immediately, saying that she had faith in John. The pair immediately went back to their conversation fluidly, enjoying the friendship.

…

"Have you ever been here before, Johnny boy?" Rose asked, deciding she rather liked the new nickname for John, as they walked to the sushi restaurant where they would meet up with Paul and Emma. John gave a dramatic and fake grimace but smiled. Rose did love coming up with new ways to tease him. He was thankful for their playful banter, though. Every time she smiled or laughed, it made his heart swell in his chest to know that she was happy.

"No, I've actually never had sushi before. I don't really see the appeal in eating raw fish. Besides, nothing can be quite as good as pears," John paused, wondering why a pained look had crossed Rose's face at the mention of his favorite fruit. "They are most definitely the best fruit ever grown on Earth," John finished as he kept a watchful eye on Rose, suddenly stopping when he noticed something odd out of the corner of his eye.

As if in slow motion, John saw that an intense fight between a newly broken-up couple had just begun to escalate from loud to out-of-hand and the screaming woman was now throwing items out of the tall window so that they crashed against the ground. However, that wasn't what attracted his attention at the moment. A young mother, distracted by her cell phone, was pushing her baby in a pram right under the fight, not noticing that the screaming woman was currently shoving a heavy, old-fashioned television set out of the window towards the ground. In a few seconds, the pram and baby would be right below where the television would land.

John felt a strange force take control of his body as he bent down and picked up a rock, flung it at a pipe where it bounced off just as he had calculated and knocked over a mannequin that sat in front of a little shop. Thankfully, the mannequin blocked the mother's path, preventing her from pushing her child where the heavy television was on its way to smash against the ground mere seconds later. The mother looked away from her phone, shocked at what had happened as she bent down to comfort her now wailing child.

"Whoa…what brought that heroic act on out of the blue?" Rose gasped, knowing that the man who had done such a remarkable task was most definitely the Doctor instead of ordinary John Smith. Still, even for the Doctor it was quite impressive. Normally he was useless without his sonic screwdriver, not that she'd tell him that, but she supposed he would do anything to keep a baby from harm.

"Oh, are you saying I am not _always_ that impressive? How rather offensive to my pride, my wife saying I am not her knight in shining armor?" John joked, changing the topic. He wanted to ignore the strange sensation he had felt whilst saving the baby. Putting his arm around his wife, John lapsed into silence as they walked into the restaurant and were led to the table where Emma and Paul waited for them. Once seated, the swell of conversation washed over him, letting him get some distance from what had just happened.

Listening with half an ear, John smiled when Rose, after spending a few moments chatting with Paul, sent Emma a wink that clearly meant that she fully approved of her new boyfriend. Rose thought that Paul was perfectly friendly and rather attractive with his curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Paul asked John as he himself pretended to yawn and efficiently, but quite obviously, placed his arm around Emma's shoulders, making the redhead blush almost as red as her hair.

"Well, we have known each other for two years, but it took me quite a while to get up the courage to ask her out. I never quite imagined the possibility that _Rose Tyler_ would actually be seen out with _me_ of all people. Thankfully, I did ask and we got married a little less than a year ago. However, we just moved here less than a month ago," John explained as Rose sat, realizing that she should probably get the rest of the fake, though she wished it was really the truth, story out of John in case she ever needed to know it.

"What was our first date, John?" Rose asked, pretending that she was just teasing him to test his knowledge of their relationship, but was actually curious as to what he would say.

John just smirked, but didn't respond, raising an eyebrow at her in amusement. He shared a look with her that she didn't exactly understand.

"Come on, we all want to know! You forgot, didn't you?" Emma joked.

"We went to the park… It was quite romantic, if I say so myself. There was this festival complete with fireworks. It looked like the sky was exploding there were so many lights," John explained, his face lighting up in a brilliant smile as he thought back to the memory. "Oh, and Rose will never let me live it down that we had chips later, but I stupidly didn't have any money on me so _she_ had to pay on our first date."

At his words, Rose grew silent, wondering what other memories of John Smith were similar to the Doctor's. After the Doctor's and Rose's first 'date' she had wanted chips and even had to buy them with her own money. The fireworks sounded oddly reminiscent of watching the Earth explode billions of years into the future.

Paul, noticing that Rose seemed to be thinking intently about something, spoke up again. "Are you two excited for Christmas yet? It sure is coming up quick this year!"

"Christmas? What? Already?" Rose squeaked, realizing that Christmas was only three weeks away and she hadn't started shopping or decorating at all yet. With all the drama of settling in with John, she hadn't realized what the date was. Honestly she just wasn't used to time moving in the right order and pace.

"Yeah…I have quite a big surprise for you, Rose," John whispered into her ear as Rose began to plan in her head, knowing that she was going to make sure she and John Smith would have the best Christmas ever. Hopefully a calm one _without_ aliens trying to destroy the Earth.

 **Tell me what you guys thing! Thanks for being awesome and reviewing, keep it up!**

 **Thanks,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Sneak peak for next chapter:**

 **"I think you know why, Ms. Tyler," John said, a huge grin filling up his face. He leaned back in his chair, whispering for Rose to get off of his desk with a wink. With a finger, he motioned for Rose to come over to his side of the desk. Brushing a few pieces of paper away, he patted the now clear spot for her to sit on. Rose complied, her mind coming up blank how this seating change would be related.**


	6. The Fake Beginning

**Sort of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

The Fake Beginning

Rose, the day after their dinner with Emma and Paul, decided she wanted to probe John on how much he knew from his fake past. From the Doctor's video, she supposed everything he remembered was straight facts given to him by the TARDIS. However, when he had spoken of his memories of their first date it had to be something more than that. There was emotions attached to his past; that Rose was sure of. And she thought it was her right to know them, as John thought she knew it all already anyway.

"So," Rose began to say as she walked into John's office, but stopped when she took in the scene before her. John was leaned over his desk, intense concentration filling his face, folding a piece of paper. From this angle it looked as if it could be origami or a paper airplane. Knowing John, she figured she knew which it was. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just making a model for this theory on physics," John explained, what was probably a lie rolling off his tongue effortlessly. Nonchalantly he crumpled up the paper and tossing it into the nearby trash bin. "I can work on it later, though," he finished, smiling at her and motioning her to enter the room.

"Hmm…and what theory was it?" Rose asked, smiling her typical tongue in teeth smile as she plopped down on his desk across from him. Not that John was actually in his study that often when he was home, but she always felt weird interrupting him. With the Doctor she could interrupt him tinkering with the TARDIS or some other device, but John had never really told her if he was doing work for work or just for fun. "Because that paper you were folding looked awfully like a paper airplane," Rose said, knowing she was right by the sly smile that was filling John's face. "Anyhow, what are you doing in here? I wanted to talk to you."

John just shrugged his shoulders in response and leaned forwards in his chair so that he was inches away from Rose, still grinning. "About what, Rose?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows like she was about to do something indecent.

"Well, I was just wondering…" Rose mumbled. She wasn't sure how to word this without sounding suspicious. But she wanted, no needed, to know how Rose Tyler and John Smith had met and ended up getting married. It fascinated her, to know that the TARDIS had somehow concocted a love story for her with the Doctor in a weird way. A month in and she still was sometimes confused about the references to the past John made. "I enjoyed hearing your perspective on our first date, so I was wondering how we met," she paused, all that was coming to her mind was the moving mannequins and the word run. "According to you, I mean."

"In that case, this is the perfect setting," John laughed. He even sent her a wink, its connotation lost on Rose. Wondering if this was a mistake, Rose wondered how she could fake her ignorance.

Rose plastered a confident smile on her face, hoping it would be convincing enough for John. However, she thought better of it and decided to act completely oblivious, cocking her head to the side and scrunching up her eyebrows in confusion. "Why is that?" she asked, shaking her head like she had no idea why, which was the truth.

"I think you know why, Ms. Tyler," John said, a huge grin filling up his face. He leaned back in his chair, whispering for Rose to get off of his desk with a wink. With a finger, he motioned for Rose to come over to his side of the desk. Brushing a few pieces of paper away, he patted the now clear spot for her to sit on. Rose complied, her mind coming up blank how this seating change would be related.

"Get on with it then," Rose muttered. She was more than a little confused about what John was talking about right now. She had expected the story of them meeting to somehow involve her working on a shop with mannequins falling on her. That would be logical, what was he going on about. And why had he called her Ms. Tyler, almost no one had ever called her that before except for in school.

"Someone is a little impatient," John joked, suddenly going off on a tangent about how she got that from her mother. However, once Rose lifted her eyebrow, he stopped rambling and actually began to tell her what really happened. Well, in his mind what occurred. "Fresh out of college with a doctorate in physics, I stepped into my first class. As you can imagine, I was rather excited. Here I was, finally teaching like I had dreamed of at a great University," he continued. Rose recalled that he had mentioned Cambridge in the past, maybe that was where he was teaching. But, in her real life, she had never set foot anywhere near there. "During roll call I noticed a blonde scowling in the back of the classroom."

"Scowling?" Rose asked, her mouth falling open in shock. She automatically knew where this story was going now. Suddenly all of his offhand comments about teaching and the unconventional way they met made sense. "Now, that isn't a nice way to describe your future wife!" Rose announced, confident that her belief that she was one of his students was true.

John just shushed her then, continuing on with his narrative without breaking 'character'. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, it didn't take long for me to realize that this student did not want to be in this class. And she wasn't even faking interest like the rest of her peers were."

"Physics is a bit..." Rose interrupted, recalling the times with John and the Doctor that she had physics explained to her. It almost always went over her head, especially in the Doctor's case. She preferred to just look at it like magic.

Choosing to ignore her opinion, John continued on with the story without a pause. "So that first day, I took it upon myself to call on her for every difficult problem, just to see her stutter around the topic. Perhaps that was a bit rude of me," he finally stopped to smile at her then. Rose could tell by the expression on his face that he was really trying to give her the best story right now. "She was doodling in her notebook, Rose! And that was simply not okay with me: _doodling_ in _my_ first class. Obviously she didn't enjoy the way I was picking on her because the moment the class let out she marched right up to my desk to give me a piece of her mind."

"Learned that from my Mum," Rose agreed, knowing that the Tyler's could always be counted on to give someone a piece of her mind. "Speaking of Mum, she wants you to call her. Apparently needs to go Christmas shopping with you," Rose sent him a tongue in cheek smile. "Wants to make sure you don't buy me a rubbish gift this year."

"If I don't she'll be cross won't she?" John muttered, scowling at how scary Jackie Tyler could be at times. "Can't you come with us too? I dislike shopping enough as it is anyway..." John complained, easily transitioning back into the domestic husband he was.

Rose rolled her eyes, patting John on the shoulder with false sympathy. "You'll be fine, just don't make her go to the electronic stores with you," Rose offered with a smile. "Anyway, this foul student gave you a piece of her mind?" Rose asked cheekily, reminding John that he was in the middle of telling the story of how they met.

Without a beat, John picked up right where he left off despite her distraction. "She gave me a five minute rant about how it wasn't fair to discriminate her because she came from a council estate and didn't have money for tutors like the rest of the students had," Rose nodded, that sounded like something she would have said a few years ago. "Afterwards she informed me that I was a terrible professor and she was going to drop my class for another instructor. But apparently she liked my response to her little rant because the next class period she walked in and plopped in the seat right in front of my desk."

"And what was this famous response of yours?" Rose exclaimed, making herself more comfortable on his desk. It was funny, that sounded so much like what she would have done if she was in that situation herself. Sure, it didn't mirror anything that had ever happened with the Doctor, but she liked how John had a unique story all his own.

"Well, I just cocked one eyebrow up and said in my cheekiest voice, 'Why don't you? It would be a relief to me to never have to listen to your excuses ever again. And apparently it'll be a relief for you to not have to listen to such a terrible teacher. In fact, if you continue to find the subject difficult I just might have to tutor you myself and we don't want that, do we? That would surely be traumatic for both of us. Having to find a time after hours to be alone together. Aren't I right, Ms. Tyler?' That shut her up rather quickly," John finished, leaving Rose wondering if he remembered his little speech word for word or not. It certainly surprised Rose, how forward John had been with one of his _students_ on his first day working. Of course, she was sure she had been giving him signals that she would be more than okay with him flirting with her. "The next class she sat there the entire class period, clicking her pen and rolling her eyes every single time I called on anymore except her," he paused, giving Rose a pointed look. "After class that day she came right up to me after everyone else had left and sat exactly as you are now on my desk."

"Sorry," Rose giggled, apologizing for something she had never done. Though that was just like her when she was in her late teens, forward and cheeky. "That must have been quite forward," she muttered, leaning forward and resting her chin on her palms.

"Don't ever apologize for that," John retorted, pushing back in his chair again to get more comfortable. "In fact, it was exactly what I'd been hoping for," he paused, winking at her. "We're getting off track though," he said quickly, taking a moment to put back on his stoic storyteller's mask again. "Weeeeeell, she sat there, biting on her lip waiting for me to say something. Then, when I acted like she wasn't there, she rather loudly proclaimed that she didn't understand a single thing about physics. In fact, she said that she was rather confident that she was going to fail out and be forced to drop out of university because of this class. And, of course, it was all my fault."

Rose closed her eyes, tying to imagine what it was like to be seeing these memories right now like John was. "And you, being the ever so kind professor that you are, offered to help her, right?" she guessed, wondering how long it would take until they were properly together.

"Of course, I couldn't just let my poor student fail out, could I?" John joked, getting a surprisingly serious look on his face as he continued speaking. "So I sat up a time a few times a week where she could come to my office and I could help her with what she wasn't understanding."

"And that's when the story ends," Rose retorted. She knew she personally was really not good at physics and couldn't imagine every understanding it, even if John was tutoring her.

John sent her a soft smile before he began talking again. "And that was all it was for weeks, just meeting to go over problems. And whenever we had class she would walk in and greet me as 'Mr. Smith'. It was a joke of ours because we were on first name basis when I tutored her outside of class, of course," he paused, fiddling with a piece of paper on his desk. "But she was still my student and I had to treat her just like everyone else in the class. It was fairly obvious that she was my favorite student a few of her friends knew that I was tutoring her," he stopped, expecting her to interrupt again. When she didn't, he just kept talking. "I never called on her in class, was too well aware of her while I was teaching, taking notes and acting like she was only looking at me to see the board. Eventually the rumors started among the students at first."

"Sorry about that," Rose said, apologizing for something she had never really done. She wasn't entirely sure what the protocol about dating students was, but she assumed it was prohibited since the professor was in charge of grades. And, she supposed, it wouldn't entirely be possible for the instructor to remain impartial when they were sleeping with their student.

"It was a while ago, darling," John reminded her, leaning forwards and kissing her on the forehead before he continued on with his story. "I actually heard a group trying to figure out if we had ever shagged on my desk. After all, everyone could clearly see how comfortable she already was perched on the edge of my desk at the end of the class. Even my coworkers had heard something, but thankfully none of them said anything to me, but I knew quite a few of them had lost respect for me. After all, the university had hired me with no experience, which was unusual already. And now they thought I, a 29 year old intellectual, was fooling around with one of my students ten years my junior. And I was just so upset about it all because I wasn't doing anything wrong at all, I was just helping one of my students grasp the concept of physics," he paused in his ramble for a moment. Rose realized he had stopped calling her 'her', but was referring to her directly now. "Anyway, it was then that you suggested that we meet off campus instead of my office. You were sick of the comments you were getting when you walked past the secretary every night. By meeting somewhere else no one would have to know. So, that became the new routine. I stupidly thought that you just liked teasing boys for the longest time and I was just someone to play with to pass the time. It was a constant game, seeing how far I could push the flirting until it bordered on inappropriate and we got back to the books. But it was my favorite part of the day, sitting at a table with a beautiful blonde who I was already half in love with. But it wasn't until the night her car wouldn't start and I had to drive her home that I knew how deep we had gotten. I almost mucked up everything."

Rose noticed something sad in John's eyes and scooted over so that she was on his lap. He didn't oppose, instead wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on the top of her head. Rose had no idea what was coming next, but she knew it wasn't going to be good. She had a feeling she knew who it would involve judging by the look the Doctor had once shared in his eyes. Leaning back against him to assure that they had each other now, Rose waited for him to continue.

"Your _boyfriend_ was waiting for you outside of the door of your flat," John mumbled, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "Obviously he wasn't too happy to see you in a car with another guy. At the time I assumed he was still your boyfriend, had no idea that he was her abusive ex who wouldn't leave her alone," he paused. "I sometimes wish I could find him again just so I could punch him for all the times he hurt you," John took a deep breath, swallowing his anger before he continued. "That was why I was rather confused when you leaned over and kissed me with no warning. It's sad to admit, but I was more than pleased despite my confusion and perhaps I willingly returned the kiss and the next thing I knew the guy was knocking on the window, looking properly angry."

"I bet I was scared then," Rose winced, not fond of thinking about Jimmy. She couldn't believe that she had run away and dropped out of school for him and taken so long to leave him and come home again. This must have been included in John's memories because of the last time Jimmy had seen her. While out getting chips with the leather-clad Doctor, he had come over and told him to stay away from his woman. It is safe to say that by the end of that story the Doctor had Jimmy on the ground in seconds with a right hook and was already leading Rose back to the TARDIS before he staggered to his feet.

"Terrified, you practically ordered me to take you back to my apartment because you _couldn't_ get out of the car with him there. And you couldn't stay at your flat that night because he would just be waiting outside in the morning," John breathed out a bit of air. Obviously this part of the story still got to him, as it should. "You refused to tell me anything about who he was on the ride there, just sat there all huddled up in the seat staring off into space like you were trying to escape. At my flat, I offered to sleep on the couch so that you could take my bed and things could remain a facade of professionalism. After all, I still was your teacher and was terrified to what would happen if anyone found out about this," John explained, surprising Rose by how reserved he must have been. "Long story short, I woke up in the middle of the night to find you crying in the kitchen and we stayed up for hours. You told me everything about the bastard Jimmy Stone," he visibly shuddered as he said his name. "When I woke up the next morning with my student cuddled up next to me in bed I knew I had to distance myself from you. We hadn't slept together or anything, but waking up with you in my arms felt even more intimate than if we had. This would not only possibly get me fired, it could ruin her reputation with your fellow classmates and future professors."

Rose just tried to scoot closer to John, thinking back to how often the Doctor had distanced himself from her in the past. "How noble of you."

"Of course you didn't take it well when I sat you down that morning after making you pancakes and told you that we couldn't meet or talk anymore, basically breaking up with you for all intents and purposes. It was selfish of me, but I almost asked you to drop me class. I knew we could have a proper relationship if you did and I didn't want to wait until the end of the semester," he explained. "But you argued, too stubborn, so I had to lay down the guidelines. You promised to leave my classroom directly after class without lingering on my desk the next day and agreed to not resume our tutoring as usual. I had no idea how a tiny blonde could have that much power over me, it was impossibly hard for me to say that to you." he stopped, leaning down and kissing her lightly. "I always hated seeing you cry. But after you had opened up so much to me, you were sure things were changing between us, that I cared about you. Surprisingly, you still came to class, but sat in the back refused to meet my eye or acknowledge me. That lasted a few weeks and I still despise every second of it."

Surprised they had so many twists and turns in the story of how they met, Rose was intrigued, everything seemed so realistic. "You're so thick sometimes, John," Rose murmured, halfway to herself.

"I was a jerk. After all, I had willingly kissed you back, I was the one who had let you think we were what we weren't," he explained, still feeling guilty about that. "But when I passed back an exam and a student next to you noticed that she had received a high A, the rumors spread like wildfire again. Except this time the officials heard about it."

"That's why Elizabeth kissing you upset you so much," Rose mumbled half to herself, finally understanding a part of their unspoken fight that night.

"Exactly, though I am glad I was working at a different university by then because there was no way they would have believed me after my past at my first teaching job," John explained, squeezing Rose's hand as if to reassure her that Elizabeth was past them. "Anyhow, that led to an investigation about the nature of our relationship. Neither of us was lying, we weren't having sex so there was nothing out of bounds in us meeting to tutor you. There was nothing more they could say of our relationship than a student and professor who got a bit too comfortable when he tutored her. Still, they let us know that we were going to be watched. That was when you stopped coming to my class," John worried his lip with his bottom lip for several moments. "That still upsets me more than anything, the fact that I couldn't even see you anymore. I missed you, Rose. More than anything else we were best friends and I trusted you with everything. So, once you had been absent for two weeks I went over to where you lived, only to be met by your mother who was visiting for the weekend."

Rose giggled at that, imagining what Jackie would have said to him. "Don't worry, she loves you now," Rose told him honestly. Jackie was not shy about her preference for the Doctor as a human.

With half a smile on his face, John continued. "Jackie spent more than an hour lecturing me about using her daughter. Let's just say that I will never release the specifics on that particular conversation, just that my cheeks were red from all the slaps I received by the time she kicked me out. I assumed it was over then. I told myself it was for the better, I could concentrate on teaching and maybe earn back some more of my reputation."

"That obviously didn't happen," Rose retorted, assuming that they were going to meet again in the story very soon.

John let out a chuckle, actually smiling now that he was done with the more emotional part of the story. "Jackie told you that that awful professor of yours had come to see you, concerned that you wasn't coming to class anymore. The next morning when I went in to work, guess who was sitting there perched on my desk?" he asked with a cheeky grin, poking Rose on the side. "You just sat there, dangling the spare key to my office I had given you months before with a huge smirk on your face. You proceeded to say what I was yearning to hear, 'I dropped your class. I don't know if I am being stupid, but I need to say this. I can't just sit there in your classroom anymore, pretending like I don't know the real _you_. Not blurting out that I know how you take your tea and that you match your socks to your tie, or the fact that it _kills_ me that sometimes you look so adorable and I can't just get up and kiss you. This isn't a fun game of teasing anymore and I _know_ that you feel the same way,'" John explained with a short kiss to her lips. "Long story short, I was late to my class that day because I was too busy kissing Rose Tyler. Just the way I had wanted to since the first moment I laid eyes on you."

Rose started to giggle at that, surprised everything had ended so beautifully. After his whole narrative she wished now more than ever that she had the same memories as him. It was just so damn romantic. Well, it was in her mind, but she was never a fan of the conventional ways a couple got together. Proof of that was how she ran off with the Doctor after he blew up her work.

"That night we went out on our first date, but I already told you that story," John exclaimed. "It was only a week later that you told me that you hadn't just dropped my class, but that you had dropped out of university. And that wasn't even my fault, you made sure to tell me, you couldn't afford tuition anymore and your mum had just lost her job as well. So you had to pick up more hours at the shop where you worked to help pay rent since you weren't getting any mother from Jackie anymore. I wasn't too pleased about it, but you wouldn't let my fork over a penny to help her go back to school. In fact, you still won't!" he finished, sending her a surprisingly annoyed glare. "Anyway, I'm getting off topic right now. There was nothing wrong with our relationship. Still, a few months later when everyone found out we were engaged, it just ended with half of the staff thinking I was despicable."

"Shame on them, thinking such rude thoughts about my wonderful husband," Rose pouted, nuzzling against his neck.

"Yep, and once I was _finally_ married to the blonde who stole my heart I knew we should move. I knew you hated it out there and always wanted to come back to London," John huffed out proudly. "Just think what would have become of Rose Tyler and John Smith if you hadn't pranced into my classroom wearing a skirt that had to have been illegal in at least five countries!"

Rose just smirked at him, getting off his lap and sitting back down on his desk. She had no idea how the TARDIS had put such a story in John's mind, but she decided not to dwell on that for the moment. "Professor Smith," Rose began, knowing she had made a good decision by the expression on John's face.

"Yes, Ms. Tyler," John responded with an expression that did not match his professional words one bit. "Do you need tutoring outside of class?"

"I just don't understand chemistry…" Rose exclaimed, biting her lip as she hoped she wasn't going too far. This wasn't something she was used to, wasn't sure if it was out of bounds in their relationship.

Apparently it wasn't because John quickly vacated his chair and casually knocked the extra papers littering his desk to the floor before he climbed onto the desk as well, hovering just inches above her. "Good, chemistry is one of my specialties."

"I was hoping—" Rose began to say, only to be cut off when John pressed his lips against hers, effectively stopping her words as her mouth found something else it would rather be doing at the moment. Yes, Rose decided, it was a _fantastic_ idea to ask John Smith how they met.

 **Please review for me! It makes me smile when I read them. :)**

 **Thanks,**

 **Gabrielle**


	7. Christmas Time

**So sorry I haven't updated, my life has been super crazy!**

 **Anyhow enjoy the chapter and please review to tell me what you think so far.**

Christmas Time

Soon after Rose realized that Christmas was quickly approaching, she went on a rampage trying to make everything absolutely perfect for this Christmas, the only one she would ever have with John. However, as the days until the holiday quickly flew by, she couldn't help but feel as if she were failing totally. Thankfully, she had managed to decorate the flat to her tastes – she and John had picked out a beautiful tree and spent hours stringing lights and hanging ornaments on it, it had been practically perfect. On their front door hung a homemade wreath that had taken John several hours to make. Rose had even found time to pick up some fantastic presents for her mother and her friends but where John was concerned, she still had no idea what she should buy him. She was strolling through yet another shop in search of the perfect Christmas present for John, hoping she could embody how important he was to her through that one day. In all too short a time, Rose would be forced to open the fob watch and let the Doctor reclaim his body, his identity, and his life. She felt frustrated and discouraged as she scoured the shop, seeing nothing at all to buy him yet again. John had hinted that he had a big surprise for her multiple times and she wanted to give him one that he would always remember, she knew she would never forget her time with him. Perhaps he would think of it even when he was gone and remained only in the depths of the Doctor's subconscious.

"May I help you?" one of the many shop workers politely asked as he walked up to Rose. Ever since she had stepped into the doors, she had wandered around and appeared rather lost.

"What do wives buy their husbands for Christmas?" Rose blurted out before she realized how rude that sounded and corrected herself. She was new to this thing, she had never bought anything for John before. "I mean…that sounded bad, but I am serious, do you have any ideas?"

The man, smiling confidently in such a way that made it easy to see that he never gave up an opportunity and nodded at Rose's fumbling question. "Well then, if anyone can help, it definitely would be me. My name is Jeremy, as you can see from my nametag," he finished with a cocky smile. "I'll try my best to help you find something here, but if that doesn't work out I would be more than happy to go out another day to another shop to look for something else with you."

"Thank you so much! I'm Rose. Rose Tyler Smith, by the way," Rose replied with excitement obvious in her voice. It was simply wonderful that someone had actually given her the time of day whilst shopping at such a nice store. The majority of the workers simply assumed that she wouldn't buy anything when they heard her Cockney accent. However, Rose was quite oblivious to the real reason that Jeremy was helping her.

"Well, our best selection is over here," Jeremy began as he walked over to the other side of the story. However, right after he said the words Rose's phone began to ring and she answered it, a bit embarrassed at the shrill sound of its ring in the middle of such a posh shop.

After talking on the phone for a few moments as Jeremy rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to hear what she was talking about, Rose turned back to him. "I'm sorry, I have to go right now."

"Here, give me your address so I can send you suggestions," Jeremy suggested, grinning when Rose quickly wrote it down on a slip of paper before leaving the shop.

…

"These are rubbish too!" Rose shrieked out in aggravation, pulling yet _another_ ruined pan of cookies out of the oven and slamming them down onto the counter.

John, walking into the room fresh from his shower, watched in utter amazement as Rose immediately got out the ingredients once more to try to make another countless batch of cookies. If this new batch was anything like her other rounds, it would very probable they would end up in failure and cause her to be even more frustrated. "Darling, you are going to use up every bit of food we have in the house if you keep going at this rate."

Rose just rolled her eyes at him, smacking his hand away when he tried to peel a burnt crisp of a peanut butter cookie off of the pan. "Stop it, those are just horrific! And I have to make one successful batch of cookies for Christmas! We only have one week left and I don't think I can make them by then…"

"You know I don't care about that, love. Anyway, why are you being so worked up about Christmas this year anyway?" he wondered aloud. Rose always enjoyed the holidays but Christmas was hardly her favorite.

"Because! Why not? Why can't we make good memories around this holiday?" Rose said, angrily turning towards John and waving her batter covered spoon at him.

"We can buy cookies, any kind you want," John joked as he quickly stole the bowl out of her arms. "Then we can pretend you made them and everyone can rave about how amazing they are. Does that sound like a good plan?"

"No, you suck at plans," Rose huffed back, yanking the bowl back from John and continuing to attempt to make the cookies.

"You want to play it that way, do you now?" John retorted, devilishly plunging him hand into the batter and licked it slowly from his fingers.

Rose, deciding there was only one way this could end now, effectively shoved John back against the kitchen counter and swiped her fingers over his sugar and battered covered lips, proclaiming that he had been a very bad boy indeed.

"And you aren't a bad girl?" John teased back, snaking his hand over back to the bowl as he grabbed the spoon and flicked it at Rose.

"Oi! It's all over my shirt now!" Rose sighed, looking down at the ruined shirt in annoyance.

"Well then, I guess you have to take it off," John whispered, going right to the task he had mentioned, rather pleased that Rose did not demand that she _had_ to make more cookies, but instead let him distract her with more entertaining matters.

Before they could do much more than have a good snog, the doorbell suddenly rang. As much as both John and Rose wanted to ignore the dinging noise, the person at the door was very persistent and the doorbell was pressed countless times.

With a groan of annoyance, Rose reluctantly pulled her shirt back on and straightened her clothing as much as possible before she hurried out of the kitchen to let the person in. She assumed it was her mother to come help make cookies with her as she had mentioned her failed attempts earlier on that day when she'd called her mum for baking advice. However, much to Rose's surprise a person she lease expected to see ever again stood at the door.

"Rose Tyler! I just knew it would be you! Jeremy, that guy from the shop told me about you. The way he described you, I just knew it had to be you. Still, it's fantastic to finally see you again! I didn't think I ever would again after Satellite Five," Captain Jack happily exclaimed, sweeping Rose up into a huge hug.

"Jack! What the hell, I thought you were dead! How did you ever get here?" Rose demanding, pulling out of the hug and studying Jack up and down to make sure he was actually here. If she wasn't so shocked to see him she would have commented on the Santa Claus hat that was perched on his head.

"Nah, the world needs my sexiness too much for me to die, Rosie. I'll explain later if you really want me too," Jack joked as he sent a huge wink at Rose, taking off the Christmas hat and stuffing it into his back pocket. "I used the vortex manipulator to travel back through time a bit. Speaking of which, where is the Doctor? And why are you supposedly living at rather upscale apartment? Wait a minute," he muttered, finally noticing Rose's disheveled appearance. "I came by just when you were in the middle of a certain something, didn't I?" Jack chuckled with a gleam in his eye. "I must say that I didn't really expect the big-eared fellow would _ever_ actually tell you how he felt even though it was quite obvious to everyone else. Obviously he has done a lot more than just talk. Looks like really _wasn't_ lying when he said he knew how to _dance_."

Before Rose had a chance to respond besides just blushing, John walked into the foyer. Thankfully he had reassembled his clothes back to their usual look. Rose was more than a little miffed to see that he was looking much more put together than her even though he was still carrying the bowl of dough around with him and slowly eating his way through the batter. Seeing Rose talking to an attractive and flirty man, John smirked and went over to Rose and wrapped his arm around her waist in a possessive manner. He wanted to ensure that this man knew that Rose was spoken for.

"Who the hell are you?" Jack asked the strange man brown hair that stood on end. "Who are you and what are you doing with Rose? What happened to the Doctor?"

"I'm John Smith, her _husband_ ," John responded, not noticing how tense Rose suddenly was. "And the Doctor? Doctor who?" he added, baffled and knowing that this man _could not_ be referring to his nightly dreams. He'd only shared them with his wife and she would never reveal his secrets like that to anyone.

"Jack, please shut up this instant, or else I will make sure you can never speak again," Rose warned, shooting a dagger-filled glare at Jack as he looked back and forth between John and Rose.

"No Rose, I will not shut up! What are you now? What kind of fake name is John Smith anyway? That is obviously a false name. What have you been doing to Rose Tyler? She wouldn't willingly leave the Doctor and you sure as hell aren't him."

Rose, knowing there was no good way out of this, decided to go with her gut instinct and suggested that John leave the room so that she could talk to Jack in private in an attempt to calm him down. She subtly hinted that the American captain could very well be suffering from some kind of horrific head injury. After a few moments of tense hesitation, John kissed Rose's forehead before he slunk out of the room. He wished he could order the man out of his home right now but this dark-haired and blue-eyed American was someone Rose obviously knew quite well. There was something that bothered him about this Jack but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Explain right now, Rose Marion Tyler," Jack demanded, turning to look at Rose in shock and anger at what he had just seen.

"The Doctor regenerated. He looks like John. I mean, John _is_ him, or used to be I guess. We are hiding from these aliens, the Family of Blood, and the Doctor had to turn himself human for three months. So basically, he is John Smith right now. John has no idea who you are or anything about his life as the Doctor. It could be very dangerous to say anything while he's like this, so you better not tell him one thing."

"Uhh…so I assume you weren't married to him _before_?" Jack asked with a wicked grin as he glanced around the fancy room, not sure what else to ask.

"Of course not," Rose sighed as she heard John call her from the other room. She automatically could tell from his tone of voice that he was not happy with the interruption in their recent bout of intimacy and that he would not take it well if she suggested going out to eat with Jack or inviting the American in for supper. Not that she really wanted to miss the chance to make love with her husband. God knew that Rose had little enough time with him as it was.

"I'm getting the feeling I should go now, am I correct?" Jack asked, relieved when Rose quickly nodded yes and assured him in a rushed undertone that she would meet with him sometime soon and give him the entire truth.

…

The days passed both too quickly and too slowly. Rose woke up on Christmas morning, surprised to see that John was not in the bed next to her. Normally, he woke her up with a kiss that, more often than not, led to a quick but intense round of lovemaking. Getting up with a groan and leaving the bedroom to find John, Rose was surprised by the smell of something burning and quickly made her way to the kitchen instead.

"John! You are going to burn the house down!" Rose shouted as she ran over to the stove and turned it off, hissing in annoyance at the now completely blackened attempt to make pancakes and that fact that John was nowhere to be seen.

This was one of those times when Rose realized how alike John and the Doctor actually were. She assumed John had gotten distracted doing something else and forgot he had even been attempting to make pancakes for breakfast. With a smirk, Rose went where she was almost positive John would be right now. In the mornings if he wasn't in bed with her, he could usually be found in the study reading. He escaped to his books in much the way the Doctor always tinkered with the TARDIS in the console room.

"John, if you are going to attempt to make breakfast you should at least remember it and not leave it to burn and ruin the pans. Seriously, are you five years old now?" Rose said as she walked into the study and saw John leaning back at his desk, his face buried behind a large book.

When he comprehended what Rose had just said, John clumsily jumped out of his chair and rushed past his wife towards the kitchen. Rose couldn't help but let out a small giggle at his sudden exit, trailing behind him to the kitchen as she watched him curse as he tried to scrape off the burnt pancake remnants off of the pan.

"Happy Christmas to you, too," Rose called out as she came up and hugged him from behind him, wrapping her arms around his familiar waist and pressing her face against his back. She breathed in his scent. It was something that he always shared with the Doctor – the smell of honey and adventure.

"Sorry about the pancakes, love," he sincerely apologized. "I suppose we will have to make do with the chocolate chip cookies you finally managed to make," John joked, pulling Rose into his arms for a quick kiss.

"Breakfast can wait a while longer," she grinned. "As a matter of fact, I demand you to give me your present now! You said it was fantastic before and there's no time like the present to surprise me with a present!" Rose exclaimed in amusement as she skipped into the room where the large tree was set up, picking up her present for John and pushing it into his arms.

John shook the present like a child, but then his face grew serious. "No, you first this year!" John laughed, presenting her with two rather large boxes. "I was going to get you roses too, but I decided I could never find a rose more beautiful than you."

Rose couldn't help but giggle. "Oi, that line is so overused with my name. But I appreciate the sentiment, sweetie," At that, Rose turned to the larger box, ripping the paper open like a little kid. However, when she opened the box, there seemed to be nothing inside. As if sensing her confusion, John reached in through the mounds of tissue paper and handed her a small box with a grin on his face. Glancing up at him in amusement that he had used such a big box for something so small, Rose gently opened the lid.

"Well, I know how much you liked the journal I wrote my dreams in, so I made you that," John explained, pulling out the beautiful necklace that was a perfect miniaturized version of the TARDIS and gently clasping it around her neck. "I looked everywhere for one that looked like the police box, but I couldn't find it. So I met with this sweet old lady that made jewelry. She was so kind that she taught me how to make the jewelry out of gold. Practically every day I've gone over to her house and worked on it with her. I just finished it last week and, if I do say so myself, I think I did a fairly good job. I mean, you always wear that old key thing around your neck and I think this would be lovely for you to wear as well."

"Oh, it's wonderful," Rose exclaimed, kissing John as she thought of how much intricate details and work had gone into that necklace. She knew that, no matter what happened, she would treasure this gift forever. "I don't know how the other one will beat it," Rose murmured half to herself as she opened the next present, loving what she unwrapped just as much. John had sketched a beautiful portrait of her that made her look so much prettier than she actually was. Rose closed her eyes for a moment, thinking how the Doctor was only capable of drawing a stick person, unlike John. Thinking of the Doctor, her eyes flitted over to the closet where she had hidden a present she had bought for the Doctor, wondering when she would have a chance to give it to him.

"I think it's my turn now!" John squealed, pretending like he was a little kid as he sat on the floor and slowly unwrapped her present. "Oh, what is this?"

"You can write your dreams in it. Isn't it perfect?" Rose asked. John smiled as he looked down at the journal, it was blue and looked like the TARDIS door, just waiting to be filled with his writing. In addition to that, Rose had bought him an expensive watch, explaining that he shouldn't use that old fob watch anymore. Truthfully, she knew she would feel safer when she was in the possession of the precious watch and since it was a gift from her he was sure to use it now. "Wait, I have one other thing."

John sat confused as Rose got up and got a stocking out from the closet and handed it to him. Opening it, he laughed out loud as multiple pears rolled out onto his lap. The entire stocking was full of pears! "Rose, you are the most amusing woman I've ever met!"

"What can I say?" Rose laughed, unable to say that he was the most amazing man ever after she met the Doctor. "I'm just that special!" Rose scrunched up her nose, perfectly content sitting with her husband in their large living room.

…

"Rose, sweetheart, you two finally showed up! About time I would say, I thought you weren't going to visit your old Mum for a while," Jackie announced, pulling Rose in for a tight hug before she turned to John. Grabbing him, she hugged him tight and kissed his cheek, amused that John acted the exact same way that the Doctor did during these situations with her.

Rose just laughed, excitedly explaining what John had gotten her for Christmas, amused by Jackie's incredulous expression.

"Oi, stop looking at me like that," John exclaimed, playfully smacking Rose on the back of the head as he went into the kitchen to get some tea.

"Rose, I sure will miss John when the Doctor comes back," Jackie muttered to Rose the moment John left the room, not hiding her feelings that she liked John so much more than the Doctor, something that Rose was not too fond of.

Rose shot Jackie a sharp look of annoyance before she responded. "Don't say that like having the Doctor back will be a bad thing. I mean, obviously we will all terribly miss John – me more than anyone - but we will get _the Doctor_ back so it's not all bad. It'll take time, but everything will be okay again eventually."

"Keep saying that to yourself, sweetheart," Jackie whispered, knowing that her words were truer than Rose's at the moment. With a mother's intuition, she could tell that Rose was actually torn about letting John go and the Doctor return. Jackie knew that Rose loved both men equally but if she could convince her daughter to stay with John, then perhaps Jackie wouldn't have to worry about Rose dying in some far off place and time. Perhaps she'd be able to have grandchildren who wouldn't be running off with their mad father in a blue box. For now, however, Jackie knew she needed to keep quiet. Rose would do the right thing in the end. Just like her father would have.

After that encounter, Christmas progressed as it usually did at the Tyler household, something that Rose was very grateful for as it made everything seem more real. She needed something to make her remember this was reality, even if it was just an illusion.

Throughout the day, Rose's mind wandered back to the Christmas last year when the Doctor had just regenerated. She remembered watching her big-eared, leather-clad rough Northerner explode in a shower of golden light, transforming into the slim, foxy, brown-haired and brown-eyed Doctor she loved. Although his physical body was here, the Doctor was locked in a watch and she was here with a different man. That man, the man she was most definitely in love with as well, was so amazing in her life. She knew it couldn't last forever, something was going to break the happy spell she was under. She could almost feel it undergirding the entire Christmas day. Pushing those thoughts aside, Rose decided to have the best Christmas day she could with John, committing the day to memory, knowing she could never forget any moment she had with John.

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of entirely fluff! And also the added bonus of Jack.**

 **Please don't forget to follow and review to win my hearts. ;)**

 **Love,**

 **Gabrielle**


	8. The Big Questions

**Hey guys! So this chapter jumps around a lot, but a lot of important stuff happens in this chapter, so pay attention.**

 **So please read on and enjoy!**

 **And don't forget to review at the bottom.**

The Big Questions

"Sorry I'm late," Rose said as she met up with Emma at the redhead's apartment in a rougher part of the city. It made Rose feel a bit homesick for her mum's small flat and the neighborhood she's been raised in. She still wasn't completely used to the post part of town the flat where she and John lived was located. For God's sake, the flat even had a doorman. "I had to close up the cafe tonight."

"Oh, no problem there at all, Rosie!" Emma squealed as she looked up and down at the blonde. Instead of letting her inside, she asked Rose if she would mind taking a bit of a walk around. Emma was loving the wintry air and wanted to stroll down to the nearest park so they could make footprints through the freshly fallen snow. Her adventurous spirit was one of the many reasons why Rose loved having Emma as a friend.

Rose tugged her coat more snugly around her body, and gave a moment's silent gratitude that John had pulled the hat down over her ears before she went to work today. Then Rose followed after Emma, calling out to her that she was skipping ahead too much. "Oi, slow down for the old lady! What's got you so excited right now anyway?" Rose rubbed her clammy forehead a bit – she had been feeling dizzy off and on for the past few days and still wasn't sure why.

"Nothing in particular! Everything has just been going so wonderfully with Paul! I know that we haven't been seeing each other very long, but this is honestly the best relationship I've _ever_ been in!" Emma said excitedly, shooting Rose a wide smile. She suddenly stopped and ran over to a snow-covered tree and shook its branches so that she was surrounded by a cascade of the pure white snow.

Rose laughed in surprise, loving how full of pep and vigor Emma always was. She was very glad they had become good friends outside of work. Rose was happy to have someone besides John to spend time with, not that she didn't like the time she spent with John. Another bonus was that it made everything seem a bit more real for her, as if this was her real life instead of a three month detour. However, before she could join Emma by the tree, someone bumped into her, causing her to lose her footing and almost fall to the ground.

"Oh, excuse me," Rose whispered in surprise, glancing over to look to see who had bumped her was and was shocked when she recognized the woman. Standing in front of her was Elizabeth Baxter, the very same woman who had thrown herself at John while she was his student. John assured Rose that not long after the incident, Elizabeth had dropped his class and he hadn't even seen her around the campus since then.

Elizabeth gave Rose such a dark glare that it sent shivers up Rose's spine, sensing the cold hatred as it practically seeped into her very bones. Elizabeth turned on her heels and stormed off in the other direction. It was obvious that she had recognized who Rose was by her actions, they hadn't parted on the best of terms. Shrugging her shoulders and deciding that Elizabeth was not worth worrying over, Rose ran over to Emma, surprised when she couldn't find her friend by the tree where she had seen her last. Multiple scenarios of a terrible alien abduction rushed through her head as she tried to form a plan without the Doctor. Although she didn't have his brains or sonic, she had learned a lot and had a bit of confidence that she could save her friend.

"I GOT YOU!" Emma shouted, running out from behind a bush and throwing a huge snowball right at Rose's face, practically soaking her. Rose, although she was wet now, was immensely relieved that Emma had just been playing a trick on her. She would take a cold snowball to the face over aliens plotting to take over the world any day.

"Just you wait! Rose Tyler Smith doesn't give up that easily!" Rose responded with a playful glint in her hazel eyes, leaning down to make her own snowball. It went on like that for what felt like hours, just playing like a kid with Emma and she loved every moment of it. It was carefree and it was wonderful. Finally collapsing with giggles onto the snowy ground, neither of them caring how silly they looked, Rose glanced up at the starry sky, feeling a sudden emptiness that she was no longer up there traveling the stars with the Doctor. She hadn't realized how much she missed the excitement, even if that meant spending more than a few nights in alien prisons.

Breaking her out of her thoughts was the sharp jangle of Emma's phone. Emma automatically answered her phone, jumping enthusiastically to her feet with a wayward glance at Rose. The love-struck look on her face made it quite obvious that it was Paul on the other end as she ambled away from Rose to talk to her boyfriend.

Rose remained lying down, staring up at the stars and remembering all the times she had wished to travel them. Never had she imagined she, an estate girl without her A-levels, would be able to know some of there names. She thought she was dreaming when she caught something out of the corner of her eye, jerking her out of her mind. Surprised and in no little bit of awe, Rose sat up slowly, staring up at the tree where a man was perched up on the top branches. He appeared to be perfectly comfortable up there and must have been hiding in the tree for quite some time if she hadn't seen him climbing it earlier. What would compel a grown man to climb a precariously tall tree and sit there in the dead of winter baffled her.

"What are you doing up there?" Rose called out, straining to reach for the lower branches as she wondered how the man had possibly accomplished such a feat as she tried to get a good look at him. "Do you need help getting down?" she asked again, hoping that he hadn't been stuck up high for hours without being noticed.

"Nah, I've got it!" the stranger called out, surprising Rose as he began to climb down the tree, nimble as a young boy and easily landing on his feet as he turned to face her. It had only taken a few seconds and he hadn't struggled a bit, it was as if he knew exactly which branches would hold him and what trajectory to jump from.

"Hello, I'm Rose," Rose began to say, extending her hand out to the man and slightly cocking her head as she observed him. It was odd. She felt as if she should know him, and even though she had never seen this face before, she felt connected to him. He had kind eyes, a rather wide nose, a pointy chin, and a high forehead. His eyebrows were so light that it took her a moment to even notice that he had them. Atop of that strange head was a mop of light brown floppy hair, but the thing she noticed immediately about the man were his clothes. He had on a tweed jacket that looked like something her grandfather would have worn, slightly too short dress pants, and a bow tie. And from his open jacket Rose was sure she could see a bit of unneeded suspenders peeking out as well.

The man's face spread into a huge smile as he looked at her, but his eyes looked terribly sad at the same time. The combination of his youthful appearance and ancient eyes struck something deep within her, but she couldn't exactly place it. She almost had to restrain herself from hugging this stranger, she just felt such a need to reassure him that she was here and everything would be alright. But she couldn't do that, she didn't know him and she certainly knew that there were times when nothing was right. "You were looking at the stars…" he whispered, staring at her the same way a man in a desert would gaze upon a watery oasis after days of wandering.

"Yeah, I have always been fascinated with them. You know, if I could, I would spend my whole life traveling among them," Rose explained, surprised by what she was telling this odd man who was studying her so intensely it nearly frightened her. Why did her answer matter so much to him? Maybe she shouldn't have been so eager to strike up a conversation with him...

"And you will. If anyone will, I think it'll be you," the man said, turning to hide his face from her in such a way that Rose wondered if he had tears in his eyes that he didn't want her to see. "I think you would be fantastic," he paused and gazed deep in her eyes. Rose swallowed back the lump in her throat. The way he had annunciation the word reminded her too much of her first Doctor. "Don't give up on yourself. No matter _what_ happens - no matter how much you think it is the end…you will _never_ be truly alone. Someday, after you have finished crying and cursing everyone who has ever lived, you will look back and understand just _how_ loved you were," he broke off then, a crooked smile on his face for half a second.

Rose didn't know what to think of this man. He was saying such odd things to her; things she almost thought she should understand, as if they had already happened to her. Before she could say anything else, before she could question him further or get a good look into his strangely familiar eyes, the man turned and ran away from her towards a dark alley. She noticed him pause, turning around for a moment to gaze at her before he was dashed in the shadows. Rose could have sworn her life that she had seen a tear trailing its way down his face.

"Who was _he_?" Emma asked as she came up behind Rose a moment later. She had said goodbye to Paul just in time to see a strange man leap out of the tree and speak with Rose.

"Just some bloke," Rose whispered, unsure of why she felt like she was about to cry. But she knew why, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself just yet. Only minutes after the strange man had left, she had heard a sound, a familiar noise she would know anywhere. And that noise alone terrified her because now she _knew_ for sure _._ She _knew_ how her story would end and her heart was already tearing into two. The Doctor would never be able to accept her again. He would return, John would vanish, and Rose would be left alone. This was her consolation prize, getting an apology from the future Doctor.

Plastering a fake smile on her face to mask her sudden revelation, Rose turned towards Emma, throwing herself into the rest of their night of fun. Despite her efforts, Rose kept on hearing the echo of the man's voice in her mind. _Doctor,_ she thought, wishing he could hear her thoughts. _Forgive me for loving you…_

…

"Jack? Are you honestly calling me right now?" Rose demanded as she sleepily answered her phone that had started ringing and woke her up. She didn't bother checking the clock, not wanting to see what ungodly hour it was. It was probably very early in the morning – the sun hadn't even risen yet and everything still had that quiet stillness that was present in the early hours of the day. "You do know that tomorrow is New Years, don't you? I probably won't sleep tonight and I was planning on sleeping in today."

"Stop your complaining, Rosie," Jack responded impatiently, sounding annoyingly chipper. "You promised me answers and I'm tired of waiting," he quickly informed Rose where to meet him, giving her fifteen minutes' time to get ready. Before she hung up he hissed that if she didn't get up this instant to get ready and head down there to meet him he would come looking for her on his own. And Rose knew John wouldn't be too pleased with Jack turning up early in the morning and dragging her off somewhere. She had barely been able to avoid a spat last time the two men had been in the same room.

Rose sighed in annoyance as she tried to find the motivation to get out of bed. She always imagined that Jack was the type to sleep in late. God knows what he was doing at night anyway. She had known in the first few minutes she had met him that he could practically pick up anyone or anything if given a few minutes. Why he was an early riser – considering just how frequently he must entertain overnight guests – was well beyond her.

"What are you doing?" John muttered, turning over to cover his face with a pillow before he glanced around the room. "It's four in the morning, Rose," John mumbled sleepily when Rose got out of bed, urging her to come back to bed again.

"Just go back to sleep," Rose replied, trying to keep the annoyance at being woken so early out of her voice. The last thing she wanted was for John to be suspicious. She went to the closet, grabbing the first things her hands touched and pulling them on. She didn't care if she looked presentable, it wasn't like she would see much of anyone other than Jack.

John sat up in bed then, still half asleep, muttering a barely coherent sentence. "Rose don't leave, I have nightmares when you aren't next to me," Rose paused for a moment, surprised at his words. She knew that at times his memories from the Doctor were rather terrifying, but she had no idea that her being there with him had such an effect on him. However, she pushed the thought away from her mind to ponder at a later time and continued to get ready despite John's protests.

"Just meeting an old friend. I will be home before you miss me, yeah?" Rose explained, giving John a quick kiss before she left. She wondered how Jack would take everything she needed to tell him. Rose sighed aloud as she walked down the empty street. Jack was not going to handle this well – especially when he figured out that Rose was secretly of two minds about whether to open the fob watch or not.

Walking into the café, Rose wasn't surprised that Jack was already sitting there waiting for her. Americans were still the most impatient and impetuous people on the planet according to her. They had to have everything their way and right away. Still, she smiled, his familiar long coat bringing back happy memories as she skipped over to her old friend and pulled him in for a hug. Rose had really missed him and it was still odd to see him alive.

"Blondie, sit and speak to me _now,"_ Jack announced, obviously deciding to get straight down to business. "You have a _lot_ of explaining to do. Bu before you begin, I have the most important question to ask you first," Jack grinned cheekily, smirking at Rose as she nodded him on to continue as she sat down across from him, rolling her eyes at the wink that he sent her way. "How is the Doctor in bed?"

At his pointed question, Rose almost choked on the tea she was drinking, glaring at him in annoyance as she wiped off her chin and grimaced at the stain on her shirt. She should have known that would be the first thing he would ask about, as he was still _Jack._ "None of your business," she growled, hardly believing Jack had the audacity to ask such a thing. "Plus, John isn't exactly the Doctor so I technically have never been in bed with the Doctor."

"Sure you have," Jack laughed, considering himself the ultimate authority on the subject, which Rose supposed he was. "Same body so it counts just the same. I mean, he's got the same tools. John may just use them differently than the Doctor would, that's the only difference really," he finished with an eyebrow roll. Rose just decided to ignore him, taking another sip of tea and trying to wake herself up more. "So, come on, Rosie, give me something to work with!" Jack begged a few minutes later, the amused look on his face making Rose smile as well before she dissolved into giggles despite her initial annoyance.

"The answer is still no, Jack," she admitted between giggles. No matter how Jack annoyed her, she always had a soft spot in her heart for him. "That is between him and me. All I can say is that I'm pretty sure you will never find out, so give up the fantasy," Rose smirked, happy to see Jack's depressed expression before changing the topic to the real reason they were here. Rose knew that Jack was just trying to ease the tension, for which she was thankful. "So, now that you have stopped being immature, what do you want to ask me about all of this?"

"Well, first of all, why did the Doctor have to turn himself human?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned towards her.

Rose sighed, prepared to tell Jack everything that she had on her chest, it would be nice to speak freely. Sure, she could tell her mother everything and she did, but Jackie had never traveled with the Doctor like Jack had. "Well, it was a normal day when we were suddenly attacked by these aliens, the Family of Blood the Doctor called them. We both got into the TARDIS safe and all that, but then they were tracking the TARDIS," she explained quickly, having perfected her story from the many times she had shared it with her mother. "They were going to catch us no matter what we did because they could sense the Doctor's Time Lord essence or something. So, he had to hide out so they couldn't sense him anymore. He used this thing that rewrote all of his cells to be human and contained his true self and all his memories in a fob watch that I am supposed to open when the time is right," she paused, glancing up to make sure that Jack was following her story. "You see, the Family only lives three months, which is why they want the Doctor. Absorbing him would allow them to become immortal. Once he turned into a human, the TARDIS transplanted another life into his head…and I was his _wife_ ," she sighed, finally done with the story. It was so much more complex than that, but she didn't have time to spill her guts about her conflicting emotions to Jack right now.

"Wow, Rosie…at least you both got out of their safe," Jack paused, obviously trying to think of what to say next. "But why did the Doctor make you his wife? That really doesn't seem like him at all," Jack whispered, thinking of all the information he was receiving from Rose. He felt the need to question her further – he wanted her to open that damned watch and bring the Doctor that he had been searching for so long so that he could interrogate the Time Lord. That information could be vital for the continued expansion of Torchwood.

"He didn't choose his backstory! It was a surprise to me, as well. I mean, though, it's not like I'm going to complain about it because I simply adore John," she blushed, admitting her feelings.

"Wait a minute. What is that I see in your face?" Jack asked, knowing exactly what he saw, but needing Rose to confirm it. "You aren't acting are you? You _are_ in love with John?" he finished, the silence filling the empty cafe.

Rose was silent as she fiddled with the salt shaker, finally speaking up again moments later. "Of course, how could I not be?" she admitted, finally at peace with admitting her love for him. "John is a good man and he loves me. It was kind of inevitable that I would fall in love with him, too," she whispered wistfully, hoping that Jack would understand just how torn she was between the human who thought her his wife and the Doctor who she was sure would leave her after this…even if John had hinted more than once that the Doctor loved her. She couldn't afford to think about that, especially after her meeting with the tweed jacket Doctor.

"But you _are_ going to open the watch, right? I mean, you aren't going to trap the Doctor in there forever?" Jack gasped, looking into Rose's eyes and was shocked with what he saw. "You want to, don't you?" he asked as Rose didn't answer immediately.

"Jack, don't turn this around on me now," Rose muttered, her hazel eyes flashing as she looked up at Captain Jack Harkness. She was stressed enough already, she didn't need Jack to sit there judging her. "I have a _life_ with John, a life that I love…a life I could _never_ dream of having with the Doctor."

"You can't do that to him, Rose! You can't trap the Doctor in a watch!" Jack argued back, the argument one Rose had had with herself everyday these last few weeks. "He will know you did it when you open the watch and that will kill him. Don't give up on him Rose! I know you love the Doctor, you were in love with him when I first met you," Jack paused as Rose tried to figure out how to respond. Everything Jack had said was true, but he didn't know everything from her point of view. "Don't give all of that up for a man who isn't even real!" Jack exclaimed, reaching out to grab Rose's hand as she yanked it away.

Rose suddenly stood up, glaring down at Jack. She was okay with him picking apart her life choices, but she wouldn't allow him to insult John like that. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare say that John isn't real!" Rose hissed, knowing how complex John truly was. "He _is_ real! He is a part of my life and I can't just forget him. I have feelings besides just wanting to shag everything that moves, unlike you!" she finished with a huff, gathering her stuff up to leave. If Jack was just going to attack her she didn't need to sit through this.

"Don't act like this now, Rose! I know you better than this!" Jack called after her as she made her way out of the cafe, not making to physically stop her. After all, it was her choice.

"No, stay away from me and my husband! If I ever see you anywhere near him or if you even try to contact me I will make sure you can't return so just _shut up_ ," Rose yelled, quickly running out of the café and slamming the door behind her. She left Jack sitting alone in his chair, wondering how he was going to fix this now.

…

Very early the next morning, Rose and John stumbled into their flat, both slightly tipsy from the New Year's party they had just attended. Rose knew that it wasn't possible for the Doctor to get drunk, but John often imbibed a bit more than he should. Not that she could say that she minded – he lost all sense of propriety when he was even a tad tipsy. She found it adorable.

"Guess what, Rose?" John said loudly, picking her up and setting her down onto a decorative table that they never really used in their bedroom.

"What, my lovely husband?" Rose asked, enjoying the feeling of saying the word _husband_ as she spoke, especially when the man in front of her was John Smith. Her heart skipped a few beats when he pressed his body against hers, snaking his arms down her back and tugging her shirt out of her short skirt.

"We made it through yet another year! Remember our first New Year?" John asked enthusiastically, continuing when Rose didn't respond. "We had only been dating about a month and we were having a fight?" John began to say, continuing down memory lane at Rose's amused expression. "You told me you would only give _me_ a second chance because I usually wasn't such a prick as most guys. But, being the complicated woman that you are, Rose, of course, you told me that the only way I could get you back was if I sang a song for you…and you got to choose it."

Rose snorted with laughter and pressed her head against his shoulder, feeling as if she was sure she instinctively knew what song it was. She had heard the Doctor sing the song enough times... "The Proclaimers…500 Miles."

"Good, you remembered! I would be upset if you didn't. Weeeeeell, of _course_ I marched right up there and gave the best performance of my life," John whispered, remembering the exact details of the night with Rose, most of his life seemed like straight facts, but every memory of Rose seemed so real to him as if it was happening right now. "The next morning you swore you just pitied me because I embarrassed myself so much…but I know you were just joking."

"We've had good times, you and I," Rose mumbled, willing herself not to cry as she wished she actually had those memories with John Smith. However, she did have all of her memories of traveling with the Doctor and she wouldn't give that up for anything.

"And more to come…so much more Rose…actually, I have something to ask you," John sighed, suddenly acting very nervous now. Rose thought was one of the most adorable things she had ever seen. His hands were wandering up and down her back and she knew it wouldn't be much longer before he lost what little resistance he had and carried her to their bed.

Taking advantage of his brief hesitation, Rose leaned in and captured his lips with hers, smiling as his hesitation quickly evaporated. "We have time later, yeah? In the meantime, we have other things to be doing…"

Losing herself in the moment, Rose pushed her conversation with Jack to the back of her mind.

…

Sighing in contentment the next morning as John took one of her feet into his hands and began to massage it while she lounged in the bath, Rose gave him her thanks by scooping up a pile of bubbles as blowing them at him so it looked like he had a white beard. He grinned at her, adoring the way she constantly teased and toyed with him. Just a glance from Rose could make his blood boil for her where even the most outrageous acts from any other woman would leave him cold.

"How mature, Rose," John laughed as he attempted to be mature and simply wiped the beard off his face, much to her disappointment.

After several minutes of silence while she relaxed into the tub, simply enjoying each other's mere presence, John broke the silence with a sudden question. "Rose, remember what we talked about this past summer? I mean, I tried to bring it up last night, too," As he said the words his fingers continued to work at her feet. Once he felt them relax, he lightly ran his hands up and down her calves, grinning when he felt her involuntary shiver.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Rose asked, assuming that whatever he was talking about was part of the story the TARDIS had given him when he became John Smith. She was so relaxed right now, had no idea why John had wanted to pamper her today. But here she was, lounging in a bubble bath while he gave her a foot massage. In the back of her mind Rose wondered if the Doctor would object to domestics so much if he knew things as comfortable as this could exist.

"You know what I mean. About starting a family," John continued, not realizing how Rose froze as he dropped the bomb. "I mean, I know you are still young and all so there isn't really a rush that way, but I thought you seemed pretty open to the situation this summer and I think right now would be a perfect time to start trying, what with it being a brand new year and all," he glanced down at her shyly. "I would love it, Rose, to have a child with you."

"What?" Rose said in shock, too surprised to pretend like she had talked to him about it before. She wondered why in the hell the Doctor would be stupid enough to ever let that thought reach his human self's mind because there was no way that could even be an option. She couldn't do that to the Doctor, to either of them really. The fact that he had felt confident enough in her answer to ask her outright twisted her heart.

John's face suddenly fell into a pitiful expression before he plastered an obviously fake smile on his face and responded a little _too_ enthusiastically. "Well, I mean, things have been going so well between us lately. It just seems like a sign that it is time. I have that new job now and we have this nice apartment, but it has too many empty rooms. We have everything we could ever need for a little one. I know you want kids someday Rose, so why _not_ today? Just think, in a year we could have a little baby. A little blonde-haired girl as beautiful as her mother," John rambled quickly, obviously trying to grab onto loose straws.

Rose knew she probably looked like a fish gasping for air as she thought of how she could respond. Although Rose had never thought about children much before, especially aboard the TARDIS where the idea was just _ridiculous_ , she had always assumed she would eventually have kids someday. After all, it was the normal thing to do, but that someday was when she was grown up in the more distant future. "Like do you just want to talk about the possibility right now, or do you want to actually try to…make one right now?" she asked at last, hoping John didn't notice how pale she was.

"I think we have already established that it is a possibility, sweetheart," John paused, a worried expression briefly crossing his face. "We both love kids and are lucky enough to be in a situation like this. And we've been married more than a year now, Rose. But you keep on dodging my question," John said, the hope so evident in his voice as he imagined having a family with the love of his life, the hope that Rose scrambled for a way to answer without hurting him more than she had too.

"John, I don't know," Rose sighed, wondering how she could handle more time of this. There was definitely no way this could ever work out. Especially after her conversation with Jack, she knew she couldn't do this to the Doctor. She felt so guilty and empty now. She wished she could tell him everything, but then he would hate her, so she would have to lie.

"Rose, I want you to have my child. I want to see you growing with _our_ baby. I want to hold your hand while we raise our child together. Please, don't say no without considering it a little more, love," John finished, biting his lip. He was staring at the ground, obviously surprised by how the conversation had gone.

"I _am_ thinking about it, John. I won't say no to you right now, I just need some time to think. Now, just come here for now," Rose whispered, her heart breaking for the human man in front of her as he leaned forward and pulled her in for a gentle kiss. She knew her words were a lie because she couldn't think about it. She already had her answer and she couldn't change it. Even if part of her really wanted this as well.

Wrapping her hands around his neck, Rose giggled as she heard water flow over the top of the bathtub and splash on the floor when she scooted towards him as he returned the kiss with an intensity that he hoped would convey how much he wanted her to have his child. Moving her lips against his, Rose suppressed a sigh. She wanted to have his baby, but she couldn't and, perhaps, never would.

 **I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think of everything that is happening. What should Rose do?**

 **Let me know all thoughts in a review!**

 **Thanks and I love you all,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **Paul sniffed her hair again, not even trying to hide what he was doing. That was really beginning to creep Rose out and her sensors were on high alert. She was confident in her skills, but the Doctor and the TARDIS were not waiting to rescue her. He let out a dark chuckle before speaking up again. "That I don't want her. She isn't what I need. Not anymore."**


	9. Today was a Fairy Tale

**Hey guys! I am proud to announce I have another chapter ready for you.**

 **I hope that you enjoy this chapter and are not disappointed!**

 **Please read on, enjoy, and review!**

Today was a Fairy Tale

In the countless days that followed, Rose felt as if she was walking on broken glass. She couldn't help but love every single second of it with all of her being. She knew it was only going to hurt her later, but it was already too late to turn around now. John was almost everything she had ever dreamed of having in a husband and lover. And he reminded her so much of the Doctor while stilling being his own distinct person. And yet, with each passing day, she was forced to remind herself that the Doctor would return. And the Doctor sneered at the merest mention of 'domestics'. She knew she would willingly travel with him as long as she lived…but would he ever hold her during the night, his hair matted with sweat and his hearts pounding from making love with her? Would he kiss her and tell her he loved her? Would he ask her to carry his child the way John had? Rose was certain he wouldn't. Only the faint hint from John's dreams that the Doctor did love her helped carry her on when she thought of the inevitable future.

"I'm going to the pub. I'll be home later tonight, yeah?" John called to her from another room. She could tell from his voice that he was currently tugging on his shoes, probably because he was running late as usual.

"Have fun, John!" Rose responded, smiling when she heard the door slam shut behind him without a response.

It made him all the more real, the fact that John had friends from his work at the university. Friends he was enough comfortable with to go to the pub on a Thursday night. Sure, she technically knew his colleagues too, but she always found it awkward to be around them. But she always ended up getting stuck chatting with their wives. All the women were snooty, all at least ten years older than her as well. It was no wonder that they didn't exactly click or have much to talk about. She could tell that most of the women looked down upon her. And the thing that really upset her was how they thought so little of she and John's relationship, him marrying a younger woman without proper education or breeding. Rose suspected they assumed that she was just a gold-digger. With a sigh, she thought of how she would give up practically everything – the enormous flat, the seemingly never-ending flow of money, and the lifestyle – just to have the Doctor call her his love when he returned. The very thought of losing John made her heart ache, but she knew that, once the days on the calendar had been crossed off, she would have to let the Doctor return. Even if it broke her heart in the process. Even if he hated her for following his instructions. She would let him return and do her best to warm herself with the memories of the love she had with the plain old John Smith.

Thankfully, John had listened to her and didn't mind at all that she didn't accompany him anymore.

Rose just rolled her eyes to herself, thinking back to the horrible 'nights out' she'd been to with the disapproving wives. The few times she had gone it had been a dinner at some rich bloke's house, a stuffy affair that always lasted longer than it should. That in itself she could live with, but again, their wives just rubbed her the wrong way. They pretended they were merely curious about how she had met John, but she could tell how they turned their noses up at her when they discovered she had come from a council estate. She didn't dare mention the fact that, according to John, she had initially been one of his students. Finally not able to take it any longer, Rose had gone to John with her concerns. He initially didn't believe her, saying that no one in their right mind could dislike her. However, once she explained the situation, John had been upset that anyone wouldn't respect her as much as they did anyone else. So, hesitantly, he had agreed that he wouldn't make her go to anymore of the events unless it was absolutely necessary.

Her phone suddenly rang, breaking her out of her thoughts. Rolling her eyes, Rose answered the phone. It was John, probably having forgotten something at home. He certainly could be scatterbrained sometimes. Almost in the same way as the Doctor. Rose sometimes wondered if the Time Lord would have forgotten his head if it weren't attached to his shoulders.

"Yeah," she finally answered, realizing that she hadn't said anything yet.

"I may have left the stove on from when I was making tea earlier," he replied sheepishly, a common occurrence with him. At least he always remembered to tell her if she was at home.

Rose wandered into the kitchen, smirking as she saw that John was correct and he had left the stove top on. Quickly flipping it off, Rose admired how domestic she had become. "You're going to end up burning down our home if you don't stop with that," Rose teased.

"Weeellll," John replied and Rose was sure he was sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Listen, I'm almost there so you can give me a famous Tyler slap for being irresponsible when I get back," John joked, continuing on. "Oh and, Rose? I have something to say tonight and you can't say no this time!" John finished, the tone in his voice overly nervous.

"Okay..." Rose told him, wishing he would get home soon so she would know what he was alluding to. They only spoke for a few moments more, exchanging goodbyes before John hung up.

Rose hoped it wasn't the same topic that John had brought up around New Year's. About trying to have a baby. Although he hadn't pestered her about it since, she knew he still wanted that with her. It wouldn't just go away immediately because she hadn't been on his side. At the a fore-mentioned dinner parties, John always just so happened to be interacting his coworker's young children. It seemed as if everyone was on his side about _that_ as well. Even Jackie had gotten a faraway look in her eye when she had mentioned the dilemma, clearly imagining her grandchildren. Though Rose was positive that John had never betrayed her confidence and mentioned their disagreement about the topic of children, she was sure everyone knew he wanted children. You could just tell that he longed to be a father by the look in his eyes the time she had been holding one of his coworker's baby. She swore she could feel everyone's eyes on her stomach when she walked in, sizing her up for any change in her body and wondering when she would announce that she was pregnant, though she could just be paranoid. She couldn't even complain though, because whenever she saw John interact with any of the kids, her heart simply melted. She'd had dreams about having his child lately. He would be more than devoted to her, helping her through each and every stage of pregnancy with excitement. She was sure he would be one of those men who would insist they read all the silly books and go to parenting classes. Then, when the time came, he'd hold her hand and mop her forehead while she was in labor. Finally, after the baby was born, she could almost picture how his face would glow with an unearthly light as he held his son or daughter for the first time. Simply gazing in wonder at the new life in his arms they had created and loving her all the more for giving it to him. And, if Rose had her choice, she would give John as many children as he had wished for just to make him happy. But John wasn't _real_. She would always have to bring the Doctor back and once he had offhandedly mentioned that Time Lords and humans were not compatible in that way. She could never bear the Doctor's or John's children. Even if, deep down, she wanted to.

With a grimace, she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind. No sense pining over what she couldn't have. Better to stay in the present. And right now, Rose was bent over John's desk in his impressive study. She was glaring down at the calendar, angry that the days kept going by so quickly. No matter how much she stared at the page, it refused to change to give her more days with John. Grimacing at the unbending dates, Rose noted that in exactly ten days it would be the three months' mark, the day she could safely open the watch and the Doctor would return to her. The day, three months ago, she thought would never come. Now that it was so close, however, she wished she had cherished the time she had with John more. Because she _would_ open the watch on that date, there was no way she wouldn't, but it would break her heart int he process to lose her husband. But she would get the Doctor back.

 _Her_ Doctor. She just had to bring her Doctor back by opening a stupid fob watch. She hated the idea of abandoning John Smith now, after everything they had been to one another. She loved him and she _needed_ him. But the world, the entire _universe_ , needed the Doctor more.

Shaking her head to get rid of her thoughts, Rose laid her head down on top of the calendar that showed how time was running out faster than she thought it ever could. She had been on a time machine for years and never really understood the importance of time until right now. Allowing the tears to leak out of her tired hazel eyes, Rose gave in to her emotions. She let herself cry once more, mourning the loss of John Smith prematurely. She stopped trying to hold her emotions at bay and just let go. Once she had cried until her eyes were raw and red Rose felt her eyelids droop as she fell into a restless sleep.

…

Rose awoke to the shrill ringing of her phone, she had only been asleep for about ten minutes. She answered it without looking down at the caller ID, her voice foggy and thick with sleep and emotion. She was glad that it was Emma and not her mother on the other end when she heard her friend's familiar voice. She wasn't sure how she could lie to her mother about what was currently upsetting her.

"Hey, what's up? You weren't at work today," Rose muttered, hoping her friend wasn't sick. Rose had felt a little off the last couple of days, as if she were coming down with a stomach virus, and wondered if she had given it to Emma.

"I know," Emma whispered, her voice raw and scratchy, making it obvious that she had been crying recently. Rose suddenly came to full awareness, wondering what could have hurt her friend. Her mind ran through all the possible catastrophes until Emma finally spoke up. "It's about Paul..." she whispered in a low voice.

"Oh no, did you guys break up?" Rose guessed, wishing she was wrong when Emma quietly confirmed that she was right. "I thought he was a nice guy. Do you want me to come over now?" Rose asked, pitying her young friend as she thought back to when she herself had been naive and always believed every relationship she was in would end perfectly.

"He had been acting a bit strangely lately. But today was something altogether different," Emma sobbed into the phone, the break up apparently very recent. "He…he tried to hit me. And then I freaked out and was about to start yelling back at him and he just _laughed_ and left."

Rose could feel her temper rising as she thought back to her own past. Jimmy Stone, the boy she used to think was her soul mate, had used her and abused her. She had given up everything for him when she was only 16, she had even dropped out of school and moved in with him. But he wanted more from her, he always did. Through it all, she _never_ thought he would hit her. Until he did. That night she confronted him, having discovered that he had cheated on her. He finally snapped then, letting his true colors out in full force. Thankfully, she had escaped with only one black eye and a few bruises, but inside she had been broken for so long. He had made her feel worthless and unlovable. She thought she was healed with Mickey's help until she met the man who could feel the Earth move. He showed her the stars, but more importantly, he made her believe she was _special_. Sure, she wasn't smart as a whip and was far from perfect in many ways, but she was fantastic according to the Doctor. He had saved her life more than once. And she had saved his in return.

"Emma, do you want me to come over?" Rose asked once she realized she had been thinking a bit too long. She felt that she could really help her friend, having gone through a similar situation herself. "I know what you're going through and I can help," Rose admitted, hoping Emma believed her. Emma always seemed to idealize Rose's marriage to John, claiming that she had won the spousal lottery. She couldn't disagree, but wished her friend understood that it wasn't always smooth sailing.

"No, no. I need to be alone right now," Emma answered, unswayed by Rose's words. "But can you please call work for me and say I was too sick to call so I don't get in trouble for skipping?" Emma asked hesitantly. As she spoke, Rose could hear her voice quivering and knew her friend was going to hang up soon.

"You don't even have to ask. I will do that right now," Rose reassured her friend, wondering if she should go to her apartment anyway to make sure she was okay. "Are you _absolutely_ certain you don't want me to come over?" she checked again.

"Yes! If you come I probably won't even get up to answer the door. I've got my ice cream and romantic movies," Emma replied, using the most typical heartbreak solutions there were. "I'll call you tomorrow," Emma whispered into the phone, obviously about to hang up.

Knowing she only had seconds left, Rose asked her final question. "Emma, what did he do to you? Please, just tell me. I need to know. I know you trust me, so please just tell me."

"He…he has been acting wonderful lately. But then, I don't know what happened. He said that he saw a meteor and wanted to go check it out one night," Emma answered, making the back of Rose's spine tingle at how odd of a coincidence that was. "Anyway, that was last week. Ever since then he has been acting a bit different. I thought it was because I mentioned him meeting my parents and he thought we we moving to fast, but then this happened. Out of nowhere, he just started yelling at me and hit me. He just stormed out and I haven't heard from him since," Emma explained, her voice becoming more and more frantic as she continued to talk. Before she started to cry again, Emma hung up, leaving Rose talking to no one.

Rose hesitantly put her phone down, deciding that it was her duty as a friend to go see Paul to give him a piece of her mind. No one treated Rose's friends like that. And to think she had thought he was a nice guy as well. What a shame. What a damned shame.

Pulling on her shoes and coat, Rose stormed out of the flat. She hardly noticed how nice it was anymore. She had grown so used to this life that there were moments when she forgot that all it was supposed to be was a hide-out. Instead, Rose had changed her mind about it over the last months. This was her fairy tale.

Except that the time for her to wake up from this dream was swiftly approaching.

…

"Paul Samson!" Rose shouted as she pressed the button to his flat, glad that she had a good memory and could recall exactly where he lived. She had arrived in record time

"Come on up!" Paul responded cheerfully, granting her entrance into his building. Rose stood still for a moment, a bit confused. She had definitely expected that Paul would not be so willing to let her in. Surely he knew that Emma had told him what happened between them.

Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind, Rose marched up to his door, surprised that it was already open. He was standing in the doorway, just waiting for her with a repulsive smile plastered onto his face. That scumbag even had the audacity to position his arms like he was going to give her a hug. She shuddered in revulsion as her eyes skimmed up his suddenly despicable frame. Jimmy Stone had acted exactly the same way when she went back to their flat to gather her things after leaving him. He'd actually believed that a coy smile and a few chosen words of flattery were all it would take to make Rose forget what he had done to her and to lead her right back into his bed. When he'd tried to pull her in for a hug, she'd set Jimmy right with a sharp right hook. After that, he'd called her a bitch and stormed out, leaving her to gather up the rest of her thing in peace.

"Are you just going to stand there and act like you did nothing wrong?" Rose hissed, refusing to enter his tidy apartment. Instead she stood a few feet away from the door and him, prepared to give him a piece of her mind.

"Did what?" Paul asked innocently. Rose, however, had noticed something was definitely _off_ about him. His voice didn't sound the same at all. It almost sounded like he was being possessed and someone didn't know exactly how his speech cadence usually was. His voice was so much stiffer and the way he held his body was subtly different as well. Rose figured a normal person wouldn't realize these changes, but her years dealing with aliens had taught her well.

Rose, deciding that she had spent too much time running for her life from aliens, immediately came to the conclusion that she was being silly. She was just here to defend her friend. "You hurt Emma! She said you even hit her!"

"Well, she wasn't really getting it," Paul explained, his voice softening a bit and sounding more like himself, but that wasn't what got Rose's attention. What got her attention was that he seemed to be leaning in towards her, almost as if he was going to kiss her. He was leaning slightly over her shoulder, his face practically inches away from her hair. His sudden closeness made her bristle with a strange mix of anger and fear. Only John got to be that close to her and that was only when he wanted to give her a convincing reason to get even closer. If that wasn't odd enough, Paul sniffed sharply, as if he was smelling her. But it was nothing like the way that the Doctor might have to identify a substance, but the way a bloodhound on the trail might.

"Getting what?" Rose replied, acting as if nothing was out of the way. She decided that she was at least going to give him the benefit of the doubt. For the moment anyway.

Paul sniffed her hair again, not even trying to hide what he was doing. That was really beginning to creep Rose out and her sensors were on high alert. She was confident in her skills, but the Doctor and the TARDIS were not waiting to rescue her. He let out a dark chuckle before speaking up again. "That I don't want her. She isn't what I need. Not anymore."

"What do you need?" Rose whispered, needing an answer or an explanation for his odd behavior. Her heart was racing and her palms were slick with sweat, her adrenaline in full force. She backed up a bit from his door even more, surprised that he followed her and leaned in even closer to her. She knew she really should leave, but she felt frozen, needing to solve this mystery.

"I think you know," Paul murmured, practically whispering into her ear he was so close. Suddenly, Paul reached up and took her head into his hands, forcing her lips against his. Rose struggled against him immediately, taking several seconds before she was able to break away from his grasp. Now she knew exactly how John must have felt when Elizabeth had all-but-jumped on him over two months ago.

Her hand flew out on reflex and slapped Paul hard against his cheek, feeling pride when she left a mark on his pale skin. "You bastard," she snarled for his behavior towards her and Emma

"No, I need _you_ ," Paul said, his voice turning eerily cold as he tried to get a hold of her wrist, his nostrils flaring as he sniffed once more.

Rose was faster than Paul and pulled free of his firm grasp with a sharp tug, knowing for her safety she had to leave. The way he had said 'you' made her think that he was going to kill her. She ran like she hadn't in months, taking the stairs three at a time until she was outside his building. Once she was back onto the street, she began to run again, needing to be anywhere but there. She hadn't expected _that_ at all. Her first thought was that he was possessed by an alien. However, judging from how he tried to come onto her, she supposed she was wrong about that. Finally hailing a taxi, Rose breathed a sigh of relief now that she was out of danger and on the way home. Rose knew that when she got home she would have to call Emma and tell her to never go anywhere near Paul again. But she would never tell her that he had tried to get with her, that would just break her friend's heart. Rose also debated telling John about the incident before finally deciding not to. It wasn't that she didn't trust her husband. It was just that John was too much like the Doctor when it came to being protective over her. The Doctor would have killed any man who dared lay a hand on Rose Tyler without her permission in a second without a bit of hesitation. And the Doctor simply abhorred violence. She wouldn't force him to that extreme – not for her own foolish mistake of going to Paul's alone.

Before Rose knew it, she was back at the flat, never more thankful to be back. The sun had set and the moon had risen, painting the Earth in a beautiful silvery glow. Her hands were shaking as she locked the door behind her, feeling as if she could collapse right then and there. However, her stomach had other ideas beyond collapsing. With a hand over her mouth, Rose bolted to the bathroom, emptying her stomach's contents into the porcelain bowl just in time. Her abdomen had been flipping ever since her encounter with Paul. Her hands shook and she could feel sweat beading on her forehead and upper lip as she vomited for what felt like hours.

Breathing heavily as she rested her head against the cool toilet, her stomach finally empty, Rose almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the faint sound of a key turning in the lock and then the front door creaking open. She tried to jump up, but before she could get to her shaky feet, she saw a familiar shape in front of her.

"John!" Rose exclaimed, relieved that it was him. She had been just about to call him, yearning for him to be hear her after her downright scary encounter with Paul. "What are you doing home? I wasn't expecting you home for a few more hours, what brought…" Rose began to say, but before she had a chance to finish her question she was forced to lean over the toilet, sick once more. John, ignoring her protests to please leave her be, knelt down beside her, rubbing her back and pulling her hair out of her face. His hands felt comfortingly cool against her skin and he whispered to her, asking her when she had started feeling sick and what he could do to help.

Finally deciding that her stomach felt stable enough to move from her position of kneeling in front of the toilet, Rose leaned back against John's waiting chest. Her muscles were watery and she felt as if she had just run a marathon. Rose was so thankful that John was here and taking care of her. He even continued to rub her back and ran a hand across her sweaty forehead, checking her for a fever.

"I need to clean up," Rose mumbled, sure she looked as terrible as she felt. Perhaps rinsing her face and mouth out would make her feel marginally better. "Can you please leave me alone for a minute?" Rose requested, suddenly embarrassed John had seen her throwing up. However, she was relieved when John listened to her for once and left, leaving her alone to gather her wits.

Once she felt a bit better, Rose flushed the toilet and washed off her face in the sink. She took a drink of water, grateful when it stayed down. She also brushed her teeth, trying not to gag as she did so. A large part of her longed to run a cool bath to remove the day from her skin, but she wasn't entirely certain she would be able to get in and out of the tub on her own. Her legs seemed to want to deposit her on the ground. Still shaky from her encounter with Paul and soon afterwards sickness, Rose made her way into the living room couch, certain that he was in there waiting for her. Just as she had suspected, John was sitting there, aimlessly flipping through channels on the telly. He practically leaped to his feet when he saw her enter, concern written across his face. "Are you feeling better? Did you eat something? Do you want me to get you any medicine?" he asked, his face and voice frantic with worry for his wife. Her normally pink cheeks were pale and she looked more than a bit haggard.

"No, no, I'm feeling fine now. Don't worry about me so much, I'm not that fragile," Rose weakly protested, motioning for John to sit down again. As soon as he settled onto the couch, Rose crawled onto his lap, leaning her head against his chest and relaxing against him. She was so relieved that he was here with her and not at the bar with his mates. His arms immediately wrapped around her waist, steadying her against him. One hand began stroking her back while the other ran up and down her arm as he lightly kissed her throbbing temple. Rose sighed in contentment, feeling at home. After such a stressful day, it was nice to be able to know she was safe at the moment. "Why are you home so early anywhere?" she repeated her earlier question that she had never gotten an answer to.

"Jason, that bloke you don't like," John explained animatedly. "was being rather annoying tonight, so I decided I'd rather come home and be with my lovely wife," John said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head again. "Good thing too, it looks like you needed me here."

Rose was about to say that she was fine and he shouldn't worry about her so much, but then she thought about it and bit her tongue. With scarcely more than a week left of this life, she wanted to spend every second possible with John. She wasn't going to complain about how he was here taking care of her. This way she would have more to remember him by. She knew that she was being selfish before when she'd briefly considered keeping him for herself. She knew that she had to open the watch and allow the Doctor to return to the universe, even if it did break her heart into a million pieces.

"I don't think that's true," Rose muttered, her tone becoming teasing as she smiled at him with her tongue between her teeth, feeling better already. "You are the one who needs me. What would you do without me here?"

"Precisely, I have no idea what I'd do," John teased in reply, kissing her on the cheek as she thought back to the calendar she had been staring at earlier on in the morning.

Wishing she hadn't thought about it again, Rose thought about the dates, looking beyond the countdown to the last few days she had left with John. There was something about today's date, something that she hadn't thought of. Because, caught up in her life with the human Doctor, Rose had forgotten how _many_ weeks had really flown by. While the days had come and gone as expected, something hadn't. She did the arithmetic in her head. Three times. No, that couldn't be right. Already near tears, Rose knew she was lying to herself. The damned date _was_ right.

"Actually, I have to go to the bathroom again," Rose lied as she pushed herself off of John's lap.

Practically running to the bathroom, Rose locked the door behind her, staring in fascinated awe at her own reflection in the mirror. Watching herself in the reflective glass, Rose looked down, wishing it wasn't even a possibility. But it was. Very likely right now. "Damn," Rose sighed once more, wishing she had something hard to bang her head on right now. Because _this_ was not part of the plan, it in no way was ever part of her plan. She did and yet _didn't_ want _this_ to happen. But now it was all that she could think about. It was bad enough that she had fallen in love with John Smith, but now she was almost positive that she was carrying his child.

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 **Spoilers:**

 **"One week exactly," Rose answered slowly, as if she wasn't sure if the words were the truth or not. She knew without a doubt that the hours were running out, she just didn't want to accept that it was so soon, especially right now when she needed John the most.**


	10. The Situation Begins

**You guys are lucky you get another chapter! Enjoy and review!**

The Situation Begins

Over the next few mornings, Rose woke well before John and was forced to rush to the bathroom to empty out her stomach. She didn't mind her new morning routine as much because John slept through it every time, not suspicious about her present state at all. She still had no idea how to tell him that she was probably pregnant, or even sure if she should ever tell him at all. After all in a week the Doctor would be back and the father of her child would no longer exist. She climbed back into the comforting bed, making sure to curl up extra close to John, and managed to catch another hour of sleep. John woke up at his usual time, bidding her goodbye with a gentle kiss that brought her halfway out of her sleepy state. She wanted to tell him not to go, to spend what precious time he had left with her. But she couldn't, so she just held it in and stayed in bed, wondering what her next course of action should be.

For the past few days Rose had called in sick to her job at the café, preferring to spend the days with her mother. She needed her mother's comfort right now, she missed her rambling on about the silly Estate gossip. Plus, she rationalized her actions with the fact that she wouldn't be working there in a week when the Doctor came back. That is if he didn't leave her. The job wasn't really what bothered her, it was just the fact that she felt so terrible about receiving a text from Emma without fail everyday asking her if she was alright. Rose was being pathetic, if anyone needed comforting it was Emma after what had happened with Paul. But Rose was too overwhelmed to delve into that, practically every thought that she had anymore was about the baby that was surely developing inside of her. Knowing that she had to do something, Rose reluctantly got out of bed once John was at work, drinking a bit of tea and nibbling on some bland crackers until her stomach settled. Of course she knew exactly what was wrong with her and really needed a friend she could confide in. Emma would never be able to comprehend why she had so much angst over this, in Emma's mind it was a reason to celebrate. And she had no idea how to even broach the topic with her mother, didn't want to see her joy at the thought of a grandchild. So she called Captain Jack Harkness.

Not long after she had hung up, of course not telling him why she wanted to see him, just informing that she needed him as soon as possible, Rose heard the beautiful sound of the doorbell ringing. She practically ran to the door, smiling in relief with tears in her eyes when she saw Jack standing there. Good ol' Jack, she could always count on him. She missed him, had treated him terribly the last time they saw each other, but he was who she needed right now. Rose just ignored his quizzical look, probably confused why she wanted him now when she had rather rudely ordered him off in a cold manner the last time she saw him. She just stared at him for several seconds, still slightly surprised to see that he was alive and real. Finally throwing her arms around him, she began to cry against his shoulder as he tried to comfort her by patting her back in a brotherly manner.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked quickly, surprised that Rose was practically crying and acting so nice to him after what he had said in the past. He had assumed that he wouldn't hear from her again until the Doctor returned. She had seemed rather adamant about him ever being near 'her husband' ever again. "Where's John?" he asked, imagining that the worst had happened. The rest of the flat appeared to be empty, though nothing appeared out of sorts.

"He's at work," Rose explained, trying to be as vague as possible. She, with that sentence, informed Jack that the Doctor had indeed not returned yet. "Can you come with me to buy something? Please? I don't want to do it alone," Rose whispered quickly, wiping off her eyes and half-heartedly smiling up at Jack, the smile never reaching her panic-stricken eyes. She didn't know why she needed him there, but she couldn't do this alone without giving in and telling John. And she was thinking that she shouldn't tell John at all, it wouldn't be fair to him.

"Sure, anything you want, Rose. Are you okay?" he questioned, observing her as she waved off his questions. Deciding to get a response out of her, he brought up the Time Lord. "Only a few more weeks until the Doctor comes back, right?" Jack asked to fill the silence as Rose led him to the nearest store. Jack was hoping that she was at least a bit excited about that. However, judging from the way she was acting right now something was definitely off. Plus, he wanted to make sure that she wasn't going to just let the Doctor rot trapped inside of a watch as she ran away from her responsibilities with John Smith.

"One week exactly," Rose answered slowly, as if she wasn't sure if the words were the truth or not. She knew without a doubt that the hours were running out, she just didn't want to accept that it was so soon, especially right now when she needed John the most. "Then I'll open the watch," she admitted as Jack visibly relaxed.

Jack just nodded and followed Rose as she walked into the shop and walked down an aisle that he had never had cause to walk down, being male. He was confused as to why he had to come with her just to go shopping for these kind of items until he noticed exactly what she was standing in front of. That could have been a mistake that she had stopped there, but the way she was staring at it, her hazel eyes wide and terrified as her body began to tremble. "Rose, do you mean to be looking at pregnancy tests?"

Rose just blankly nodded, knowing that if she opened her mouth she would cry or say something she would regret. She grabbed several of the tests, not caring about the brand name at the moment. With hurried strides, she walked to the cash register and dumped them at the checkout counter, avoiding Jack's confused gaze as the cashier rang them up. Still refusing to answer any of his questions, Rose walked back to her apartment with her purchases, glad that Jack hadn't said anything too offensive until she opened the door to her flat and flopped down on the nearest chair to look up at Jack. Tears beaded and hung from her eyelashes and her pathetic, single human heart was racing in her chest. Her palms were slick with sweat and she was sure she was going to be sick again.

"Why did you call me to come here, Rose? Are you just going to sit there and not talk about _what_ you just bought?" he asked, sitting down on the chair across from her and grabbing the bag from her. "Why would you tell me like that anyway? Come on, Rosie!" he practically begged as he stood up and instead settled down next to her in the chair, reassuringly putting his arms around her shoulders as he did so. Rose rested her head against his shoulder and swallowed back the rest of her tears, right now wasn't the time to be weak. She had never felt so alone and frightened before in all of her life. She had been so stupid, hadn't even thought about this as an option. She hadn't been taking the pill since she started traveling, there was no point, and hadn't thought of it since. And she and John had been safe...usually. Gah, it's no wonder this had happened, it was inevitable really and she hadn't even had the foresight to think about it. She really was a stupid ape.

"What am I going to _do_? Oh God, I never even thought this would happen, it didn't even cross my mind. I don't know what to do, I'm so scared, Jack," Rose whispered, taking the bag with the tests in her trembling hands and pulling one out to study the instructions on the back of the box. "This was so not part of the plan."

"So, why don't you go take the test to see if we even have to have this conversation right now?" Jack suggested, glad when Rose sighed and stumbled into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her without another word.

After several minutes that felt like hours to her, Rose opened the door slowly and walked over to Jack, her expression unreadable as she settled down on the floor in front of the chair and curled in on herself.

"John Smith won't be here with me in a week. I _need_ him, right now more than ever, I need him so _much_ , and he can't stay with me," Rose murmured, answering Jack's unspoken question that she was indeed pregnant, the truth that she already knew verified by the multiple positive pregnancy tests. "I don't know anything about babies. I can't do this, Jack. I just can't," she admitted, looking her young age.

"Tell me what you are thinking about this…this situation here?" Jack asked cautiously, wishing he had more experience. Actually, he took that back, this was not something he enjoyed. Even if he had knocked up two hundred women before now he wouldn't know what to say to Rose.

"John really wanted to have a baby, he'd even asked me about it but I kept insisting that it wasn't the right time" Rose explained slowly, keeping Jack's rapt attention. "I never expected this, no matter how much I selfishly wanted to tell him yes. I just knew it wouldn't work out because I couldn't keep John forever, that it was just temporary really. And now the Doctor is going to come back…and this won't be good, he'll for sure hate me for this," Rose exclaimed, rambling on as she listed all her worries about the situation. She felt so stupid, of course this happened. She hadn't read all the obvious signs. "But the thing is I want this baby so much. It's a miracle for me, but I know I should be more upset about it than I am, I am so happy too. I just have so many conflicting emotions right now. I guess it makes sense now…how hormonal I've been and all of that. I'm sorry I pushed you away like that before…" she finally finished, having worked through a lot of her emotions through her long monologue with Jack.

Jack was silent for a long while before he responded again, weighing his words. "This is one of the most baffling things I have ever heard of, especially with you and the Doctor. I suppose he is to be included in this, involved in it like he is," Jack made a silent vow to himself that if the Doctor even thought about leaving Rose to handle this on her own, he was going to punch the Time Lord so hard he'd feel it in his next regeneration or whatever it was that made him change his face and voice.

Rose was about to respond that she sincerely doubted it when she heard the front door rattle as someone put a key into the lock. She assumed that John had come home early, and hissed at Jack to hide the tests as she tried to make herself look halfway presentable before she ran to the foyer.

"John! You're home already?" Rose said, feeling excited for a strange reason, enthusiastically hugging him. "I've missed you!" As she said the words she knew how true they were, as she really had missed John. In a perfect world where John wasn't just a story, she could imagine how this moment would go. She would whisper it in his ear, laugh as she took in his shocked face and relish in how excited he was once she assured him that it was true. Except that was a fairy tale and Rose Tyler was far from a princess. So she kept her mouth shut and tried to blink back the tears, of fear instead of happiness, as she tried to bury herself deeper against him. She would give anything to have him be with her forever, but for now she would have to settle for the firmness of his chest in this single moment in time.

"Rose, I think I better be going now. Unless you want me to stay?" Jack said as he walked into the foyer. He felt so utterly helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do that would help Rose in a situation like this. As much as he hated it, she was on her own for the moment. But, if he had his way, he'd make certain she would never have to bear this burden completely alone no matter what the Doctor did. He was always one call away.

"No, you go on now," she said, patting the confused John on the shoulder and whispering that she was going to walk Jack to the elevator. John went on into the apartment and Rose tugged the door closed behind her. "Jack, I want to make the rest of the time I have with John perfect. Thank you for coming. Please promise me you won't leave me? Please, I can't do this alone," Rose pleaded, trying to keep her tone hopeful but unable to hide the fear that was present in her voice.

"Never. You will never be alone while I'm still breathing. I will see you in a week, sweetheart, okay?" Jack said in a rush as the elevator door opened. He pulled Rose in for a quick but reassuring hug as he whispered in her ear. "It'll be okay, Rosie, I just _know_ it will be."

John stood confused after Jack had left the flat, scrunching his eyebrows up as he turned towards Rose when she slunk back through the door. "What was Jack doing here? How do you know him when I hadn't seen him until he showed up at our door a few months ago?"

"Just an old friend that I thought I would never see again…" Rose answered honestly, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt as she had no idea how to act around John at the moment. She wasn't sure if she should tell him or not. On the one hand, he deserved to know. But then again, these weren't exactly what one would consider normal circumstances. In a week he would be forever gone, so she wasn't sure if it was fair to burden him with this. Would it be cruel to tell him he was getting what he'd always wanted and then take it away from him? Finding out that he was getting the very thing he had wished for might make him decide to remain as he was with Rose and their baby, but the world – no, the universe – needed the Doctor. Shaking her head to clear it, Rose pushed the situation to the back of her mind, deciding she would see how life took her with this.

"Why doesn't he come over to dinner so I could meet him," John suggested, obviously trying really hard to accept Jack. It was just like him, to try to be nice to everyone, especially anyone she cared about. And she could tell from his stance that he was jealous of the attractive American.

"I think he's going out of town," Rose lied easily. She took a step towards John, trying to stop herself from grabbing onto him. "Why are you here early?" she asked, glancing at her watch to see that it was just after noon.

John nodded, barely even looking at her as he took off his coat and put it in the hall closet. "My only class was in the morning and I wasn't really feeling like doing anything this afternoon," he answered casually as he kissed her on the forehead. "I'm going to grab a bite, you want anything?"

Shaking her head, Rose let her shoulders slump with exhaustion when John left the room to go get something to eat, oblivious to how much Rose needed him to hold her right then. In a matter of minutes he stuck his head around the corner again looking adorable as always with half of a sandwich hanging out of his mouth. "Also, I'm sorry about this but weeeeeeeeeelll, I sort of roped us into something today at work."

"What?" Rose asked, her voice sounding dull and lifeless even to her ears. She followed him into the kitchen and sat down heavily at the table. This was not what she wanted to hear, she wanted John to herself these last few days. "I'm not really feeling whatever you're talking about."

John frowned, taking another large bite as he sat down next to her. "Well, tomorrow night there is going to be this party," John explained, wincing as he thought of how uncomfortable Rose was around the stuck up women his colleagues had the misfortune of marrying. He couldn't blame her for that – none of those women could even begin to compare to Rose's vitality and vigor for life. "It's for work and the Dean came by to talk to me today to make sure I was coming. Of course I couldn't say no to him…so we are going," he said, giving Rose a look that meant that she couldn't weasel her way out of this engagement. "It's rather fancy, so the positive is that you will get to wear one of those fancy dresses that you always complain about having and never having an occasion to use them." _And I will get to look at you wearing it and spend most of the evening fantasizing about how it's going to look on the floor when we get back home_ , he thought to himself quietly.

"John..." Rose began, trying to will away her sudden nausea. Although, if she did want to skip out on the party it would be the perfect excuse.

Apparently her suddenly pale face tipped John off because he was suddenly gazing at her with concern. "I didn't want to say anything, but I've noticed you've been sick recently..." he trailed off as he sat down his sandwich. "Maybe you should go to the doctor," he added, knowing that Rose didn't like to be babied.

"It's just the flu," she explained quickly, waving it off like it was nothing. Thankfully her nausea had gone for the moment, so she could pretend like it was getting better. So John had noticed her morning escapades...she would have to work on being sneakier. For how smart he was, it was quite thick that he didn't realize it was morning sickness. "And I want to keep you for myself, I feel like I'm always just sitting in a corner by myself drinking at those things."

John abandoned his food, placing his hands over Rose's. "Love, you know I try to spend as much time as I can around you," he explained, sending her a reassuring smile. "It is just that sometimes I have to make my way around and schmooze."

"Yeah, yeah…" Rose mumbled, surprising John by how easily she had accepted going. She didn't want to fight about this yet again, didn't have the energy or desire to. "We'll have fun, yeah?"

"Of course, we always have fun, you and I," John replied as he stuffed the rest of his lunch into his mouth. He felt his heart soar when Rose glanced up and rewarded him with a true smile.

…

The next night Rose had to admit to herself that she was actually enjoying getting ready for the party. At the very least, it was a nice distraction from the situation at hand. She'd only been sick once that day, a record for the past week, and she was hoping that she wouldn't turn pale and get ill while out with John at this party. He had already began to suspect something was wrong with her and she knew that if he saw her get sick one more time he would practically carry her to the doctor's to find out what was wrong with his wife. She studied her dress, glad that it lay flat across her stomach. She was worried that one of the other wives, they seemed to have eerily correct senses when it came to sticking their noses into other's peoples business, would figure out she was expecting and announce it in the middle of the party before she'd even had a chance to decide if and when to tell John…or the Doctor, as the case may be. Finishing up her make-up, Rose stepped back to look at her reflection. She did look nice, she supposed, all things considering. Her dress was deep red with long sleeves and fit her body like a glove with a rather low back and she was glad she had bought it last month. However, her favorite part was her hair. It had taken quite a while, but she loved how she had curled her hair so that it looked like that of a flapper.

"Whoa, you are actually ready on time for once," John exclaimed as he hesitantly entered their bedroom dressed in a tuxedo that only made him look more than merely dashing. "You look absolutely breathtaking. Not that you ever look anything else, Rose. Still, I have a feeling I'm going to be called a lucky bloke to have you on my arm quite frequently this evening."

"You," Rose said, her eyes scrunching up with laughter as she walked towards him and straightened his bow tie. "You're going to give me a big head. And you don't look so bad yourself, buddy. If only we didn't have this party to go to..." she cheekily suggested, sending a meaningful look back into the bedroom as she sighed aloud in annoyance at her bad luck.

John immediately got a devilish gleam in his eyes and, reached up to cup her face as the other began to trail up and down her spine. "We can be a _little_ late, can't we?"

Before she had the chance to reply, John leaned down and kissed her, already starting to pull her back to the bed. Rose pulled away with a laugh, amused by the extremely disappointed look on his face that his attempt at seduction didn't work as he had hoped. "Not right now, maybe you'll get lucky if you are a good boy tonight," Rose winked. "Plus, you messed up my lipstick. And now I'll have to redo it before we leave."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't," John muttered, reaching up and wiping the red lipstick off of his lips. "Your mouth is beautiful enough as it is. Plus, you taste so much better without all the wax and chemicals getting in the way," Sighing in defeat as he knew that his suggestions were not going to be taken to heart when she raised an eyebrow at him, John recalled something funny that had happened today. "Rose, wanna hear something funny?"

"Sure," Rose absently responded, leaning towards the mirror as she reapplied her lipstick and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"You know Lucille, right?" John asked, continuing when Rose nodded as she recalled one of his coworkers she could actually talk to. "Well, we knew she was a bit odd, but get this! She thinks she is psychic. She really believes it too," John continued, not noticing how Rose had suddenly became more interested when he mentioned her being psychic. "She went all mystical on me today. She asked me when our baby was due! I was all like...'Huh? We aren't expecting.' But she didn't listen and just kept on asking me that, telling me that she could sense that she was right this time."

Rose stood frozen, her eyes wide with shock at what John had said. She couldn't believe the crazy woman had actually predicted the truth - that Rose was pregnant - and told John. Rose knew this could be the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth, but she didn't know if she had the courage. Last night she had decided that she _had_ to tell him, he had a right to know about his child. She just had no idea _when_ would be the best time since there was so little time until the Doctor returned and John Smith was gone forever. Glancing at the clock and realizing they were already late, Rose put it off once more and turned to John with a smile plastered to her face. "That is creepy, John, not funny. She is just going to mess with your head to take some of your money for her cheap parlor tricks."

"Don't worry about it, love. We need to go anyway. Let's get to the party," John said, taking up her arm and twining it through his own. He was relieved when Rose relaxed and followed him out of their flat.

…

"John, can you come rescue me for a moment?" Rose asked in a whisper after she had been roped into a conversation with a forty year old woman complaining about her preteen daughter for more than half an hour. Normally she would have been okay with that, but only after she'd had a few glasses of champagne and could make snarky comments and blame in on the alcohol. However, she obviously couldn't drink tonight and the evening seemed to be just dragging on.

After John had politely extracted himself from the conversation, he turned towards Rose with amusement in his eyes. "Well then, my damsel in distress, what can I save you from this time?"

"Wipe that smirk off your face," Rose joked, glad that he was still smiling. "I don't really know anyone here tonight and I've barely been able to be around you."

"Come on then, let's go dance," John sighed, pretending like he was annoyed but lucky to be able to spend time with Rose once again. Once on the dance floor, Rose leaned her head against his chest, relaxing against him as they swayed to the music.

However, they were only halfway through their second song when Rose noticed someone familiar out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head and blanched, tightening her grip on John. There at the entryway stood Paul, his eyes boring into hers. She had no idea how he got in or how he even knew she would be there. She felt a chill wash over her as her stomach lurched, terror trying to worn its way up her throat. "John?"

Before John had a chance to respond, Paul walked over to them with a wide smile on his face. "Oh, what a pleasant surprise Paul," John muttered wondering what Emma's boyfriend was doing at a party for university faculty.

Paul, realizing that John had no idea what had happened with Emma and Rose, smirked, knowing his plan was going perfectly. "I agree, lucky I was able to get an invite and have some other friends here as well."

"Who did you come with?" Rose hissed, alerting John that something had happened as she was usually very friendly to Paul. However, John was being annoyingly thick and ignoring her.

"My sister," Paul quickly responded, smiling darkly as he leaned in and sniffed Rose's hair once more. John's smile tightened at that, but he didn't seem as concerned as he should be. "And my mother and father are coming as well. In fact, they are almost here. They are very eager to meet _you_ in particular, John."

"I thought you were an only child and that your parents moved to America?" John asked, sensing something was wrong with the way Paul's story did not match up and how scared Rose suddenly seemed next to him. He pulled his wife away from the other man and glared at him for whatever he had done for changing Rose's opinion about him. And what was that sniffing about?

"Oh…I forgot about that," Paul mumbled, looking down at the ground for a moment before moving closer to the couple again. "But I have a new family now, a better family. And I think you can help us, John. Actually, I know that only you can help us."

John was surprised when Rose suddenly moved and was pulling him away from Paul and into the women's restroom. Thankfully, there was only one other woman in there. She just gave John a very odd look before she hurried out, wondering what kind of people were coming to these parties now. Paul did not follow them, to Rose's immense relief. "Rose, what is going on?" John asked, his brows furrowed.

"John, I'm so sorry. You will always believe me, right?" Rose whispered, her eyes looking so scared that he couldn't help but pull her in for a hug. She was shaking in his arms and he wanted nothing more than to made her feel safe

"Of course. What is wrong and why are you so frightened?" John asked. Rose closed her eyes for a moment before she looked up at him, her lips slightly trembling.

"Your dreams. Your dreams about the Doctor. They are _real_. You _are_ the Doctor," Rose began, continuing when John remained silent, his eyes dark and focused as he continued listening to her. "I'm sorry, I wish it wasn't true, but it _is_. And those people out there, I think they want to kill you. You just need to trust me and leave right now. I will explain more when we are safe."

John remained silent, nodding his head as he held onto Rose's hand like she was the only thing holding him to the ground. She led him out of the bathroom. Reminding him to be silent, Rose pulled him out to the side of the room, hiding in the shadows. However, there was someone waiting there for them.

"Well, well, well…" Elizabeth Baxter, the woman they hoped they would never see again, stood right in front of them, preventing them from leaving. "We meet again Mr. and Mrs. _Smith_."

 **Sorry for stopping it there, hope you can forgive me.**

 **So...like the slight changes? Thoughts? Is John going to go quietly or not believe Rose? Let me know in a review!**

 **I love you all,**

 **Gabrielle**


	11. Running Once Again

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I hope I gave it justice and you enjoy it a bit. I definitely enjoyed writing it.**

 **Don't forget to follow/review at the bottom. :)**

Running Once Again

"Actually, we were just leaving," Rose said to Elizabeth, trying to sound polite as she was yanking on the shell-shocked John. Thankfully, he was just as eager to leave as her as he wanted even more than her to get as far away from his former student as was possible. Although she had just been around Elizabeth for a matter of seconds, she already sensed that something was horribly wrong. And that was saying something since she had drastically redefined her definition of bad ever since she had begun traveling with the Doctor.

"Actually, I think not. We figured it out. We aren't as stupid as you thought," Elizabeth cackled, motioning with her fingers to someone unseen in the shadows. "Your flirtatious little friend Jack was rather useful to us. Don't worry your pretty little face though, we didn't touch him a bit," she added on when Rose tensed at her words. "We just followed him and heard a rather _interesting_ conversation that you had with him. You really should pay more attention to your surroundings when saying so much about things some people could be interested in. Honestly, the two of you made this almost too easy for us," Elizabeth laughed again. Despite how brave she usually was, Rose found herself leaning back closer to John. "We really enjoy the chase and you practically handed yourselves over to us. But we can still have our fun now anyway."

Rose was almost certain that this was the Family of Blood now and she had no idea what to do without the Doctor. Although she and the Doctor did get separated rather often, he always returned to save the day, but not today. She was just able to ramble on and annoy them until the Doctor came up with a plan. No one at this snooty party had figured out that something terrible was happening yet. Despite her dislike, Rose wished that they could all get away before the Family killed every single one of them. She glanced up at John and was shocked to see that he looked absolutely terrified as well. The expression was strange to see on the Doctor's face. However, despite his fear, John wrapped his arm around Rose's waist, holding her protectively against his side as he backed further away from Elizabeth. All of this had happened in a matter of seconds that felt like hours to Rose. There seemed to be no sign that her nightmare would end anytime soon.

"Stay away from us," John said, trying to keep his terror out of his voice and failing. If he wanted to have any chance of protecting Rose through this he knew that he needed to convince them that he was a threat. But he had no practice at that, besides his dreams as the Doctor. He still didn't understand what Rose had meant by saying he was the Doctor, but he didn't have time to dwell on this right now. Now he had to protect Rose.

"I would rather not do that. There is something you have to give us. Something that we need," Paul hissed, coming up behind Elizabeth. His face no longer held any of the kindness that Paul's once had.

"What? I don't know what you mean!" John said hoarsely as he once again took a step backwards. His voice was becoming frantic at what was occurring. The only thing he could think about was his dreams of the Doctor. Despite how much he didn't want to, John remembered what Rose had said to him only minutes before. She had claimed that it was _real_ , everything that he remembered about the Doctor was _true_. He was him. Which meant that Rose had been lying to him for months. But she was his _Rose_ , she couldn't have done that to him. She wouldn't have. She would never have faked being in love with him. _Rose_ wouldn't do that. Not to him, she loved him. Or was everything he believed in wrong?

While John was momentarily distracted by his thoughts, a large man with tattoos came up behind them and pulled Rose out of his arms. He forced her into a chokehold as he pointed an alien looking gun against her temple. At the same time, a tall and thin woman with grey hair came up next to Elizabeth. Rose struggled against her captor, but he was too strong for her. There was no denying it now, the Family of Blood was here. All of them were, the Mother, Father, Sister, and Brother. "Let me go!" she shouted. Everything was happening so fast, she didn't have time to think about what to do next.

"Not until the Time Lord hands himself over to us!" the man, whom the others had called Father of Mine, laughed. By now, all of the partygoers had noticed the disruption and many were talking on their phones calling for help. Only a smart few had left though. Most of them stayed, staring in disbelief at what was happening right in front of them. Rose tried to scream for them to run, but the Father smothered her cries as he slammed his palm over her mouth. She automatically bit his hand as hard as she could, but that only made the Father press his hand harder against her mouth as blood filled her mouth. She tried the hardest to fight back so that she couldn't be used as bait against John, but she was out of practice. She felt useless as the Father held her with ease.

Seeing his precious Rose being manhandled by a stranger with no regards to whatever pain they were causing her made John furious. How dare they take Rose like that. It felt odd, this anger. He felt like the Doctor with a rage that was inhuman. "Let her go! Don't you dare hurt her!" he yelled, his jaw tight as he slowly moved towards them.

"Oh, we don't intend to hurt her unless you need a little more convincing," the Mother cackled, walking up closer to Rose and stroking her hair. John lunged towards her the moment she touched Rose. He was appalled, how dare they use Rose like a pawn against him and not expect him to fight back with more intensity with every hand they laid upon her. "Nope, that was a mistake. If you come a step closer I will pull this trigger and kill her," the man holding Rose said, nodding towards the gun that he had firmly pressed against her head. Rose whimpered then, obviously trying to tell him something, but unable to due to the meaty hand covering her mouth.

"We will let her go safe and sound on one condition only,' Paul announced, relieved by the wild look in John's eyes. "You will give us your Time Lord essence this instant!" Paul shouted again. John grew more confused with every word that was said. Sure he had dreams about the Doctor, but he was just John Smith. He had to be John Smith, the Doctor was the one who wasn't real, not him. And now they had his Rose and he had no idea what to do.

"Please! I don't know _what_ you are talking about! I'm not the man you are looking for! I'm just a human," John begged, speaking the truth. He could see his wife's terror and his heart clenched that he couldn't protect her when she needed him most. She did everything she could to keep them both safe and he knew she would fight for him until her last breath and he felt so useless that he wasn't doing the same for her.

The Mother just cackled, the sound reverberating around the now silent room. "Don't worry, our little friends are coming," at her words an odd noise came from the streets. It was the sound of glass breaking, and it was coming from somewhere nearby. Rose tried to glance over to see what was coming for them but her view was obstructed by the Father's meaty arm.

"Hmmm….just look at him," Elizabeth muttered, walking closer to him and poking him on his chest. John stood still as a statue, thinking maybe if he followed their orders they would let Rose go. It was stupid, but he didn't know how else he could protect Rose right now. "Just as I presumed. He is _human_. The Time Lord must be hiding inside of him," she finished with a long sniff before fury once again filled her face. "Do it! Do it now!" she screeched at him.

"Do what?" John yelled back, locking eyes with Rose. She looked like she was about to cry, but her expression wasn't giving him any answers. He was beyond scared now, it felt like one of his dreams. They had Rose and he had no idea how to save her. And what was worse was that the Doctor, if he was indeed real, would have known what to do. He would never let this happen to Rose. But this was happening and John was failing not only Rose but himself as well.

"What do you think?" the Mother asked, motioning towards Rose. She looked at the Father, cocking her head towards him in some kind of a signal to continue. "Do you think if his pathetic human heart broke the Time Lord would emerge?"

John now knew exactly what they were planning to do, as did Rose. Rose had not been expecting this at all, not tonight. She had been so preoccupied on other matters she had practically forgotten that there may be aliens trying to kill them both. The fob watch, the precious watch that held the Doctor, was back at their flat. She didn't think to carry it with her all the time, but she knew now how much of a mistake that had been. And now it wasn't just the Doctor's life that Rose had put in danger once again – it was her baby's as well, their child. Honestly, Rose didn't care about her own life right now. It was just the baby that made her eyes fill with tears. She hadn't even told John yet, he would never know that he should have been a father. Although she had only known she was pregnant for less than a week she was terrible at being a mother. She had failed her child. But she wasn't going to go down without a fight. That much she was sure of.

"Please! I'm begging you! I don't know what you are talking about! I can't do anything!" John begged again, attempting to get to Rose, but being held back by Paul. His voice sounded so pathetic and he was so unsure of what to do.

"Poor Time Lord. Stuck inside of a human. Oh, how it will hurt when your precious lover dies," Elizabeth laughed. Her voice reverberated in John's mind and he felt himself crumbling. He wished that he could give himself up to release the Doctor and save Rose, but he just couldn't. He didn't know how. If he even had an inkling of what to do it he would do it in a moment to prevent anyone from getting hurt.

"Tick tock goes the clock and with it your pretty little wife's time left," the Father laughed, loving the pained look on John's face. He pushed the gun against Rose's temple, his finger stroking the trigger as if he was about to push it.

Rose, after traveling with the Doctor for so long, was very aware of everything that was happening. The moment she felt the Father loosen his grip on her while he had laughed at John's pain, she whirled around, ignoring the pain as her arm was twisted, she could deal with that later. Thankfully, he was taken by surprise as she elbowed him in the stomach, a burst of air coming out of his lungs. She grabbed his wrist and twisted it over as she spun out of his arms, effectively accomplishing her task. She had stolen the gun from him and now it was in her own shaking hands. She pointed it right at the Father. With her finger inching towards the trigger, she felt John wrap his arms around her waist, tugging to get her back behind him. But she was having none of that at the moment. She was Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf. She had absorbed the Time Vortex to save her Doctor and she _would_ save him once more. "GET OUT!" Rose screamed to the bystanders watching the events unfolding in shock. She hoped all of the rich people would listen to her and scramble away.

"Clever girl…" Paul murmured, walking up to her. He let John go, let them stumble several feet away from the Family. "Well, that gun won't harm our friends, will it Sister of Mine?"

"No! Actually, you get to meet them right about now," Elizabeth laughed, turning towards the door. Almost the same moment as she said the words, several figures shambled into the area. At first Rose thought they were just people, but the way the light glanced off of their skin she knew she was mistaken. With a gasp she realized exactly what they were, they were wax figures of celebrities from the nearby museum. Except they were animated and moving towards them, intent on helping the Family of Blood kill them.

"Rose, please!" John begged, trying to push her back behind him. He relaxed a miniscule amount when Rose finally allowed him to gather her into his arms. At least she was with him at the moment, no matter what happened next they were together. Holding her tightly against his body, John backed up a bit from the Family and the animated wax figures.

By now most of the guests had escaped. They had probably been annoyed at first with the disturbance had messed up their evening plans. However, they did understand enough to know how dangerous this could potentially be. Still, there was one elderly lady who was either oblivious to the threat or simply didn't care about her own life to worry about it. "How dare you harass that poor couple! They didn't do anything to you! What happened to manners in this country?" the old woman shouted at the Family. At the same time the lady began to hit Elizabeth with her rather heavy purse. The weight of the purse plus the surprise of the attack worked in her favor and Elizabeth actually fell to the floor with a hiss.

"Come on!" Rose hissed, pushing John past the Family of Blood who were now bent over Elizabeth. Too shocked by a mere human attacking them to notice Rose and John sneaking out behind them, the Family let them pass by. Rose had a chilling thought that the Family might not be so worried because they were assuming that their wax figures would go about their job of killing Rose and John even if the couple did manage to slip away for a few minutes.

Standing in the street surrounded by wax figures, Rose fought back the urge to throw up. She was lost now, that was for certain. And it definitely wouldn't be beneficial to get sick right now. Thankfully, the feeling passed after a few moments and Rose sent a silent thanks to her body for this slight reprieve, resting her hand over her stomach as she assessed her dire surroundings. It was the only comfort she could offer her child right now.

"Well then, are you just going to let me die now?" the old woman, having just escaped from the Family shouted. Rose was shocked to her core. She could hardly believe this strange old woman whom she had never met before had just saved their lives like that. She had escaped the family casually and now was standing only a few feet away from them waiting for them to save the day.

"Not at all," John muttered, letting go of his tight grip on Rose for a moment. Rose turned towards him, wondering why he would say that. He sounded almost as if he had a plan and if there was one thing Rose knew that both the Doctor and John shared, it was that neither one of them took much stock in planning anything ahead. However, it seemed as if John did indeed have an idea of what to do next. Noticing a fire hydrant sitting by the street, John ran over and kicked it as hard as he could. He knocked the spigot loose and water began to spew into the street. Just as he had anticipated, the wax figures had little traction and almost all of them began to slip, falling down, unable to reach, let alone attack John and Rose.

The old woman quickly hobbled off in another direction due to the distraction, offering them both a friendly smile of thanks. Rose was sad that she never got to thank her and hoped she got home safely, knowing that she had just saved so many people with one simple heroic act. John, knowing they had only minutes to escape, ran with Rose as fast as they could, their hands firmly clasped together. The whole run passed in a blur, the only thing she was aware of was the seemingly endless alleys they cut through and John's form in front of her. They eventually ended up about two blocks from their flat, ducking behind a fountain for a moment of rest.

"John, I'm so sorry," Rose whispered, taking the brief moment that they stopped running to bury her face against John's chest. She needed to explain, to apologize for everything she had done to hurt him. But there simply wasn't time. No, she just needed to run into the flat quickly and grab the watch that would save them all.

John was about to respond that she had nothing to apologize for when they heard a voice, an eerily familiar voice. Peeking over the fountain, they were both shocked at what they saw. Rose couldn't believe they had managed to find the TARDIS and bring it all the way here. It had been safely parked by the Powell Estates last time she saw it a few days ago. She cursed herself for not visiting the time machine more often, to check to see if it was safe. In the back of her mind alarms started to go off about her mother's safety. Just this morning Jackie had seemed to be her usual self on the phone, rambling about the ongoing Estate gossip. Hoping her mother was still safe, Rose turned her attention to John. John's eyes were wide and his face pale. Because he had seen that box before every night in his dreams and now there it was, right in front of him, just begging him to believe it was true.

"Come out, come out wherever you are!" called Elizabeth, her voice breaking through the silence of the night. She patted the TARDIS, knowing there was no way that the Doctor would let them take his precious ship. Little did they know that they had let go of his most precious thing earlier when they allowed Rose to slip away with him. Compared to when they were holding Rose at gunpoint, the fact that they had the TARDIS was absolutely nothing.

"Quiet, we can slip past them," Rose whispered, helping John sneak away from the Family of Blood. The Family was so focused on the TARDIS, cackling at their good luck, that they weren't looking around them to see Rose and John running only a block away. She intended to get both of them back to their flat and then just wing it from there. She hoped she would be able to convince John just how much she loved him and that he had to become the Doctor again. She knew she would always love both of them. And, most importantly, she needed to let John that no matter what happened, in one way, he would live on through their child.

Before they knew it they were standing in front of their apartment building, everything strangely calm and normal. Rose was on the verge of tears and John was stiff and silent, not seeming to be listening to her string of apologies. However, the oblivious doorman greeted them excitedly, not noticing the tension in the air. The silence was almost deafening as they rode in silence up the elevator and Rose finally allowed the tear barrier to break.

"Rose?" he asked when he noticed how upset she was, quickly unlocking their door and ushering her inside. "This is _really_ happening, isn't it?" John whispered, locking the door behind him and relishing in the sudden quietness of the room. He felt odd to be back in their flat after everything that had happened. The half full mug of tea was right where he had set it last, but even though the apartment was exactly how he left it, he came back home a changed man from what he had just experienced.

"Yes…you saw the TARDIS…I'm so sorry," Rose said as she gave into her tears, burying her face against his chest and beginning to cry as she heard the betrayal he felt in his voice. Her heart broke that he felt betrayed by her, but she _had_ to do it. There was simply _no_ other way. She had only been following the Doctor's orders. It was her own bloody fault that she had gone and fallen in love with him.

John just nodded, effortlessly carrying her up to their bedroom because his wife – he would always think of her as his wife, no matter what the truth of the matter was – had begun crying too hard to walk on her own. He laid her on the bed and climbed up next to her, holding her in his arms and rocking her gently back and forth while he tried to calm her. He didn't know what else to do, felt powerless from his failures to protect her. After a few more minutes of heartbroken sobs, Rose pushed away from John, climbed off of the bed and retrieved the fob watch she had hidden in the dresser. She didn't have time to let her emotions get the better of her right now. That would come later. First of all she had to make sure to do what the Doctor said, to listen to him for once.

"So, he is in there?" John asked, taking the watch into his hands and turning it over again and again in his hands, feeling the warmth that emanated from its core. He could almost feel the Time Lord calling out to him, begging him to keep _his_ Rose safe. "The Doctor?" he questioned, meeting Rose's wide eyes as she slowly nodded. She was deathly pale now, looking terrified at the image of him holding the watch. "I do believe you, Rose. You wouldn't say this if it wasn't true. I know I am the human form of the Doctor and you had to pretend to be my wife to protect him," John said slowly, making sure Rose understood that he wasn't mad at her, he understood.

"Yes…if you open it the Doctor will come back," Rose answered, trying to keep her voice calm as she flew to the window and sighed in relief that the Family hadn't caught up to them yet. She felt foolish for allowing herself to waste time crying like a damsel in distress. Worst of all was the fact that John's time was running out with every click of the clock.

John sighed loudly and motioned for her to come over to him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head before he spoke again. He needed her right now as much as she needed him. "And I will be gone. It will be like dying for me?" he asked, letting fear creep into his voice. He wasn't scared to die, just scared that it wouldn't be enough to protect Rose.

"I suppose it will be," Rose agreed in a monotone voice. "Listen, you don't have to do this," Rose murmured, her voice cracking, making it obvious that she was lying and that him giving the watch over would not solve the problem. "I don't _want_ you to leave me," she said again, praying that he believed her. That this was the last thing she wanted to do, but it was necessary now with the Family on the loose.

"Rose, that isn't true, is it?" John asked, relishing the feeling of Rose in his arms for what could be the last time. "I've dreamed about him and I know that if I gave the watch over the world would eventually end in destruction. The world needs him…and _you_ need him, Rose," he admitted, speaking the truth they were trying to avoid.

"No, I need _you_ ," Rose cried, trying to convince herself the words were true as she buried her face against his chest. And she did need him, didn't want to raise their child without him.

"You wouldn't be safe. I _will_ make you safe, Rose," John said firmly, wishing he was the type of man who could just run away from all of this. Run away with the love of his life with no guilt, but he knew that more people would die if he didn't do this right now. Rose would die. And he just couldn't live without Rose Tyler on this Earth.

Rose shook her head back and forth, acting as if she couldn't hear his words. She had to make him see, had to make sure he understood how much she wished this didn't have to end like this. "But I love you," she breathed out, pulling him down for a frantic kiss.

John pulled away a few moments later, resting his forehead against hers. "And I love you," he stated, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Why can't that be enough?" Rose muttered, begging the tears to not fall again. She felt the watch's presence a few inches away on the bed, a constant reminder of what was about to occur.

"You love the Doctor too, don't you Rose?" John asked, knowing that he needed to know whether or not she would be loved after he left. Whether she would be able to heal once he was gone.

"John," Rose muttered, unable to answer the question and break his heart. Because he knew, there was no way he didn't know with all the dreams.

"Answer me, Rose. Just answer me with the truth," John ordered, glaring down at the watch containing the man that would steal his wife.

"I love him…but I love _you_ , John," she added on quickly, wrapping her arms around him. "And you love me, the Doctor and I could never have what you and I have…he could never love me like you," Rose assured him, knowing that what she had with John was a once in a lifetime sort of love. The sort of love her parents, despite their issues, had. The reason that her Mum would never settle down with a man, always comparing him to Pete. "I'll always just be a stupid pink and yellow ape to him," Rose sighed, expecting John to be upset at her words so was surprised when he just nodded as if he expected that answer and lightly kissed her lips. Perhaps he believed her or maybe he just didn't want to argue away their last few minutes together.

Both of them tried to forget what was happening for a short time, relaxing into the kiss as they thought about all that could have been, but never would be now. After a time, Rose knew that the Family would be catching up with them soon and pulled away from John, lying back on the bed as he looked at her in confusion.

"Should I do it now? Is it time?" John asked, his face determined even though he knew he was a coward for not wanting to give up his life and love in order to save the world. If there was any way he could avoid it, he would. But then Rose would be in danger. The only way he could do this with no regrets was if he did it for her.

"Wait, first you need to know something," Rose mumbled in a shaky voice, not meeting his eyes. "You will never leave me, not completely," Rose whispered as John leaned down over her to hear what she was about to say. "I'm going to have a baby," she told him, grabbing his hand and pressing it against her stomach.

"Rose?" John murmured, his eyes filling with a strange mix of pain and delight as he stared down at her, reaching down and resting his hand on her stomach. Awe and amazement were clear in his face, as well as grief. Because he would never get the chance to see Rose grow with their child, hold their child for the first time, or be a father like he had always dreamed of. "Our child is in there?" he asked, awestruck.

"Yes," she said with thick tears. "I know you wanted to have kids and I always said no…but this happened anyway," Rose whispered as she thought of all she wanted to say to him and how much she wished she could grow old with him. She wished he could stay with her forever, raising their children, playing with their children, living on through their descendants even after their own names were just faded scratching in marble headstones. "I'm glad it happened now," she admitted, knowing that she would treasure their child, the most perfect gift.

"Thank you," John murmured, looking so happy despite what was happening. She had told him, even though she didn't have to. He would never have known, it was painful to _know,_ but he wouldn't have it any other way. "Rose, I wish I could be there…you have no idea how much I want this with you. All of it."

Rose sniffed, wishing she knew what words to say to him. "John," Rose began to say, only changing her mind of what she was going to tell him when she saw him lean down and kiss her stomach as if the baby could already feel it. "I wish I didn't have to tell you like this. You deserved more time, we all deserved more time. "

"I'm just glad I know, Rose," John answered, his eyes full of tears. He pressed a hand against her cheek, drinking her in. "I don't care about anything else right now."

Rose just looked up at him with a sad smile on her face, tears freely flowing down her cheeks again as he leaned down and kissed her, showing how much he loved her. "I know we haven't got much time left but…this is how I want to remember you," Rose admitted, relishing in the perfect moment of her little family all being together. It hurt, but it was beautiful and she would never regret it.

He gathered Rose in his arms, his own cheeks wet with tears as they clung to each other, trying to memorize holding one another for the last time. Each moment was so precious because now they both knew it wouldn't last.

Suddenly a loud noise from outside, a siren speeding towards what they assumed to be the Family surrounding the TARDIS. Rose jumped up, cursing time.

"Please, let me do this," John whispered, standing up to look out the window as Rose wept quietly into a pillow. "Rose, look at me," he said, turning around to face her.

"I love you," Rose said, putting her arms around John as he sat back down on the bed. "Please know that I love you," she whispered again, feeling the tremors shake his body.

"Rose, John Smith loves you. No matter _what_ happens, know that _I_ love you," he whispered into her hair. "And the baby…a beautiful child that we created out of love," he paused his hand reaching out and picking up the watch. It was so much hotter now, just begging him to click it open. "Goodbye, my Rose, you are worth it. All of it," John whispered, placing one final kiss of Rose's forehead as she pulled him against her. At the same time John clicked open the watch, everything changing in a shower of golden light.

 **And that's the end of John Smith.**

 **Opinions? Questions? Just want to say hi?**

 **REVIEW!**

 **Sorry I skipped some stuff, but didn't want it to be exactly the same as the episode.**

 **I love you all,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **He was back in control. The Doctor had his body back, but Rose was still crying.**


	12. Trapped in a Watch

**Hey all! Hope everyone's week is going as well as mine! I just finished with all my tests and am so much more relaxed so decided to post!**

 **This chapter is from the Doctor's perspective, so sorry if you thought the plot was moving forward. I think this chapter is important to consider though with the story.**

 **Read and enjoy/.**

 **Also, shameless plug, I just published a new story called "She Blinked" about Rose being there in 1969 and the Weeping Angels! Check it out...**

Trapped in a Watch

The Doctor was conscious.

But he couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't do anything but watch. And it was killing him. Literally felt like it was ripping him apart. He could never turn it off, nope, he had to see it all. Watch every single moment. He was within and he was without. He was the man smiling at his wife and he was the man across the street watching the exchange.

This feeling, this overwhelming jealousy was new to the Doctor. Sure he had been jealous before, especially when he was in his ninth form. Watching Rose string Mickey along, flirt with Adam, and practically swoon at Jack's feet had filled his body with jealousy. But this was different, it was so much more than that. Compared to what he was feeling now those feelings had been nothing more than a tickle. Now it was all he could feel, and it was pulling him apart.

He pushed, he tried, but he couldn't move. Because the Doctor was trapped inside of a watch. A pathetic human fob watch that could be opened in a single click was containing the Oncoming Storm with ease. Each time he resisted he felt as if he was being pushed back into nothingness. So he stopped resisting, he sat still and he watched. He could feel it though, feel the walls of the watch chaining him in. No one touched the watch, he was shoved into the bottom of a drawer forgotten about. Tossed aside like a broken promise. But he was aware, he was there every moment he was in the watch. He wanted to get out and breathe, to control his arms, to be able to run his tongue over his now familiar teeth. But he was forced to wait, to be contained.

The Doctor was surprised at first. He had never used the Chameleon Arch before and he assumed that he would simply wake up in three months' time with no memories of what had occurred. And now he wished for it to be true, yearned for the nothingness. He was left with only himself for company. And that was a horrifying position to be in, he _despised_ himself. He thought he would rather have anything than that. That was, until he realized what he was damned to do. He would have to stay there in the watch for three months and watch Rose fall in love with someone that wasn't him.

The first moment he was inside of the watch he was surprised by all the vivid sensations that attacked him. He could feel it, he could feel the floor of the TARDIS poking into his back. He could feel Rose kneel down next to him, feel her soft fingers caress his cheek, feel her tears that had rolled onto his cheek. And he could see it all as if he was watching from above, see his body lying limp on the floor as Rose huddled over him, making sure he was still breathing. But he wasn't there at all, he could feel the bounds of the watch around his consciousness. And he couldn't control anything, he was left to watch it all with eyes that weren't truly his.

He yearned to take control of the limp fingers and reach out to Rose, reassure her that he was okay and was with her even then, but that was impossible. So he was forced to watch, wincing a few times, as his head bounced on doors and corners as Rose dragged _his_ body to her mother's flat.

He was happy at first, oblivious as to what would happen next. All he knew and saw was that Rose was touching him. Well, not _him_ really, but to her that body still contained the Doctor. He sat and thought as he watched his body in sleep being watched by the surprisingly gently Jackie Tyler. He played back the taped message he had left for Rose in his mind, wondering if she was watching it right now. Would she understand? Understand what he was unable to put into words? She knew, didn't she? She knew that she was his and he was hers, she had to. It was unspoken but that didn't make it any less true.

It was odd when the man who now controlled his body, John Smith, woke up. He wondered if this was what it felt like to Rose when he had regenerated. Because in a way it was very similar. John Smith _was_ the Doctor. He was everything the Doctor was or could be. But there was a difference, a slight change that would make this man a stranger to Rose. John Smith was a story, one side of the Doctor written down in a person.

The onslaught of memories were a surprise when they hit him. He now knew everything that John knew, felt what he felt. But he was not him, he was contained inside of a watch. He couldn't take control of his own tongue and explain to Rose what was about to happen to her.

No, this man was too much like him, much too similar. He loved Rose. He simply adored every inch of her. Rose was imprinted on every molecule of this man. And he could give Rose everything the Doctor never even dared to think of. The Doctor wasn't sure what to think, how to react to the fact that he had accidently created _himself_ to be his Rose's husband. The TARDIS knew the Doctor's secret desires that is how John Smith was created. Every human thought or memory he had was compacted into John Smith, living a life day after day in a way the Doctor never could.

The Doctor retreated deeper into the watch, just absently watching what was happening as he tried to block out John's thoughts about Rose. He was pleased to see how terrified Rose was when she found out the truth, discovered just what John Smith was to her and the part she would have to play for three months before she could open the watch and release him.

After that time seemed to fly by for the Doctor. He tried not to feel offended when Rose tossed the watch into a drawer and slammed it tight, hardly ever opening it again. There was a few select moments that the Doctor relished in when Rose took the fob watch out of the drawer and held it and whisper about how much she missed him. But he was slowly but surely losing Rose, he could tell. From John's eyes he watched Rose fall in love. Fall in love with someone else. And that just about killed him. If there was one thing he was sure of now it was that when he came back to Rose he would try to make her understand just how much he loved her. He shouldn't, he couldn't keep her forever, but oh how he _wanted_ to. Wanted to hold that pink and yellow human in his arms for the rest of time.

So he did the only thing he could do, he fought back. Eventually he found a breach to slip through, but he still wasn't in control. But this was good enough for the moment. Because every single night the Doctor let his memories become John's dreams. He _needed_ this man to know who Rose really was, how amazing she was and all that she was capable of. And he wanted to show John that he was still there every moment that the Doctor still had a bit of control over his body. But it was only dreams and John took them as such, eventually taking to writing the Doctor's past adventures in a journal.

The first time John and Rose made love the Doctor had screamed and kicked and begged for it to stop. He tried his hardest to do _something_. Anything would do as long as he didn't have to watch this, to _experience_ this. He felt so much more jealousy than he even knew existed in this universe. He _hated_ John, he cursed everything about that man who was taking Rose from him. He was sure he had never despised anyone more than John Smith at that moment. Well, there was always someone that he hated with no abandon. Himself. The Doctor despised himself more than ever because he _enjoyed_ it. And he was a disgusting old man trapped inside of this human's body and he could feel everything. He was sure that was the closest he has ever come to hating Rose, that moment when she said John's name instead of his. The Doctor wanted Rose to be with him, to have her cry out _his_ name, not the Doctor, but his _real_ name. He wanted to feel how it felt to hear those syllables rolling off of her tongue. And that disgusted the Doctor because Rose deserved much better than he could ever dream of giving her.

The weeks seemed to fly by and the Doctor sat in a haze. He wanted to sleep, to lose consciousness for a few precious moments of the torture he was forced to endure. But he was forced to see it, to have to passively sit by and experience it without being able to control a single thing. He wished he had eyes to squeeze tight, but John had stolen those from him too. He was just consciousness now, forced to watch and be powerless to stop it. And he hated it, no, he _despised_ it. Even during those precious moments when John was asleep he wasn't free. No, he saw what was happening from above and he experienced what John dreamed about. Felt Rose nearby him, yet was unable to move a muscle to tell her that he was there. That was what was hardest, when Rose looked into his, no John's eyes, and was oblivious that the Doctor was seeing it too. He had to see her look into him and tell him that she loved him. But she wasn't telling him, she was telling John Smith. And he was there every second, yearning for her to say it, for his name to come from her lips as she spoke of her love for _him_ , the Doctor.

There was no reprieve from what was now his own personal hell. He felt it all, heard John's thoughts and tried to block out his own. He felt like an intruder now. Like he shouldn't be there when Rose smiled at him, that smile wasn't _his_ anymore. The Doctor felt everything the moment it happened, saw so much more than he should. When John and Rose made love he wished he was capable of begging for death. Because he could _feel_ it, every slight movement, every thought that flew through John's head. And Rose wasn't looking at him, moaning out _his_ name, touching _his_ body. To Rose he was gone, he was the story now. John Smith was what was real and the Doctor saw Rose's love for him growing every day. And he hated himself, hated himself for existing. This is what Rose deserved, not the ancient Time Lord that was capable of killing everyone he loved and running away. He wished he would stop feeling this, stop experiencing this life. Let himself go and give John Smith to Rose. Just John on his own, the _real_ John. Not the story with another man's consciousness begging to take control. But he couldn't.

Eventually one day he began to resist against the watch once more. Because he saw a bit of hope, he saw Captain Jack. He fought a bitter war against John and the man didn't notice as he conquered the Time Lord. The Doctor wanted to take control of that mouth and tell Jack to help him. He didn't care if the Family of Blood found him, he just wanted to go back to Rose and stop having to watch her with John Smith. But once again he failed and was contained by the bloody fob watch and saw the only man that could help him now walk away.

The Doctor wanted to cry whenever Rose looked into his, no John Smith's eyes now. Because she loved John more than she loved him. That he was sure of. But he couldn't do _anything_ at all. So he looked on and wished he had control over _something_.

And then John put into words the wishes that the Doctor had never even allowed himself to think about. He wanted to have children with Rose and he _asked_ her. The Doctor searched Rose's face through John's eyes and immediately knew what she thought. She wanted this with John that the Doctor was confident of. But she told him no because she remembered the Doctor trapped inside of a watch. And the Doctor, no matter how much he hated John at that moment, he wanted to tell her how sorry he was that she couldn't have what she never knew she wanted. Because that was something she could never physically have with the Doctor. And John couldn't even give that to her because he couldn't last forever. Because the man, the man who was barely held back by the fob watch now, still existed.

It was then that the Doctor began to stop resisting against the stupid watch for quite a while. Because he knew there was not anything that he could do now, nothing could stop the inevitable. It would break Rose when John would open the watch because he had to. And the Doctor hated himself for how badly he wanted that to happen because he didn't want Rose to be hurting. Nevertheless, the days flew by for everyone except for the Doctor who grew more restless each moment that came closer for his return to Rose.

The Doctor was suddenly figuring out what was happening the moment he saw Paul come up to Rose and John at that ridiculous party. He knew Paul from John's interactions with him and he knew something was wrong, everything was beginning to unravel. Because Rose wasn't ready for him yet, she needed more time with John. But the fact that the Doctor was contained the watch did little to control him the moment Rose was in trouble. Because that moment when they tried to hurt his Rose the Doctor exploded for all he was worth and for a few precious moments he felt what it was like to be free for a moment. He felt his fingers and he was able to control them as his rage burned, the fury of the Time Lord was able to escape into John Smith just enough that the man knew what he had to do. John had to save Rose for _him_ , for the Oncoming Storm and the Doctor was proud of his human counterpart as he and Rose escaped from the Family of Blood.

For a few fleeting moments the Doctor was happy because he only had minutes until he was back, until he could be back for Rose. Then Rose dropped a bombshell, something even the Doctor hadn't thought of. The Doctor didn't know how he should respond at that moment, so many emotions had filled him. But he couldn't do anything about them, they had just been built up as he lurked within the watch and the release was coming. Rose, his Rose, was pregnant. And she told John, told him that he was going to be a father. Except she wasn't telling the Doctor those words, she was telling another man. He was sure that he had never felt jealousy like this before and it surprised him how he responded to the news. He could almost do it, feel something as he stretched out his fingers. But he couldn't, it was all a fantasy. No, he was trapped in a watch.

He wished he could give them privacy now, Rose and John, during their last few moments together. Because now it was John's time. His last chance at life. Soon he would be tucked away inside of the Doctor unable to control anything. And the Doctor pitied him. No matter how often he had cursed him, hated him, felt jealousy towards him John Smith would soon experience what the Doctor had for those past three months. And he wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially someone Rose loved. Because he didn't want his Rose to be in pain. No matter how much suffering it brought to him he wanted to see her smile.

Then the moment arrived, the moment he felt John's fingers wrap around the watch he was contained in. He was about to open the watch and let the Doctor out for the first time in three months. And then he would be in control again. Except he was scared, outright terrified about what would happen next. It wasn't of the Family of Blood, he knew he would have no problem getting rid of them. After all, that wasn't why he had run. No, he was being kind to them to let them die naturally on their own. He had wanted to do something so that he was just a bit more worthy of Rose, let someone off easy for once. He was petrified of what would happen with Rose, scared for how he would respond to her. Those months had done nothing to suppress how much he loved her, but that wasn't what was going to come between them now. The baby was what would have made his hearts stopping if he wasn't in the watch at the moment. The child that he was trying to wrap his mind around, the child that would either bring him and Rose together or push them apart forever. And now it was time to face everything. John was opening the watch and Rose was crying.

"AHHH!" the Doctor's consciousness sung, finally being able to feel again. Not just see and think, but physically feel on his own. He flexed his fingers, he was able to move those fingers he had despised for months all on his own. He was back in control. The Doctor had his body back, but Rose was still crying.

 **So?! Thoughts? Reasonable? Realistic? What is he going to do?**

 **Let me know in a review and you get virtual cookies!**

 **Love,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **"Go away," Rose murmured, pressing her face against her pillow. She couldn't deal with this now. He hated her, why would she want to hear him say it out loud? Why couldn't he leave her in peace to mourn for John tonight?**


	13. The Empty Watch

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry...**

The Empty Watch

Rose peeked out of one eye, glancing up at the familiar neck that blocked her view of everything else. She could already feel the change in him, knew the watch had worked and the Doctor was back. Just from the way he held his body she knew that her John Smith was gone and she would never be with him again. She felt like her heart was literally breaking, ripping apart inside her chest. This was so much worse than she imagined.

"Doctor?" Rose whispered to the frozen man as the watch fell, open and empty, next to her on the bed as it dropped out of the his hand. She heard the Doctor take several shuddering and deep breaths and unconsciously tighten his arms around her as he oriented himself. Rose was at least relieved this didn't seem to be as painful of a transition as it had been when the Doctor made himself human, she didn't know if she could deal with seeing another man she loved writhing in pain as all his cells were rewritten.

It took a few minutes before she felt the Doctor shift a muscle again, rather abruptly releasing his grip on her. He adeptly rolled off of the bed to stand next to the bed, probably realizing what an intimate position he had been in with Rose. As he stood and looked at her, Rose suddenly felt embarrassed at the intensity of his gaze as she thought of what to say to him about all that had happened. From the look in his eyes, she knew that he remembered. He remembered every single moment of the past three months and judging by the way his face was set, he wasn't happy about any of it.

"Rose, you need go to Jackie's," the Doctor ordered, his eyes not meeting hers as he finally spoke. His voice was flat, lacking the emotion it usually held. "I'm going to go deal with the Family. Just go to your mothers."

"But the Family of Blood," Rose gasped, hardly believing he was getting straight into business. No matter how upset the Doctor was with her, she wasn't going to let him go in harm's way without her. She still loved him, even if he hated her now. "They want to kill you, Doctor," she reminded him gently, hoping he was okay after his months of being in the watch. Who knew what negative effects that may cause.

"What's new?" the Doctor asked, so much truth to his statement. His voice was so emotionless and the dark chuckle he let out practically stopped Rose's heart. She knew from his tone of voice how his eyes would look. This was why he was called the Oncoming Storm. She hated the Oncoming Storm. Although she was sure he would never hurt her, a part of her was terrified of him when he got that dark look in his eyes. When she didn't move or respond to him, he spoke up again. "Can you please just listen to me and go to your mothers, Rose."

Rose knew neither of them was in the right mood to argue about this. There was a group of evil aliens outside wanting to kill them. A lot had to be said, but perhaps it would have to wait. But that didn't mean she was okay with not talking about this right now, all she wanted to do right now was to scream at him until her face turned blue. And then she wanted to hug him so tight because she _missed_ him. And then cry into his chest, angry at him for leaving her. She wanted him to understand how upset she was that he had trapped her into a sham marriage for three whole months and then had the audacity to be angry with her for following his instructions and saving both of their lives. What the hell did he expect her to have done instead? Abandoned him? Let him leave her instead? Biting her lips, she looked away from the Doctor and went into the closet, closing the door behind her so she would have privacy to freak out. She dug out the clothes she hadn't worn in months, she needed to change out of this uncomfortable dress. The simple clothes was a comfort she needed right now. She yanked on her old jeans and sweatshirt, pulled on her worn trainers, and managed to hold back her tears. While she was dressing she heard the Doctor pacing outside the door. Despite how much she wanted to slam her hands over her ears and pretend like that blocked out all sound, she was intrigued by what the Doctor was doing. The sharp bang scared her the most, it was the sound of the Doctor kicking the bed frame in frustration. All of her nightmares were coming true now and it was worse than she could have imagined. This must have been what the bow tied man had warned her about, why he had looked at her with such pity. He was going to leave her. He was going to leave her with a baby that wasn't really his. He hated her now. John had left her, unwillingly as it was, and now the Doctor would too.

By the time she was dressed and had collected herself enough to open the door, the apartment was eerily empty and quiet. Apparently the Doctor had left to deal with the family without checking to make sure that Rose was safe first. There had been many times when she was alone in the flat, but it was never like this. Although she knew the heat was on, Rose felt herself shiver at the sudden coldness in the room. It felt like a funeral parlor; the corpse of she and John's life together the main attraction. Rose swallowed the lump in her throat and went outside, surprised that the chaos caused by the Family was not present and neither were the aliens. The Doctor had either moved them somewhere else or they had fled from the Oncoming Storm. Getting a taxi, Rose made her way to her mother's flat in record time. It seemed as if time had slowed down once she reached the Powell Estates, all she wanted at the moment was her mum's comforting embrace and a nice cup of tea.

"Mum," Rose sobbed the moment her mother opened the door. She didn't realize how much she needed her comforting presence until right now. Rose practically fell into her mother's waiting arms, feeling like a child again. It was everything she could do to not start crying and tell her mum everything then and there.

"Rose, what is wrong?" Jackie asked, having never seen her daughter so upset, even after the Jimmy fiasco. Rose had appeared so happy only the day before and she wasn't supposed to open the watch until next week. She had an idea of what it could be, had suspected something had gone wrong all night. After all, she had seen on the television about wax figures coming to life. As usual, the networks were writing it off as a student prank. But that didn't convince Jackie, she had been connected with the Doctor too long to naively believe that. She just knew something terrible had happened and if that was true. the Doctor was back and John was gone.

"John is gone," Rose whispered, confirming Jackie's hunch. She tightened her arms around her daughter. "He had to open the watch because the Family of Blood found us," Rose sobbed, quickly explaining the story to her mother between her tears. She made sure to include how imperative it was that John had to leave her, never wanting her mother to think that John had willingly abandoned her.

Jackie asked a few more seemingly innocent questions to get the whole story. However, she now had to confront the elephant in the room. "Where's himself then?" Jackie asked, peeking around the door frame to ensure he wasn't just outside. Rose would be understandably upset that John was gone, but Jackie had assumed that the Doctor would be there. And, despite Rose's feelings for John, her daughter would be relieved and happy to be reunited with the alien. "I know you really did love John, but I also know how much you missed that daft old alien, so where is he?" Jackie questioned again.

"It isn't that simple," Rose began, her voice sounding like a child once again. Her face was somehow even paler, her hands trembling with the effort of what she was about to say. "I'm pregnant," Rose managed to choke out, running to her old bedroom before Jackie could stop her. As she slammed the door behind her, her mother stood there dumbfounded at the sudden news.

…

The Doctor, his mind swimming with all of John Smith's new memories, made his way to the location of the Family of Blood's ship. They had run off to hide the moment the watch, the memories of his past victories seeping into their minds. He had easily formulated a plan, wanting to do it as quickly as possible to limit the damage they inflicted. After all, he had other more difficult matters to deal with in the form of a pink and yellow human, but he needed to deal with the Family of Blood first. No one else was going to die for him.

"Hello there, I am going to give you the watch," the Doctor stuttered, using a slight ventriloquy of the nose to ensure his voice sounded like John's. He walked into the ship unsteadily, glancing around at the spaceship like he had never seen. "I can't sacrifice myself for him," the Doctor lied, relieved that his human counterpart was at least selfless enough to open up the watch. His plan was to pretend that he would turn over the watch, which wouldn't even have worked if he was human. They'd kill him after consuming his Time Lord essence anyway. With unlimited lifespans, the Family would just conquer the universe with that sort of power and he could never let that happen.

The Family just cackled, believing his, snatching the watch out of the Doctor's hand as he tripped and braced himself against the side of the ship. Running his hands over the side panels in a seemingly random pattern as he pulled himself up. He looked the Mother as she opened the watch and sucked air in, expecting to consume some of the Time Lord power.

"What? It's empty!" Paul shrieked as he noticed the watch was empty, turning to glare at the Doctor as he realized that they had been duped. "How dare you!"

"Whelp, I could never really just give you the watch like that," the Doctor exclaimed, glad he was finally able to act like his true self again. He wished he had his glasses so that he could slide them on, but they were still with his suit on the TARDIS. "On the other hand, you shouldn't have let me hit all those buttons…" he exclaimed, glancing at each of the members of the Family with disdain. "Your ship is going to explode," the Doctor announced so that there would be no confusion, acting like his usual self as he sprinted off the ship, the Family right on his heels. They barely made it to safety before the ship exploded behind them.

The Doctor, standing over the fallen Family, released the fury of the Time Lord that had been contained for so long, reminding them that he had been merciful by changing into a human in order to allow them to die on their own. But they had mucked that up for themselves by waking him up a week early.

With a separate plan for each of them, the Doctor ensured that the Family of Blood got what they wanted. They got to live forever, just not quite how they had imagined it. The Doctor trapped Elizabeth in a mirror, in every mirror. Paul was put into suspended animation as a wax figure, to be mocked for eternity. As for the parents, he sent the Father into a dwarf star wrapped in unbreakable chains and the Mother was trapped in a collapsing galaxy for the rest of time.

And then, with the Family of Blood defeated, the Doctor collected himself and went on to the more complicated part of his day.

…

The Doctor walked to Jackie's flat after changing back into his usual pinstripes in the TARDIS. He took a deep breath to collect himself before he lightly knocked on the door. He didn't even bother with plastering a friendly expression on his face he watched as Jackie pull the door open this time around. With barely a nod of recognition, Jackie turned and led the short way to Rose's door with the Doctor right on her heels. He was sure Jackie had words for him, but right now knew that Rose needed him the most.

"Sweetheart?" Jackie lightly whispered as she pushed Rose's door open. "The Doctor's here," Jackie explained, not sure if her daughter even wanted to see him right now. But, after saying those words, Jackie knew it was her time to leave and made her way to the other side of the small flat. She knew that she may have to intervene in on their conversation soon, but she wanted to give them a few moments of privacy as well. And, if she was quiet, she could probably hear every word they were saying through the thin walls.

The Doctor slowly made his way closer to where Rose was curled up at the head her bed, sure to close the door behind him for some facade of privacy. He had seen her in this vulnerable position countless times and it twisted his hearts each and every time. Whenever they were unable to save someone on their adventures she retreated to her room to mourn for them. At first he had let her do it in privacy, but recently more often than not he went with her and held onto her as she cried. Afterwards he would take her to an ice cream shop in the 1950's and let her eat as much as she wanted. He halfway smiled at that memory, thinking back to the few precious times that they had danced in that diner in front of the jukebox. But he couldn't do that today, she was crying and it was his fault. She wasn't crying for an alien she had met for an hour, no, she was upset for so much more than that. He hadn't exactly handled their reunion as he should have... He let out a sigh that he hoped would cause her to look up and acknowledge him, but she just pulled herself tighter, burying her face against her knees without looking up at him.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered, nudging her on the shoulder. When she refused to acknowledge him, he tried again, only to get a huff in response as she shifted towards the middle of the bed. "Rose Marion Tyler," the Doctor said, using her full name in the hopes that it would motivate her to look at him.

"Go away," Rose murmured, pressing her face against her pillow. She couldn't deal with this now. He hated her, why would she want to hear him say it out loud? Why couldn't he leave her in peace to mourn for John tonight?

"You need to talk to me," the Doctor argued back, trying to keep his voice calm and collected.

Slamming her eyes shut even more, Rose shook her head. What would they have to talk about? He was the Doctor, he didn't do domestics and now she was about the epitome of it. Like he would ever let her back onto the TARDIS after all that had occurred.

Knowing he would have to go about another strategy, the Doctor let his fury from being trapped in the watch come to the surface. He needed to unleash it and knew it would at least get Rose's attention on him. He just hoped Rose would forgive him for what he was going to say next. "You didn't even think of me at all, did you?" he asked, letting out his insecurities. "How dare you do this to me? Do you have any idea what sort of situation you've put me in!" the Doctor groaned, his face full of anger as he paced back and forth in front of her small bed. After all his suffering inside of that damned watch and now Rose wouldn't even look at him.

"Done _what_ exactly?" Rose whispered finally, knowing that she needed to keep her own anger and betrayal in check. It hurt and she was so confused. Finally relaxing her body, she glanced up at the Time Lord pacing in front of her, immediately regretting her decision. Looking at the Doctor was hard, he looked exactly like John Smith, the man she had slowly grown to love. But in the same way this was _her_ Doctor back. And she had missed him so much that she could hardly stay upset with him. All she wanted to do was launch herself at him so that he would pull her in for one of his amazing hugs, picking her up off the ground for a moment as he spun them around. But, at the moment, there was a wall between them. Still, how dare he come here and talk to her like he was in control of her. He may be the Oncoming Storm, but she was the Bad Wolf. She would be a mother soon and now she understood why there was nothing more dangerous than a mother concerned for her own child's life.

"Rose, right now isn't the time to play one of our little games," he began, referring to how they brushed all of their problems under the table until they disappeared, never talking about the big issues. "I know everything that happened, Rose," the Doctor explained, sitting down on the edge of her bed as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "And now you have to sit there acting like you don't even know me," he admitted. He hated how he felt like he had to keep his distance from her and stay as far away from her as possible. He just wanted, no needed, to wrap his arms around her and hold her like he had before everything had gone wrong and he was forced to use the Chameleon Arch. But neither of them moved an inch. Rose just sat there, her shoulders hunched as if she were trying to make herself smaller – too small for him to notice.

Rose didn't know how to respond in words, so she turned away from his probing gaze and hid her face against her knees as she felt hot tears trail down her cheeks. She couldn't help it; _everything_ was falling apart for her. She had no idea what words to say to the Doctor, or even what she wanted him to say to her. Well, actually, she wished he would tell her he loved her, but that would never happen. It was foolish, but she had always had a part of her that hoped the Doctor would be okay with this. In her wildest fantasies, he had been overjoyed that she was pregnant. After all it was the closest they could ever come to having a child together. And, even though they weren't officially together before the Family of Blood, Rose had naively imagined they were heading that direction. But all of her dreams had shattered by the look in his eyes. He looked angry and terrified, but most of all he just looked sad.

At hearing the sound of Rose choke on a sob she was trying to hide from him, the Doctor knew she wasn't going to be the first one to speak of what they wouldn't acknowledge. He gently coaxed Rose to lift her head and look at him with peaceful words. It took several minutes of probing, but eventually she did. The look on her face, the barely hidden anger, the betrayal, the complete and utter pain, made the Time Lord pray to any world's God that he would never see such an expression on anyone's face ever again. But not Rose, never on her face again as long as his hearts were still beating. "Tell me what you want and I'll do it," he whispered, never meaning any words more. She had that effect on him, he really would do whatever she wanted. He was over 900 years old, but if Rose Tyler, who was not much over twenty years old, had that expression on her face he would do anything to make her smile again.

"I can't tell you what to say, Doctor. After all, I am just another stupid ape to you," Rose said, being cheeky just to get on his nerves. She knew her attempts at getting him to talk about his feelings were futile as she looked up at the Doctor's face again. He was trying to remain calm for her, she could clearly see that, but his eyes were so upset. Their relationship had been difficult enough to begin with and now she felt like she was pushing him towards something he despised, domestics.

"How do you think I would ever feel right now, Rose?" the Doctor snapped out, the expression on his face finally matching his eyes. " _I_ didn't do anything wrong and you are acting like I just murdered a village. Do you understand that I was _trapped_ inside of that watch for months on end, powerless to do anything at all?" he yelled, getting out the words he had been holding back. "I just got back and you seem to hate me and keep pushing me away! You're being selfish," the Doctor announced, surprising Rose with what he thought about her. "Do you have any idea how I feel? I didn't ask for this to happen. I didn't want any of this! Not this way! Not like this. Not with someone else. And definitely not with _him_ ," the Doctor yelled, his voice rising in volume and intensity as he spoke, ignoring the fact that she was on the verge of tears at his cruel words, just spitting out what he was thinking at the moment at her.

Before Rose had all the way processed what the Doctor had said, her mother stormed into the room, having heard what the Doctor had yelled. "You have no right to talk to my daughter like that!" Jackie shouted, true to her nature slapping the Doctor hard across the face. "Y _ou_ were the one who was gone and left her here alone with a human husband who looked exactly like you! What did you expect her to do in that situation?"

"She didn't need to do all of this, she could have used her thick head and thought about the consequences of her actions," the Doctor hissed, for once not caring about the wrath of Jackie Tyler. In the state he was in, Jackie was a minor road bump compared to the other issues he had in his future. It wasn't fair, Rose had been his, he was sure that she would have stayed with him forever. And now? How could she even look at him without seeing the human man she had fallen in love with?

However, the moment he said the words he knew it was a mistake, a big one. Although he and Jackie had never got along all that well, they had come to a silent agreement to bear each other's presence for Rose's sake. "No. You listen here. I don't care if you are the lord of time, this is my daughter and no one says those things about her," Jackie huffed out. "I have quite a few words for you. Rose did her best, you know. She didn't want to hurt you like his. You pushed all of the responsibilities on her shoulders and this is what she had to do. What the _hell_ else was she supposed to do? Up and leave you when you told her not to?" Jackie asked, raising her eyebrows as if daring him to contradict her. "You were the one who instructed her to go along with _whatever_ story got implanted into your head. You are always telling her to listen to your instructions and the one time she actually does you are upset with her. Tell me, using that big Time Lord brain of yours, what the _hell_ did she do to deserve this? You were the one who left her here with little warning, not telling her she would end up with a husband and a life she never dared to ask from you. She took care of you for three months and _this_ is the thanks she gets?" Jackie finished, saying all that she had been wanting to yell at him since Rose had shown her the watch.

"Do you think I wanted her to go and fall in love? I didn't ever imagine anything like that happening," the Doctor stammered out, rubbing his eyes. "I was forced to watch every single moment of it like a cliché romance movie and be powerless to do anything about it. There was no reprieve from my own personal hell for months, Jackie, and you think I am being unfair right now!" the Doctor spat out, turning with angry eyes towards Jackie, preparing for a sparring match with words with Rose's mother.

"And you don't think this is hard for Rose? You should've seen how hard it was for her at the beginning when you left her on her own," Jackie argued back, knowing exactly how guilty Rose already felt. "She didn't _want_ to love him, she just wanted it to be an act until you came back. But he adored her and she missed you. She was lonely and he was there for her the entire time, in love with her, and not too much of a _coward_ to say it," Jackie stated, giving the Doctor a sharp look, daring her to contradict her. "So you can't blame her for that. You say you were there, you know what happened. She came here sometimes crying, my poor baby. And it wasn't like there was anyone else to help her with that besides me, you ripped her out of her life here on Earth. It was hard on her, having a man want the same things as her and actually _tell_ her."

"Stop it," Rose finally spoke up, looking between Jackie and the Doctor practically bristling at each other. "Please don't talk about me like I'm not here. I just can't take it right now. Please?" Rose whispered, her voice small and frail. For once she actually appeared her age, young and scared. She couldn't listen to them fight over her, it was too much right now to know how hurt the Doctor had been by her actions. She buried her face in her knees once more, wishing that she could have escaped a few hours ago. But, more than anything else, she really didn't want to be in the middle of their argument right now.

After a few tense moments of eye contact daring the other one to say something between Jackie and the Doctor, Jackie gave up and sighed while turning towards her daughter. "Rose? Do you want me to make sure he leaves? Because I will. It would be my pleasure, actually," she said, giving the Doctor a harsh glare out of the side of her eye. "We can just order Chinese and watch terrible films like we did when you were younger," she suggested, knowing that Rose wouldn't take her up on the offer. Ever since she had met the alien, Rose had relied on the Doctor instead of her mother for comfort and she was sure tonight would be no exception.

"No, he can't leave because I'm not done talking with him yet," Rose explained, sounding surprisingly cool and confident. "Mum, can you give us some privacy?" Rose asked, surprised when Jackie just huffed in annoyance and left the room, slamming the door behind her, muttering about the bloody alien that was ruining her daughter's life as she did so.

After that, there were several long moments of silence as the Doctor and Rose stared each other down, neither knowing how to break the silence. The Doctor dropped his gaze in shame and hesitantly sat down of the bed next to her. Now that he'd had a few moments to process it all, he couldn't believe what he had said to and about Rose. He had yelled that _she_ was acting immature and she was acting more rational than the 900 year old Time Lord. He could already feel his jealousy dissipating, the need to comfort Rose filling him.

"Come here, Rose," the Doctor offered, holding out his arms hesitantly. He realized this was what he should have done first, pulled her into his arms after the months of separation. "I hate it when you cry, especially when it is completely my fault," the Doctor muttered, breathing a sigh of relief when she automatically nestled up into his arms, resting her face against his chest. It took everything he had to not just stop talking then and there because Rose was in his arms again. All was okay again. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Can you really remember everything about being John Smith?" Rose whispered, extremely grateful that she could bury her face against his familiar pinstripe suit once more. Of course she was mad at him, but most of her just wanted to talk to him, to understand what was going on his mind.

"Yes, I can," the Doctor said, his voice cold and reserved again. After what he had just said, the words he already wished he could take back, it was little wonder that Rose wanted John Smith back instead of him. He _could_ change back, _would_ if she only asked.

Rose sniffed, taking a deep breath of his familiar scent as she thought of the ramifications of his answer. She wasn't really embarrassed, there was nothing she had said to John that she wouldn't also utter to the Time Lord. "Is he in the watch?" Rose asked, not entirely sure how the process worked. She pulled away from him for a moment so she could read the expression on his face. "Or is he just gone?"

The Doctor sighed, resisting the urge to take Rose's hand in his. "He's a part of my mind," the Doctor explained, running a hand through his hair. "He was sort of certain aspects of myself pushed together," he paused, wondering if he should say the next line. If he did Rose may get the wrong impression, but it was technically _true._ "Everything that John Smith is and was, I'm capable of that too."

"You mean you could stay on a Sunday?" Rose asked, needing to tease him so that she wouldn't think about the ramifications of what he had just said. The Doctor never landed on a Sunday, preferring high energy Saturdays. He was 900 years old and terrified of living in a house. Rose swore she heard the Doctor mumble something under his breath, but then he let out a breathy chuckle and her heart soared.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered, glancing down at the bed. "If you want to ask..." he offered, praying she wouldn't say yes.

Rose suddenly shook her head, understanding what the Doctor was alluding to. She didn't honestly expect him to offer to change into John Smith again, but she would never put that on him. The Doctor needed to exist more than his human version. "No," she answered quickly, reaching out to readjust his tie like she had months ago. "I missed you, Doctor," she whispered finally, relief filling her at saying the words. It made her feel a bit guilty, to be so _happy_ that he was back, but she couldn't help it. He would always have a firm hold on her heart.

"I missed you too," the Doctor replied, pulling her in again for another hug. "But I'm back," he muttered against her hair.

At those words, the loss of John Smith finally hit her. The Doctor was really back, but that meant that John no longer existed. He wasn't real anymore. She couldn't stop the flood of tears that rushed to the surface, almost embarrassed as she cried. She mourned for him until she simply didn't have any tears left. Thankfully, the Doctor had stayed with her for the entire time, not saying much besides assuring her that she was going to be okay as she sobbed into his chest, only comforting her by rubbing on her back. But in a way it also felt like the Doctor was holding back somehow, as if he was reluctant to touch her, scared that his arms weren't the ones that she needed.

"Sorry," Rose whispered once she had finally gained control of herself, hoping she hadn't damaged his favorite suit as she pulled away from him. Worn out from crying, she leaned back against her pillow, not even wanting to think about how she looked with her mascara surely run all down her face.

The Doctor just offered her a half smile, at a loss for words. After several moments the silence was deafening, so he spoke up. "Is it bedtime for the human?" he asked, noticing how Rose's eyes were starting to droop. It was probably well into the night and Rose had an emotionally and physically challenging day.

"Maybe..." she replied, suddenly feeling awkward about the fact that the Doctor was sitting in her bed. Before the change it wasn't common for the Doctor to be rambling to her in her bed while she fell asleep or jump in next to her in the morning to wake her up, but now it was honestly weird. She had shared a bed with John for three months and they both remembered everything that had occurred in bed. Surely the Doctor was thinking the same.

"Do you want me to leave?" the Doctor asked when she remained silent, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. It was the last thing he wanted to do but he would do it if Rose wanted it to be so. Especially with the memories of John Smith fresh in his mind, the Doctor wanted to curl up next to her as she slept. But he wasn't exactly sure if she was comfortable with that close physical proximity anymore. He supposed he would have to walk past Jackie and face her wrath once more on his way to the TARDIS for the night. Or perhaps he could just spend the night tweaking the oven so it didn't have to preheat...

Rose was silent for another moment, weighing the option before she finally responded again. "Please don't tell me when you do leave, I can't say goodbye to you too," Rose answered, obviously assuming that if he left he wouldn't be back the next morning. "If you are going to leave me just do it now…don't pretend like you won't for my sake, it'll only hurt me more," she mumbled honestly, knowing that was the best thing. The Doctor was like a drug for her and if she didn't cut him off now she didn't know if she ever could.

The Doctor sat still for a few minutes, not sure how to respond. Coming to a decision, he breathed out a heavy sigh and pulled out his sonic, turning the lights off and pulled the covers over Rose. He stood for a few moments, fiddling with his tie before he finally took it off and threw it to the floor, shrugging off his jacket as well. Without a word he got back into the bed, scooting over so that he was pressed up against Rose's back, his arms wrapping around her and securing her against his chest. He knew there was no way he could leave her unless she ordered him to. "You know I'm never going to leave you. I promised too."

"What are we gonna do?" Rose whispered, addressing the unspoken complication, her hands trailing up and down her still flat stomach. She was very aware of how the Doctor had purposefully placed his hands as far from her stomach as possible. It hurt, but she couldn't imagine him reacting in any other sort of way.

The Doctor didn't respond, just hid his face against the side of her neck, unsure of how to answer her question. He didn't want to talk about it. Rose needed sleep, that was his excuse right now. "I'm sorry I lost my temper like that."

"Just don't do it again," Rose responded dryly, already half asleep with the comfort of being in his arms.

"I will try my best not to do it ever again, I cross both of my hearts," the Doctor murmured, relief filling him when Rose whispered that all was forgiven.

With hardly another word spoken, Rose drifted off to sleep, hardly believing all that had happened that day and scared of what was going to come in the future.

With Rose safely asleep in his arms, the Doctor stayed up the whole night, barely moving an inch in fear of waking her up as his mind reeled with all of his new memories from John Smith as he tried to figure out what to do next.

 **Woo, that was a whirlwind? What did you think? What's going to happen? What do you want to happen? Believable?**

 **Answer in a review to win my affection!**

 **Love,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **Spoiler for next chapter:**

 **"Doctor, I love you," Rose murmured partly to end his rambling and because at that moment of his typical rambling she knew the words were true. She knew that she shouldn't have said anything at all as the felt the Doctor tense up next to her, quickly burying her face against her hands as he became as motionless as a statue.**


	14. The Morning After

**Another update! You're welcome!**

 **Enjoy and don't forget to review at the bottom with your thoughts.**

The Morning After

The Doctor jerked his head to the doorway when he heard the door begin to open, unconsciously drawing the still sleeping Rose tighter against his chest. Thankfully, Rose had fallen asleep rather quickly, sleeping rather peacefully through most of the night. This was one of those times he was glad he didn't have to sleep much; he was able to stay up all night and try to muddle through all of his conflicting thoughts. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would be more level headed when Rose woke up.

Seeing Jackie standing in the doorway, the Doctor began to worry about what she would say to him. Surely she would kick him out, or slap him at the very least. However, Jackie's face appeared rather calm as she steadily walked into the bedroom and sat down on the chair next to the bed. From the way that Jackie was acting, it looked like she was going to give him a talking to and the tension in the room was already uncomfortable enough.

"I don't want her to wake up when she is looking so peaceful," Jackie said, obviously warning the Doctor to be quiet and not wake her up. As angry as Jackie was at the Doctor for being so harsh to Rose last night, she did understand how hard this all was for him. He had been trapped inside a bloody watch and the moment he came back he discovered that Rose was indeed in love with his human counterpart and was pregnant. That would be hard enough for the average guy and the Doctor wasn't exactly one to deal with his emotions in the most healthy way.

"Yeah…" the Doctor awkwardly mumbled, slowly taking his hands off of Rose and scooting away from her until he was sitting on the edge of the bed facing Jackie, prepared for a famous Tyler lecture. This was going to be a very uncomfortable conversation, so he should at least attempt to be in a good position. Jackie was looking even more intimidating than usual, with her hair down and her eyes done up into a heavy smoky eye.

"Doctor, do you love my daughter?" Jackie asked, watching the Doctor's face as he sputtered for an answer. It was a bit amusing, seeing the ancient Time Lord looking at such a loss for words. He could face countless aliens trying to destroy him and the universe and deliver a grandiose speech, but a simple yes or no answer to Jackie Tyler was terrifying.

"Why would you ever even have to ask that?" the Doctor gasped out finally, his eyes flitting over to Rose's sleeping form. A part of him wished she would wake up so he wouldn't have to have this conversation with her mother. But he supposed it was better to be on good terms with Jackie than have her hate him for the rest of eternity.

Jackie just shook her head when he didn't discreetly answer her and spoke up again. "Rose is my only daughter and I love her, so I need to do all I can to make sure she will be safe and happy," she explained, the picture of a supportive mother. "I understand that you didn't plan for any of this to happen, but can I ask, did you know that you would be married to Rose when you turned human?"

"No, I wouldn't do that to her," the Doctor argued. He hated the fact that Rose had been pushed into such a difficult position. It had been agony for him to watch Rose fall in love with someone else, surely he wouldn't force that on himself. "I didn't know what would happen, it was programmed by the TARDIS," the Doctor explained, failing to mention where the TARDIS had gotten the idea from in the first place. His ship thought she was helping by forcing them together, but it very well may have ruined them instead. "I'm sorry, but I can't really apologize for John Smith," the Doctor continued, barely able to let the name fall off his tongue. "I never expected this to happen. Trust me, Jackie, I had no control over what happened."

"Doctor, nothing can be changed about that now, what's done is done," Jackie responded, emotion filling her voice as she brought up what she came in here to discuss. "Both of us know that isn't the major issue. There's one much bigger that no one is acknowledging," Jackie sighed, wiping away a stray tear before she continued. "Rose is going to have a _baby_ ," Jackie stopped, letting the word fill the room.

The Doctor sniffed, glancing around the room. "I know," he answered, his voice flat.

"I need to know if she is going to go through this alone," Jackie told him, understanding the burden of being a single mother herself. "I'm not going to slap you if you tell me the truth, everyone just needs to know," Jackie paused, continuing when the Doctor didn't say anything or look at her. "It would be better for you to leave now instead of getting her hopes up that she can have this with you."

"I don't know," the Doctor muttered, not knowing what he was supposed to say. He couldn't leave Rose, but he didn't know how he could stay either.

Jackie huffed, obviously taking his words as apathy. "Listen, I understand that you are a high and mighty Time Lord, but Rose matters too," Jackie huffed, speaking softer a moment later when she saw Rose shift like she was going to wake up. "Don't you dare drag her about, Doctor. Tell me now if you're going to run away in that box of yours so that Rose can prepare for that. And, if that is the case, I won't force you to stay because it is your decision," the blonde paused, taking a deep breath. "I would want you to leave as soon as possible. She doesn't need to get her hopes up about having a family with you, it would only hurt her."

The Doctor pulled at his hair, making it stick up even more, not knowing how to respond. He had barely had time himself to even think about the conundrum they were in. "Rose…I don't know if I can leave her. I just don't know what I am going to do, Jackie."

Jackie was shocked to see the Doctor, who she had always thought to be a strange and emotionless alien, on the verge of tears. And, in spite of how she felt about him at the moment, walked over and pulled him in for a warm hug. "Doctor, you need to help her right now either way. When I lost Pete it made me understand something. He left me with no warning at all and it took me a long time to accept that. And I don't want Rose to go through the same thing as me. If this is going to be the end, don't drag it on any longer. Say goodbye, she needs the finality. But if you do this, if you can stay, don't make her worry any longer that you will leave because you can't do domestics. She needs an answer, Doctor."

"But it isn't the same as you and Pete," the Doctor stuttered. He couldn't believe Jackie Tyler had just given him such important device. Perhaps even the push that he needed. "He died, he didn't leave you willingly. And Rose just lost John."

"And that's you saying you're going to leave," Jackie sighed, imagining how heartbroken Rose would be after losing both John and the Doctor. "Just make sure you give her a proper goodbye so she doesn't spend the rest of her life waiting for you to come back," she made to get up, not able to look at the Doctor anymore. She was disappointed, never really wanting to believe that the Doctor could leave her daughter like this.

The Doctor stood up then as well, blocking her path towards the door. "I'm not," the Doctor assured her, stammering over his words. "I'll be here," he added, making sure Jackie understood what he was saying.

Jackie visibly relaxed, a relieved smile filling her face. "Don't forget you'll always have a family here," Jackie responded, placing a comforting hand against the Doctor's cheek. And, for once, the Doctor didn't flinch away from her.

"Listen, I need to get to work, I'm already late as it is," Jackie announced, sounding upset that she had to be leaving at all. "Make sure to tell Rose I wanted to stay, but I have to go…please don't make her be alone in here all day," Jackie whispered, getting up to leave Rose's room, adding one more comment before she left. "I know you love her, maybe you haven't admitted it yet, but I know. And my Rose has loved you from the start, Doctor."

…

Not fully awake awake, Rose reached her hand out, surprised by the fact that the other side of the bed was empty and cold. However, before she opened her eyes, she thought about her dream from that night. It was odd, how quickly everything could fall apart. Her subconscious sure was evil to her right now.

"Doctor?" Rose whispered, hoping she was still in a dream. She knew that he had been right next to her when she fell asleep. Not like that meant she should expect him to be there in the morning, though. It had only happened a few times in the past, but Rose had woken up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare. Each time the Doctor had appeared in her room in moments as if he knew automatically when she needed him, making sure she was okay. She always asked him if he would stay once she calmed down, as it did help her fall back to sleep and prevent further nightmares. It was only since he got a new face that he had said yes and willingly climbed into the bed with her. But, even then, he was always gone when she woke up and she had no idea how long he stayed with her through the night. With that thought in mind, Rose fell back into a fitful sleep for a few more minutes.

Finally waking up from dreams this time, Rose rolled over closer into John's arms, her hands reaching up and pulling him down by his more spiky than usual hair for a kiss without opening her eyes. Feeling the slight resistance in his lips, Rose quickly opened her lips for him, breathing in relief as John's lips began to move against her own, the kiss quickly deepening into something much more than an innocent good morning kiss. Smiling against his lips, Rose pressed closer against him as her arms latched around his neck and he gently rolled so that he was hovering over her, his hands trailing up and down her sides as he pulled her tightly against his chest.

Rose let out a gasp of surprise a few seconds later when she remembered that all that had happened the day before was certainly not a dream at all. It had happened, all of it, and now John Smith was gone…which meant that the person kissing her was someone else. Her eyes snapped open, her mind most definitely fully awake now. She looked up to see the Doctor's face directly above her own, his deep brown eyes staring at hers with such intensity that it halfway scared her.

"Umm..." Rose muttered, her face flushing bright red as she realized her mistake. It was odd, having done a lot more than kiss with this body before, but not with this man present in it. She and the Doctor had only kissed a few times. How could she have been so stupid to kiss him and make everything awkward. A part of her mind reminded her that he had eagerly returned the kiss, but she pushed that away to analyze later.

Immediately the Doctor was off the bed, standing up next to her before she blinked. "Jackie left to go to work," the Doctor explained, appearing perfectly calm and normal. It was disconcerting, how he could hide his emotions.

"Oh," Rose mumbled, surprised her mother hadn't stayed for moral support. But perhaps she had left her alone with the Doctor so they would have privacy while discussing what they were going to do next. It appeared as if the Doctor was not going to acknowledge the fact that they had kissed so she decided not to act as if it occurred as well. That was just one less thing they had to work through today.

"She came in here early this morning and said she had to go to work. She apologized for leaving right now, but she has used all of her sick days already so she had to go," the Doctor quietly explained, pulling his hands through his hair, making himself look even more adorable with his hair sticking up more than she had ever seen it before. Obviously he had been pulling at it all night as he did when he was stressed. And from her judgement he needed a haircut, honestly had never noticed his hair looking out of place in the past. Perhaps it was just a side effect of the whole human thing.

Rose nodded, yawning as she sat up in bed. She was still tired even though, judging by how high the sun was in the sky, she had slept in. "I forgot to ask," Rose suddenly wondered aloud. She felt bad for not asking about it before, for forgetting the threat in favor of more domestic issues. "Did everything go okay with the Family of Blood?"

"They're dealt with," the Doctor said with a hint of finality, the dark glint in his eyes almost causing her to shudder. "They won't hurt anyone again."

"Paul and Elizabeth?" Rose asked, needing to know the fate of the two people she knew who had been possessed by the Family. However when the Doctor just shook his head she knew they were gone. She supposed they had left the moment they ran into the Family. Sure she had never liked Elizabeth, but she was a person who deserved better. And Paul, she had been his friend until he was overtaken.

Interrupting Rose when she was about to ask another question about the Family, the Doctor spoke up. "So where do you want to go today, Rose?" he asked enthusiastically, looking towards the doorway and avoiding her gaze.

"What?" Rose muttered, beyond shocked by the Doctor's sudden change of topic. He thought they were just going to go traveling again? She couldn't leave just leave without giving her mother a proper goodbye. Also, she wasn't even sure if it was safe to travel in the TARDIS when you were pregnant. Well, she decided, maybe if you actually knew how to fly the machine it would be alright. Though their propensity for running into danger certainly wasn't child friendly.

"What?" the Doctor retorted, confusion filling his features. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked again.

Rose furrowed her brows, not sure why the Doctor was being so difficult. She had probably just forgotten just how difficult the alien could be. "We can't just..." Rose trailed off, sure he knew what she was alluding to.

"I will just come back when you are sleeping on the TARDIS and clear up everything with John Smith's identity, that won't be an issue," he explained as if that was the only thing keeping her from running off with him. "But we could go to the Ed Sullivan Show to see Elvis today," he mentioned excitedly, speaking a mile a minute. "Or there is a library so big it's a planet. And there's that marketplace you were so fond of last time. Also there is a leisure planet I've been meaning to check out that has diamonds and a spa you'd love. There is a planet with grass that tastes like peppermint, sort of like apple grass. Remember apple grass, Rose?" he asked, pausing his ramble as he waited for her to answer him.

"Doctor..." Rose murmured, shaking her head. When he opened his mouth to start speaking she tried again. "I'm pregnant," she reminded him, wondering why he wasn't considering that at all.

The Doctor just glanced down at the floor. "And?" he questioned, dragging the word out.

"The lifestyle on the TARDIS isn't really child friendly," Rose began, standing up to face the Doctor so that he had to pay attention to her. "And you aren't even considering that there is going to be a little human in less than a year," she said exasperatedly. Was he just thinking by not acknowledging the baby it would magically disappear or something?

"It'll be fine," he assured her with a halfhearted wave of his hand.

How dare he act like this was nothing? Rose's annoyance turned to anger, this was everything not nothing. She was going to have to grow a baby inside of her and then spend 18 years making sure the child survived and made good choices. How did fighting aliens fit into that? Of course Rose's traitor mind had to imagine the Doctor running to save the Universe with a baby strapped to his chest, or a toddler wearing a replica of his suit. But feasibly was the time machine safe? Maybe if the driver had passed the driving test. And maybe if it wasn't true that wherever the Doctor managed to land disaster seemed to follow. "Doctor!" Rose huffed, making sure she had his full attention. "I _want_ this baby."

"I said I'd make sure everything was okay," the Doctor argued back, apparently fully confident in his abilities despite his track record. "You don't have to worry about that."

"What if that's not enough?" Rose asked, putting her hand on her hip. "I'll stay here on Earth if that's what it takes," she reasoned, knowing it was true the moment she said the words. "I would do anything for our child," Rose said, breaking the silence that had developed, not even realizing that she had instinctively said 'our' before the word child.

"Of course you would," the Doctor muttered, shifting so that he was standing closer to her. "That's Rose Tyler to the core, you love practically every monster we meet. Hell, you even gave a _Dalek_ mercy…there is no way you wouldn't already love the baby."

Before she could open her mouth to say anything more, the Doctor captured her mouth with his once more. She froze, her mind in overdrive. What was going on? Was the Doctor just kissing her to get back at her for John or because he was finally sick of hiding his feelings? However, when the Doctor put his hand on the small of her back to pull her closer and deepened the kiss she responded automatically. It surprised her how right this felt, as she had expected to feel guilty for her feelings for the Doctor after John. But she could never stop loving the Doctor, it felt like it was written in her DNA. Rose wasn't sure the Doctor's intentions for kissing her like this, but decided to let it happen just to see how far he would let this go before he went back to his usual mysterious self.

Just as Rose decided that she could stand there kissing him forever, the Doctor pulled away. As she began to frown, he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "Come on, I want to bring you back into the TARDIS," the Doctor murmured as she reluctantly released her grip on him. "She has missed you," the Doctor excitedly explained, noticing Rose's momentary hesitation. When she didn't respond, the Doctor just leaned down and scooped her into his arms bridal style. "It is tradition after all..." he mumbled quietly, causing Rose to blush at his insinuation.

"No, put me down first," Rose squealed, giggling when the Doctor just dropped her onto her bed and she bounced once. "I need a few human minutes first," she explained, feeling grimy and in much need of a shower and to brush her teeth.

"Sounds good to me," the Doctor responded, a wide smirk on his face. "As long as you don't take all day," he added cheekily as he left the room.

Rose reluctantly got out of the comfortable bed with a groan, she just wanted to crawl back in and sleep the rest of the day. She was writing it off as pregnancy hormones, her being so tired recently. And, she realized with a wince, she had been rather moody even before she realized it. Walking into her bathroom, Rose almost groaned in annoyance. She looked rather terrible. Her hair was just atrocious and so tangled she could barely run her fingers through it. And her face, she didn't even want to think about it. Her eyes were still pink and puffy from the crying and faint lines of mascara trailed down her cheeks. She grimaced at the thought that the Doctor had to look at her like this. Deciding that she deserved it after the day she had had, Rose ran a nice bubble bath for herself. She would have spent all day lounging in the tub, but she remembered the Doctor's warning not to take all day and forced herself to get out and get ready. After she felt like she could be presentable to society, Rose got dressed into some comfortable clothes and went into the living room as casually as she could.

It was the TARDIS, filling up the room. She had missed the old girl. Sure, she had been able to go visit her over the past three months, but it had been on half power then since the Doctor was gone and seeing all of its lights lit up, even from the outside, was amazing. The Doctor must have moved it into the flat when she was in the bath. Fumbling with the key she always kept around her neck, Rose quickly opened up the familiar doors and stepped inside.

"I thought you were never going to come back. I was halfway tempted to come after you," the Doctor joked the moment her feet hit the metal floor. He was halfway rolled under the controls, fixing the TARDIS as usual. He quickly finished up whatever he was doing and sat up, looking a bit out of place without his usual tie and jacket.

"Nah, you can't get rid of me that easily now," Rose joked, a more serious truth beneath her words. She couldn't believe it, that they were both together in the TARDIS again. She had dreamed about this moment for so long. Walking back onto the ship to see the Doctor at the controls, smiling at her like that.

As if she was still in a dream, the Doctor said just what she wanted him to. "I missed you so much, Rose."

Rose just smiled at him in response, wondering how to fill the silence as she went over and sat down at the jump seat. This was just like the Doctor, not bringing up anything that had happened. But, unlike every other time, Rose knew that they couldn't just push this under the bed like they usually did, she wouldn't allow it. "Was something wrong with the TARDIS?" she asked, wondering if the months of neglect would harm the ship.

"Not at all. She just missed being messed with, that's all," the Doctor said, taking a seat next to Rose as he glanced around. "She was a big miffed at me I think. I seem to be missing the bowling alley..." he muttered, a common occurrence whenever the Doctor did something his sentient ship didn't approve of.

"That's too bad. I haven't been able to beat you at bowling yet," Rose laughed, recalling all the fun times they had on the TARDIS even when they weren't traveling through space and time. She was surprised they were able to keep their conversation so light after everything that had happened.

However, that thought was quickly erased by what the Doctor did next. Without a bit of warning, the Doctor leaned forwards and kissed her again. She closed her eyes, surprised by how forward he was being as the Doctor brought a hand to the back of her neck to change the angle.

Rose wasn't sure why the Doctor kept on distracting her from what she was saying by kissing her like this. Not that she was going to complain. However, realizing this wasn't the most mature or logical solution, she spoke up. "Doctor…I think you found an effective technique to avoid talking about your thoughts again."

The Doctor let out a pathetic pout until Rose playfully pushed him away, asking him everything she needed to know about the Family and Chameleon Arch.

Rose just stared at the controls as they lounged on the jump seat, perfectly content with how she was right now. The Doctor had put his arm around her shoulders and her head felt simply wonderful resting against him. They had lapsed into a comfortable silence after the Doctor explained how he had actually defeated the Family of Blood. It was nice, Rose decided, to have the Doctor stroking her hair, and, if she wasn't mistaken, kissing the top of her head.

"So, if I were to look into a mirror right now I would see Elizabeth?" Rose asked, trying to wrap her mind around what he had told her. The rest of the punishments she understood, but this one just seemed a little odd, even for the Doctor.

"Well, not necessarily. You see, she is in a perception filter for now," the Doctor explained a little too nonchalantly for Rose's tastes "No one will ever be able to fully see her in there. Just sometimes, when you think you see something move on the edge of the mirror, that will be her," the Doctor explained, his words and tone of voice ominous.

"But why Elizabeth in the mirror?" she asked, curious about why each member of the Family had gotten equally unique and gruesome punishments.

There was a long pause before the Doctor spoke again. "She seemed rather fixated on appearances, didn't she?" the Doctor finally answered. Rose had to hold back a wince when she thought back to the memory of Elizabeth coming onto John. It had almost ruined everything with John.

Rose nodded, tight-lipped. At the same time her stomach gurgled rather loudly and she winced, hating her human stomach for interrupting them.

"Hungry?" the Doctor asked with a smile in his voice. This was one of those moments when Rose hated being so human, it made her feel inferior to the Doctor. He ate a lot, but she had never seen him complain about being sick or had his stomach growl when he was hungry. When Rose shook her head, he began talking again. "I mean, you really should eat if you are hungry," the Doctor began before launching into one of his famous rambling sessions. "Humans don't understand how they should treat their bodies, they really should, and it isn't that complicated. See, humans don't need all of the silly vitamins that they think they need, I believe that is just clever marketing schemes to make money for the large companies. The human race has lived for countless generations before now by eating from a very limited food variety, and they survived just fine, in fact they were actually much healthier. And, in the future, that will happen again, but your time is the worst with trying to act like they know how to create the perfect diet. Thankfully, the humans are very adaptable because they almost always survive, it really is amazing, they really shouldn't. They aren't built to survive as long as they did, supposedly humans still exist at the end of time itself," the Doctor said, going off onto a large tangent as he usually did, practically talking a mile a minute as he smiled down at her.

"Doctor, I love you," Rose murmured partly to end his rambling and because at that moment of his typical rambling she knew the words were true. She knew that she shouldn't have said anything at all as the felt the Doctor tense up next to her, quickly burying her face against her hands as he became as motionless as a statue.

The thick silence that filled the room was almost palpable and she swore she could feel any warmth in the room disperse as a cold feeling gripped her chest. Rose clenched her mouth tight, cursing herself for saying the words so quickly and ruining the lovely feeling that had existed between her and the Doctor that morning.

Just as Rose was going to say something to ease the tension, she felt the Doctor's lift her head so that their faces were turned towards each other. With unreadable eyes, the Doctor reached up and stroked her cheek, eventually leaning forwards and kissing her slowly. It was so different from the last kisses. This one was slow and gentle, as if he was trying to show her how much she meant to him.

"You are so acting different from what I expected," Rose murmured as the Doctor pulled his lips away from hers and rested his forehead against hers so that their noses touched.

"What do you mean, Rose? Bad different or good different?" the Doctor asked, amusement coloring his tone as he playfully kissed her on the tip of her nose. It was so like how he had asked her after he had regenerated.

"Just different…I just never thought you could stay in one place for so long just sitting there," Rose explained, thinking back to how she had always imagined the Doctor almost never sleeping and spending all night fixing the TARDIS no matter what when he wasn't running and saving the world.

With a short chuckle, the Doctor answered her. "For you, Rose. Anything for you."

At his loving words, Rose was quiet for a long while, trying to blink away the stray tears before the Doctor saw. She knew that was the closest the Doctor would ever come to saying he loved her. However, the Doctor immediately noticed and decided to change to a lighter topic. "Also Rose, I do have an issue with how you treated me these past few months…I remember distinctly eating a pear almost every day."

Rose couldn't help but laugh at that, recalling her subtle revenge against the Doctor for putting her in the difficult place. "Well, I had to punish you somehow. I mean, you could have at least warned me what sort of situation I would have been in when you left me. So I settled on the pears."

"But why pears, Rose? They are a deplorable fruit," the Doctor complained like a child, complete with one of his famous pouts.

"Well, John was very easy to persuade," Rose said. She stopped the moment she spoke the words, unsure of how the Doctor would respond to her casual mention of John. That was the last thing she needed, saying something that would chase the Doctor off after everything was going surprisingly well for them at the moment. "I mean…" Rose fumbled for something to say. "We always had pears in the kitchen."

"Yeah, I remember, Rose," the Doctor muttered, reminding Rose of what he had said last night. At first Rose thought that he was going to withdraw from her, but when he chuckled and kissed her forehead her worries were washed away. "You know, you don't have to be scared to mention John if you want to."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked quietly. She didn't want to push her luck but she felt like she deserved quite a few answers. It wasn't often that the Doctor was willing to openly talk about important matters and she wasn't going to let any moment of it go to waste.

The Doctor rubbed his eyes, a trait that John didn't inherit that Rose adored, before he spoke again. "John Smith obviously had the same body as me, but there was more as well. You see, the TARDIS wasn't completely alone in her decision to make you his wife. She had to get it from my thoughts, she thought she was helping us," the Doctor stopped for a moment to gauge Rose's reaction to his words. Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she was positively beaming at him so he continued. "That aside, John was just a story in some ways, but there was so much more than that. His memories of his past were just facts, no particular emotion of connection to them. But you, Rose, every thought he had about you was undeniably real, all of you and John's past was our past, as Rose and the Doctor, just slightly adjusted."

"Yeah, I could tell the similarities sometimes. It was nice and comforting to be able to relate to him that way," Rose sighed, recalling all the memories John had shared with her about their past life.

"I'm glad something made it easier, Rose. But I know you are hurting right now and I'm not mad. You lost your husband," the Doctor said. Rose tried to ignore the wince the Doctor had made when he said the word husband. "I want you to know that John Smith always was a part of me. But I'm still me, the daft old man who you met and stole you away in his magic blue box."

"I am so happy you're back," Rose whispered, she felt terrible saying it, but she was so glad to have the Doctor back. Of course she loved John, how could she not he was a perfect husband? But she had missed the gallivanting around the stars and the rush that accompanied living a life with the Doctor and the TARDIS. "Missed running around saving the world. The danger and all of that."

"Come on, I think the neighbors can hear your stomach by now," the Doctor said, effectively changing the topic. He quickly got up and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the TARDIS and into the kitchen.

The Doctor had just turned towards the pantry to look for something to eat when she felt a now familiar sensation in her stomach. Without a second though, Rose clamped a hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time.

"Oh right, I forget about the darn morning sickness," Rose whispered as she fought back the urge to gag again, tears running down her face as she thought of the long months ahead of her, with no one to even hold back her hair or rub her back. The Doctor had seen her leave, she was surprised he hadn't followed her. She had to admit it hurt a bit.

Once she was sure that she was done getting sick, Rose leaned back against the wall of the small bathroom. She tried to blink away the flood of tears as she thought of how much she would miss John because she had truly loved him, and the terror of not knowing what would happen between her and the Doctor.

However, the picture she had begun to form in her mind of the Doctor and her really together was shattered when she heard the unmistakable noise of the TARDIS coming from inside of the flat. She immediately knew he had left, her heart breaking as she realized the Doctor had ran away from her her, without even giving her an explanation or a goodbye.

Not able to hold it in any longer, Rose let her sobs out, the ripping sound filling the room as she buried her face into her hands, knowing that she was truly alone now.

 **I'm really not sorry.**

 **Thoughts? Confused?**

 **Let me know in a review, I smile when I see that someone commented!**

 **Love,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **SPOILER:**

 **"Sweetheart, why are you crying?" Jack gasped, scared by sorrow and sadness in Rose's voice and immediately feared the worst. He assumed that Rose meant that John had opened the watch. He couldn't imagine the Doctor having it in him to leave Rose behind. But there was only one person who could make Rose cry like that and now Jack had a new mission to go find the pretty boy and break his nose.**


	15. Banana Pancakes

**Hi guys! I am so excited to update this story again, all my readers are the best!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't hate me anymore.**

 **Read on...**

Banana Pancakes

Rose, after crying herself into exhaustion, practically crawled out of the bedroom before collapsing onto her bed, fighting off another wave of tears when she saw the Doctor's tie lying on the floor. Her mind could barely understand it, he had left her. He promised he wouldn't and she had believed him. Of course she had believed him, he was the Doctor and she had been in love with him for quite a bit longer than she wanted to admit.

Her traitor mind reminded her of her strange meeting with the future Doctor wearing a bow tie. His eyes had been so ancient and sad, a direct contrast to his quirky style and innocent face. Even though she didn't know him and knew she would never get the opportunity now, her heart went out for the floppy haired Doctor. He obviously, in the distant future, regretted leaving her. Her mind reminded her that it may not even be regret, perhaps guilt was the reason for the pained expression on his face.

Rose closed her eyes, wishing to forget why she was hurting right now, why the Doctor pitied her. Knowing exactly what she needed at the moment for support, Rose pulled out her phone, and immediately dialed Jack's number as she waited for him to pick up. If anyone understood what it was like to be abandoned by the Doctor it was him.

"He left," Rose breathed out before Jack had a chance to say a word, choking back a sob when she heard his familiar voice answering the phone. She knew Jack would understand what she meant by that phrase and would come help her. He had promised to stay, and she hoped, unlike the Doctor, that he would keep his promises. That, despite how terribly she had treated him, would never change.

"Sweetheart, why are you crying?" Jack gasped, scared by sorrow and sadness in Rose's voice and immediately feared the worst. He assumed that Rose meant that John had opened the watch. He couldn't imagine the Doctor having it in him to leave Rose behind. But there was only one person who could make Rose cry like that and now Jack had a new mission to go find the pretty boy and break his nose.

"He left me, Jack. The Doctor left me again. He always leaves without so much as a goodbye," Rose whispered, repeating the words over as she could practically hear Jack fuming on the other end of the line. She could hardly believe that she had to say them. In less than 24 hours she had lost everything with practically no warning. First John had sacrificed himself by opening the watch and preventing the Family of Blood from destroying the world. And she missed him so much and she knew she always would. Sure, for a few precious hours Rose had thought that the Doctor would be there for her, but even then the human quality in John was missing. The Doctor had explained that John was like another regeneration of him in a way, just suppressed. But that didn't mean that she wouldn't miss him just like she had missed her first Doctor when he had regenerated into a pretty boy. And John Smith had been hers in a way that the Doctor never could be.

"Rose, tell me exactly what happened. What did he say to you?" Jack asked, wishing that he was there with her right now. He yearned to know everything that had happened since he had been abandoned at Satellite 5 until this moment between Rose and the Time Lord. Because, if there was one thing Jack always knew, it was that the Doctor he had first met would never have done this to Rose Tyler. He had told him, just not with words. Rose was his and Jack would have been insane to go anywhere near her.

"I thought he loved me, Jack…I thought he was actually going to say it, I'm so stupid and gullible," Rose explained, admitting her insecurities. "Everything was okay for a while, but then I told him I loved him and…I thought everything was okay, even if he didn't say it back exactly…but then I left and he didn't follow me and I still thought everything was fine, but then I heard the TARDIS…he didn't even say goodbye, Jack, how could he do this to me?" Rose said without pausing to take a breath, hardly believing what had happened herself. It made it all the more real saying it out loud. It was just like something the Doctor would do.

There was silence from Jack for a long while before Rose heard him speak again. His tone made it obvious that he was murderously angry at the moment. Even though Rose knew he wasn't upset with her, his attitude still scared her a bit as she listened to the rest of his rampage. "How _dare_ he! How dare that alien just _leave_. I understand why he left me, but _you,"_ he paused then, breathing heavily. "I'll be there as soon as possible, I promise. Please just calm down, you can do this sweetheart. It'll be okay, it really will be okay, I promised to help, remember?" he urged her to believe him.

"I understand, Jack," Rose mumbled into the phone. "I guess I will let you go," Rose whispered, sniffing as she shut her phone and rubbed her eyes, wondering how she could ever possibly survive after what had just happened to her. She just needed someone to come, she couldn't stand to be alone right now. And she didn't know if she could bare her mother's pitying glances right now. Didn't her mother to know that she was right, the Doctor could never do domestic like this. That she would have been better off letting John Smith stay with her.

Deciding that she could either stay in bed all day feeling sorry for herself or go do something, Rose decided on the latter and pushed herself off of the bed. She would have very much preferred to bury herself in the covers and die, but she had the baby to think about. If there was one thing Rose was confident about it was that she would be a fantastic mother to this child, even if she had to do it alone. Her mother had done a fantastic job raising her alone and she knew she could rely on Jackie for help and guidance. After freshening up in the bathroom, Rose shuffled to the kitchen, her hunger almost unbearable now.

Getting herself a bowl of cereal, Rose sat down at the table, feeling too sick to her stomach to eat as she swirled the food around the bowl. She ended up eating nothing, her mind too active to let her eat. She was analyzing every moment with the Doctor, trying to find a sign that he was about to leave her. Sadly, everything had seemed too good to be true, so she should have known it couldn't last. She just wished she knew what she did wrong, any little thing she could have done that would have caused the Doctor to stay. She rested her head on the table, the stress of the day, although it was still only morning, rolling over her as she stared at the wood grains of the table.

…

Jerking awake, Rose was very confused about what had happened and where she was when she opened her eyes. The last thing she remembered was being in an uncomfortable position on a wood chair halfway asleep. But now she was stretched out on something very comfortable, feeling more rested than she had in days. She opened her eyes, smiling at what she saw

"This is a very realistic dream…" Rose murmured as she tried to remain in her dream, wanting to hold onto the image. In her dream, she was on the couch covered in a blanket with the Doctor watched her from the chair across from her. It would have been perfect except for the fact that the Doctor wasn't smiling or on the couch holding her.

"It isn't a dream," the Doctor spoke up, leaning on his elbows closer to her with confusion written on his face. "Why would you think that it was one?" the Doctor asked, his eyes flitting around the room before they finally landed on her, his face brightening as she rubbed her sleepy eyes and yawned. It was reassuring to see his smile reach his eyes once more. Rose cocked her head to the side, thinking that if someone was trying to convince you weren't asleep in a dream they would say just that.

A moment later it hit her, her eyes widening as she realized she actually was awake. She jumped up from the couch as she made her way towards him, slapping the Doctor hard across the face as she did so. Almost immediately after she did that, she couldn't stop herself from launching herself into his arms, crying tears of relief into his chest as he hesitantly rubbed her back, confused as to what had just happened. She hated crying, but it seemed like that was all she could do lately. He was here, properly here. Maybe he had left her, but he had come back. And she wasn't going to let him go again...

"What was that for?" the Doctor whispered when Rose calmed down. She was still clinging onto him, burying her face against him as he re-positioned her so that her knee was no longer in a certain sensitive area. With that done, he breathed a sigh of relief when Rose curled up next to him on the chair, no longer crying or hitting him.

"You left me…" she whispered, burying herself against his side. She hated how pathetic she was being, but she couldn't help it. She knew how it felt to lose him and now, after being pulled back and forth with her emotions all day, she just needed validation that he was here. "I heard the TARDIS leaving," Rose explained, upset that she wasn't mad at him for what he had done to her. It was an odd cycle, being with the Doctor. One moment she absolutely hated him and then he did something that was so distinctly _him_ that she loved him again and was upset that she wasn't still mad at him. "You _promised_ you wouldn't leave me, you were gone for over two hours," she bit off, avoiding the Doctor's eyes.

"No, I didn't leave you. I wouldn't…not now, not ever. How could you even think I would ever do that to you?" the Doctor asked, clearly shocked by what she said. After Rose continued to give him an odd look, he continued. "I just had to move the TARDIS back to the warehouse and I may have arrived a little bit later than I planned. Then I came in ans saw you asleep and decided you could do with some banana pancakes. But there weren't any bananas in the house, which is an atrocity by the way, so I went to the store to go buy some."

Rose, however, was not convinced even when she saw the bananas sitting on the counter. She narrowed her eyes warily at him, studying him to check if he was actually telling the truth. "You were planning on leaving though, weren't you? I mean, I went to the bathroom and then you were leaving. You would have told me if you were just moving the TARDIS," Rose reasoned aloud. She didn't care that he had left her if he decided to come back to her eventually. She would forgive him, understood how confusing everything was for him right now. It was hard enough for her and she hadn't been trapped in a watch for three months. "I thought everything was going so well and then all of the sudden I heard the TARDIS and I wasn't on it. I don't even know what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Rose. And I didn't even _think_ about leaving you," the Doctor assured her with a light squeeze to her hand. His face sure did appear sincere. "You know me, the quirky old alien that just loves bananas," the Doctor said, changing the subject as he stood up and led Rose to the kitchen, ordering her to sit at the table. Apparently his abrupt behavior of changing topics wasn't going to change anytime soon. It scared her that he would suddenly leave, but it was the Doctor to the core.

Watching the Doctor move around the kitchen, Rose was more relieved than she had ever been in her life. The Doctor hadn't left her at all, she had just jumped to foolish conclusions. She did believe him that he was sincere about not wanting to leave her, it was just his unreliable driving skills. Still, when she thought back to when she had thought he had left, she remembered there was still a reason to be a little miffed at him. Although she was sure he knew that she was running to the bathroom to get sick, he hadn't followed or even asked if she was okay. But, then again, was that even his role to play? Pushing that aside, Rose was shocked to see the Doctor appearing so domestic as he flipped the pancakes, rambling on about how good bananas were as he did so. She just watched him wide-eyed, thinking how he had never actually cooked for her before. Sure, she always had the TARDIS cook for her and that was partly the Doctor's doing, but he had never physically spent time cooking for her. She had, on special occasions, cooked for him. The first time she had done so was a few weeks after she first started traveling with him and he had scoffed at the domesticity, but had eagerly eaten two helpings.

"Here you go, eat up now," the Doctor announced, setting a plate of the pancakes in front of her as he sat in the chair next to her. He just sat there grinning at her, waiting for her to eat. When she finally hesitantly did, he asked her if they were good, acting like a little kid who had just made his mother burnt toast for Mother's Day.

Rose just smiled as she ate, wondering when the Doctor had learned to make pancakes in the first place. They really were good and she was ravenously hungry. Halfway through her second pancake she noticed that he wasn't eating, but was instead tracing trails into the wood table. "Why aren't you eating? I really don't think I could ever eat as many as you made…" she began, pushing her plate towards him.

"Not really hungry…I just knew you were," the Doctor explained, his voice taking on an odd quality as he did so. She could have sworn he muttered something else, but decided to let it slide just this once. After all, it was probably just something rude that she really didn't want to hear. "I mean, we can't have you not eating. Especially right now, can we?"

Rose decided to ignore his comment about her eating right now. Did that mean he was concerned about her and wanted to make sure she was healthy for the baby? Her heart didn't even want to consider that a possibility right now in case she was wrong. "You? Not hungry for bananas? That's it, you must be sick or insane," Rose joked, reaching over and putting her hand on his forehead as if checking for a fever.

"Nah, had some bananas while I was making them," the Doctor said easily. Surprisingly, he didn't even smile at her joke, just gulped loudly and turned away once more. Deciding she better not push him for his closed off behavior, Rose just ate her food and observed him out of the corner of her eye. Unlike John, the Doctor wasn't, and probably never would be, up front with his emotions, but she knew that didn't mean he didn't have them. There was something about the Doctor that was so distinctly _him_ and practically radiated power. Though he sure didn't look powerful at the moment with dark circles under his eyes, his hair messier than she had ever seen it before, and dressed more carelessly than usual without his jacket or tie. Seeing him like this just made her want to take care of him, she reckoned there hadn't been enough people making sure he was okay throughout his long life.

"Seriously though, are you okay?" Rose asked once more. She knew how much the Doctor hated it when she acted like this around him, all motherly and domestic. His response was always that he was not as susceptible to weakness like humans and that she was just wasting her time worrying about him. Rose never really believed him though, especially after she saw him with a cold. He spent a full week sniffing about the TARDIS like a baby, explaining that it was not the same as human colds, far superior of course. Though he sure hadn't minded her concern when she brought him chicken noodle soup.

As soon as Rose had eaten all she could, she started to stand up, not sure what she would be doing the rest of the day. The Doctor stood up as well, bending over so that she was looking into his eyes as he kissed her full on the lips.

"Hello," Rose whispered, confused as to the Doctor's new and different behaviors. She wasn't sure how she felt about it all. He acted closed off one moment and the next he was kissing her. Talking, she decided, talking was first on the list for today. Everything was so confusing between them, they both that do explain how they were feeling and be honest.

However, before she could say that, Rose was surprised when the Doctor wrapped his arms around her, pulling her with him over to the comfy chair as he sat in it and settled her down on his lap, not saying a word as he adjusted her against his chest and rested his chin on top of her head. It felt to good to be true, to have the Doctor being so affectionate with her after spending time this morning sure he had left her.

"Why are you acting like this?" Rose mumbled, not complaining about his actions one bit, just curious. She hoped to start on an innocent question like that and not cause one of his infamous rambles as well. Maybe if she spoke carefully she could get an honest answer out of him.

"Whatever do you mean?" the Doctor innocently asked, smirking as he kissed the top of her head, breathing in her precious scent.

Yep, she was right, he was trying to distract her and was doing a mighty good job at it as well. "You know what I mean, Doctor. I mean, you would have never acted like this before, why now then?" Rose questioned, hoping that the Doctor would stay serious and not change the topic to something silly as he usually did. That was his defense mechanism and she had learned about it long ago so there was no way she was going to pretend like she didn't know what he was doing.

The Doctor was silent for a long while before he responded, weaving their fingers together as he thought of what to say. "Why do you need an answer right now? Why can't you just accept what it is?" he asked confidently, sounding sincere and reasonable despite her rational mind reminding her that she had to figure something out.

She sure wanted to take his advice, just let whatever this was happen. They could just pretend it had always been like this, not acknowledge the change. But, Rose decided, she had learned from John that ignoring problems wouldn't make them disappear, it would only make them worse in the long run."But what is it? That is what I'm trying to do, trying to figure out what I need to accept now. Because I can…if you tell me. You can't just ignore it and think it is just going to go away, Doctor," she brought up, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.

"Are you talking about this, Rose?" the Doctor said, his voice very confident as he spoke, something that surprised Rose. He leaned down and kissed her quickly, emphasizing what _this_ he was talking about. She hadn't expected him to bring it up first. Actually, she expected him to completely ignore everything that had happened like he usually did.

"Yes…obviously, what else would I be talking about?" Rose mumbled, trying not to get distracted by the way his lips were trailing up and down her neck in a manner that Rose knew was just meant to distract her.

After realizing that Rose was not going to accept him _not_ answering, the Doctor sighed and leaned back against the chair. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I want to be with you and not question it?" he huffed.

"But that changes everything. It is against everything you have ever said. Are you just doing this because you feel bad?" Rose asked, needing to know. What had changed to make him cross the strict physical boundaries he had drawn for them? He had always gone on about the curse of the Time Lords, using it as an excuse for not loving her. "About John and the baby?" Rose whispered, knowing that mentioning the baby was a mistake the moment it slipped out of her mouth as the Doctor tensed against her, every trace of love that had been emanating off of him suddenly coming to a dead halt. They both remained in the same position for several minutes, as if they were afraid what would happened if they moved an inch. Eventually the Doctor shifted first, their bodies just a little bit further apart.

"Do you love me because of John, Rose?" he questioned, finally hitting the nail on the head. "Because I refuse to be a stand in for him," he paused then, gulping loudly as silence filled the room. "Don't you know that would hurt me? How do you think I truly feel about all of this?" the Doctor asked, his eyes burning with intensity as he leaned his forehead against hers and gazed deeply into her eyes, his hand softly stroking her hair as he waited for her to speak again. "This isn't easy for me either. It _hurt_ me, Rose. It still does because I won't be John's replacement," the Doctor admitted slowly. "Please, if that is all this is just tell me now."

Before Rose had a chance to respond, they both jumped at the sound of a door slamming, hearing the sound of Captain Jack's angry voice as he made his way to the room where they were in. Rose winced, knowing that whatever would happen next wasn't going to be pretty. Maybe she shouldn't have called Jack when she was still so upset and had jumped to untrue conclusions. With everything that had happened since then she had sort of forgotten that she had even called Jack and told him to come over. She should have called him to explain her hunch was wrong or at least warned the Doctor.

"You? How dare you have the nerve to sit there like that," Jack hissed, letting his fury at the Doctor for leaving him on Satellite 9 come to the surface. "You bastard, you hurt Rose again and then you left her like you left me! What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack shouted, wishing that he could punch the Doctor like he wanted to, but the fact that Rose was currently perched on his lap acting like she forgave him stopped that plan.

"Jack, it's okay, he was just moving the TARDIS. I jumped to conclusions, don't get mad at him now," Rose explained, surprised when Jack dropped the glare and practically gaped at how comfortable the Doctor seemed with Rose snuggled up against him.

"Fine, but you still left her when you turned yourself human," Jack muttered, dropping the subject in exchange for one much more important. He decided this was the best time to do this, so sat in front of the pair. He swore those two just had to make everything more complicated than it needed to be. Plus, he was still a bit mistrustful of this new Doctor. The new Doctor was a pretty boy this time around though. "Since I am using my lunch break for this, we need to get some stuff out in the open. Now, what about the _baby_?" he asked, enunciating the word to ensure he had their full attention.

"Shut up," Rose whispered, trying to not notice how the Doctor had tensed next to her. They were both avoiding bringing it up. "e don't need to talk about this right now…and it isn't like you have any right to have a say in any of this anyway," Rose murmured, her eyes warning Jack to shut his big mouth. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about this at all. She just wanted to do it in private without the American making snide remarks about her sex life. It would be difficult enough as it was to get the Doctor to talk about it and she was sure he would open up more to her in private opposed to in front of Jack. She already knew that the Doctor was closing up about this by the way his body had tensed and his arms around her had tightened so much.

"Rose, are you going to pretend like this isn't happening until you are in labor?" Jack asked, not beating around the bush in the slightest. "You can't tiptoe around the issue just because you don't want to know what the Doctor will say…so, I will ask outright for you," he stopped then, watching Rose's face for a sign that she already knew the answer. When her eyes just widened in fear he knew he would have to say it, Rose was too scared she would lose the Doctor if she asked. "Doctor, what are you planning to do about the baby?" he asked, continuing when the Doctor just avoided his gaze. "In addition to that, are you going to be the child's father? Do you even consider the baby yours or is it John Smith's problem?" Jack asked, annoyed that the Doctor wore a perfect mask so he couldn't even tell what kind of affect his questions were having on him.

At Jack's calculated words, the Doctor stood up to make Jack shut up, as he was definitely upsetting Rose right now. He pushed Rose over to the side, deciding that this man, who was even hard to look at, couldn't say that to him and expect no reverberations for his actions. This did not involve Jack, it was personal. Plus, he didn't have an answer to the questions either.

However, before the Doctor had time to open his mouth, Jack pounced on him. He pushed him to the wall, punching his jaw hard as he kept a hold of the Doctor's shirt and held his fist a few inches from his face, warning him that he was prepared to punch him again if he didn't answer

"Jack! Stop it, you are going to hurt him!" Rose shouted as she scrambled to try to pull Jack off of the Doctor. This, she decided, was the last thing that she needed to happen at the moment. She was stressed out enough with the Doctor being all confusing and now Jack had to go and attack him.

"Are you sure, Rosie?" Jack asked with a low chuckle. He knew that she would never say yes, but he couldn't help but tease her a bit. "Don't you think his face would look a bit better if I pushed his nose a bit to the left?"

Rose didn't need to even say a word to get her point across as cleared her throat. Putting her hands on her hips, Rose glared down at Jack, much more intimidating than a small blonde had the right to be. "Can't we at least pretend to act like adults in this situation right now?" she asked confidently, hoping that she had control of the situation now.

Thankfully, Jack let go of the Doctor and the two men stood awkwardly for a few moments before Rose sighed and pulled them both behind her into the small kitchen. Once they were all seated around, Rose sat with her hands folded in front of her, just daring someone to speak up first. It was almost funny, how much control she had over the two men. With a rising of one eyebrow, Rose settled back in her chair, prepared to watch the debate between the two of them.

"How did you even find out about Rose's…pregnancy?" the Doctor asked, hesitating before the last word. He couldn't remember Rose telling Jack in his memories of being John Smith and he was curious. In fact, to his knowledge, Jack had only seen Rose one time during those three months. The Doctor smirked a bit, wondering how the humans in the room would respond if he told them that he would have known that Rose was pregnant before she even suspected it had he been himself. It was all in her smell, when a certain hormone for pregnancy was activated he would be able to tell if he was within a few feet of her. It certainly had made for more than a few awkward moments in his past, as quite a few times he had congratulated a couple on their pregnancy only to realize that they had no idea yet.

"Oh, I bought the test with her," Jack explained, eyeing the Doctor for his reaction. He couldn't stop the smirk from spreading across his own face when he saw the Doctor's shocked look. It was nice to know more than the Time Lord for once and he couldn't help but gloat a bit.

"Moving on," Rose announced quickly, telling from his expression that the Doctor was upset Jack was the one to share that moment with her. And this wasn't really something she wanted to be talking about right now either. She really didn't want the Doctor to be even more upset that she had trusted Jack with such important matters. But what else was she expected to do at the time, he wasn't there.

"Am I going to be 'Uncle Jack?'" Jack asked suddenly as he drastically changed the topic to a lighter matter. His face looked so excited that Rose couldn't help but dissolve into giggles. She hadn't even begun to think that far ahead yet, actually imagining the child talking and walking. It was odd to think about, not just being pregnant, but having an actual little human being. She couldn't help but fantasize about it for a long moment, not only Jack holding a tiny baby girl, but the Doctor as well.

"Better than what I thought you would be saying, Jack," the Doctor said in response, leaning back in his chair. His voice was teasing, but Rose noticed that his fists were clenched on top of the table. "I imagined you would find it fun to try to seduce the poor child."

Rose interrupted then, shaking her head. "Gah, please don't even mention that," Rose retorted. "And Jack," she added, hoping he would take heed of her words. "I'm really not comfortable with you talking about this right now so if you could drop it we can just catch up, yeah?"

Jack completely dropped the subject of Rose's pregnancy after that, much to her relief. Rose relaxed into the situation a bit more as she talked about different topics with Jack and the Doctor. It was nice, she decided, to have the old team back. She briefly thought of Mickey, wondering if he was doing well in the other Universe and how he'd be coping with this situation. But to have no secrets for once, to not worry about saying something wrong and ruining everything, it was so freeing. Too many times Rose had begun to tell John a story about one of their adventures on the TARDIS only to remember that it would only scare him. He knew the Doctor, but only in his dreams.

"Wait a second, there is something else important you two need to know," Jack said after several hours of visiting. He had been so intent on getting here to Rose that it had slipped his mind why he had been delayed. "There were police at your flat. You really should go down there and get everything sorted out," he explained, knowing that the Doctor usually let other people clean up his messes. However he figured Rose would find it important to clean this one up herself. "Plus, I have some important business I really am putting off…and if I don't get back there soon who knows what I will find," he admitted, knowing this was something that Rose and the Doctor had to do alone.

Rose was surprised as Jack's sudden statement, but agreed with him. "Sure, we will go down there now," she responded without consulting the Doctor. There was no way she was going to taint whatever mark John had left on the world. She turned to Jack then. "Are you going now too?"

"I need to use your computer for a moment. You should go now, I can let myself out," Jack said, waving as the Doctor and Rose left for the place where Rose had been married to John Smith. _That_ , Jack thought was a smile, was going to be _interesting_.

 **Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the changes in this chapter.**

 **Let me know what you think. Is the Doctor telling the truth or did he really leave? Opinions?**

 **Review to get my love,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **SPOILERS:**

 **"Yes, that was his name," Jackie sighed, twirling her hair with her finger. "He was so charming. Captain Jack Harkness. And easy on the eyes as well."**


	16. About the Baby

**Hey guys! As you can tell from the title, some questions will be answered!**

 **Read on and don't be too mad at me...**

About the Baby

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" the familiar doorman called out when he saw them appear in front of their building. It had been an awkward cab ride back to the flat with the Doctor refusing to even look at her. Apparently he wasn't going to take this whole John Smith thing in slide like she had been hoping. "I was beginning to wonder if you both were well. We've tried calling any contact we have for you and never got through," the doorman continued as he shot them a relieved smile. "The police apparently need to talk to you."

Rose rolled her eyes, she was never too fond of the police. She just knew that both she and the Doctor would probably be busy with interviews and paperwork for the rest of the day while the police began an investigation that would get them nowhere if he was human. That was why she loved the TARDIS, they could just fly off and leave the silly clean up that never succeeded in its job. Because there was never anything to find, the Doctor had made sure that there was no evidence to connect anyone to the mysterious happenings of that night. The police only had the words from the party-goers, which could easily be written off as they were almost all drinking. Best case scenario was that they would convince everyone a dramatic hoax had been put together for their amusement at the dull party. Rose was sure that would be enough to calm down their thick heads. Thankfully, the Doctor had his physic paper for situations like this.

"I'm sorry, it seems there was a misunderstanding," the Doctor said swiftly, perfectly poised as he approached the policeman. Whipping out his physic paper, the Doctor gave Rose a small wink as the man read the message the Doctor wanted him to see.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize you were an acquaintance of the Queen," the policeman said, tipping his hat to the Doctor. "Have a nice day. If you ever need any help again don't hesitate to contact me, Dame Rose," he acknowledged Rose with a tight lipped smile.

Once the policeman had left the room, Rose turned to look at the Doctor, wanting an explanation. "What did the physic paper say?" Rose asked, adding on another statement for the Doctor's benefit. "And have I mentioned how much I love it when you get people to call me Dame Rose?"

"That Paul Samson was behind it all," the Doctor stated with a sheepish expression on his face. "He had been harassing you for quite a while. The note was from the Queen, explaining that the investigation is over and that the case is to be considered closed immediately," the Doctor continued, flashing a smile at Rose as he did so. Rose never understood why his drastic scenarios from the psychic paper, but she wasn't going to complain. "And yes, you have. On multiple occasions, actually. I might have to use this knowledge for another benefit later," the Doctor leaned in and whispered into Rose's ear as her face burned at what he had insinuated.

Rose just scrunched her nose up at him, glad that they had the use of the physic paper again. It was so useful and without it they would be in jail much more often. Not that they hadn't spent countless hours sitting on a cold cell floor. Sure they had been in some luxurious jail cells, but getting captured was Rose's least favorite part of traveling with the Doctor "Should we go back now that it is all fixed up? Maybe we can catch Jack again, actually see what he is up to on the computer!" Rose joked, relieved that coming back hadn't been as awkward as she had expected.

"Don't you want to clean out the apartment? I mean, obviously no one will be living there anymore," the Doctor suggested, continuing because he didn't see Rose's shocked expression. "I'd rather get it done sooner instead of later, wouldn't you?" he asked when she didn't respond.

"Actually, I expected to do it alone," Rose whispered as the Doctor grabbed her hand and led her to the elevator. It was odd, being here with the Doctor when she had been her so often with John. She wasn't sure if she was okay with it, it just confused her even more. Practically every memory of John Smith had revolved around their home and she could keep it distinctly separate from the Doctor. And now here the Time Lord was, about to prance up to the flat and make himself at home. She wanted to stop and tell him that he wasn't allowed to go in, but she wasn't sure she had a right to. After all, it wasn't like the Doctor didn't remember what the flat was like. "Is that okay?" Rose asked as he pulled her towards the familiar door, hoping that the Doctor would not disagree.

"No," the Doctor said, his tone saying that it was the end of the discussion. Even Rose didn't dare argue with him as he sat his jaw. "I don't want you to be alone when you do this," the Doctor explained in a softer tone, planting a light kiss on her cheek as she reluctantly unlocked the door. When the Doctor said that she knew she couldn't say no. He was trying to be open with her and not pull away like he usually did, she couldn't be the one to push him farther away now.

"Thank you," Rose simply replied with sincerity as she hesitantly stepped inside, looking around surprised to see how absolutely nothing had changed. She wasn't going to admit it to him, but he had been right and she felt like she almost needed him here right now. Despite her earlier thoughts that she wanted to do it alone, she knew how much easier it would be with him next to her. It wasn't that she was weak, she just needed to wrap her head around her feelings for both men.

Both of them standing awkwardly in the entryway, the Doctor spoke up. "So I guess we should pack everything you want to keep," he suggested in a tense voice. Apparently this was as hard for him as it was for her. "Let's get this going," the Doctor began again, walking towards the kitchen with Rose on his heels.

It didn't take long for them to fall into a routine of going through the possessions, deciding to leave most of them behind. The hours flew by as they quickly got through the task and talked about light topics, both trying to pretend that they weren't so excited to just be alone together even though it was an awkward situation. It was nice, Rose finally decided, to listen to him ramble about things she didn't understand again. Not just that, it was the fact that he was helping her with such a domestic task. And he was the one who always scorned at the faintest mention of domesticity. Since he was moving out of an apartment with her, Rose began to wonder just how domestic he would go for her. Little did Rose know that the Doctor was thinking precisely the same thing, allowing his mind to dwell on things he hadn't thought about for centuries.

After several hours, the Doctor brought up an interesting question about a more serious topic than the time the Doctor met Jane Austen. "Sweetheart, have you talked to your mother since this morning?" he asked, drastically changing the topic.

"What is that?" Rose asked, trying to keep her mouth from falling open. "Was that a pet name?" Rose giggled, amused at the Doctor's sweet action towards her. She was surprised he had brought up her mother at all as they didn't get along well together, especially since the whole fiasco yesterday. Nevertheless, that surprise was nothing compared to the shock that filled her when she realized that the Doctor had called her sweetheart. Never in all the time traveling together had the Doctor said anything like that to her, well if you didn't count the times they had to pretend to be married to save their lives. That was much more important to Rose at the moment than any mention of her mother.

"Rose, just answer my question about Jackie," the Doctor said before he flirtatiously added a few more words with a cheeky tone. "It'll be ever so helpful, my sweet darling."

"I haven't talked to her, _honey,_ " Rose added on the last word just to see the Doctor grin at her. However, she supposed he wanted her to answer his question, so she continued. "But she'll probably be getting back to the flat soon. I'm surprised she hasn't called me yet actually," Rose said as she noticed the odd way that the Doctor seemed to relax when he heard that her mother would not be coming anytime soon.

After that conversation the Doctor went to go deal with the paperwork in John's office as Rose went through her clothes. If Rose closed her eyes, she could almost pretend it was actually John going back to his office to finish the paperwork that he hated. With a sigh, Rose snapped open her eyes, knowing there was no use pretending. John was gone, but she had the Doctor now.

…

"So, this here is the bedroom," the Doctor awkwardly stated, actually knocking on the side of the door before he came in. He had just finished up with everything else and had found Rose in there practically up to her neck in clothes. It was amusing to see her like that though, trying to decide what she should keep and what would just be a painful reminder of John Smith.

"Yep," Rose replied, confused as to why the Doctor was acting so odd all of the sudden when he had been so normal around her not long ago. She was excited to almost be done at the moment and she assumed he would be too. They were almost done and the flat almost looked as it had three months ago when she had to get it ready on her own. After this a huge weight would life off of her shoulders and she could heal even more about John Smith. However, from the look on the Doctor's face that he was doing a bad job at hiding, Rose knew she had to ask him about it. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that this was where you and John lived…" the Doctor said, clearly referring to the fact that he was currently standing in the bedroom, the room he had been actively been avoiding all day. "This is where you made love, where he told you he loved you and you told him," the Doctor admitted with a surprising burst of honest emotion, still refusing to meet her eyes. Rose stopped her movements, dropping the dress she was planning on putting in the keep pile in front of her. She eventually regained control of her limbs and moved towards the Doctor, shocked that he was still glaring at the floor, jealousy practically coming off of him in waves.

Rose didn't know what to say in response, she was so shocked. It was an odd situation, there the Doctor was, jealous of…himself in a way if you twisted it a bit. So she just walked up to him and pulled on his tie, relieved when he didn't fight back, and latched her lips onto his to show him why he shouldn't be jealous. Maybe words would be more appropriate at the moment, but Rose didn't know how to respond to this except with physical actions. Because she knew that even though she had loved every moment she was with John, she would _always_ be in love with the Doctor. He was everything to her. Because she knew him and she always would. He was like fire and ice and rage, like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. Ancient and forever, he burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe. He had once told her he could feel the Earth spinning and when she was near him she swore she could feel the movement as well. Pressing closer to him, Rose sighed in relief as his hesitation to her action slowly but surely flowed away.

"We can make our own memories here, you and I," Rose whispered a few minutes later, her eyes filling with tears at the most pained expression she had ever seen on his face crossed the Doctor's face before he simply nodded in response. At his nod, he unlatched her arms from him, stepping backwards away from her. And he looked so sad when he looked at her, like it hurt him to see her.

"Rose, you don't have to act like that, please don't," the Doctor muttered as he walked towards the door. He shook his head as she moved towards him again, telling her not to touch him. "Please don't pretend for me."

"Please, don't leave. Don't leave me again," Rose whispered, dropping the hand that he had failed to take. She looked down at the floor, cursing the tears that were suddenly filling her eyes at his rejection. "I need _you_ , Doctor, not John," she admitted, her words referring to much more than physical.

It seemed as though those were the magic words, as the moment she said them the Doctor turned around and walked back up to her. Reaching down and grabbing one of her hands, he used his free hand to reach for her chin, lightly forcing her to look up and meet his eyes. "Never, I never want to leave you again," he admitted in a low voice. He took a step back a moment later, keeping his gaze trained on hers.

Rose breathed a sigh, she wasn't sure if it was frustration or relief, now that it appeared the Doctor was going to stop running from her. However, Rose was surprised that instead of leaving the room as she had assumed he would, he quickly shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the ground, his tie quickly joining it on the floor. Right as she was opening her mouth to ask him what he was doing, the Doctor leaning down kissed her slowly, his motions slow and passionate. Still, she could feel her resistance weakening as he gently pulled her back towards the bed, smiling against his gentle lips as she scooted herself backwards on the bed and he crawled over her. Apparently he had taken her words about making their own memories to his hearts.

…

Rose stared up at the ceiling in shock, terribly confused as what had just happened when she realized how hot she was feeling with the Doctor's full weight on top of her that was making it difficult to breathe, especially with the added annoyance of the way his hair tickled under her chin every time he took a breath. Thankfully, just then the Doctor moved his body off of hers as if he sensed her discomfort, removing his face from where he had rested it for the past few minutes and setting his head on the pillow right next to her, his breath heavy against her ear, so husky and intimate that Rose couldn't help but blush. With a light kiss to her cheek, the Doctor wound one arm around her waist to bring her body even closer to his. Honestly, Rose was terribly confused as to what had just happened between them, something that she had often dreamed about but never thought would actually happen while she was wide awake. Without any explanations or questions, she and the Doctor had made love and, knowing him, she didn't even know if he was planning on talking about it or acting as if it had never happened. But, considering the surprising way her was acting now, she couldn't help but hope that things would continue like this between them.

"Doctor," Rose whispered out his name, needing to make sure that this was really happening and that the Doctor, really and truly the Doctor, was lying next to her. It was an odd sense of deja vu, to be lying here with the Doctor instead of John.

The Doctor immediately let out a strange noise when she uttered his name out loud that she couldn't decide if it was a purr, a growl, a moan, or something altogether different. His face nestled into her neck as he trailed light kisses up and down her neck, as if she had just told him the most beautiful thing he had ever heard in his life. Rose quickly lost her train of thought as the Doctor's tongue did something amazing to her neck, causing her to gasp in surprise as he kissed her and she pressed her own swollen lips against his once more. The Doctor lightly kissed her, kissing her so much gentler than she had ever been kissed by anyone before, even John. Rose relished in the perfect kiss with the Doctor, his lips telling her how much he loved her in a way so much more precious than words. As if that wasn't enough, the Doctor stopped every few minutes, to gaze down at her, the look in his eyes causing her eyes to fill with tears at the intensity of the way he was looking at her. This was something Rose was sure she could get used to. In fact, she was sure that she was going to make it such a common occurrence that she would get very used to it. But she was already confident that no matter how often it occurred she would never get used to it. Rose felt like she could stay like this forever, the light slightly streaming into the bedroom as she felt the beat of the Doctor's two hearts against her chest, their legs intimately tangled up together, both just relishing in the closeness of one another.

"Why are you crying?" the Doctor mumbled, his own voice husky as his fingers reached up to wipe away the tears on her cheeks, his concern obvious in his words and gestures. Rose had seemed perfectly fine just seconds ago and then she had started crying out of nowhere. If these were hormones, he was terrified to know what else he was going to have to deal with.

"I'm just so happy," Rose whispered, laughing at how cheesy that sounded, but ended up making an unattractive noise as a sob reached her throat at the same time.

"Oh, don't cry, love. Please don't cry, I hate seeing you cry. I'm right here now, don't cry," the Doctor exclaimed, his hands tracing down her face as she made the pathetic sound again and buried her face against his neck. The one thing the Doctor could never stand was when Rose was crying.

Rose cried against him anyway, wishing he would understand that she was really only crying because she was so happy to be here with him right now. She never thought this would happen. "Stop apologizing, it's good that I'm crying," Rose whispered once her tears had stopped.

"Blimey, sure doesn't feel good on my side," the Doctor retorted, his tone of voice signaling that he wasn't actually hurt by this. "It certainly isn't good for my ego," the Doctor joked, understanding why Rose was crying as he scooped her tighter against himself. Despite the situation, the Doctor started to laugh, pretending he wasn't by faking a coughing fit. He assumed that his acting wasn't up to par by the expression on Rose's face when he quieted down with an innocent look on his face.

At that, Rose began to laugh as well, happier than she had been in a while, relaxing as she and the Doctor talked, just enjoying each other's arms for what felt like hours. It was surprising, how easy it was to be with him like this. She hadn't expected him to open up to her like this ever, especially after the past three months. Even though he would never be completely open, but that was to be expected with the Doctor, Rose could tell how hard he was trying for her. She felt so…complete in a way that she never had before.

"Rose, what do you want me to do with the baby?" the Doctor whispered, practically causing Rose to jump up in shock. She hadn't expected him to say anything like that and she was immediately roused from her relaxed state right before sleep. She hadn't mentioned it and never expected him to be the one to speak of it first.

"What do you mean?" Rose gulped, swallowing the lump in her throat as she felt the Doctor's hand willingly slide down to rest over her flat stomach. Just that simple act made Rose's love for him double, the fact that he had done it with no prodding, almost as if it was instinctive.

"You know what I mean," the Doctor murmured into her ear, his tone declaring that Rose needed to say something that he couldn't say for her. He couldn't be the one to say it first, not after everything that had happened between them.

"I mean…you know what I want, you've always known that," Rose groaned, pulling away from him and sitting up in the bed farther away from him, tightening the sheets around her chest. She knew that he knew, she had basically told John everything she wanted and he remembered everything that had happened then. She knew she was acting immature in a way, pulling away from him like this. He had been trying, he really had, and now she was just distancing them again. It was hard for him and talk about feelings, he hadn't had much practice.

Rose watched as the Doctor looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on him and he sat still as a statue, trying to think of what to say. He looked at Rose sitting just out of reach, wondering if he should explain everything before he delivered the blow, but pushed the wise thoughts to the back of his mind. "Rose, I don't know how I can bear to be a father again," he said slowly, cautiously as he watched her facial expression change.

"What makes this different?" Rose sniffed, looking up at his hardening face. He had only once offhandedly mentioned the family he had last with the Time War and she was wise enough to never bring it up with him. She had assumed he would be there, not deny it immediately. "Why can you have a family with them but not with me? I know you lost them but you can have everything with me. Why won't you take it?" she asked, feeling properly offended now. "Is it just because I'm a lowly ape?" she finished, practically bristling. She despised it how the Doctor had once compared her to a monkey.

"Rose, I lost all of my family," he explained, the reluctance to speak of this evident in his voice. "I killed every single one of them, Rose. I never got to explain or to say goodbye to them," the Doctor said, sounding strangled. It was difficult to think of his life so long ago. So much had changed since then. It was still hard to know all that he had lost and it hurt him to explain it, even to Rose.

"But this baby will be a new family," Rose explained, she should have known this would come up. She just hoped she could find the right words to help him, to convince him that it was okay for him to want this. "You won't be alone anymore," she added, knowing how lonely he felt at times. She hoped that she helped with that, gave him a hand to hold as he ran through space and time. "I can give you that, Doctor," she said, practically offering him her heart on her sleeve.

The Doctor was silent for a long while before he thought of a reply to give her. As much as he wanted another chance to have a family – a family he wouldn't see burning in an inferno that he had set off – it terrified him. What if something happened? Would he be able to keep going if he lost this second chance? "Every time I see our child's face I will see _them_ , Rose. I will see them, calling out to me, alone and afraid as they died. As I killed them."

"I'm sorry," Rose whispered, knowing there was no right words to say in this situation. She knew there was no way she could truly understand the pain that he felt, but she could be his voice of reason. "But you _can_ start over now. You can't save _them_ , but you can be the best father to our baby. And I'll be there to help you," Rose offered again, wishing she could reach out and touch him. "Please, Doctor, don't do this to me now, I can't deal with this constant back and forth," she admitted, wishing she would stay strong and not cry, but the immensity of this conversation was too much.

"Rose…" the Doctor muttered as he stifled the urge to cover his face with his pillow. "I wish it were that easy, you have no idea how much I _want_ this with you. I wish I could do everything with you, but it isn't that simple."

"Why can't we then, Doctor?" Rose asked as she sniffed and looked at him. "Please don't shut me out now. I love you and I want to raise this baby with you. You've known that this is how I feel, so don't you dare twist my words," she threatened, realizing that there was a high likelihood the Doctor would never accept this child as his own. While it technically wasn't, he had said that John was a part of him, so wasn't the baby a part of him by default?

"I never said no, Rose. We just can't play pretend forever and keep brushing issues under the table," the Doctor whispered, knowing he was hurting Rose but also knowing he had to say them. It had been brewing under the surface for so long and neither of them had mentioned it yet. "But the baby isn't genetically mine, Rose. That complicates everything."

"I know, but I thought maybe you'd care enough about me and love the baby anyway. How dare you act like this and then say something as horrible as that?" Rose gasped out, her hands staying protectively over her stomach as she gazed at him. From the moment she knew she was pregnant she had considered it the Doctor's. "Doctor, please tell me you would only be here if it was yours. This is as close as we can get, you said we aren't compatible that way...it was still your body," she argued hopelessly.

"John Smith was human. The baby will be completely human, and I'm an alien," the Doctor explained, feeling terrible when he saw Rose begin to cry. He winced when he saw Rose curl in on herself, keeping her hands over her stomach as if he would ever even think about doing anything to hurt her or the baby. The Doctor softened at that thought, knowing now it was a mistake that he had said anything at all. "I've said before that I have to live on alone. Rose, we physically can _never_ have a child and that kills me that I can't give you that. But _John_ could and just because he is the child's biological father doesn't mean I can't be its—"

However, Rose quickly swallowed back her tears so that the conversation could continue, effectively cutting him off before he could finish his sentence. "But, I thought things were different now. You are acting different than before. So, is your plan just to continue shagging me until I have the baby and then when the baby is born act like you have nothing to do with it and leave me again? Or would you expect me to dump the baby with my mother and keep on traveling the stars with you?"

"Rose, you know that isn't what this is. You know you and I would never..." he trailed off, not entirely sure if she was wrong, he had done such terrible things in the past. "Please tell me you don't believe that because that is the farthest thing from what this is," the Doctor whispered, finally settling down next to Rose on the bed. "Weren't you listening to what I was saying?"

"But…basically that is what this is, isn't it?" Rose asked, continuing talking before the Doctor could respond. "I'm not going to do that, Doctor. I'm this child's mother and I will be there for my baby no matter what."

"How could you say that Rose? Can't you tell how I feel about all of this? About you?" the Doctor gasped as he pulled her tightly against his chest. "About _both_ of you."

Rose pushed him away and huddled up in a ball, moving farther away from him. She was confused, he seemed to be going back and forth. One moment he was bringing up the fact that he wasn't the child's biological father and the next he was telling her how much he cared for both of them. Which was the truth? "I can't do this, Doctor…I just can't have you say that this baby isn't yours. I just can't," she finally realized out loud.

At her words, Rose stood, pulling the sheets with her, and locked herself in the closet, surprised that the Doctor did not demand that she come out or simply open the door with his sonic screwdriver. After she had calmed herself down a bit, Rose began to pack up her clothes to take back home, eventually finishing up with her task and stepping back out into the bedroom.

"Would you like me to go now?" the Doctor asked immediately, not pushing her to restart their discussion. Surprisingly, he was sitting on the floor right outside the closet, appearing as if everything was perfectly normal as usual. His face was a perfect mask void of emotions as he looked at her.

Rose blinked in surprise for a moment when she looked at him. She could see every second of his 900 years in his eyes. "Take me to Jackie's first," Rose ordered, hardly believing that the Doctor would most likely leave her forever.

…

Almost as soon as they arrived at Jackie's flat, Jackie Tyler herself ran up to them with a strange expression on her face. "Rose! There was a strange man in the apartment when I popped in!"

"Jack?" the Doctor asked in an emotionless voice. Rose had been on the verge of crying since she had told him to take her here and had already run to the bathroom and locked the door behind her the moment they entered the flat. The Doctor wanted to chase after Rose, wanted to see if there were some way he could untangle the knotted mess they were in, but Jackie seemed intent on talking about Jack. She probably just assumed that Rose was feeling the effects of morning sickness, not crying and upset again.

"Yes, that was his name," Jackie sighed, twirling her hair with her finger. "He was so charming. Captain Jack Harkness. And easy on the eyes as well."

"Your point?" the Doctor probed, rubbing the back of his neck. He couldn't believe that Jackie hadn't even realized how upset Rose was yet. Or maybe she had and this was a part of an elaborate scheme that Jack had told her about. Yep, the second idea definitely was the right one.

Jackie stood for a moment, as if she was just realizing Rose's absence before she responded. "He just explained who he was and how he knew both of you. He made me swear that I wouldn't let you leave Rose. Now, I won't be happy about having you here, but I have to do it for my daughter," Jackie explained before she added on the least surprising part of Jack's message. "And he also said that he had to go on a mission and wouldn't be able to contact you for about a month."

"Well, I think you will have to convince Rose of that," the Doctor muttered, glancing at the blondes. Rose had just left the bathroom and was standing behind her mother, her hands on her hips as she glared at the Doctor.

"Taking in the looks of both of you, I assume that whatever happened didn't go well, right?" Jackie mumbled, stating the obvious as she looked between the both of them. It was her job now to protect her daughter. And, as much as she didn't want to admit it, Rose needed the alien and she was going to make sure they both got a little sense into their thick heads.

"Wonderful deduction there, Sherlock," Rose sighed heavily. She was sure her mum would take her side on this and make the Doctor leave. After all, Rose was her only daughter.

Jackie saw the way the Doctor was staring at Rose as if she were the only branch he could cling to and decided to try out Jack's plan. Jack had been rather…persuasive about it all. "Well, here is what I say. Doctor, you stay here. And that means no impromptu trips with your TARDIS either!" Jackie demanded, the look on her face showing both of them there was no room for disagreeing with her. "Rose, if you want him to leave, you be the one to tell him. And shouting it in the heat of an argument does not count. You have to be in her right mind when you say it, really want him gone and not regret it later," she continued when Rose begrudgingly nodded. "Can both of you deal with that?" Jackie asked, hoping that they would both agree to this and realize that they both loved each other.

"Fine," the Doctor mumbled, wondering what he was going to do with himself while he hung around London for who knows how long. It didn't appear as if Rose would allow him around her and without his TARDIS he figured he would cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.

"All right," Rose said slowly, "I agree as well, but I _am_ going to work at the café a few days a week," Rose began to say, only to have the Doctor interrupt her with a loud clearing of his throat and a sharp glare. "I need a job, Doctor. You know, to support myself and the baby."

The Doctor didn't respond with words, just nodded with a strange expression on his face. He glanced up at Rose as if to tell her something, but instead announced he was going out, leaving the flat, but assuring he was coming back soon.

"Mum, why are you doing this?" Rose asked, annoyed that her mother was making the Doctor stay here.

"All you have to do is tell him, Rose. If you do, he will be gone…it's up to you now," Jackie explained, kissing her daughter on the forehead as she wondered how long she would have to deal with the grumbling Doctor before they worked it out. Because Jackie knew they would, they just had to. She suspected that Jack was right and that neither Rose nor the Doctor would survive long if they didn't.

 **AND?! What do you think will happen next? Who is justified? Who is overreacting?**

 **Sorry for the drama...but everyone is confused and hormones and such.**

 **Just please comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter and all that has happened!**

 **Thanks,**

 **Gabrielle**

 **SPOILERS:**

 **"Come on, Rose, I know you're hungry," the Doctor murmured, obviously knowing he was losing the uphill battle when Rose just glared at him in response. "Do it for the baby," he added on so low Jackie could barely hear.**


	17. The Appointment

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, but finals are a thing. On a plus I only have one year of college left so hoorah!**

 **Enjoy...**

The Appointment

Two weeks later not much had changed, well between the Doctor and Rose anyway. In fact, it was much worse than before from an outsiders perspective. For the first few days, the Doctor had kept after Rose almost relentlessly, practically locking her into her room as he talked to her – or rather at her – but Rose was so stubborn she never said much more than a few words to him. Never before had she been so reluctant to listen to him or forgive him. Even after the whole debacle with Reinette it had only taken her a few days to forgive the Doctor once he explained everything to her .

However, Jackie knew that this was hurting Rose a lot more than she would ever admit. She had been barely eating, claiming that the thought of eating turned her stomach due to morning sickness. Though that may be true, Rose was looking gaunter than usual with large circles under her eyes. The worst was when she heard her daughter crying. It almost broke her heart to hear her daughter crying like that, and almost every time she got up to go make sure she was alright, but she observed the same situation occur each time. The Doctor stood at Rose's door, his hand a few inches away as if he wanted to push it open and go to her. She saw him stay in that position for what felt like hours, though it must have been minutes. Just when she thought he was bracing himself to open the door, he would suddenly back up and return to the living room where he 'slept' on the couch, only to return and do the whole thing all over again a few minutes later. From what Jackie had reasoned, he went through the same routine occurred every time Rose cried until all was quiet in the tiny flat and Rose had fallen into a restless sleep. It was only then that Jackie knew that the Doctor returned to the living room for good. She knew he barely slept because she could sometimes hear him rummaging around, presumably fixing things because every broken thing in the flat had suddenly begun working perfectly a few days after the Doctor arrived. She was surprised all of her appliances weren't ruined due to the Doctor's 'upgrading', but apparently he actually knew what he was doing.

Jackie walked into the kitchen that morning, hoping her daughter was up already. She herself had overslept and missed her alarm. It appeared Rose got up at time as she was slowly drinking a glass of orange juice staring off into space. The Doctor was seated across from her, pushing a plate of toast towards her that she just ignored.

"Come on, Rose, I know you're hungry," the Doctor murmured, obviously knowing he was losing the uphill battle when Rose just glared at him in response. "Do it for the baby," he added on so low Jackie could barely hear.

"Thanks but I've already thrown up this morning," Rose retorted in an emotionless voice, contradicting her words as she picked up a piece of toast and took a minuscule bite out of it. "And it isn't like you care anyway."

Jackie entered the kitchen then, not wanting to continue eavesdropping. The Doctor's head whipped up, his eyes flitting back to glace at Rose nibbling on the dry toast. "Rose, you should get ready soon," she said as a way of greeting, sitting down on the vacant chair.

Rose completely ignored the Doctor's presence, turning to her mother with more exuberance than usual. "Ready for what? I'm not working today," Rose explained, glad that she had decided to only work at the café a few days a week. And even then she didn't really want to, she only did it to prove to the Doctor she was capable on her own. Because she really did not enjoy being pregnant. At all. She wished that she only had morning sickness instead of being sick all day every day. All of those stupid stories about glowing and loving being pregnant were complete shit in her opinion. It wasn't beautiful, it felt like a parasite sucking the life out of her. She knew her opinion would change once she was holding her child, but she had already promised herself she would never get pregnant again. "I just feel like lying around today. Maybe I can try some custard later, thought it looked good last night."

"You never told me that," the Doctor exclaimed, looking up at Rose who was finally looking at him. He got a mischievous grin on his face before he spoke again. "Have you been craving bananas yet, Rose? That would be a fantastic food for you to eat right now…good source of potassium. And bananas are good."

"Bananas make me gag," Rose responded curtly, turning away from him to look at her mother once more. Jackie had to stifle a laugh at Rose's response, as she knew for a fact that bananas were one of the only foods Rose could hold down recently. And, despite what her daughter said, it looked like she was enjoying the snack, not gagging.

The Doctor got a sad puppy look on his face for a second before he plastered on a huge smile, glad that Rose was talking to him even if it was just to annoy him. "Oh, maybe you will later," the Doctor said cautiously. He reached out to touch her hand, but Rose just yanked it out of his reach under the table. Wincing just a bit, the Doctor continued to talk. "I can go out for custard with you, Rose. Or I could just pick some up for you and watch your favorite movie with you today. And if you feel better later on I can go see Emma with you, I will even go shopping with you two if you will let me."

By now Jackie had stood up and soundlessly walked out of the kitchen to give them space. This was how their fights, or 'discussions' as the alien called them, always started. The Doctor would try to get involved with Rose and spew ideas of them spending time together. Rose would flat out refuse anything he suggested and get quite cheeky with him, tearing apart anything he suggested. It would always end with Rose reminding the Doctor that he was the one who had mucked everything up by saying the baby wasn't his. And if the baby wasn't his she sure as hell wasn't. Jackie had never heard what the Doctor said in response to that because by the time it had escalated that far she was already making her way out of the flat. She knew the fight lasted much longer than that, but for once she felt inappropriate listening in on their private discussions.

"No," Rose huffed, pushing the toast away from herself again and leaning back in the chair. She rolled her eyes, turning her attention to inspecting her hair for split ends. "I can't see Emma as a friend anymore. I can get away without talking about what happened at work because we don't have time to talk," Rose explained begrudgingly. She really felt terrible that she was a terrible friend for Emma, but she didn't know what else to do. Perhaps in the future she could reconnect with the redhead, she really had liked her. "All she knows is that her boyfriend broke her heart, was supposedly behind some scheme that killed multiple people, and he's dead now. Plus, I don't have it in me to pretend like I'm happily married to John Smith anymore."

"There are other things we can do, Rose," the Doctor explained in a quiet voice, dropping the Emma suggestion. It didn't seem like Rose was going to budge today, she never did. "I can show you all the outfits I wore in my previous incarnations, I know how much you would want to see that. I'm sure the TARDIS could bring up a grand variety of clothes for you and you can 'play dress up' like you used to do all the time. We can ask the TARDIS to reconstruct the bowling alley, I'm sure she would for you. Or we could go to the museum and make fun of how inaccurate the exhibits are."

"I'm not ten anymore," Rose whispered, studying he design on his tie so she wouldn't have to look at his face. She was _tired._ So very tired of being on edge all the time. Of course she wanted to forgive the Doctor, had almost many times, but she just couldn't. The most important thing right now was her baby and she couldn't be selfish and go off with the Doctor because she loved him. No, her child needed a stable environment to grow up in. She was determined to be a good mother, would do everything it takes even if it meant letting the Doctor go. Sometimes she believed the Doctor, that he would be there for her and the baby. But then she would think back to what he said, to how he left Sarah Jane, and not believe he wouldn't do the same for her. And, as he had said himself, if he didn't consider the child his what would keep him from abandoning him or her too? "It doesn't matter what you suggest, Doctor. I will always say no," she finally added, gulping down the last of her juice.

"I would take you to Gallifrey if it still existed, Rose. I would sneak you in with me so you could see my beautiful planet, but I can't," the Doctor explained, seeing the hard look in Rose's eyes. It was the last thing he thought to say, the only thing that might get a reaction out of her. "Come on, there must be something you will do with me!"

Rose's head whipped up and she met his eyes. "You said you were going to take me to Barcelona. You never did."

"You'll let me take you to Barcelona?" the Doctor asked, jumping out of his seat and practically bouncing up and down in front of her. "Do you mean that, Rose?" the Doctor said, actually kneeling down in front of her and grabbing onto her hands. "You believe me now? You want to travel in the TARDIS with me again?"

"It'll be a test run," Rose explained, surprising the Doctor when she reached out and smoothed down his hair. "To make my decision…I can't put it off any longer, Doctor. I just need to be sure I make the right one."

Jackie, although she was strangely glad that Rose seemed to be coming around, knew she couldn't let her daughter get into the blue box right now and walked back into the kitchen. "Rose, you have that doctor's appointment. It's in an hour. I reminded you about it yesterday," Jackie said, clearly exasperated as her daughter let out a huff of annoyance and slunk out of the kitchen to go get ready.

Jackie sat down at the kitchen table, watching as the Doctor clenched his teeth and sat back down in the chair he was in before. He pretended to be busy by shoving his face deeper into the thick book he had been reading, ignoring the glare she was giving him.

"You know I could do this myself with the equipment I have on the TARDIS. It would be so much easier than your primitive medicine. Gah, how people survived this age astounds me. Honestly though, are you sure it's safe for her to be going to the doctor now? I mean, who knows what they could do wrong! They might even hurt Rose or the baby because they have no idea what they are doing," the Doctor complained, finally breaking the silence.

"This would be more comfortable for her right now and she needs comfort more than anything. After all, she is human and this is how these things are done on Earth. And, according to you, the baby is completely human and not your child," Jackie huffed.

"That isn't what I meant!" the Doctor announced as he stood up with a pained look on his face. "I am going to be this baby's dad no matter how it was conceived. That was what I was trying to say and now everything is blown out of proportion and I don't know what I am supposed to do," the Doctor whispered. Jackie was surprised when she saw the Doctor suddenly stand up and storm out the door without another word or glance her direction.

…

Rose sat down in the uncomfortable waiting room chair tightly gripping onto her mother's hand, trying to forget the absence of a certain person as she glanced around the white room. She didn't know what it was her mum had said to the Doctor, but when she came out to leave he was nowhere in sight. That surprised her more than a bit, Rose never doubted that he would be begging to come with her to any appointment and now that she was actually going to ask him to come he was gone again.

"So, what will happen at the appointment today?" Rose asked her mother as she tried to ease some of the stress she was feeling about seeing the doctor for the first time in her pregnancy. She had been reading countless books about pregnancy the past few days and it still terrified her. It was weird, the fact that a tiny human being was growing inside of her. She had read that the baby already had fingernails. That strange fact made it all the more real to her, more real than this appointment was making her feel.

Before Jackie could answer, her phone rang and she talked into it for several moments, annoyance obvious in her tone as she tried to explain something to whoever she was talking to with no avail. "Oh, sweetheart, I need to go to work, there was an emergency and they absolutely need me right now. I'm sorry, you know how much I want to be here with you. Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"Don't worry about me, Mum. I'll call you afterwards to tell you what he said about all of the boring technical stuff. Go, I'll be perfectly fine here by myself, I promise," Rose lied, plastering a fake smile onto her face as her mother left the room, leaving her there all alone once more. As usual.

Only minutes after Jackie left Rose noticed a blonde girl looking at her from across the room, so sent a friendly smile her way. At her smile, the girl got up and settled down into the chair next to Rose, appearing positively elated that Rose had given her attention.

"Hey, I'm Lucy!" the girl excitedly said, turning to Rose with her cheeks flushed. Surprisingly, Rose realized the girl was even younger than she had previously thought, only about sixteen years old or so. She tried to keep the pity out of her expression, she was sure Lucy got that often enough as it was.

"I'm Rose," Rose answered, letting another question slip out, hoping it wasn't rude or anything like that. She assumed it was okay to ask, after all they were both here for the same reason. "How far along are you?"

"Seven months now, thankfully this is almost done. How about you? Not far along I assume, you are still tiny. Blimey, I can't wait until I can fit into my old skirts again."

"A bit over two months I think…" Rose said, surprised by the pitying look Lucy gave her when she answered. Rose assumed she could tell from her face how nervous she was to be here. "This is my first appointment, actually."

"Oh, that was the worst time for me! The morning sickness was terrible and my stupid boyfriend left then as well," Lucy exclaimed, furrowing her brow as she tried to figure out whether Rose had a significant other or not. "Has yours been bad?" she tacked on the end. "Was that your mother you were with before?"

"Yeah but she had to go to work…" Rose responded, answering the question Lucy hadn't asked. "The dad isn't coming to the appointment if that's what your wondering."

Lucy noticed her hesitation and quickly spoke up again, assuming she had acted too rash. "Sorry, I'm sure he was a right arse."

"That isn't it at all…I'm not sure if he is going to be around, I mean, I'm too proud to say how much I need him right now. He likes traveling and you can't really do that with a baby, plus he has always been going around talking about how much he hates domestics and you can't really get any more domestic than a baby. I don't want to force him to give it all up..."

"Maybe you will get lucky! But if you don't, and it won't be as bad as you think," Lucy responded, her bright personality quickly erasing all of the awkwardness of the situation.

Before Rose had a chance to answer Lucy again, she practically jumped in surprise when she heard the Doctor's voice down the hallway, obviously arguing with someone as he came into view. She was about to get up and interfere when the Doctor obviously gave up on his argument, probably because they had just threatened to throw him out. After that, while she sat on the edge of her seat, the Doctor walked over, still glaring at the nurses he had been fighting with. He plopped down in the seat next to Rose, putting his arm around her shoulder as she relaxed a bit at his presence. It was just like him.

"What did you do?" Rose asked a moment later, wondering why that nurse had been glaring at him. It could be anything really, the Doctor wasn't really one for following rules. As a rule he didn't like hospitals, annoyed when the medical doctors challenged his name. Though she was relieved he had stopped himself before he actually got thrown out this time around. It wouldn't have been a very good part to her day for the Doctor to presumably come to the appointment only to be banned before she even got to speak to him.

The Doctor let out an annoyed groan, raising his eyebrow at the nurse who was still looking at him. Finally turning to glance at her, he reluctantly answered her question. "I may have been checking up on their records to see how qualified this supposed doctor you are going to is," he finished, shaking his head again. "They tried to take my sonic away, Rose."

"You can't just..." Rose mumbled, wondering how the Doctor would have reacted if he had actually lost his sonic. "And it doesn't matter how qualified the doctor is, it isn't like anything is really going to happen today anyway."

Before he could reply, Lucy leaned over past Rose to get a better look at the Doctor. Rose had almost forgotten about the bubbly blonde sitting next to her and dreaded to think what offensive thing the Doctor would say to her. "Hi! I'm Lucy, you must be Rose's…" Lucy said quickly, extending her hand out for the Doctor to shake, but he just stared at her hand in confusion. He shared a look with Rose, obviously wondering why this girl was introducing herself to him.

Thankfully, Lucy didn't notice the sudden tension as she was called out of the waiting room a moment later before the Doctor could respond. As she left she thanked Rose for talking to her and they both wished each other luck. That left the Doctor and Rose awkwardly sitting together without speaking. Rose felt the Doctor shift and pull her closer to him, placing a kiss on hairline. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding ever since she had walked into this office without him. He was here. She hadn't even allowed herself to imagine him coming.

"Did Jackie call you and make you come here?" Rose asked suddenly, curious about the Doctor's sudden appearance. She hadn't dared to expect him to show up after his sudden disappearance that morning. She didn't know what had occurred between her mother and him, but when she had come out into the kitchen Jackie was fuming and the Doctor was nowhere in sight.

"No…I'm pretty sure Jackie would never call me about this anyway," he replied as he tugged on his ear with his free hand. "You know she isn't my biggest fan at the moment," he admitted. Rose had to stop herself from arguing with him on that point. Yes, it was true that Jackie thought he was rude, but she hadn't said a negative thing about him after he came back. In fact she was always nagging Rose about forgiving him, saying he loved her and clearly was sorry.

Rose glanced around the room, hating the typical decor. "Then how did you know when to come?" she asked, glad he had arrived at the right time and was here now. Of course she hadn't enjoyed the few minutes she had been here alone, but now that felt so long ago with his comforting arm around her. Rose took a deep breath, checking to make sure he actually wanted to be here. "You don't have to stay...I'm perfectly fine by myself," Rose lied, hoping that the Doctor did not listen to her and leave. Plus, the fact that she was now gripping tightly onto his hand may have contradicted her words as well.

"Nah, I'm already here, why leave now?" the Doctor said, his attempt at a joke failing as his voice did not match his teasing words at all. "I want to be here, Rose," he finally finished as he squeezed her shoulder. Despite the nonchalance of his tone of voice, Rose knew the significance of what he had said. He had said it many times these past few weeks, but she honestly didn't believe it until now.

Before she could reply, Rose's name was called and she reluctantly stood up to walk to the foreboding door. Rose was more than thankful when she felt the Doctor grab her hand and squeeze it reassuringly as he pulled her with him. She didn't want to be here and she was sure he didn't either. A part of her was tempted to turn away right then and leave, continue pretending this wasn't happening. But, as her nausea every morning constantly reminded her, she was pregnant and that wasn't going to go away.

Once they had been led to the correct room and asked the typical questions from the nurse who was still glaring at the Doctor, he and Rose were finally alone. Rose felt awkward sitting on the exam table, never imagining herself being in this situation. She was halfway sure that she would suddenly wake up, laughing at what a long and elaborate dream she had just had. However, she was sure this wasn't a dream as the Doctor wandered around the small room, scanning every piece of medical equipment he could reach. She was about to tell him to stop, but then they would have to talk and this certainly wasn't the place for a long, emotional conversation.

After several minutes of just hearing the sonic whirring, Rose exhaled a long breath when a sharp knock on the door sounded and the door slowly creaked open. With a polite smile on her face, the woman entered the room. "Miss Tyler, I'm Doctor Jarvis," the young and pretty brunette in a doctor's lab coat said as she walked to stand in front of her, firmly shaking her hand. After that, she turned to the Doctor, who was standing in the corner, pretending like he hadn't just dumped the bowl of the cotton balls onto the floor. She took it in stride, just raising her eyebrow as the alien kicked the few stray cotton balls towards the corner of the room.

"Nice to meet you," Rose mumbled, feeling awkward as the woman pulled out her chart and glanced through it for a few long moments. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Doctor almost knock over the jar of tongue depressors. She bit her lip to suppress a smile as the Doctor, with wide eyes, moved closer to them so that he was out of the way of anything he could knock over.

"So you're just here to make sure everything is going as planned in the pregnancy so far?" Jarvis asked, glancing up at her as she finished reading the nurse's notes. She readjusted her glasses, squinting at something in the papers after Rose nodded. As Rose stared at her bitten cuticles, Jarvis put the clipboard down and turned to face the Doctor. "You must be the father?" she asked, not noticing how Rose tensed as she waited for an answer.

There wasn't even a moment of hesitation before the Doctor responded. "Yep, I'm the Doctor," the Doctor clipped off, bouncing over to Jarvis as he did so. Rose gave him a harsh look, warning him not to say anything so rude that they were kicked out, he had his trouble making face on. "Now, tell me, doctor, how qualified are you at your job?" he cocked an eyebrow when Jarvis just grinned in response.

"I'm entirely qualified, _Doctor_ ," she retorted smoothly, reaching out to shake his hand. When the Doctor just stared at it, oblivious, she put her hand down and frowned.

Rose, surprised at the Doctor's protective behavior and the fact that he had so quickly said it was his child, spoke up. She liked this doctor, she didn't want to go searching for a new one just because her stupid Time Lord was rude. "I'm sorry he's being rude, Doctor Jarvis," Rose began, wringing her hands together. "We're both just a little nervous…"

"Of course, it's your first pregnancy," Jarvis answered, turning her attention to Rose. The Doctor shot Rose a harsh expression, clearly annoyed she had interrupted his interrogation of this poor woman. "It is usually the fathers who freak out the first appointment because that is when it finally hits them how real it all is. For the mothers they've been dealing with morning sickness and hormones, so the baby is very much real," Jarvis explained, staying at ease and professional with the odd couple. "Now, first things first, do you have any questions or concerns as of late?"

"Weeeeeeeell," the Doctor began to say, only to be poked in the ribs by Rose's rather sharp elbow. She didn't want him talking for her, after all he didn't know everything.

"I think I better do the talking for this," Rose said to the Doctor before turning towards Jarvis. She thought back, not entirely sure what she should say, everything seemed normal from the books she had read. "I've had all of the usual symptoms. You know, the expected weird cravings and mood swings."

The Doctor spoke up then, smirking at Rose as he did so. "Rose is making it sound better than it has been. She gets sick quite a lot and is constantly exhausted, more so than the usual pregnancy," he continued, once again an expert on everything.

"Hmmm, according to your tests all of her hormones dealing with pregnancy appear in the normal range and nothing else is coming up on the scans," Jarvis explained, barely stopping an eye roll when the Doctor came up behind her and studied the clipboards she was more than capable of reading herself. "Has there been any extra stress lately?"

"Well, there have been quite a few issues these past few weeks," Rose said, choosing her words carefully. "But from now on there won't be anything like that, everything is worked out now. We have it all figured out now, no more arguments," Rose whispered for more of the Doctor's sake than Jarvis's. As she said the words she reached out and grabbed ahold of the Doctor's hand as he returned a blinding smile at her.

Jarvis eyed both of them hesitantly, unsure if she believed Rose or not. "Well then, I'll take your word for it. But if you don't work on that it could lead to some issues for the baby."

After assuring Jarvis that it wouldn't be an issue anymore, Rose noticed that the Doctor was getting rather tense as Jarvis set up the sonogram machine, finally perching himself right next to where she lay on the examination table, huffing in annoyance against her ear. Attempting to get her full attention, the Doctor whispered stupid jokes into her ear, finally earning him a playful slap to go away from Rose when Jarvis noticed what he was doing.

"Well then, here we go, Rose, everyone's favorite part of the appointment. I have to warn you that this will be a little cold," Jarvis announced, finally placing the wet get on her stomach as she tried to get a picture for the sonogram.

"Is that it?" Rose asked, clearly not amused. This was definitely not what she had been expecting, that's for sure. "That? That is it?"

"Isn't it beautiful, love?" the Doctor murmured, surprising her as he gazed up in awe at the monitor and suddenly kissed her lips. "That's our child."

Rose moved her head to the side, deciding that it was pretty incredible. Although the baby didn't even look that human yet and was very small, she did see why it was so amazing, as she had created this thing and soon it would be a tiny human.

…

As soon as Jarvis left the room once she was done checking everything, Rose realized she had been crying. She tried not to feel embarrassed as the Doctor leaned forward and hesitantly wiped away her tears. She didn't want to admit to herself what was really bothering her, how much she wished the baby had two hearts. That she could give that to the Doctor. Pushing the thought away, she got up to leave, surprised that the stupid appointment had affected her so much.

"Do want to go anywhere in particular now, Rose?" the Doctor asked as he led her outside. Her train of thoughts were broken as she was hit by the cold air outside.

Rose merely shook her head no, not sure if she really felt like going anywhere at all. It was all odd to her, nothing had been said aloud between them, but she felt there didn't need to be. With the Doctor right now, there didn't need to be. She was Rose Tyler and he was the Doctor and that was all they needed to know. Noticing her shivering, the Doctor automatically put his trench coat on her and put his arm around her in an attempt to warm her up.

Getting into and riding in the taxi to the unknown, to Rose that is, location, Rose just nestled up against the Doctor, relishing in his closeness and the silence of the moment. The entire time the Doctor was humming some tune she didn't recognize into her ear and tracing the veins on her palms and there was something strangely comforting about it.

"Where are we?" Rose asked as the taxi stopped in front of a random field. Rose shot the Doctor a questioning look, but the Doctor just pulled her out of the car. Ignoring her questions, the Doctor began to head towards the forests past the empty field.

"Just wait, sweetheart. We have to walk a bit, you okay with that?" the Doctor explained, glad that she didn't protest and just followed him, her confused face simply adorable.

After many minutes of walking, Rose let out a gasp when she saw the TARDIS sitting in the middle of the forest in a seemingly random location. She had seen the TARDIS parked some pretty odd places, but what in the hell was it doing in the middle of nowhere outside of London. "Why is the TARDIS here?"

"Would you like to go inside?" the Doctor asked as he unlocked the door and held it open for her.

Rose nodded excitedly, practically running into the blue box that she had missed so much and sitting down on the jump seat.

"Let's go to the library, eh?" the Doctor asked, grabbing her hand and practically yanking her to his favorite room where he sat down on a couch next to her. "Remember you need to stay relaxed, sweetheart. So just sit still and listen to me ramble on, yeah?"

"So…" Rose began to say, but was immediately cut off by the Doctor pressing his lips against hers, quickly reciprocating the same passion back to him. If this was his way of reducing her stress, she definitely wasn't going to complain.

Speaking between kisses the Doctor brokenly explained what he wanted to tell her. "Rose, I have a plan that I want to ask you if it is okay with you. The TARDIS, she can stay here…unnoticed and hidden, she can remain parked right here forever. I can let her die in peace, slowly become a silly and old blue box that no one can ever open."

Once the words that the Doctor had just said finally settled in, Rose prevented him from kissing her again and spoke up. "Doctor, why would you ever do that?"

"Don't you see what I am trying to give you here? We can leave, we can go anywhere you want, anywhere you could dream of on Earth. And the TARDIS will stay here, far away from us. We can have our forever, Rose. Together, just you and me. Just like you promised," the Doctor excitedly explained, his eyes lighting up as he leaned over and kissed her again.

"No, Doctor…no…we can't," Rose gasped, her eyes watering at the Doctor's words as she looked around the beautiful TARDIS library.

"Why not? Isn't that what you wanted? You wanted to grow old with me, live a life. And now we can! We can raise our baby on Earth and our child will be safe and happy with us, we can be a family," the Doctor whispered as he leaned and, much to her surprise, kissed her stomach lightly, looking up at her with the most adorable puppy dog eyes that she had ever seen. "Come on, Rose, just say yes to me. To us."

Rose couldn't stop the tears now and let out a squeak, launching herself in the Doctor's arms and burying her face against his neck. "Oh, Doctor…you have no idea how much I want that with you. How much I wanted you to say that, how often I wished. But, we can't, you can't anyway. The world needs you, the universe needs you to save them, and you can't give that up like this. I won't let you sacrifice them for me."

"You and the baby need me," the Doctor whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers. "And I need you. Both of you."

"I can't do this to you. You need to be the Doctor and save the day, and it's what you do. It's who you are," Rose murmured, leaning back comfortably against the Doctor. "Please, can we talk about this later? I haven't really slept in like two weeks and feel like I am about to pass out."

The Doctor just nodded, watching Rose's beautiful face relax into sleep, relishing in her warmth against him as she unconsciously snuggled even closer to him.

Soon after she fell asleep, the Doctor stroked her hair, uttering the words he wished he had the strength to tell her while her eyes were open. "Rose Tyler, I love you."

 **Hey guys! Review as usual.**

 **I love comments and you,**

 **Gabrielle**


	18. Coming or Going?

**Hey all! Almost done!**

 **Enjoy and read on...**

Coming or Going?

Rose yawned when she woke up, smiling when she felt that the Doctor was still next to her. She rolled over and lightly poked him so that he would turn towards her again. It was odd and familiar and Rose wanted every day to be like this. To wake up next to him, to see the corners of his eyes crinkle as a smile lit up his face when he looked at her..

"Morning, love. You slept a long time," the Doctor murmured, grinning as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. It didn't need to be mentioned that he hadn't slept that night. He had just been there next to her, trying to memorize how it felt to have her in his arms. The way her slightly open lips quivered as she took a deep breath and the magnificent way her body always seemed to curl up against his. No matter how he moved, it was like she could sense it in her dreams and re-positioned herself so that she was near him.

As the Doctor scooted over, Rose suddenly remembered that she was not in the library like she had been when she fell asleep. There was no way the couch in there could ever be this comfortable or spacious. She was in a bedroom that she had never seen before, which didn't surprise her since the TARDIS was infinitely large. The incredibly soft and deep blue sheets should have been her first clue as to where she was. "Where are we?" she asked although an inkling was already in her mind.

"My bedroom, of course," the Doctor stated, oblivious to the way Rose was gaping at her surroundings. Now that he had said so, she knew it was obvious that she was in his room. The room was simply breathtaking as instead of a ceiling there was two golden suns, which she automatically knew was what Gallifrey would have looked like. The big four poster bed took up the center of the large room, there was a closed door that Rose assumed would lead to a bathroom, and the desks and drawers were dark wood. All in all, the room looked like it wasn't used all that often.

"Are you..." Rose began, turning to look at the Doctor. "Do you sleep in here often?"

The Doctor didn't respond immediately, but instead got out of the bed and pulled on an oxford over his t-shirt. "I only have to sleep a few hours every week," the Doctor explained quietly. "So I fall asleep occasionally in here, but I'm never in here other than then."

"Why? It's gorgeous," she exclaimed, sitting up in bed and relishing in how unbelievably comfortable the bed was. And here she had thought her bed in the TARDIS was comfortable...

"It takes a lot of time to keep the TARDIS running smoothly," he explained while Rose guffawed in response. It sure didn't feel like the time machine was smooth to her. "Anyway, you should come eat breakfast. I heard it is better to eat early after you wake up as a means of warding off the morning sickness," he finished as Rose hesitantly got out of bed.

Finally heading to eat breakfast, Rose hesitated a moment before she entered the kitchen. It was odd to be back in the time machine, she didn't know how to feel about it. It almost felt like she was trespassing, having been away so long, but she hoped in a matter of time it would feel like home again. Because the TARDIS was home for her, had been since she had decided to go into a blue box with practically a stranger. So, able to navigate the twisting corridors with ease, she found herself in the kitchen. The Doctor was standing in the kitchen, staring awkwardly into the practically unlimited pantry. Rose wasn't entirely sure if the food restocked itself on its own, but only a few times had she bought food she wanted to try at an alien market.

Smirking as she walked into the room and decided to let the Doctor in on a secret. "You know…I lied about what I said before," she began as the Doctor turned to face her with a cocked eyebrow.

"What?" the Doctor asked as he awkwardly pulled on his ear, acting like her statement hadn't made his hearts race.

"Bananas," Rose exclaimed, practically skipping to stand next to the alien. She loved teasing him and was so relieved she felt comfortable enough with him to flirt like this again. "You have _no_ idea how much I crave them. Like all the time; they are always what I want to eat! I caught myself tearing up the other day because mum ran out of bananas," she laughed, can't believing she had been so mistrusting of him.

The Doctor's eyebrows shot up his forehead as he let out a breath of relief. "The hormones…" the Doctor whispered, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. He continued on with his statement as he gaped at Rose in mock horror, even shaking his voice in terror. "They have begun!"

"Oi, I am the one carrying your child," Rose snorted as the Doctor just smiled. She smirked as well, feeling free to be able to say 'your child' so casually. "Anyhow, go make me those banana pancakes again!" she ordered, wondering if he knew how to cook anything else. John had been decent at cooking if he tried hard enough, but the Doctor was just atrocious. They rarely even ate on the TARDIS, usually eating across time and space. Honestly, the most she had ever seen him cook successfully was popcorn for their movie nights.

"I didn't know I was a short order cook now," the Doctor joked as he turned towards the stove. Despite his words, he immediately began to the TARDIS to get Rose her breakfast. This was one of the moments the ship was fantastic, when she could provide food in seconds and one didn't have to slave over the stove for hours with mediocre results. "You know, I actually was a cook once. It was when I was in my fourth body actually. The TARDIS got a little miffed at me and locked me out for a few months. I eventually gave up reasoning with her and walked into the first doorway I saw and asked for a job. They gave it to me on the spot, I still have no idea why they would hire me. Anyway, I was in charge of uncorking wine bottles and marinating steaks for rich people."

Rose rolled her eyes as he rambled on more about all the times he had been forced to cook throughout his life. She didn't mind though, she loved it when he opened up about his past regenerations like this. After meeting Sarah Jane, Rose had confronted him about it and he had relented, saying that he just didn't want her to feel like the last in a long line and replaceable because she wasn't to him. Even though it still hurt to know how many other women he had traveled with, she sincerely believed that he cared about her and after the past few weeks especially knew he wouldn't just abandon her. He never made a big deal about what he told her, but she knew how important it was for him to tell her this. Every so often he would slip in a story about a past companion out of the blue and after he finished the tale he would smile at her like he was apologizing. All of those things together only made Rose love the Doctor more.

By the time that the Doctor was done talking Rose had been done eating for quite a while and the leftover pancakes had gone cold a long time ago. "So, Rose," the Doctor began. "What do you want to do now?"

"We never really finished our discussion last night," Rose explained. She motioned for the Doctor to follow her as she got out of her seat. "Come on, let's go to the console room."

The Doctor's face dropped a bit at Rose's words. He held onto Rose's hand as he led her there and almost immediately began fiddling with a lever on the controls.

"Doctor, I know you mean well with asking me if I wanted that with you. The slow path, but I know you don't want that," Rose said, fumbling for an explanation.

"I said that I _wanted_ that, Rose," the Doctor muttered as he turned to look at Rose. "Why can't you believe that? I'll do it all with you, if you let me. Of course it'll be hard at first because this has been my life for so long."

Rose let out a huff of annoyance as she plopped down on the jump seat. "Doctor, you are asking if I want everything you hate," Rose continued, putting up a finger to silence him. "A house, Doctor. With doors and carpets and walls. You could never live like that, you would be so bored. You can't go from living among the stars to just living in a random Earth city with a shop girl."

"How many times can I tell you this, Rose? You are _not_ just a shop girl, you are so much more than that. You have saved the world so many times and you are just…fantastic," the Doctor said, breathing out a sigh of relief when Rose smiled. "And you deserve this with me, Rose. You and the baby should get this life. With me."

"But…I can't do that to you and you know that. I can't be selfish like that. The universe needs the Doctor more than I do," Rose explained. She reached out and ran her fingers through the Doctor's spikey hair with a sigh. "I know that you mean it and would give that to me, all of it, but I can't ask that of you. I just can't say yes, Doctor."

"So, you are against this?" the Doctor asked. He ran his hands through his hair, wondering if Rose would be okay with what he offered next. "Completely sure you won't regret your decision? I don't want you to just say this in the heat of the moment. You know, you have quite a few hormones flowing about that may be affecting your choices right now and I want to make sure you know exactly what you are saying no to. But if you _ever_ regret it I will come and do domestic with you without a moment's hesitation."

"Yes, I know exactly what I'm doing. I don't want that, Doctor. I don't want white picket fences and two point five kids and the picture perfect life," Rose said. She leaned in and kissed him, missing the feel of his lips against her own, before she continued. "For the first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all. Not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor. A man who could change his face. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. And do you know what he asked me?"

The Doctor took a deep breath before he answered. He could hardly believe that this was how she felt about him. Rose Tyler was fantastic and she loved him more than he dared to imagine. "How long are you going to stay with me?"

Rose looked deep into his eyes before she responded again, hoping that he knew how serious these words were to her. "Forever."

"On the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked. It almost seemed too good to be true, Rose forgiving him for everything that he had done and wanting to stay with him. After all his mistakes, Rose still loved him.

"Of course. It'll be the Doctor with Rose Tyler and the TARDIS. Just as it should be," Rose whispered. This was one of those moments that she wanted to hold onto forever. For once the Doctor was being completely open with her and she wanted to savor in it.

"And the baby," the Doctor added. If Rose thought she couldn't love him anymore, she was wrong as she heard him make sure the baby was included in their plan. After everything he had lost, he was going to do this with her.

"You know, we won't be able to be running as much now," Rose explained. She wanted to make sure he would never regret this decision. Sure they would go back to living on the TARDIS, but it wouldn't be the same. "Well, eventually, but it'll be different."

"I won't let anything happen to you or the baby," the Doctor whispered. "No matter what I have to do, I _will_ keep both of you safe. But that means you can't go wandering off and be your usual jeopardy friendly self anymore, yeah?"

"Oi, I'm not that bad!" Rose announced, then her face broke into a smile when she realized just how true the Doctor was when he said she was jeopardy friendly. "I will try my best and we will keep on traveling. There is so much more to see and we are going to experience it."

The Doctor just laughed, the sound perfect to Rose's ears. "Our child will have the biggest playground of them all. Think, all of time and space at his or her fingertips."

Without explaining anything, the Doctor grabbed Rose's hand, leading her to a door in the TARDIS. Putting his hands over her eyes, he nudged her into the room. Opening her eyes, Rose was amazed at what she saw. "Doctor, what is this?"

"The nursery," the Doctor stated. He smirked at Rose's expression as he flipped a switch on his sonic screwdriver and filled the room with an image of the stars. The room was more than Rose could have imagined with the added stars, perfect for a child raised on the TARDIS, she decided. Since they didn't know the sex of the baby yet, the walls were painted light yellow. But the best thing was the crib. It had a hanging mobile of the stars and it was TARDIS blue. And from the expression on the Doctor's face, she knew that it was his when he was a child and that he had probably had his other children in it as well.

Rose didn't know what to say, so she went over to the pile of stuffed animals. The room was well stocked with everything a baby could ever possibly need. "I love the little Slavine doll. Where did you get all of this stuff? When?"

"Well, I could just let the TARDIS design it on her own, but I didn't want that. So I just opened up an empty room and did it all myself these past few weeks. I thought maybe if you didn't take me up on my first offer you would want this instead," the Doctor said, pulling her in for a tight hug. "I was hoping for this in a way. I think it'll be magnificent…we always are together."

After what felt like hours talking about the life they were beginning to plan together, Rose said the Doctor's typical phrase. "Onwards and upwards, yeah?"

"Allons-y."

…

"Oh, I was getting worried about where the two of you had gone!" Jackie squealed when Rose and the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS that was conveniently parked in her flat.

"Sorry, Mum," Rose said. She was glad that she had stopped to tell her mother everything that they had planned. It had surprisingly been the Doctor's idea to come back to the Powell Estates before they went anywhere else.

Jackie smiled, noticing how Rose was holding tightly onto the Doctor's hand. So they had both decided to come to their senses and admit they were fooling no one. She was glad for that. She didn't want Rose to go through this alone. Her grandbaby needed a father and she supposed this lanky alien would suffice. "It's okay, sweetheart. What did they say about the baby? You never called me like you promised."

"We forgot," the Doctor replied. "The baby is developing perfectly so far. There is nothing to worry about now, I'm sure our son or daughter will be perfect."

"Come in, don't just stand there. I will make you some tea and we can talk. I feel like you two have something to tell me," Jackie said. She led them to the kitchen as she began to turn on the kettle and put a plate of biscuits that Rose loved on the table.

Rose shared a look with the Doctor, surprised that Jackie had caught on so quickly. At least she wouldn't be that surprised this time. "Are you sure you don't want any help, Mum?"

"No, no, you just sit. I don't want you to exert yourself with the baby now," Jackie said, quickly finishing up and placing three mugs on the table before she sat down. She knew exactly what was going to happen. Rose was going to leave in that blue box with the Doctor just like she had last time. Jackie knew that she had lost her daughter the moment she stepped into the blue police box. She could do so much more now, see the stars and save the world. And Rose loved it, she was so much happier ever since she had met the Doctor.

"You see, Jackie," the Doctor began, deciding he should include that he had offered to stay here with her first. "I offered to stay here on Earth with Rose. To leave the TARDIS and live somewhere, get a mortgage even, to settle down and raise the baby together."

Surprisingly, Jackie let out a laugh at his words, earning a glare from Rose for not taking the Doctor seriously. "I know that my daughter would never agree to that. She isn't going to let you give up your life in the stars."

"See, I told you it wasn't a spur of the moment decision!" Rose proclaimed as she happily sipped on her tea, excited that her mother was being supportive right now.

"Anyway," Jackie continued. "When the two of you are traveling the universe in that box you better be careful. Remember it isn't just Rose you have to protect anymore, Doctor. She is going to be more fragile when she is pregnant and you can't have her be in danger like she usually is. And once the baby is born…well, that is a lecture for a whole different time."

"So you are okay with it then?" Rose asked. She had known her mother knew what was going to happen, but she didn't think she would accept it so easily.

Jackie stood up and pulled her daughter in for a hug before she responded. "Of course. I know you will be happy with him. That's all I want for my Rose. And I know there is nothing I could ever do to change her mind about you, so I will just make it easier for her and give up trying…for now, anyway."

"I love you, Mum!" Rose said, clinging onto her mother. She missed her mum so much when she was traveling and she knew the feeling was mutual, but she was keeping her mother safe as well.

…

After spending the rest of the week with Jackie, Rose finally decided that it was time to leave in the TARDIS with the Doctor. And now was the goodbye. Even though she knew they would see her mother again soon, it seemed so odd to be leaving. She had been stuck on Earth with John Smith for three months and then practically another month with the Doctor so it had been quite some time since she'd had the rush that came with traveling the stars.

"Don't worry Mum, we'll be back soon," Rose said, pulling her mother in for yet another hug.

"You better," Jackie exclaimed. She hugged the Doctor, even going as far to kiss him, much to his displeasure. "I want to see my daughter before she has this baby, you got that?"

"Yes, ma'am," the Doctor replied, a smirk on his face. Unless he wanted to get slapped until he regenerated, he knew that he was going to have to buckle down and have at least monthly visit to the Powell Estates from now on.

Rose laughed and went inside of the TARDIS, breathing a sigh when she entered the familiar ship. However, the Doctor found himself listening to a lecture from Jackie. "Now, I'm going to make this short because Rose isn't too patient right now. But, if you hurt my Rose in any way, physically or emotionally, I will have the pleasure of killing you more than once. And you better make sure my grandchild doesn't come out with tentacles. Got that?" Jackie asked, finally cracking a smile at the Doctor's terrified expression. "Go on then, go back to Rose."

The Doctor assured Jackie that he would never hurt Rose and finally ambled into the TARDIS, quickly sending the ship into the vortex before he turned to Rose with a huge grin on his face, repeating the very same words he had said the first time she had gone on an adventure with him. "Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?"

"You think you're so impressive," Rose joked back, remembering when she had cheekily said the same words to him before.

"I am, aren't I?" the Doctor asked, pushing back the lever as the TARDIS began to shakily fly to their next destination.

"You are," Rose agreed once the shaking stopped. She went up to him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest as she wished she would never have to let go again.

 **What do you guys think?**

 **Thanks for sticking with me!**

 **Review please!**

 **Gabrielle**


	19. Doomsday

**And this story is done! I hope you enjoyed it!**

Doomsday

The Beast had told Rose that she was going to die in battle. And she had believed him, she was too scared to admit it to the Doctor, but she just kept waiting for the day she was going to die. The Doctor reassured her by telling her that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her, especially now. And he had tried to keep that promise as much as he could. There were times that she couldn't help but slap him, Rose Tyler was _not_ fragile and she could take care of herself. Then again, she couldn't say that she didn't enjoy being pampered now and again. Whenever her feet hurt, he was there to give her a foot rub. Whenever she cried that she was fat, he was there to reassure her that she was beautiful. Whenever she couldn't sleep, he was there to lull her to fall back to sleep. Whenever she complained about being pregnant, he was there to reassure how it would be worth it when they had the baby. He was there, always.

The Doctor promised her that he would never leave her. He said that a storm was coming, but that only caused him to hold onto her tighter. But she knew that he was terrified of it, that he knew that he couldn't keep her forever. Still, he had promised Rose and he couldn't break such a promise, not again. The Doctor tried to keep them out of trouble, he really did. He took her places he thought were safe. But it seemed as if trouble just kept finding them. Despite that, life was better than either of them could have imagined.

Or at least it was, until they went to go visit Jackie. At first Jackie was upset as they hadn't visited for three months in her time. However, believing that it had only been a month for them due to the size of Rose's seven month along stomach, Jackie greeted them as usual. But then she had showed them the ghosts and everything had fallen apart.

But now everything seemed just a bit better. The Doctor had a plan, a risky one, but he was confident that it would work. He just needed to make certain that Rose safe was again. Seeing her face to plunger with a Dalek had scared him into doing exactly what he was about to do. And it was going to break both of his hearts.

"That's why you've got to go," the Doctor said. He had just explained how he was going to send the Daleks and the Cybermen into the Void and Rose had just realized that they were going to get sucked in as well. He leaned in closer to her, begging her to understand why he had to do this. "Back to Pete's world. Hey, we should call it that. Pete's World. I'm opening the Void, but only on this side. You'll be safe on that side."

Rose, however, was not going to have it. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears and she was angry. How dare he try to send her away! She loved him, he knew that, and now he was going to do this to her. "But you stay on this side?"

"Well, I've got these Magnaclamps. I'll just hold on like I've always done," the Doctor explained in an excited voice that sounded as if it was about to break.

"And I'm supposed to go?" Rose asked. She couldn't stand it right now, his detached answers. "You expect me to go to another world? A world without you?"

"Yeah."

"The world is going to seal off. And you want me to go there? I promised I wasn't going to leave you," Rose said. Her voice was so cold and strong. She wasn't going to let him do this, no matter how noble he thought he was being.

"Yeah," the Doctor repeated. It was all he could say right now, a one-word answer. He couldn't act like this was a goodbye. Not yet.

Rose let out a huff, wiping her nose before she responded. "No. That's not going to happen. You aren't going to leave the baby. It'll need a dad. I won't let you do this to us."

After that it all happened so fast. Jackie and Pete argued. Rose announced that her mum was going to go with Pete to the other world where it was safe. "I can't leave my daughter now. Where she goes, I go. I have been raising her for twenty years and I'm not going to leave her now."

"Mum, I'll be fine," Rose whispered. She needed to convince her she would be okay here. Because there was no way in hell she was going to leave the Doctor. "I've had a life with you for nineteen years, and they were wonderful. But then I met the Doctor, and he had done everything for me, for you, for all of us. The whole planet and all the rest of the stupid planets out there. And he is alone, mum. But he won't be anymore. Never again because he's got me and the baby."

While Rose was talking the Doctor did the hardest thing he ever had to do. Exchanging a look with Pete, they both took a medallion and put one around Rose's and Jackie's necks. Pressing the buttons, they were all transported to the parallel world, leaving the Doctor alone. "I'm sorry," the Doctor said. It had to be done. "I'm so sorry."

However, Rose was not going to give up that easily. The moment she realized what had happened she hit the button again. "No, you aren't going to do that to me again. Don't you ever learn? I'm never going to leave you."

"Rose…" the Doctor whispered. They didn't have much time but he couldn't help but pull her in for a hug, picking her off of the ground as he buried his face into her hair. "Are you sure? You can never see your mother again."

"I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never going to leave you. Not now, not ever," Rose said, kissing the Doctor's shocked lips as she realized how little time they had until the Daleks and Cybermen arrived.

Cocking his head to make sure she was telling the truth, the Doctor went to work. "Well then…don't get worked up, okay? It isn't good for the baby," the Doctor said, continuing when Rose nodded. "But I still need your help. Set the coordinates over there, all six of them."

Rose immediately did as he said. However, she noticed something and pressed a hand over her stomach. The baby was kicking more than usual and it was all she could do to whisper, hoping the baby would listen, to calm down and that everything was going to be okay because its daddy was going to save the day. But internally Rose was not so sure. "Doctor, Cybermen are coming."

"How many floors down?" the Doctor asked, finishing up what he was doing and coming over to Rose to see what was on her computer.

"Just one," Rose whispered. She looked at the Doctor and was scared at what she saw in his eyes. He was scared, the ancient Time Lord was terrified.

Thankfully, just then the computers announced that the levers were ready. It was time to open the breath. The Doctor even smiled at the sound. It was perfect timing.

"There's more like it. Bit of a smile. The old team," Rose joked. She couldn't help but joke right now. It was what they did, she and the Doctor. Because if they didn't they would remember how close to death they always were. Just a fingerbreadths away from losing each other.

"Hope and Glory, Mutt and Jeff, Shiver and Shake," the Doctor said. He placed a reassuring hand on her stomach and a soft smile before he turned to go get the Magnaclamps.

Letting out a giggle, Rose asked the most important question. "Which one's Shiver?"

"Oh, I'm Shake," the Doctor announced. It was so odd, to be joking about something so miniscule when the world was falling apart around them. But they were together for the moment and that was all that mattered. Handing Rose a Magnaclamp, he pointed for her to go to the opposite side of the room and attach it to the wall like he was. "Press the red button."

Rose did as he said, hoping this plan worked. "And we will be okay?"

"I wouldn't do anything if it hurt you right now," the Doctor said, watching as the Daleks came into visibility by the window. "When the breach opens, just hold on tight. We have Void stuff, but not as much as the Daleks and Cybermen. So we'll be okay, but you have to promise me that you won't let go. No matter what happens, you have got to hold on tight. Rose, you listen to me right now. Whatever happens, don't do anything that would hurt the baby. Please, you have got to protect the baby for us. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Rose replied. She shot him one more tongue in tooth smile before the Doctor gave the signal. Working in perfect synch as usual, they both pushed their levers into position and latched onto their Magnaclamps.

Just as he had predicted, the Daleks and Cybermen began to be pulled in. A steady stream of the monsters flew past them to their doom. And he and Rose were safe, holding on tight. "The breach is open! Into the Void! Ha!"

Not long after he said the words something he never imagined would happen did. Rose's lever, of course it had to be hers, moved just a bit. It wasn't much, but it was just enough to close the breach. The Doctor stared in horror at Rose as the computer announced that they were offline and the breach began to close. He _knew_ what she was going to do next. She was too brave, Rose Tyler. She was going to save the world one more time. Reaching out her hand to grab the lever as she locked eyes with the Doctor, she ignored the way he was mouthing the word no and let go, latching onto the lever. "I've got to get it upright!" she screamed, using all of her force to push it back into place.

However, it wasn't that easy. She couldn't hold onto the lever, Rose could already feel her grip slipping. "Rose, hold on! Hold on!" the Doctor screamed. It was all he could do not to let go, but he knew he couldn't help her right now. "Goddamn it, Rose! Hold on!" Rose tried to hold on, but the force was too strong. She was being pulled toward the Void, towards hell. One by one, her fingers slipped from the lever until she had nothing to hold onto. Screaming, Rose flew towards the Void. She caught a brief glimpse of the Doctor's horrified face before she slammed into a hard chest and vanished, saved and pulled into the alternate universe by Pete.

"Systems closed," the computer announced. The Doctor hit the ground hard. He had let go of the Megnaclamp, but it was too late. The breach was closed. And Rose was gone.

Getting up, the Doctor walked towards the white wall where he had last seen Rose. Rose was gone. He would never see her again. Or their baby, he would never get to raise their child. He laid his head against the wall, imagining that Rose was next to him, her hand pressed up against his own. But she wasn't.

Meanwhile, Rose was pressed up against the wall in the parallel Torchwood as well, pounding on the wall. "Take me back! Take me back! Take me back!" Rose screamed. She knew it was futile, he couldn't come get her no matter how much she wanted to. She was alone. And the pain was worse than she could imagine. It was so much worse.

…

Rose stepped out of the car on the empty beach, looking for the Doctor. She had heard him in her mind, calling her name. She knew it was him, it just had to be. Thankfully, others had listened and she had traveled hundreds and hundreds of miles to this beach. Just because the Doctor was calling. Gathering the three week old baby into her arms – the baby who was still asleep, thankfully – Rose walked down the windswept beach towards the lone figure.

"Where are you?" Rose asked the empty air, her heart sinking that she couldn't see the familiar TARDIS. The Doctor had just appeared a few feet away from her, looking like a holograph. It was so painful, to see him there when she knew he wasn't really _there._

"Inside the TARDIS," the Doctor said. His gaze only stayed on Rose's face for a few seconds before it shifted to the bundle in her arms. His brown eyes softened at seeing the baby. But he didn't have long and he needed to talk to Rose. "There's one tiny little gap in the Universe left, just about to close, and it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a super nova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

Rose gaped at him, blurting out what she was thinking. "You look like a ghost."

The Doctor sent her a sad smile before he pointed his sonic screwdriver at something, solidifying his image. "There you go."

"Can I?" Rose asked. She shifted the baby in her arms and moved closer, reaching out to feel him. To ensure that he was here and she wasn't just crazy. She wanted, no needed, to touch him. To ensure herself that she wasn't really dreaming.

"I'm still just an image," the Doctor whispered. He wished he was there with her. He hated it that he had missed so much time away from her. He wasn't there when she had the baby. He had broken his promise. "No touch."

"Can you come through? Can you come and get us?" Rose asked. She knew her questions were pointless by the look on his face, but she had to ask regardless. If he could come back to her he would have done it only minutes after she was trapped in the white room.

"I can't," the Doctor choked out, his hand twitching out to touch her. To move the blanket so he could see the baby's face. "Both of the universes would collapse."

Rose let out a half-sob. She had wanted to stay strong through this, but that was impossible. "So? I don't care. We need you here, Doctor."

"Where are we?" the Doctor said. He couldn't tell her again, it was too much. The Doctor didn't want to see her face again when he said it was impossible for them to ever see each other again. In the flesh that is. "Where did the gap come out?"

Rose sniffed. This was such a typical thing for the Doctor to ask. Whenever anything became too emotional he asked for facts. Something that he could rely on. "We're in Norway."

"Norway. Right," he sniffed, avoiding her eyes for a moment as he tried to steel his emotions.

"About fifty miles out of Burgen. It's called 'Dårlig Ulv Stranden'," Rose explained. This was one of those moments when she knew more than him. Before she would've teased him, but nothing was funny now.

"Dalek?" the Doctor asked. It would be that, he decided. Fate would make it that where they last see each other would be the name of the creatures that had torn them apart.

Rose smiled a bit before she responded again. This, she decided, was just too much. She had known, she had always known, what would happen. "Dårlig. It's Norwegian for bad. This translates as Bad Wolf Bay," she explained. She could tell by his face that there time was running out already. "How long have we got?"

"About two minutes," the Doctor whispered. He had done everything he could to find a way to talk to her but it would never be enough time. No, he wanted to stay here forever. He would sit here and wither away if it meant he could see her for five more minutes.

"I can't think of what to say!" Rose announced, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Tell me about our child," the Doctor said. His voice was so quiet she could barely hear, but she was glad he had said that. That the last thing he wanted them to discuss was the baby.

"She's perfect, Doctor," Rose whispered, moving in closer to him and shifting so that the Doctor could see the sleeping infant. "Her name is Clara Marie Tyler. She was born three weeks ago. I think she is going to have your eyes."

The Doctor felt tears fill his eyes, looking at the life that he had lost. "She's beautiful," he muttered. It was all he could do not to give up right then and there. To go to his daughter and Rose, no matter the consequences. To tear every universe apart, to spend an eternity, just to hold them in his arms one more time.

"And I think she is going to take after her father," Rose said, leaning down and kissing the baby on the forehead. "She is still so little but I can tell how smart she is. Sometimes she looks at me and I just know she is thinking so much more than she should. And she has this glint in her eyes, just like you. A desire for adventure, to run and save the world."

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, the Doctor brought his hand as close as he could to the baby. Just for a moment, he thought, just one second to be able to touch her. "Well then, you better look after her, you hear? Make sure you kiss every scraped knee from me too, yeah?"

"I promise," Rose whispered. She could barely speak, but she had to make use of this time with him. "I'll tell her about you all the time. About the amazing Doctor who travels the stars. She will know that her father didn't abandon her, it wasn't his fault and he wishes every day he could be there for her. His little Clara."

The Doctor nodded, turning his head so that she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry I won't be there for her. Or for you."

"I know," Rose muttered. It had been hard so far, to not curse him for ever existing. She missed him, she needed him. But he knew that, so there was no point to say it. So she brought up a happier topic, wanting to pretend they could stand here talking forever. "There's still a Torchwood on this planet. It's open for business. I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

"Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth," the Doctor whispered. His voice shook as he said it, his attempt at an optimistic tone failing.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" Rose asked. She already knew the answer, but she had to ask. She needed to make sure. She needed the finality of it all. She needed to be able to tell her daughter that it was impossible. And that no matter how much they wished the Doctor wasn't coming back. Not this time.

"You can't."

Rose took a deep breath, wiping off the tears from her eyes before she spoke up again. "What're you going to do?"

"Oh, I've got the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Time Lords," the Doctor explained. It was all he could do now. He had nothing else left now that he had lost Rose Tyler.

"On your own?" Rose asked, watching as he nodded. Just then Clara decided it was a good time to wake up, her eyes opening wide and looking at the strange man in front of her for a moment. The Doctor smiled at that. Rose had been right, she had his eyes. "You know I love you," Rose hurriedly added. Of course he knew, there was no way he couldn't know.

Clara started to cry, her loud wails breaking the quiet conversation. Rose glanced up at the Doctor as she tried to calm her down, both of their faces identical masks of pain. He was there, but he was going to leave soon. "Quite right, too. And I suppose, I should've told you to your face long ago," the Doctor whispered. "Rose Tyler…"

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence he vanished. The Doctor was stuck back on the TARDIS, his daughter's cries reverberating around his brain. There wasn't enough time.

Rose Tyler stood in shock, oblivious to the baby's increasing volume. She just hugged the child closer to her, sobbing as she looked at the empty air where the Doctor had stood moments before. He was gone. And he hadn't said it.

 **Thanks for all the support!**

 **Gabrielle**


End file.
